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Old 2009-07-10, 00:58   Link #2081
TinyRedLeaf
. . .
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Singapore
Age: 39
Drunk badger disrupts German traffic
Quote:
Berlin (July 9): A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday.

A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road -- only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea.

Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

- REUTERS
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Old 2009-07-11, 16:11   Link #2082
MihawkXGP
Master of The Sword
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Here's a good one:


Quote:
A mother is suing a hotel in Egypt after claiming her 13-year-old daughter got pregnant from swimming in a pool, a report claims.

Magdalena Kwiatkowska is convinced her daughter is a virgin and came into contact with some sperm as she swam in the hotel pool, British tabloid The Sun reports.

Mrs Kwiatkowska is now reportedly seeking compensation after returning to the family home in Poland.

"The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there," a travel industry source was quoted as saying.

"She is determined to go ahead with the case."

Tourist authorities in the Polish capital Warsaw confirmed they received Mrs Kwiatkowska's complaint, the newspaper said.
Teen Gets Pregnant from swimming pool

You can't make this stuff up
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Old 2009-07-12, 04:25   Link #2083
Saleh
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Join Date: Aug 2007
A terrible thing to happen, especially to a 13 year old. They must be horrified.

Want to make 80K a year? Try casting a spell

Quote:
LONDON (Reuters) - Fancy 80,000 dollars a year on a stress-free job with flexible working hours and no need to wear a suit?

Well, grab your black pointy hat, take out that rusty black hessian drape from the back of the wardrobe and refresh your memory on how to turn your grumpy neighbor into a mouse. Somerset tourist attraction Wookey Hole caves is advertising for a "witch" and has already received 100 applicants since the beginning of the week.

Legend has it that the caves, near Wells, were home to the Wookey Witch who was turned to stone by the medieval Abbott of Glastonbury to rid villagers of her curse.
Any volunteers ?
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Old 2009-07-12, 17:52   Link #2084
Knight Hawk
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York City
Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole
Quote:
We all know that walking and texting is a tough combination -- but a Staten Island teen learned the hard way when she fell into an uncovered sewer manhole while trying to send a message.

Now, the family of Alexa Longueira, 15, intends to sue.

The girl suffered a fright and some scrapes on her arms back after she dropped into the hole on Victory Boulevard.

"It was four or five feet, it was very painful. I kind of crawled out and the DEP guys came running and helped me," Longueria told the Staten Island Advance.. "They were just, like, 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

For its part, the Department of Environmental Protection said its workers had turned away briefly to grab some cones when the incident occurred.

"We regret that this happened and wish the young woman a speedy recovery," DEP spokeswoman Mercedes Padilla said in a statement. She added that crews were flushing a high-pressure sewer line at the time.

The girl was checked out at Staten Island University Hospital and released.

Sewer line workers are supposed to cut off pedestrian access to work sites or at least mark them with warning signs.

The family said they will file a lawsuit -- for what, though, is not immediately clear. Her mother, Kim Longueira, said it doesn't matter that her daughter was walking and texting, and also, the 'gross' factor that can't be ignored.

"Oh my God, it was putrid," she said. "One of her sneakers is still down there"
The family intends to sue . . . talk about stupid. Hope they lose the case, can't reward the incompetent.
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Old 2009-07-12, 19:59   Link #2085
Kamui4356
Aria Company
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saleh
A terrible thing to happen, especially to a 13 year old. They must be horrified.
Please tell me you're being sarcastic there and don't believe that's what actually happened. It's hard to tell from just text.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Hawk View Post
Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole

The family intends to sue . . . talk about stupid. Hope they lose the case, can't reward the incompetent.
They'll probably win by pointing out that the workers should have put the cones up first. Honestly, there's more than enough stupidity to go around in a case like that. Yes, the girl was an idiot, but the workers are supposed to put the markers up before they take the manhole cover off.
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Old 2009-07-12, 22:09   Link #2086
SaintessHeart
Ehh? EEEEHHHHHH?
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kamui4356 View Post
They'll probably win by pointing out that the workers should have put the cones up first. Honestly, there's more than enough stupidity to go around in a case like that. Yes, the girl was an idiot, but the workers are supposed to put the markers up before they take the manhole cover off.
If the lawyers defending the company are smart enough, they would have pointed out that even if the cones are placed, the girl would still have fallen into the cesspit anyway because she isn't looking at where she is going in the first place.

It is either she falls headfirst or feetfirst. In this case she lands like a cat. Who knows if she would be eating shit if the cones are placed in her path.
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Old 2009-07-12, 22:35   Link #2087
james0246
Senior Member
*Moderator
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: East Cupcake
Pupils told: Sex every day keeps the GP away:

Quote:
A National Health Service leaflet is advising school pupils that they have a “right” to an enjoyable sex life and that regular intercourse can be good for their cardiovascular health.

The document, called Pleasure, has been drawn up by NHS Sheffield, although it is also being circulated outside the city.

Alongside the slogan “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”, it says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”
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Old 2009-07-13, 07:21   Link #2088
Saleh
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kamui4356 View Post
Please tell me you're being sarcastic there and don't believe that's what actually happened. It's hard to tell from just text.
While the story is implausible, under age pregenancy is a bit serious. Both the child and the mother must have been terrified, each having their own reason to be so. Her mother would have been more successful if she had forgotten her prejudice and sued the man under article 267 of egyptian penal code.

Toy-gun Robber Foiled By Bat-wielding Store Worker

Quote:
(AP) Authorities in south Alabama say a gas station employee used a cricket bat to chase away a would-be robber who brandished a toy gun.

The Baldwin County Sheriff's office says the suspect entered Bee Gee's gas station near Bay Minette Saturday afternoon and tried to use the fake weapon to steal money.

Sheriff's Cpl. Mike Gaull tells the Press-Register of Mobile that the employee noticed the gun had an orange tip on the barrel and grabbed the cricket bat. The suspect then ran out of the store without any money.

*Snips*

Last edited by Saleh; 2009-07-17 at 09:44. Reason: To be honest, not that it matters anymore.
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Old 2009-07-13, 12:40   Link #2089
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saleh View Post
Its an implausible story or egyptian sperms may have evolved to live in hostile environment .

Toy-gun Robber Foiled By Bat-wielding Store Worker
The worker probably thought the hostile was a zombie. Cricket Bats are officially approved anti-zombie weapons.
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Old 2009-07-13, 14:01   Link #2090
synaesthetic
blinded by blood
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The girl down the manhole is lucky that she fell straight down instead of falling forward-first and slamming her chin against iron manhole-cover ring, probably breaking her jaw and maybe even killing her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
The worker probably thought the hostile was a zombie. Cricket Bats are officially approved anti-zombie weapons.
Have you been reading World War Z? ^^;
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Last edited by synaesthetic; 2009-07-13 at 14:14.
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Old 2009-07-13, 23:49   Link #2091
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
No, I got most of my clues from "Shaun of the Dead".
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Old 2009-07-13, 23:53   Link #2092
SaintessHeart
Ehh? EEEEHHHHHH?
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
No, I got most of my clues from "Shaun of the Dead".
Then the store worker must be a dancing banana.
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When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2009-07-15, 10:11   Link #2093
Saleh
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Man Find Himself Stuck in Manhole

Quote:
An inebriated man who fell asleep by the side of a street in the German city of Bochum awoke to find himself wedged up to the waist in a manhole. How he got there remains a mystery.

...
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Old 2009-07-15, 12:01   Link #2094
MrTerrorist
Takao Tsundere Cruiser
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Classified
Price of habit chokes US smoker
Quote:
A man in the United States popped out to his local petrol station to buy a pack of cigarettes - only to find his card charged $23,148,855,308,184,500
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Old 2009-07-15, 13:27   Link #2095
Xellos-_^
Married
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: R'lyeh
Age: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
The worker probably thought the hostile was a zombie. Cricket Bats are officially approved anti-zombie weapons.
Zombies are going to be the least of our worries thanks to our great US government.

Quote:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,...est=latestnews

A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.
isn't it great, a robot that eats meat
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Last edited by Xellos-_^; 2009-07-16 at 11:41.
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Old 2009-07-15, 15:08   Link #2096
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Quote:
So then: some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. But it looks like it's going to end in a hail of white-hot terror at the hands of marauding, corpse-eating Roombas.
My favorite line from the corpse-eating robot story...
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Old 2009-07-15, 15:20   Link #2097
Anh_Minh
I disagree with you all.
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xellos-_^ View Post
Zombies are going to be th eleast of our worries thanks to our great US government.



isn't it great, a robot that eats meat
A steampunk meat eater robot. They'll probably make ninja maid out of it.
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Old 2009-07-15, 15:34   Link #2098
iLney
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/07/15/qua...tch/index.html

"Can I buy Europe on pump 4?"

I wonder if Europe is that cheap...
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Old 2009-07-15, 22:35   Link #2099
DRAGUN H.E.X.
DAT Shiny Gunpla~
 
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: brunei darusalam
Age: 24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xellos-_^ View Post
Zombies are going to be th eleast of our worries thanks to our great US government.
isn't it great, a robot that eats meat
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
My favorite line from the corpse-eating robot story...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
A steampunk meat eater robot. They'll probably make ninja maid out of it.
maybe they weren't ROBOTS at all but just a bunch of genetic engineered animals designed for warfare combats ~ala~ pokemons?

or even mass-production type Evangelions?
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Old 2009-07-16, 11:28   Link #2100
Vexx
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
And, of course, even a slight change in programming might have the robot going after organic material for fuel whether it is dead or not .....
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