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Old 2009-03-19, 16:25   Link #241
willyvereb
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Of course!
I will edit that post when i done...in exchange i need the same thing tomorrow.
Edit: It seems that you already volunteered for it...
Ok my rewiev about the introduction chapter:
-Somehow Rick's motivation of joining Kataron isseems to me cliche...perhaps it shouldn't be a big problem if it's just remains background and the story never mentions it.
-the customised Overflag: It's good but remember that conventional weapons had little effect on the Gundams...same with the GN-X III's. There's only one option that it can defeat some GN-X's:If it has some kind of beam weaponry! Remember: the Union and AEU resarched beam weapons and they were close to completiotion at S1...perhaps it's not GNP-based beams but if it has some kind of beam weaponry then i guess it have a chance against a GN-X.
Chapter One:
the fight was pretty fighting shounenesque, but then showed some tactics.
Problems:
-The start of battle was somewhat confusing...at first i thought the Mission was at atmosphere:P
-The blade of Raven's rifle has no chance to cut through the GN-X's armor. In practicular only a beam saber or GN blade can do that cleanly in melee(probably a plasma blade do the work too, but it's not jwith just one lazy swing)...
Anyways exept the things i mentioned the fighting scenes were well commented...but i think sometimes the conversation was a bit misty sometimes and i even have problems indentifing who speaks(red suits, black Flag...first i don't recognised who you meant with them...)
Chapter Two:
A cliffhanger with Aeolia...welli think it'll continues.
-You could add some response from Rick when he sees Exia...he once fighted against them so it's quite stunning to see a "relic from the past"

It may seems that it's a negative critique, but just i have a habit to point out the errors mostly. I think the errors what's important...the places where we should improve.
Anyways: Good work with it. I'm quite interested how you connect Rick's story to the main happenings.

Last edited by willyvereb; 2009-03-19 at 17:24.
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Old 2009-03-19, 18:00   Link #242
blitz1/2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willyvereb View Post
Of course!
I will edit that post when i done...in exchange i need the same thing tomorrow.
Edit: It seems that you already volunteered for it...
Ok my rewiev about the introduction chapter:
-Somehow Rick's motivation of joining Kataron isseems to me cliche...perhaps it shouldn't be a big problem if it's just remains background and the story never mentions it.
-the customised Overflag: It's good but remember that conventional weapons had little effect on the Gundams...same with the GN-X III's. There's only one option that it can defeat some GN-X's:If it has some kind of beam weaponry! Remember: the Union and AEU resarched beam weapons and they were close to completiotion at S1...perhaps it's not GNP-based beams but if it has some kind of beam weaponry then i guess it have a chance against a GN-X.
Chapter One:
the fight was pretty fighting shounenesque, but then showed some tactics.
Problems:
-The start of battle was somewhat confusing...at first i thought the Mission was at atmosphere:P
-The blade of Raven's rifle has no chance to cut through the GN-X's armor. In practicular only a beam saber or GN blade can do that cleanly in melee(probably a plasma blade do the work too, but it's not jwith just one lazy swing)...
Anyways exept the things i mentioned the fighting scenes were well commented...but i think sometimes the conversation was a bit misty sometimes and i even have problems indentifing who speaks(red suits, black Flag...first i don't recognised who you meant with them...)
Chapter Two:
A cliffhanger with Aeolia...welli think it'll continues.
-You could add some response from Rick when he sees Exia...he once fighted against them so it's quite stunning to see a "relic from the past"

It may seems that it's a negative critique, but just i have a habit to point out the errors mostly. I think the errors what's important...the places where we should improve.
Anyways: Good work with it. I'm quite interested how you connect Rick's story to the main happenings.
Sure, will do! (will make teh corrections) I always thought the Overflag's weapons were beams (oh well, guess I was wrong). Was conventional weapons useless against GNXIIIs, I was sure in one of the latest eps, I saw an Ahead being destroyed by Kataron Enacts.

send me the link (or post your FF here once first chapter is done)

About the Aeolia scenes, (it was a bit influenced by the HOTD series where it shows the mastermind's motives and how he progressed and as such, I believed if I did something similar would be better that way as I found it disappointing that Gundam 00 lacked the development of Aeolia's theories.)

The idea of Rick/Raven (if you are an AC player, you would know why I picked that code name ^_^) I always thought Kataron was the cannon fodder of everything, yea old suits and everything, so I thought what would happen if I had a person with Graham skills in kataron? (and so, Rick was born)

O-gundam (before Lasse uses it), I thought it was scrapped, so might as well put it to use. (I like it in black colors with red lens, again similar to a raven)
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Last edited by blitz1/2; 2009-03-19 at 19:12.
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Old 2009-03-22, 15:02   Link #243
willyvereb
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My Fanfiction is started:
The link is here!
Name: Gundam 00:Rebirth
Soon Chapter 2 is out, but was busy.
EDIT:There was some typo's in the first chapter and OOC sayings with Alle/Halle so i reposted it.

Last edited by willyvereb; 2009-03-24 at 05:16.
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Old 2009-03-28, 09:54   Link #244
Dean_the_Young
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Episode 24's drabble, and something I never thought I'd do. A fic of Mileinia and Tieria, though not really romance. A tale of connections.

Dear Mr. Erde...
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Old 2009-04-02, 19:52   Link #245
Yosei
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Hi all,

this is a Gundam 00/Transformers Crossover that focuses on the perspective of the Gundam 00 characters. This is my first time writing a Gundam fanfiction and I have much more grounding in the TF universe and canon, so go easy on me. The story is currently posted on ff.net but I think an introduction is called for, and I may post up the character's profiles if feedback on ff.net is good. This story also focuses on the two commanders of Celestial Being and the Autobots, Sumeragi Lee Noriega (Leesa Kujo) and Optimus Prime.

Spoiler for space:


This is the link to the Prologue.

This is the link to Chapter 1
.

This is the link to Chapter 2
.
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Old 2009-04-09, 16:03   Link #246
willyvereb
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At last! Chapter Two is done.
I hope it's enjoyable.
Link:
Gundam 00: Rebirth second chapter

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Old 2009-04-19, 07:23   Link #247
willyvereb
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I'm done with Chapter Three. It's somewhat a character development/introduction chapter with many cliffhangers to the future happenings.
Link:Gundam 00 Rebirth third chapter
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Old 2009-04-20, 06:18   Link #248
gundam rider
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willyvereb View Post
I'm done with Chapter Three. It's somewhat a character development/introduction chapter with many cliffhangers to the future happenings.
Link:Gundam 00 Rebirth third chapter
*supports kovac*...........
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Old 2009-05-07, 06:59   Link #249
aeriolewinters
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Here's a fic I made: it's just a teaser...

Spoiler for Gundam SEED Seraphim:
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Old 2009-05-07, 07:09   Link #250
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Ouch. Mary Sue litmus test time?
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Old 2009-05-07, 12:16   Link #251
willyvereb
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Chapter Four is out!
Gundam 00: Rebirth 4th chapter

My writing may starting to improve a bit. Perhaps i has little motivation to write the previous week so i was late(again)
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Old 2009-05-18, 20:59   Link #252
ATP
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Hi there, I am new here, so please pardon me if I did anything wrong.

So I'd like to create a fanfic - a crossover/Fix Fic of sort, but the problem is, I don't seem to have enough base knowledge about the last few episodes of Gundam SEED (precisely, the Second Battle of Jachin Due i.e. ep. 43-50). These are the points I need to clear up:

- What side was Rau Le Crauset or the Dominion on again? Last time I remember, this battle was some sort of a FFA.
- What is the Three Ship Alliance doing again, please? Was it "stopping every side from firing their WMD and keep casualties at minimum, or what?

This time, Wikipedia phailed hard, so I think it's bets to turn to the experts for help.

Once this is dones, I'll try to save Fllay...

Spoiler:


Thank you for your help.
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Old 2009-05-20, 00:15   Link #253
Revolutionist
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ATP View Post
Hi there, I am new here, so please pardon me if I did anything wrong.

So I'd like to create a fanfic - a crossover/Fix Fic of sort, but the problem is, I don't seem to have enough base knowledge about the last few episodes of Gundam SEED (precisely, the Second Battle of Jachin Due i.e. ep. 43-50). These are the points I need to clear up:

- What side was Rau Le Crauset or the Dominion on again? Last time I remember, this battle was some sort of a FFA.
- What is the Three Ship Alliance doing again, please? Was it "stopping every side from firing their WMD and keep casualties at minimum, or what?

This time, Wikipedia phailed hard, so I think it's bets to turn to the experts for help.

Once this is dones, I'll try to save Fllay...

Spoiler:


Thank you for your help.
she needs a divine shield + hearthstone set to the Archangel! bubble hearth ftw!
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Old 2009-05-20, 02:39   Link #254
DRAGUN H.E.X.
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just testing out on how my writing goes... :P

Spoiler for yosh:


yosh, boredom.
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Old 2009-05-20, 18:55   Link #255
willyvereb
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I wrote over my previous fanfic: Gundam 00: Rebirth because i found the story a little bit hard to understand and the character developments were a bit dull.
I hope with that new additions it becomes more enjoyable.
If you want to read it:
The link is here!
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Old 2009-07-25, 11:33   Link #256
willyvereb
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After weeks of slince I'm ready with the next piece:
Gundam 00: Rebirth- Chapter Five: The contradiction of Peace

As an extra I reworked most of the chapters to fix story holes, OOC things and add more details.
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Old 2009-07-25, 13:03   Link #257
Death Header
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ALTERNATE PAST[/QUOTE]

It's a fanfiction about how Neil gets transferred over to A-LAWs, and learns the truth about the world itself (hints of Neil opposing Celestial Being)

oh yea, and it's my fanfiction.
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Old 2009-09-21, 06:56   Link #258
FerrisWheel
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I wonder what would happened if Code Geass met Gundam 00. Totally rididculous,idea,but that's what FF is about,amirite?
Setsuna vs Lelouch ftw.
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Old 2009-09-22, 00:32   Link #259
GN0010 Nosferatu
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Originally Posted by FerrisWheel View Post
I wonder what would happened if Code Geass met Gundam 00. Totally rididculous,idea,but that's what FF is about,amirite?
Setsuna vs Lelouch ftw.

Simple...00 wins.
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Old 2009-09-22, 18:25   Link #260
FerrisWheel
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^^In a Nightmare Frame vs Gundam battle yes. But if it was just Lulu vs Setsu ...lulu would win he'd probably just make setsuna comeplte a jigsaw puzzle or something irrelveant. *bites lip and proceeds not to write a crack story*
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