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Old 2009-10-10, 20:18   Link #16701
Nita
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
It's that time again...

RadiantBeam and I are proud to present...

Day in the Life

Chapter 23

Partners

Also, long chapter, broken up into multiple posts again.

Spoiler for Partners:


Continued in the next post...
For a moment there I really thought that Teela was going to die, and like what Keroko said, it would have been a heavy emotional impact to Teana that would have helped all the angst going on, but I was like: "Nooo, don't die! you're just too cute to die! i-i" so in the end I was happy with her staying alive XD
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Old 2009-10-10, 20:56   Link #16702
Satashi
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Semi NSFW fic. I've done the "talk to Vivio about the birds and the bees" fic probably 4 times now, but I just love it so much XD This time I wanted to focus more on the parents and their realization that they have to confront their daughter about such an awkward subject. Dedicated to lilgumba :3

Spoiler for Reverse Psychology?:
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:00   Link #16703
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Oh that was awesome. Syn needs to teach me some pointers :P
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:07   Link #16704
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Originally Posted by Frisko View Post
Regarding the discussion about the rarity of intelligent devices, the first intelligent device we see in the series belonged to a civilian, so its not impossible the Chris would have one. Incidentally, Kerykeion and Asclepius are Boost Devices, the Tome of the Night Sky is a storage device, and Steed (Touma's other device) appears to be an Intelligent Device.
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Chris is young, so his going to a garage could easily be explained by his own inexperience... this is the first time he's caused some serious damage to Shining Hope that he couldn't repair himself. And I can't go the TSAB route, because Chris was never part of the TSAB and neither was his family.
Raising Heart didn't "belong" to Yuuno per se, though, although she was in his possession...Bardiche, though, was...who the hell did make Bardiche, anyway, was it Precia or Linith? Either way, it was created privately under the auspices of a highly-advanced scientific background (recall that Precia was herself a genius mage scientist), so perhaps Shining Hope's background lies within Chris's family in that fashion? It would require some backstory writing, but it's at least possible if he has access to either immense wealth, technical genius, or (possibly illegal) archaeological exploration...or black-market weapons contacts (though that gets a little tricky when the weapon itself is sapient).

The trickier problem is how a low-end repair shop would be capable of fixing an Intelligent Device, particularly given the amount of damage that such a Device can take and self-repair (Raising Heart's recovery in MGLN, and Fate and Bardiche's use of Recovery in ep. 12 of that same season), which illustrates just how badly beat up Shining Hope would have to become to be in the shop at all. The technology just isn't there--nor would Miyuki, personally, have the education and background to suddenly become a Device Meister (though ironically, it might make a valid long-term career choice).

Edit: Dern, Satashi, that was funny!

Last edited by DezoPenguin; 2009-10-10 at 21:09. Reason: Read Satashi's short fic
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:09   Link #16705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
The trickier problem is how a low-end repair shop would be capable of fixing an Intelligent Device, particularly given the amount of damage that such a Device can take and self-repair (Raising Heart's recovery in MGLN, and Fate and Bardiche's use of Recovery in ep. 12 of that same season), which illustrates just how badly beat up Shining Hope would have to become to be in the shop at all. The technology just isn't there--nor would Miyuki, personally, have the education and background to suddenly become a Device Meister (though ironically, it might make a valid long-term career choice).
...

*headdesk*

Gaaaaaah, this is more trouble than I thought it would be. @_@ I just assumed Miyuki could ask Nanoha if Shari or Mariel could take a look at in once she learned that her garage wasn't properly equipped to handle that kind of thing.
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:14   Link #16706
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
...

*headdesk*

Gaaaaaah, this is more trouble than I thought it would be. @_@ I just assumed Miyuki could ask Nanoha if Shari or Mariel could take a look at in once she learned that her garage wasn't properly equipped to handle that kind of thing.
Okay, so that explains how Shining Hope gets fixed. Now you just need to establish two things:

1. Is Chris naive enough (or just plain stupid enough) to not understand that Intelligent Devices can't be taken to the same repair shop where you get your household electronics fixed? Or (say, if he's Hikaru), is he playing the role of someone stupid or naive enough? If he is, then that gets him in the door, but you'll have to be consistent with it later.

2. Miyuki, though, ought to know that she can't handle it. So in editing the chapter, maybe she ought to say so--but then think of the people she knows through Nanoha and say that she has some friends who might be able to take a look at it (though in that case Chris wanting to do the "have it fixed while I wait" thing wouldn't work).
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:20   Link #16707
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Okay, so that explains how Shining Hope gets fixed. Now you just need to establish two things:

1. Is Chris naive enough (or just plain stupid enough) to not understand that Intelligent Devices can't be taken to the same repair shop where you get your household electronics fixed? Or (say, if he's Hikaru), is he playing the role of someone stupid or naive enough? If he is, then that gets him in the door, but you'll have to be consistent with it later.

2. Miyuki, though, ought to know that she can't handle it. So in editing the chapter, maybe she ought to say so--but then think of the people she knows through Nanoha and say that she has some friends who might be able to take a look at it (though in that case Chris wanting to do the "have it fixed while I wait" thing wouldn't work).
Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for the advice. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble.
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:24   Link #16708
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Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Kehehe, you're right. Tasty coincidence.
Came to the same conclusion after reading Force 1 and 2 more closely. Only problem is them 3 are bonded to 3 semi-unrelated masters. While this also mirrors the original MKR character set-up (all 3 came from different schools), it also kills me to note that because of this Nanoha World setup, I won't be seeing a Dai-Rayearth three-way gattai any time soon.
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:26   Link #16709
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for the advice. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble.
It's not trouble. I mean, that's why we post stuff in this thread, right, so people can look at it and point out the plotholes and technology errors and help get it all back onto the right track.

*headdesks while realizing, on that theme, that Stahlkonigin ch. 21 goes up in nine days and that while the Great Teleportation Flamewar ended in a "don't mention it" I still need to rewrite both the history of Jarentil and the weapons suite on the Heimdall killsats*
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Old 2009-10-10, 21:27   Link #16710
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Semi NSFW fic. I've done the "talk to Vivio about the birds and the bees" fic probably 4 times now, but I just love it so much XD This time I wanted to focus more on the parents and their realization that they have to confront their daughter about such an awkward subject. Dedicated to lilgumba :3

Spoiler for Reverse Psychology?:
*waggles finger at Nanoha and Fate* Tsk, tsk, tsk...Nanoha-chan, Fate-chan...don't you think that you're being TOO overprotective of Vivio-chan? Syn-chan loves her and vise versa.

Another good one Satashi.
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Old 2009-10-10, 22:27   Link #16711
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora View Post
Rein is also a fully Ancient Belka device along with the Tome of the Night Sky and Schwertkreuz... We really need more information regarding stuff in the Nanohaverse...
Rein (as in Rein Zwei) is a modern recreation, not an original Ancient Belka manufactured Unison Device like Agito. Hayate's current Tome and Schwertkreuz are also modern Storage Devices.

Quote:
Maybe I should ask Nanya if we can edit the chapter and just kill Teela off... like we were going to originally.
They'll be fine. Teana may not be the most compatible Master for her, but they'll adapt. And she's one partner Teana won't have to worry about stabbing her in the back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Chris is young, so his going to a garage could easily be explained by his own inexperience... this is the first time he's caused some serious damage to Shining Hope that he couldn't repair himself. And I can't go the TSAB route, because Chris was never part of the TSAB and neither was his family.
I have a few suggestions:
1. Going the "family heirloom" route, Shining Hope could be an old-model design that didn't come with the self-repair feature. So it's more likely to encounter disabling damage.
2. The Device has been left inactive since it was wrecked by its previous owner. Recall that it took the Wolkenritter to damage Raising Heart and Bardiche to the point that they need external support to fix themselves. The TSAB would have... questions for how Chris wrecked Shining Hope by himself, and how come he's still alive. Since it'll be going to a Bureau meister for repairs eventually, Bureau attention will be cast on the incident eventually too. So, put some thought into this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I just assumed Miyuki could ask Nanoha if Shari or Mariel could take a look at in once she learned that her garage wasn't properly equipped to handle that kind of thing.
Intelligent Devices are extremely rare, despite being popularized by the Aces around this time. So it's not unreasonable that details about their creation and support aren't very well known.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
I still need to rewrite both the history of Jarentil and the weapons suite on the Heimdall killsats
About Jarentil, we did give you good enough pointers, right? For Heimdall, how about "cannons powerful enough to one-shot the Cradle?" Anything less would require 2 or more sats to kill an equivalent target, and you can be sure the people who thought up the idea had it looming over their heads.
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Old 2009-10-10, 22:34   Link #16712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
I have a few suggestions:
1. Going the "family heirloom" route, Shining Hope could be an old-model design that didn't come with the self-repair feature. So it's more likely to encounter disabling damage.
Well, the general idea is that the Device belonged to someone else before Chris ultimately got his hands on it, so it's possible that Shining Hope is an older model that damages more easily and doesn't have a self-repair function.

Quote:
2. The Device has been left inactive since it was wrecked by its previous owner. Recall that it took the Wolkenritter to damage Raising Heart and Bardiche to the point that they need external support to fix themselves. The TSAB would have... questions for how Chris wrecked Shining Hope by himself, and how come he's still alive. Since it'll be going to a Bureau meister for repairs eventually,
Bureau attention will be cast on the incident eventually too. So, put some thought into this.
I'm sorry, I don't quite understand this... can you explain a little more?

Quote:
Intelligent Devices are extremely rare, despite being popularized by the Aces around this time. So it's not unreasonable that details about their creation and support aren't very well known.
Which is why I figured it would be a good idea for Miyuki to ask Nanoha, which would possibly alert the TSAB that someone's running around with an Intelligent Device that they aren't supposed to have.
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Old 2009-10-10, 23:05   Link #16713
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Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post

2. The Device has been left inactive since it was wrecked by its previous owner. Recall that it took the Wolkenritter to damage Raising Heart and Bardiche to the point that they need external support to fix themselves. The TSAB would have... questions for how Chris wrecked Shining Hope by himself, and how come he's still alive. Since it'll be going to a Bureau meister for repairs eventually, Bureau attention will be cast on the incident eventually too. So, put some thought into this.

About Jarentil, we did give you good enough pointers, right? For Heimdall, how about "cannons powerful enough to one-shot the Cradle?" Anything less would require 2 or more sats to kill an equivalent target, and you can be sure the people who thought up the idea had it looming over their heads.
About Jarentil, yeah. Basically, what it boiled down to was, "tweak the status of TSAB membership within the chapter so that I don't initiate a debate over how the TSAB operates politically in a late chapter of a fic that doesn't center around TSAB politics and which has no effect on the story of Jarentil anyway." Or in other words, don't let a throwaway reference in the backstory get people's backs up.

And ditto for Heimdall. It's just a matter of doing the rewriting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I'm sorry, I don't quite understand this... can you explain a little more?
JimmyC will have to correct me on this if I screw up, but:

Breaking an Intelligent Device to the point where it needs repair from an external source has been shown to be very difficult. Therefore one option would be--particularly if Chris doesn't actually use Shining Hope in combat--for him to have inherited her pre-broken. That way, the TSAB doesn't start looking at Chris and saying things like, "Just who are you and what were you doing that got this Intelligent Device so badly damaged?" He can answer that it wasn't he who broke it. Or he can lie about it and say the same thing even if he was doing something that broke it, depending of course if the repairing Meister can tell how recently the damage occurred (actually, that's a thought--if Mariel, say, repairs what she knows is recent damage but someone else takes Chris's story, is told that the device was pre-broken, files their report, and no one thinks to cross-check the two reports until later and they're Looking For Clues. Of course, it's only relevant if Chris is some kind of Suspicious Character.).
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Old 2009-10-10, 23:16   Link #16714
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Yes, Dezo, that's what I was thinking of.

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I'm sorry, I don't quite understand this... can you explain a little more?
To put it in Real World terms, that is attracting police attention on the scale of checking into a hospital with a gunshot wound.

The main way an I.D. can be broken to the point of being unable to repair itself is if it was hit by an extremely, and I mean extremely, powerful attack. Miyuki will pass Chris to Shari or Marie to do the repairs. They will note the severe damage to it and file a report with the Bureau. If it happened before Chris got ownership, fine.
If the damage was caused by something Chris did, then the Bureau will certainly want to know more. Was he casting spells so powerful, it broke his device badly? (recruitment candidate) Did he face an opponent powerful enough to break his device? (dangerous threat) And he managed to escape his attacker after his device was broken (again, recruitment candidate)

Quote:
Which is why I figured it would be a good idea for Miyuki to ask Nanoha, which would possibly alert the TSAB that someone's running around with an Intelligent Device that they aren't supposed to have.
Something like this. However, I.Ds are as rare as street-legal formula 1 racecars in our world. Rare, but not illegal for private citizens.
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Old 2009-10-11, 01:31   Link #16715
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gah i thought i was in the tech thread again x_x; how're the modern fics coming along? I see that stalhkonegin is stalled. That jail fic is stalled for HW right? I'm eager for more :P Hmm what else, I'm not reading vampire fate. I read rich girl nanoha a while back , so that's that. Hmm, alternatives is being worked hard on? Heard you had a killer beta on your side, Satashi :P Alright, so I guess t hat eaves me. I have a fic in the works that's eh to say the least, weird.

Here's to weird!
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Old 2009-10-11, 01:33   Link #16716
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Breaking an Intelligent Device to the point where it needs repair from an external source has been shown to be very difficult. Therefore one option would be--particularly if Chris doesn't actually use Shining Hope in combat--for him to have inherited her pre-broken. That way, the TSAB doesn't start looking at Chris and saying things like, "Just who are you and what were you doing that got this Intelligent Device so badly damaged?" He can answer that it wasn't he who broke it. Or he can lie about it and say the same thing even if he was doing something that broke it, depending of course if the repairing Meister can tell how recently the damage occurred (actually, that's a thought--if Mariel, say, repairs what she knows is recent damage but someone else takes Chris's story, is told that the device was pre-broken, files their report, and no one thinks to cross-check the two reports until later and they're Looking For Clues. Of course, it's only relevant if Chris is some kind of Suspicious Character.).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
Yes, Dezo, that's what I was thinking of.

To put it in Real World terms, that is attracting police attention on the scale of checking into a hospital with a gunshot wound.

The main way an I.D. can be broken to the point of being unable to repair itself is if it was hit by an extremely, and I mean extremely, powerful attack. Miyuki will pass Chris to Shari or Marie to do the repairs. They will note the severe damage to it and file a report with the Bureau. If it happened before Chris got ownership, fine.
If the damage was caused by something Chris did, then the Bureau will certainly want to know more. Was he casting spells so powerful, it broke his device badly? (recruitment candidate) Did he face an opponent powerful enough to break his device? (dangerous threat) And he managed to escape his attacker after his device was broken (again, recruitment candidate)
Okay, I get it now. Thank you for explaining it.

Quote:
Something like this. However, I.Ds are as rare as street-legal formula 1 racecars in our world. Rare, but not illegal for private citizens.
So... would that be enough to cause some suspicion?
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Old 2009-10-11, 01:34   Link #16717
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Perhaps if it wasn't classified as a lost logia, it'd be suspicious to a person whom notices it while on another mission.
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Old 2009-10-11, 01:37   Link #16718
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Perhaps if it wasn't classified as a lost logia, it'd be suspicious to a person whom notices it while on another mission.
I don't think Intelligent Devices are classified as Lost Logia.
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Old 2009-10-11, 02:21   Link #16719
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So... would that be enough to cause some suspicion?
Having an Intelligent Device would raise eyebrows, but it wouldn't be "suspicious" by itself. Having said Device damaged beyond its self-repair ability is what would set alarm bells ringing.
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Old 2009-10-11, 03:40   Link #16720
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Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora View Post
The thing is that the base mage (Hayate) is only using a Mid-style spell here (was it a Mid-style spell, to begin with? I always thought the rune was a Mid-style one because the bridge crew was helping her with directing the shots) but is still an Ancient Belka user and that doesn't change regardless of the type of magic she's casting =/. She may use a bit of Mid magic, but she's officially stated to be an Ancient Belka-style user, quite invaluable if I remember Chrono's (or was it Verossa's) statements in the manga. Rein is also a fully Ancient Belka device along with the Tome of the Night Sky and Schwertkreuz... We really need more information regarding stuff in the Nanohaverse...
Well, they did say in the fic that they had trouble working together because Teana uses Mid exclusively. In the end though, magic is magic, even if it works slightly different. If an Intelligent Device like Mach Calibur can support a Belka user like Subaru, I don't see why a Unison Device couldn't support a Mid using mage like Teana.

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Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Semi NSFW fic. I've done the "talk to Vivio about the birds and the bees" fic probably 4 times now, but I just love it so much XD This time I wanted to focus more on the parents and their realization that they have to confront their daughter about such an awkward subject. Dedicated to lilgumba :3

Spoiler for Reverse Psychology?:
Syn: Hah! You can lock me out of your house, but you can't lock me out of her heart!
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