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Old 2009-10-18, 21:54   Link #1961
Ledgem
Love Yourself
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
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Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinoto View Post
Honestly, If you think it is all looks. You are doing something way ****ing wrong. Normally the guys with good looks also develop something on the side called confidence...which leads to charm, good sense of humor, fun to be around, and all that jazz. The type of guy who can actually carry on a conversation with a lady without it being awkwardly painful.
I've found a fair bit to disagree with Shinoto's other posts, but he wrote my thoughts out here. How you carry yourself has a great impact on how others perceive you. You can be the hottest guy or girl on the planet, but if you aren't covering the basics - combing your hair, shaving (or at least keeping after hair that others might shave), wearing clothes that are clean and suit you - nobody will be able to see it. Even if you're covering those, the confidence factor still comes into play. Are you slouching? Is your behavior eccentric and confusing to others (in a manner that makes you unapproachable)? Even if you're initially attractive, unattractive behavior or personality will quickly cause people to take a negative opinion of you - and that will in turn influence how they view you physically.

Of course, how a person looks does have something to do with it. Some people are just naturally more attractive than others, and no amount of confidence, makeup, clothes, working out, or wonderful personality will change that. I do not believe that it represents the most important element, though. How you project yourself has much more to do with it.

And lastly, the grounder - you have to recognize that even if you perfect the art of being confident and projecting yourself well to others, not everyone will be attracted to you. It doesn't mean that you're ugly or a terrible person, it just means that one person did not find you attractive. Everyone has a different opinion... don't take it to mean more than it does.
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Old 2009-10-18, 23:17   Link #1962
Shinoto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeoXiao View Post
Hey, a guy who likes to have sex just for fun can be a shallow whore as well!
It's easy being easy!

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Old 2009-10-19, 02:09   Link #1963
Otaku Emperor
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But I don't think sex for fun would be as good as sex for actually loving the person.

Thats just me, I read too much romance, but I don't get the point of sex for fun, why do it with someone unless you really love them?
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Old 2009-10-19, 02:37   Link #1964
synaesthetic
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I would be pretty disappointed if sex with the person I loved wasn't fun.
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Old 2009-10-19, 03:22   Link #1965
Otaku Emperor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
I would be pretty disappointed if sex with the person I loved wasn't fun.
^ _ ^ Just stating my feelings.

I still object to people going on looks though. But I know I cannot change this.

I just don't see the big deal, it's such a minor thing.

Everyones human, everyones covered in skin, theres so little difference, it doesn't matter that much, if at all.

Thats why I go for personality, because I just don't see the big deal, and I'm sure theres some people who would agree with me, male or female.
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Old 2009-10-19, 03:29   Link #1966
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
I had to run that phrase through Google Translate.

I'll keep that phrase in mind for possible usage if and when I decide to propose to her.
It wasn't complete. This text will only give her the impression that you love her to the point of wanting to marry her. But it's not clear.

So, you'll have to add to it

"C'est pourquoi, je veux devenir ton mari. XXXXXX (<<< name of your GF), (that's when you will look at her in the eyes, she'll have to remember that look forever) veux-tu m'épouser" <<<<<<<<<<<< you better have a ring with you when you say that. But there are girls who don't really care if you have it or not. What's important are your feelings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusa-San View Post
Sadly it's not only in high school, it's the same in university too. There is a lot of girl who cares only about physical appearance. And it's the same girl who have sex just for fun >_>

However even if I say that, I think your physique is something you need to take care of. I think it's normal for a girl to like more a boy who is good looking.
While I am not part of the "let's have sex for fun without a very serious relationship" (i'll never do that, bleh)), they have the right to do it and there's no law that says "you are right, and they are wrong", hence we have to respect their choice (of course, they have to respect the other people who make different choices... And not all of them do it... but thta's another story)

And there are people in HS who have sincere feelings and try to build something serious, don't forget that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Miyuki-ism View Post
However this does not apply in high school.

Seriously, I have a lot of awesome friends who aren't the best looking but have an awesome personality like no other.
Yet the girls in my school seem to go after the good looking dumb ones. XD

But this is only senior high school, so it doesn't really matter.
You'll always find some girls who don't fit that. I did see girls dating boys that are not the best looking men ever, but as i said, it mainly happened when said boys had good qualities beside their look.

If the person is not good looking, (well, i guess it's easy to say, but not easy to do), instead of crying all days about it, they should try to develop something else that could be seen as attractive. And build a bit of confidence (even if some girls like shy boys too, but as I discussed it with Ledgem, at least the confidence to, for example, confess). And as I said ealier, to take care of their body. No need to be brad pitt to do some sport.

But anyway, I'll also add that not all the girls date boys in highschool (i didn't)

Last edited by Narona; 2009-10-19 at 03:47.
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Old 2009-10-19, 03:50   Link #1967
Ascaloth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
It wasn't complete. This text will only give her the impression that you love her to the point of wanting to marry her. But it's not clear.

So, you'll have to add to it

"C'est pourquoi, je veux devenir ton mari. XXXXXX (<<< name of your GF), (that's when you will look at her in the eyes, she'll have to remember that look forever) veux-tu m'épouser" <<<<<<<<<<<< you better have a ring with you when you say that. But there are girls who don't really care if you have it or not. What's important are your feelings.
......

*saves away in the "Quotable Quotes for the Future" archive*
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Old 2009-10-19, 03:55   Link #1968
SaintessHeart
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Spoiler for OT:


Although I would like to believe that Singaporean females are not like that, what I have ACTUALLY experienced is making me look like some self-deluded fool. Consequently, despite hanging out with them back in school, some of my male friends commented during our guy outings that these girls are so backstabbing and materialistic, constantly shopping for clothes and criticising other girls during almost every outing or hanging out after school. DOTA and Warcraft matches have become a common excuse not to go watch movies with them because we just couldn't stand them.

IMO, I feel that it is pragmatism misinterpreted from the female's perspective. Here, working hard is espoused as the only road to success (bull, luck and streetsmart plays a part too), hence it is often summarised that chasing after the paper is that down-to-earth method. Subsequently, the paper evolved not only to educational accreditation, but also the paper currency : money. What the females feel about intimate relationships is giving herself to the guy, and thus what she wants is security, especially in the financial area because of the incredible power of money.

Consequently, the general society are spoiling them. Due to the fact that all guys here have to go through National Service, the "get that job done and over with" mentality is locked into their heads, thus their general ignorance towards what is taken from them. Coupled with the sheltered life these girls have, it eventually leads to a "take more than give" subconscious that when provoked, could lead to serious consequences. So while a "f*** you" could generate a "my mouth or my back?" from a male, the word "b*t**" said to a female can lead to altercations lasting months.

Ultimately, the fast paced and high stress education system removed an important element in the females, character. Many I have seen are just mild salt, sugar, pepper or flour, the taste isn't even there. The guys are not that bad, their real characters flourish in National Service (I know of a quiet Nagato-type otaku becoming an officer cadet), but the females just live as they are for quite a long time. Character building and accepting other characters is very important in relationships, any side lacking in it could put slack in the ties that bind.

Despite having said all that, I will keep holding the doors open for them and listen in during their politicising talk, and occasionally let the word "b*t**" slip when they go too far. I don't like to be proven wrong, and I don't intend to be proven wrong about my belief that this is the epitome of the modern female.

@ Narona :
Do girls really like those kind of long boring phrases? I wonder if (pardon me, I just picked this out of a French dict with some help from BBF) :

vous êtes la chose la plus mignonne que j'ai jamais placé mes yeux dessus

works.
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Old 2009-10-19, 04:18   Link #1969
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
@ Narona :
Do girls really like those kind of long boring phrases? .
I don't know all the girls in France, i can only talk about the girls I know, and the cases I know, but a girl who is really in love will most likely like to hear that from her lover. (actually, you can even find something even more cheesy you know).

I don't see many girls wanting to hear "Hey ma cocotte, tu es aussi bonne que la dernière bière belge et j'ai autant envie de me marier avec toi que d'aller voir le match de foot Real de Madrid VS Milan AC!" instead

No, just no...

Quote:
I wonder if (pardon me, I just picked this out of a French dict with some help from BBF) :

vous êtes la chose la plus mignonne que j'ai jamais placé mes yeux dessus

works
Correction: "Vous/tu ("Vous" if you just met the girl, "tu" if you already know her or if she's already your GF) êtes/es la fille/femme/personne (don't use "chose", it means "a thing", and a girl would not like to hear hat she's just "thing" , use "personne" (person) or "girl" or "woman" instead) la plus belle/mignonne que j'ai rencontrée (you can also replace it by (more romantic) "qui ait croisé mon regard".)

That depends if you use it as a sentence to try to pick up a girl, or if you say that to your girlfriend. I'd say it can work as a "pick up" sentence, but not all the time (depends on the girl's character), and works better if you alreday know the girl (that's a good sentence before adding "j'aimerais sortir avec toi" (i'd like to date you)) edit: forgot to add, and it has to be sincere from you, always be careful about what you say

Can work if the girl is your GF.

Last edited by Narona; 2009-10-19 at 04:41.
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Old 2009-10-19, 04:21   Link #1970
Otaku Emperor
Love Conquers All!
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Age: 19
Question?

It seems more guys ask advice on girls then girls ask on guys.

Why is that so? I would expect it to be equal.
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Old 2009-10-19, 04:36   Link #1971
LusterFlare
Lost.
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
qui ait croisé mon regard
Oh no, it's the subjunctive, run! Reminds me of high school French class xD. Nolstagia <3.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor View Post
Question?

It seems more guys ask advice on girls then girls ask on guys.

Why is that so? I would expect it to be equal.
If you're referring to this topic, my guess is that there are more guys than girls on this forum. Though there may be a more sophisticated reason about the psychology of guys vs girls on this topic. Perhaps it's because men are potatoes; they're clueless unless directed.
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Old 2009-10-19, 04:48   Link #1972
Otaku Emperor
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Age: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by LusterFlare View Post
Oh no, it's the subjunctive, run! Reminds me of high school French class xD. Nolstagia <3.

If you're referring to this topic, my guess is that there are more guys than girls on this forum. Though there may be a more sophisticated reason about the psychology of guys vs girls on this topic. Perhaps it's because men are potatoes; they're clueless unless directed.
For every 3 guys there is around 1 girl.

So not that much difference.

But it would be nice to hear some girls questions about guys for a change (not that I'm saying the guys questions are bad, I just mean it would be a bit of a change for once)
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Old 2009-10-19, 05:17   Link #1973
cheyannew
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern VA
I hate to be blunt, but I will...

In my experience, the reason females don't as for dating advice as much as males do is simple:

We don't have to.

We can go to a man in a club, bar, room, whatever, bat our eyelashes and take him home if we want. Not always, and that's a very broad generalization. I would never walk up to a stranger in a bar or whatever, but I know that I CAN if I ever choose to.

But if a male were to try to do the same thing, he's a pig, or whatever and will probably get slapped in the face.

I'm not saying it's right, but that's just how it is. Females get to pick and choose, males are busy trying to compete with one another to catch the eye of the females; it's animal nature, and humans are after all, animals.
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Old 2009-10-19, 05:35   Link #1974
Kusa-San
I'll end it before April.
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinoto View Post

"And it's the same girl who have sex just for fun >_> "
You know, it's possible for girls to enjoy sex also. Just like a guy. You're making it sound like they are some shallow whore >_>
No I have nothing againste a girl who enjoy sex. What I was trying to say is that I don't like girl who have sex for fun with a random guy she doesn't know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona

While I am not part of the "let's have sex for fun without a very serious relationship" (i'll never do that, bleh)), they have the right to do it and there's no law that says "you are right, and they are wrong", hence we have to respect their choice (of course, they have to respect the other people who make different choices... And not all of them do it... but thta's another story)

And there are people in HS who have sincere feelings and try to build something serious, don't forget that.
And ? Why are you saying that to me ?

Quote:


I don't see many girls wanting to hear "Hey ma cocotte, tu es aussi bonne que la dernière bière belge et j'ai autant envie de me marier avec toi que d'aller voir le match de foot Real de Madrid VS Milan AC!" instead
Rofl

"Cherie, tu es aussi belle qu'un big mac, aussi savoureuse qu'un steak haché et aussi pur qu'un Mac Fleury, tu es le big mac de ma vie. Epouse moi ! "

A true lover sentence
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Old 2009-10-19, 05:43   Link #1975
cheyannew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusa-San View Post
No I have nothing againste a girl who enjoy sex. What I was trying to say is that I don't like girl who have sex for fun with a random guy she doesn't know.

In this day and age, people who have sex with total strangers (random guy/girl from a bar etc) are taking their own life into their hands, and I point blank would not be intimate with someone who practices that lifestyle without a LOT of testing beforehand, and an assurance that, once with me, those days are over.

I have had sexual relationships with people I didn't plan on being with, but we're talking casual dating for a few weeks, keeping one another company etc, not going to a bar or club and playing eeny meeny miney mo for whose STDs I want to catch that night.

blech LOL

BUT while I may disapprove on the basis of health reasons (frankly I could care less if people want 50 friends with benefits relationships, it doesn't affect me), people are free to be with who they please.

*I* just won't touch them, and that's because I treasure my health. My girlfriend and her husband have known me for... oh gods, 15+ years, when I met him, we lived together for a year and split. Her? I've known over 6 years, and know where they've both been. Safe sex is still practiced, because we're not spending the rest of our lives together.

My husband and I obviously do not have such issues, as we will be together till one of us kicks the bucket.
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Old 2009-10-19, 05:47   Link #1976
synaesthetic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor View Post
^ _ ^ Just stating my feelings.

I still object to people going on looks though. But I know I cannot change this.

I just don't see the big deal, it's such a minor thing.

Everyones human, everyones covered in skin, theres so little difference, it doesn't matter that much, if at all.

Thats why I go for personality, because I just don't see the big deal, and I'm sure theres some people who would agree with me, male or female.
Personality and intellect count for a lot.

My interest is piqued by the body, but it's held by the mind.

I make it a policy to always date women who are smarter than I am--it helps keep me out of trouble, you see, and plus smart people are far more interesting.

Now I'll freely admit that if a girl is really hideous, I'm probably not going to want to tumble between the sheets with her. I'm definitely self-aware enough to know that there's a limit to what I can tolerate physically. When it comes to looks, I'm pretty forgiving if there's a sharp mind behind those eyes. But everyone has their limits.

If you think that's shallow, that's your issue, not mine. Personal preferences are personal preferences, and everyone has them.

Would you think it's shallow that I dislike ketchup? ^^;
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Old 2009-10-19, 05:56   Link #1977
cheyannew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Personality and intellect count for a lot.

My interest is piqued by the body, but it's held by the mind.

I make it a policy to always date women who are smarter than I am--it helps keep me out of trouble, you see, and plus smart people are far more interesting.

Now I'll freely admit that if a girl is really hideous, I'm probably not going to want to tumble between the sheets with her. I'm definitely self-aware enough to know that there's a limit to what I can tolerate physically. When it comes to looks, I'm pretty forgiving if there's a sharp mind behind those eyes. But everyone has their limits.

If you think that's shallow, that's your issue, not mine. Personal preferences are personal preferences, and everyone has them.

Would you think it's shallow that I dislike ketchup? ^^;
I fully admit to being shallow enough to notice looks.

My husband and I didn't meet and go "Well, I suspect that is a right intelligent witty person!" and then decide to start dating LOL

We looked at one another and went "rawr" (more or less) and decided to get to know one another better, which led to "dating" such as it was, moving in together and exchanging vows (I honestly didn't date him much, we met in Oct, moved in together in Nov and exchanged vows in dec of 96, but that worked for us)

I have to agree with synaesthetic, while I won't STAY with someone who's just not up to par/at my level, I also wouldn't likely take the time to really get to know them unless there was something that initially piqued my interest, whether it's someone's eyes, their body, whatever.
I have "dated" people whose looks caught my eye only to find out they're complete numbskulls, or whatever, and broke that off as gently as possible.
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Old 2009-10-19, 06:04   Link #1978
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
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Join Date: May 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
I hate to be blunt, but I will...

In my experience, the reason females don't as for dating advice as much as males do is simple:

We don't have to.

We can go to a man in a club, bar, room, whatever, bat our eyelashes and take him home if we want. Not always, and that's a very broad generalization. I would never walk up to a stranger in a bar or whatever, but I know that I CAN if I ever choose to.

But if a male were to try to do the same thing, he's a pig, or whatever and will probably get slapped in the face.

I'm not saying it's right, but that's just how it is. Females get to pick and choose, males are busy trying to compete with one another to catch the eye of the females; it's animal nature, and humans are after all, animals.
If a girl doesn't wanna use her brain, then sure. Bat a few eyelashes and you peeps kinda follow, lol.
Animals if we let ourselves submit to base instincts, but we are more than our fellow living beings in the wild, give the species a little credit
Quote:
Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor View Post
Question?

It seems more guys ask advice on girls then girls ask on guys.

Why is that so? I would expect it to be equal.
Nah, most of my questions to guys go to the guys in my IRC channel with people I hang out with almost everyday, so it's just location for me. I'm also blessed to have some really good close male friends, so they're my 'mentors' so to speak on matters with dating, sex, male mentality and so on.
They're also awesome to flirt with and exchange in witty banter, lol.
So for a few girls, they probably already have sources outside of this website and here is heavily moderated too.
We like to chat, so mediums such as Skype or IMs work better ^^

That and the ratio here gender wise heavilly falls onto men, especially in the GC forum, so no, never gonna really get a balance.
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Old 2009-10-19, 06:10   Link #1979
Shiemi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
Nah, most of my questions to guys go to the guys in my IRC channel with people I hang out with almost everyday, so it's just location for me. I'm also blessed to have some really good close male friends, so they're my 'mentors' so to speak on matters with dating, sex, male mentality and so on.
They're also awesome to flirt with and exchange in witty banter, lol.
So for a few girls, they probably already have sources outside of this website and here is heavily moderated too.
We like to chat, so mediums such as Skype or IMs work better ^^

That and the ratio here gender wise heavilly falls onto men, especially in the GC forum, so no, never gonna really get a balance.
Adding to this and to what cheyannew mentioned also, I've read before (can't bring out sources though, so gomen!) that usually females are more able to share their issues with close friends, whether female or male. Guys, even among friends, like to hang and all, but don't go into issues. It looks to me that guys feel more at ease asking for advice in a forum, where they know that no one will know who they really are... or something like that.

In my case, I mostly ask advice from close friends and if I feel that someone here might provide me with good advice due to the insights of his/her posts, I PM the person about my issue.
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Old 2009-10-19, 06:15   Link #1980
synaesthetic
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Free advice is one of the greatest benefits of having friends! You guys really need to learn to ask your friends for help and advice, because professionals usually charge by the hour, you know. ^^;
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