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Old 2009-09-03, 10:54   Link #141
Jazzrat
Bearly Legal
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by ITGuy View Post
One thing I have learned over the last while is "be yourself." People have become so self-conscious in the last while, people have lost the "nerve" to show themselves to the world. If you must experiment, experiment now while you are able to. It will answer questions for you.
I don't believe many people actually shows their true self to the world. There's so many different faces and ego that we have depending on the situation and surrounding (RL ego, alter ego, super ego)

And it's never too late to experiment! Our sexuality can change through time and experience just like our opinions and views.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
No, I never thought once that I was wrong, it's just part of my personality (read my user title). I have not the best temper ever. And I hold grudges to the people who were mean with me (or who lied to me). All in all, I dislike mean people, and whether somebody is mean with me or to another person, I, most of time, react to it. Seeking a kind of Justice even when I was young is part of why I do my current studies
All these talks about justice and baseball bat makes me think of you as this girl..
Spoiler for you really want to see ?:
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Old 2009-09-03, 11:09   Link #142
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pacific View Post
That is true. Then, it comes down to how "strong" a person is. If you can stand up for who you are, then you should be able to express yourself freely, and make other understand, that their discrimination-attitude, is worth basically shit.
But there are other persons, that stand in silence, because they can not take the "criticism."
There are not only one kind of criticism. Insulting somebody is not a good criticism.

Quote:
And i was talking about virginity-concept, not about homosexuals. /i thought this is what you were referring before
That is different, but i think that what you mentioned, is not like a daily thing. Prostitutes can get killed too, and so on. I guess, we cannot rule it out as a non-problem, but i would not define it as big, like huge issues of poverty and so on, that society could actually focus on.
You said:

Quote:
People should not get discriminated according to their sexual experience
I assumed you took the problem as a whole.

Anyway, something can be important even if it doesn't happen daily. That's the point. It's like saying "given the number of citizen in comparison to the nuber of rapes/murders, it's not even 25%, therefore it's not important!". Doesn't work like that, thanksfully.


@Jazzrat: How dare you, let's finish the fight on your profile.
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Old 2009-09-03, 11:21   Link #143
pacific
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
There are not only one kind of criticism. Insulting somebody is not a good criticism.


You said:



I assumed you took the problem as a whole.

Anyway, something can be important even if it doesn't happen daily. That's the point. It's like saying "given the number of citizen in comparison to the nuber of rapes/murders, it's not even 25%, therefore it's not important!". Doesn't work like that, thanksfully.


@Jazzrat: How dare you, let's finish the fight on your profile.
Um, will you stop putting words into my mouth, or alter my thoughts?
You said, that "you hope society will fix the discrimination" while you claim that the majority of the society is supporting this discrimination. That is oxymoron.
I just pointed out, that society as a whole, should focus on other things, cause the above "problems" can only be solved on a personal level.

Do not make it seem, like i do not care about the problems those people that get labeled, get. I do but i will admit that this is not a wide problem as you make it seem.
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Old 2009-09-03, 12:00   Link #144
Nikusu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pacific View Post
Um, will you stop putting words into my mouth, or alter my thoughts?
You said, that "you hope society will fix the discrimination" while you claim that the majority of the society is supporting this discrimination. That is oxymoron.
I just pointed out, that society as a whole, should focus on other things, cause the above "problems" can only be solved on a personal level.

Do not make it seem, like i do not care about the problems those people that get labeled, get. I do but i will admit that this is not a wide problem as you make it seem.
I believe your definition of oxymoron is skewed. What Narona is saying is that she hopes society will eventually seize discrimination, while at the moment the majority of society is encouraging discrimination through their behavior. For the most part, I agree with you though. The end solution is ones personal choice, but there are things that can be done on a larger scale to encourage good decisions. There will always be criminals, but would you agree that the laws of society decrease murder and robbery? Society can be an influence for better personal choices, but in the end, as you said, it's a personal choice to discriminate or not.

Furthermore, I would argue that labeling is wide spread issue. That is unless you feel that every person that has ever made contact with another person isn't wide spread. I'm not saying all of these labels are damaging, but "normal" and "abnormal" are both labels. It's part of human nature to label another person. You can't identify yourself without doing so. Are you funny, unfunny, thin, fat, smart, or stupid? If you lived on a deserted island by yourself, would you know if you're normal? Not all labels are harmful and for the most part they're good since they help us identify ourselves, but they can be used as such. Anyway, my argument was that labels are prevalent and I think I've thoroughly illustrated my point.
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Old 2009-09-03, 12:04   Link #145
pacific
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lv23 View Post
I believe your definition of oxymoron is skewed. What Narona is saying is that she hopes society will eventually seize discrimination, while at the moment the majority of society is encouraging discrimination through their behavior. For the most part, I agree with you though. The end solution is ones personal choice, but there are things that can be done on a larger scale to encourage good decisions. There will always be criminals, but would you agree that the laws of society decrease murder and robbery? Society can be an influence for better personal choices, but in the end, as you said, it's a personal choice to discriminate or not.
If it was worded it like this, then yes. I am sorry, but i am not in everyone's mind to understand what they are trying to say. I just decipher meanings, from the way they have worded it their replies.
I do agree with you, while society could reject certain behaviors, when it comes to these kind of subjects, it is mostly up to the individual.
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Old 2009-09-03, 16:39   Link #146
ITGuy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzrat View Post
I don't believe many people actually shows their true self to the world. There's so many different faces and ego that we have depending on the situation and surrounding (RL ego, alter ego, super ego)

And it's never too late to experiment! Our sexuality can change through time and experience just like our opinions and views.
Confidence is an experience you gain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ayame_Sohma View Post
What is your sexuality?
I'm straight

Do you think it matters what sexuality you are?

No, i don't think it matters what sexuality you are

Have you ever been bullied for your sexuality?

No, but i do get some comments because i only date white men.
Who would comment on that? Obviously someone is watching too close or is jealous.
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Old 2009-09-03, 16:43   Link #147
Jinto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
I love the disclaimer I will not eat you for stating what you feel
That may be true... maybe I just did not want to offend you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
No, I never thought once that I was wrong, it's just part of my personality (read my user title). I have not the best temper ever. And I hold grudges to the people who were mean with me (or who lied to me). All in all, I dislike mean people, and whether somebody is mean with me or to another person, I, most of time, react to it. Seeking a kind of Justice even when I was younger is part of why I do my current studies
I am the forgiving type. So, I guess that was too much thinking out of the box for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
But, keep also in mind, that I was younger, and while I see some things as good memories now (like what I "erased" from my previous post, about what happened to me because of squids in a restaurant), I don't see the fights I had about sexuality as good memories.

Plus, I have some siblings, and knowing than I was not an "exception" annoys me, because they met some people like the ones described above. I care for them alot, therefor, I hate those who are mean with them.
Okay ^^ But don't be overprotective, you don't want to make them dependend of you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Whatever your strongness, there are times when things can get really annoying. Most of the time, all that can be said about you or your kind just slip on you, and you don't care. But there are times when you get angry. Some things I can read or see in the medias annoy me a lot, for some reason like the fact that I desire children a lot, and I already feel concerned a lot about how I will deal with that in the future.
Oh why? I thought france was one of the most family friendly countries in europe. Well, I could imagine you see the problems not so much in the institutional sector but somewhere else.

Ah wait the topic... yes:

Sexualtiy is very intimate and private. For many it is a very important part of their own personality. Pleasent sexual fantasies for person A might absolutely disgusting sexual fantasies for person B. Since sexuality is so deep enrouted in the personality of most people they will treat it as very fundamental.
This can cause severe tensions when people with "incompatible" sexual fantasies have to deal with each other and they know of each others sexual fantasies.
Now there are some people who did not learn to tolerate differences on such a fundamental level. They will not only be biased towards their own sexuality, but openly hostile towards other sexualities.

Now to be honest...
Personally I am straight. I think I am very tolerant. However, I feel a little bit uneasy with gay males around me in contrast to gay females. While it is very easy to accept that a gay female cannot be sexually interested in me, I cannot really deal with the idea that a male gay might be sexually interested in me.
Its like a feeling of being stalked. I know it is stupid but I cannot get completely rid of that feeling. Therefore I usually do not want to know if a male is gay or not. That makes it easier for me to interact just normal/unbiased with them.

(for lack of a better term... sexual fantasy = sexual fantasy + sexual practice + sexuality)

Quote:
Way to be a homophobe boo hiss
Don't worry. Despite my openess here in this thread I usually appear indifferent. I know it is not just to treat people differently based on their sexuality. Typically, I try to ignore what I feel in such a situation. So, this is basically a I fight in my head not something the outside world can see (except when I want to be honest like in this thread).

Last edited by Jinto; 2009-09-03 at 18:36.
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Old 2009-09-09, 07:26   Link #148
ZephyrLeanne
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Wellington, NZ
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Maybe I should share some experiences with you from a all-boys' high school.

I'm perfectly straight.
And I don't really care about YOUR sexuality, because it is YOURS not mine.

But. Go all around and say "my side is better than yours", whether you're straight, gay, or bi, is unacceptable either way.

And, that's what I experienced in high school.

I had been in Singapore between S1 to S3, before moving back to Kobe, Japan for High school. I enrolled in a VERY prestigious Christian boys high school. And horrors.

In a "Christian" school, only 45% of the cohort were Christian. There were a multitude of faiths, but not having any (atheist) was the most common.

And the gay population? VERY HIGH. And they were the "in-your-face" kind. In a school where you should either be gay or a player, I stuck out like a sore thumb for my conservative, one-track policy (in other words, at any one time, one gf, not keeping a harem).
[Didn't help that my whole lineage was either Ryukyuan or Sankokujin.] As you might know, Japan society isn't kind to deviants. (Even if you match general Japanese society, if you aren't in the immediate crowd, woe to you.)

So, just a snippet. Of course, I graduated unharmed.
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Old 2009-10-08, 20:38   Link #149
AmyElizzabeth
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Quote:
What is your sexuality?
Bisexual, I am a 13 year old Girl..haha

Quote:
Do you think it matters what sexuality you are?
Not at all. It's either you're born with it or a choice..Idk which.

Quote:
Have you ever been bullied for your sexuality?
Yes. Last year, in 7th grade, I got alot of shit from going out with my friend, Katharin.
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Old 2009-10-08, 21:19   Link #150
Ricky Controversy
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Join Date: Oct 2009
I've always felt the concept of sexuality as a continuum is quite valid, and accounts better for the array of preferential sets I've observed in the people around me. I'd also go farther and say that where a person falls in this spectrum is a moving target, constantly changing in subtle ways, though often these changes will not be simple progressions but oscillations back and forth about one center point.

In my case, I am quite plainly asexual--not in the sense of biological deficiency, but in the sense of lacking any preference. While I experience some measure of strong emotional attachment to people of either gender that you could deem romantic, and I've had sexual relationships in the past, I as an individual see sexual activity through a distant, academic lens and have absolutely no physical inclination towards it. Sexual relationships I have been involved in have been, for me, a matter of pleasing the other person as a show of affection while my body is entirely unstimulated by the whole process. Seeing as I have a variety of neurological quirks that have left me with strangely wired senses, I think it's likely this has something to do with it.

That being said, I think sexuality is very important, whereas sexual orientation doesn't really have to define a person in any way whatsoever. Your sexuality, that is to say, the nature of your sexual behavior and desires, generally draws on elements of your broader personality. Because of this, sexual honesty becomes very important in achieving higher levels of emotional intimacy. It is another way to learn a person.

Bullied for my sexuality? Well, yes, growing up asexual is a bizarre situation. In general social situations, people will be confused by their inability to get a clear and quick read on you, usually they make the assumption you're bisexual or closeted homosexual. While not bullying, per se, this often lead to situations where a homosexual or bisexual male would directly express interest, leading to one of two situations: either considerable embarrassment when I explained the reality to them, or anger and accusations of 'hiding who I am' and being cowardly. Conversely, females who expressed their interest only for me to explain my asexuality assumed I was trying to hide homosexuality, and males looking for a target for their abuse did the same.

Even if you're fortunate enough to find a group of friends for whom sexuality isn't the hot topic, being 0% sexual versus say 30% sexual still means there will be times you'll be completely apart from the group, conversations people feel they can't have with you even though you desperately want to lend them your ears.

Additionally, my best friend is similarly asexual, the only other person I know who is, and as a result of all of this confusion and nonexistent subtext people read into that, eyebrows get raised when people find out that he and I have recently been discussing living together in the long term and perhaps adopting a child to raise.

Last edited by Ricky Controversy; 2009-10-08 at 21:33.
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Old 2009-10-09, 08:18   Link #151
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricky Controversy View Post
In my case, I am quite plainly asexual--not in the sense of biological deficiency, but in the sense of lacking any preference. While I experience some measure of strong emotional attachment to people of either gender that you could deem romantic, and I've had sexual relationships in the past, I as an individual see sexual activity through a distant, academic lens and have absolutely no physical inclination towards it. Sexual relationships I have been involved in have been, for me, a matter of pleasing the other person as a show of affection while my body is entirely unstimulated by the whole process. Seeing as I have a variety of neurological quirks that have left me with strangely wired senses, I think it's likely this has something to do with it.
*jaw drop*
O.o!!!!?
Gonna be blunt, just so you can break this down in simple, laymans terms to begin with before I start building info on it.

Lacking any preference is one thing. Loving all kinds of humans regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation I've heard gathers towards being pansexual perhaps.
However...
As you described it, you have no physical inclination towards it meaning... you don't have a sex drive?
Or is it more a case in a similar situation to when guys masturbate that it just becomes ritual to lose morning wood as natural as breathing or eating, but it's not because you're actually driven per se.
It's just part of daily life to take care of yourself.
*re reads*
Unstimulated, so basically, (I assume you're a guy), you remain soft, heart doesn't race, temp doesn't rise, mind doesn't go blank with arousal;
none of the biological setups occur with you while having sex with another...

Just curious to see what parts are triggered and what isn't to define yourself as asexual...
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Old 2009-10-09, 09:13   Link #152
SaintessHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
*jaw drop*
O.o!!!!?
Gonna be blunt, just so you can break this down in simple, laymans terms to begin with before I start building info on it.

Lacking any preference is one thing. Loving all kinds of humans regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation I've heard gathers towards being pansexual perhaps.
However...
As you described it, you have no physical inclination towards it meaning... you don't have a sex drive?
Or is it more a case in a similar situation to when guys masturbate that it just becomes ritual to lose morning wood as natural as breathing or eating, but it's not because you're actually driven per se.
It's just part of daily life to take care of yourself.
*re reads*
Unstimulated, so basically, (I assume you're a guy), you remain soft, heart doesn't race, temp doesn't rise, mind doesn't go blank with arousal;
none of the biological setups occur with you while having sex with another...

Just curious to see what parts are triggered and what isn't to define yourself as asexual...
That "a" in "asexual" probably meant "ANIME"-sexual. Means that he is only interested in animated 2D girls.

Lacking in preference means that he is just disinterested, not just asexual. Hermaphrodites are asexual. For his situation, finding a term might be tougher than cuddling up a nekomimi because

1. Bisexual / Polysexual means he is interested in both sexes.
2. Homosexual means he is interested in a similar sex.
3. Heterosexual means he is perfectly normal (likes girls).
4. Pansexual means that he is only interested in romantic love (could in the form of 1-3).

I think the best word to use is apathetic rather than asexual. The former may make one sound worthless because of that "pathetic" (you know that it isn't a layman term so retards don't understand it), but at least is is better than claiming that you can execute binary fission or unassisted self-reproduction.
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Old 2009-10-09, 09:26   Link #153
cheyannew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
1. Bisexual / Polysexual means he is interested in both sexes.
2. Homosexual means he is interested in a similar sex.
3. Heterosexual means he is perfectly normal (likes girls).
4. Pansexual means that he is only interested in romantic love (could in the form of 1-3).

Oh dearie me, I twitched a bit...
Since when was heterosexuality "perfectly normal"? Who's to say what is normal for anyone? Also, I have never heard the term polysexual; generally "poly" used in terms of sexuality/relationships refers to polyamourism, since poly means "many" and let's face it there aren't many genders
Also, not to be pedantic, but pansexual means "exhibiting or implying many forms of sexual expression" so that could have everything, or nothing to do with romanticism.

I'm also fairly sure Mystique is snickering right now, as she KNOWS good and well I'd respond to this :P

I'm supposed to be doing research, not trolling boards LOL!
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Old 2009-10-09, 10:27   Link #154
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
I'm also fairly sure Mystique is snickering right now, as she KNOWS good and well I'd respond to this :P

I'm supposed to be doing research, not trolling boards LOL!
You know me too well, I am laughing offline right now just thinking to myself;
'hmm... If cheyannew reads point number 1, she's gonna flip' xD
Quote:
Oh dearie me, I twitched a bit...
Since when was heterosexuality "perfectly normal"? Who's to say what is normal for anyone? Also, I have never heard the term polysexual; generally "poly" used in terms of sexuality/relationships refers to polyamourism, since poly means "many" and let's face it there aren't many genders
Also, not to be pedantic, but pansexual means "exhibiting or implying many forms of sexual expression" so that could have everything, or nothing to do with romanticism.
Yeah, I didn't get the impression that the pansexual term refers to just 'romantic love', I had a pansexual sit me down to explain how they view sexuality from their p.o.v, to me it feels like a "4th level".

Hetro
Homo
Bi
Pan
Quote:
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by attraction to both the same gender and the opposite gender. Unlike pansexuality, it does not specifically include people who fall outside the gender binary. Pansexuality has been described as a "means to skip the binaries and essentialism of 'bi'."[3
Wiki touches on it a little, but the sense I gathered from the person I spoke with is that even being 'bi' is limited in some way.

Sexuality is a tricky/sensitive topic (well there are quite a few of those floating about on the GC forums anyways)
But to keep things semi civil, to label one sexual orientation as 'perfectly normal', with the unspoken implication that the others are abnormal, despite your personal opinion is potentially asking for backlash, lol.

Quote:
Asexuality (also known as nonsexuality[1]) is a sexual orientation describing individuals who do not experience sexual attraction,[2][3] or have no interest in or desire for sex.[4] Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation.[5] One commonly cited study placed the incidence rate of asexuality at 1%.[6]
I'm waiting on Ricky's response to my simpleton questions. Despite the quote and 'official' definitions, it's still somewhat surreal to me as a concept for a human being to be wired to experience no sexual attraction.
Prob a 'don't miss what I've never experienced' situation but still... pretty surreal
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Old 2009-10-09, 11:04   Link #155
Ricky Controversy
Frandle & Nightbag
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
As you described it, you have no physical inclination towards it meaning... you don't have a sex drive?
This is essentially correct.

Quote:
Or is it more a case in a similar situation to when guys masturbate that it just becomes ritual to lose morning wood as natural as breathing or eating, but it's not because you're actually driven per se. It's just part of daily life to take care of yourself.
Actually, this doesn't play any part in it, as I've never been capable of masturbation.

Quote:
*re reads*
Unstimulated, so basically, (I assume you're a guy), you remain soft, heart doesn't race, temp doesn't rise, mind doesn't go blank with arousal;
none of the biological setups occur with you while having sex with another...
In order to accomplish an erection when 'necessary', I developed a handful of tricks to increase my blood pressure such that the result is the same, but no, I don't get aroused, my heart rate doesn't increase, my body temperature remains constant--but again, I have a number of biological abnormalities, so 'normal' body temperature for me is 101, and it stays there regardless--and my mind remains extended across the usual various threads of thought.

I feel like asexual is the appropriate term, as it matches the general description of asexuality given by Wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexual

Perhaps that will help clarify. Any questions you still have after reading that, I will, however, be glad to try and explain.
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Old 2009-10-09, 11:09   Link #156
ChainLegacy
廉頗
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Massachusetts, US
Age: 25
Not to imply there is anything wrong with your inclinations (in fact it would probably make life simpler in many ways), but I'm curious if you've ever looked into a medical reason for your asexuality (or if you have further information regarding your biological abnormalities). I know low testosterone from zinc deficiencies (or other mineral imbalances) can disrupt or eradicate sex drive. Though your comment about a body temperature of 101 is leading me to believe it isn't a nutritional matter. Don't want to come off as nosy or weird, but you've piqued my curiosity .
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Old 2009-10-09, 11:18   Link #157
Ricky Controversy
Frandle & Nightbag
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChainLegacy View Post
Not to imply there is anything wrong with your inclinations (in fact it would probably make life simpler in many ways), but I'm curious if you've ever looked into a medical reason for your asexuality (or if you have further information regarding your biological abnormalities). I know low testosterone from zinc deficiencies (or other mineral imbalances) can disrupt or eradicate sex drive. Though your comment about a body temperature of 101 is leading me to believe it isn't a nutritional matter. Don't want to come off as nosy or weird, but you've piqued my curiosity .
No worries, it's an odd circumstance, I know. While I've considered the possibility that there is some medical answer to the question 'Why am I this way?', I suppose it has never struck me as important enough to investigate.

While I've made it a point to consult with doctors and research most of my other biologically anomalous features, that's just one I suppose I haven't had the interest to look into? Often when it comes up with medical or psychological professionals, the first question is if I underwent any sexual abuse while young that perhaps 'turned me off', but this is not the case.

Also: Represent, Massachusetts.
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Old 2009-10-09, 11:29   Link #158
Cipher
.....
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
If you had both male and female reproductive systems, are you capable of producing children?(by yourself I mean)
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Old 2009-10-09, 13:17   Link #159
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cipher View Post
If you had both male and female reproductive systems, are you capable of producing children?(by yourself I mean)
Produce children by yourself?

I don't think that's physically possible, even if you had both male and female reproductive systems. It takes two people to make a baby, even in cases of artificial insemination.

Plus, why would you want to have a kid by yourself? That child would be, technically, half of you and... half of you. That could cause a lot of genetic mutations and defects and make life harder for the baby.
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Old 2009-10-09, 13:39   Link #160
Jinto
Asuki-tan Kairin ↓
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Fürth (GER)
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Produce children by yourself?

I don't think that's physically possible, even if you had both male and female reproductive systems. It takes two people to make a baby, even in cases of artificial insemination.

Plus, why would you want to have a kid by yourself? That child would be, technically, half of you and... half of you. That could cause a lot of genetic mutations and defects and make life harder for the baby.
In theory it could be possible if both parts of the reproductive systems are fully functional. Which makes the whole selfimpregnating issue more often then not impossible.
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