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Old 2009-10-19, 06:26   Link #1981
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
In this day and age, people who have sex with total strangers (random guy/girl from a bar etc) are taking their own life into their hands, and I point blank would not be intimate with someone who practices that lifestyle without a LOT of testing beforehand, and an assurance that, once with me, those days are over.

I have had sexual relationships with people I didn't plan on being with, but we're talking casual dating for a few weeks, keeping one another company etc, not going to a bar or club and playing eeny meeny miney mo for whose STDs I want to catch that night.

blech LOL

BUT while I may disapprove on the basis of health reasons (frankly I could care less if people want 50 friends with benefits relationships, it doesn't affect me), people are free to be with who they please.

*I* just won't touch them, and that's because I treasure my health.
Besides my principles and morals pov, that's one the main issues for me. I treasure my health.

And that's also one of my main issues against people who are unfaithful.

Reports about men/women who were unfaithful, got an STD without knowing it, then infect their wife/husband just digust me. It's just horrible from my point of view. Besides the betrayal, to jeopardize the life of a person you claim to love is just horrible.

That leads me to talk about girls who say "I don't consider that I am unfaithful, because i stay faithful to myself". And I reply "but what about your lover ("main" BF)? He trusts you and all. It's ok for you to say "i stay faithful to "myself", but you still betray somebody who trust you and love you. So you only think about yourself.

I see no problem in seeing men/women who date another man/woman IF their BF/GF/husband/Wife is aware of it because they told him/her, and is ok with it. But not when people try to hide the fact that they only think about themselves and betray people as if it was not wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusa-San View Post
And ? Why are you saying that to me ?
I Just added what you didn't. Because not everyone from here talks to you on MSN, and some people might think that beside the disagreement, you show no respect towards the choices of those people. Which would be false.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi View Post
Adding to this and to what cheyannew mentioned also, I've read before (can't bring out sources though, so gomen!) that usually females are more able to share their issues with close friends, whether female or male. Guys, even among friends, like to hang and all, but don't go into issues. It looks to me that guys feel more at ease asking for advice in a forum, where they know that no one will know who they really are... or something like that.

In my case, I mostly ask advice from close friends and if I feel that someone here might provide me with good advice due to the insights of his/her posts, I PM the person about my issue.
I might be one of very rare persons who do that, but when I want to ask something about men, I ask my father

So, yeah, other sources :x

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
......

*saves away in the "Quotable Quotes for the Future" archive*
cute.
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Old 2009-10-19, 07:16   Link #1982
cheyannew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Besides my principles and morals pov, that's one the main issues for me. I treasure my health.
And that's also one of my main issues against people who are unfaithful.
Reports about men/women who were unfaithful, got an STD without knowing it, then infect their wife/husband just digust me. It's just horrible from my point of view. Besides the betrayal, to jeopardize the life of a person you claim to love is just horrible.
That leads me to talk about girls who say "I don't consider that I am unfaithful, because i stay faithful to myself". And I reply "but what about your lover ("main" BF)? He trusts you and all. It's ok for you to say "i stay faithful to "myself", but you still betray somebody who trust you and love you. So you only think about yourself.
I see no problem in seeing men/women who date another man/woman IF their BF/GF/husband/Wife is aware of it because they told him/her, and is ok with it. But not when people try to hide the fact that they only think about themselves and betray people as if it was not wrong.
I Just added what you didn't. Because not everyone from here talks to you on MSN, and some people might think that beside the disagreement, you show no respect towards the choices of those people. Which would be false.
I might be one of very rare persons who do that, but when I want to ask something about men, I ask my father
So, yeah, other sources :x
cute.
Being poly, I find I cannot accept the very idea of cheating/being unfaithful. My entire relationship(s) is based on communication at every level, and if you can't communicate with your mate on a base level (hey, x y or z person is appealing to me, how do you feel about this), you ought not be in the relationship, IMO

There was a... female.. to be kind, at my old job, who decided she didn't want to be with her husband anymore.
Later, she told her/my boss and I that he had given her herpes. Well, Long story short, her hubby tested negative for it, as did the guy she cheated on her hubby with. So, it must've been the guy she cheated on the guy she cheated on her hubby with (yes, you read that right, her hubby and her weren't legally separated and she was sleeping w/ someone then decided she didn't want to be w/ them and started sleeping with someone ELSE before breaking it off fully).

I still call that poetic justice and snicker to this day. I think her nickname of Herpesaurus Rex still gets said, even a year after the fact. Why anyone would be that disgusting and careless, I don't know... But there you have it...
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Old 2009-10-19, 08:27   Link #1983
Ascaloth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
@ Narona :
Do girls really like those kind of long boring phrases? I wonder if (pardon me, I just picked this out of a French dict with some help from BBF) :

vous êtes la chose la plus mignonne que j'ai jamais placé mes yeux dessus

works.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
I don't see many girls wanting to hear "Hey ma cocotte, tu es aussi bonne que la dernière bière belge et j'ai autant envie de me marier avec toi que d'aller voir le match de foot Real de Madrid VS Milan AC!" instead

Correction: "Vous/tu ("Vous" if you just met the girl, "tu" if you already know her or if she's already your GF) êtes/es la fille/femme/personne (don't use "chose", it means "a thing", and a girl would not like to hear hat she's just "thing" , use "personne" (person) or "girl" or "woman" instead) la plus belle/mignonne que j'ai rencontrée (you can also replace it by (more romantic) "qui ait croisé mon regard".)

That depends if you use it as a sentence to try to pick up a girl, or if you say that to your girlfriend. I'd say it can work as a "pick up" sentence, but not all the time (depends on the girl's character), and works better if you alreday know the girl (that's a good sentence before adding "j'aimerais sortir avec toi" (i'd like to date you)) edit: forgot to add, and it has to be sincere from you, always be careful about what you say

Can work if the girl is your GF.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusa-San View Post
"Cherie, tu es aussi belle qu'un big mac, aussi savoureuse qu'un steak haché et aussi pur qu'un Mac Fleury, tu es le big mac de ma vie. Epouse moi ! "

A true lover sentence
Oh non, le langage de l'amour prend le pas sur le forum!

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Old 2009-10-19, 09:34   Link #1984
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Oh non, le langage de l'amour prend le pas sur le forum!

I don't really understand why so many people see French as the Love language XD. Love can be expressed in any language ^o^

And what Kusa said above is just horrible , people, never say that to a girl XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
Being poly, I find I cannot accept the very idea of cheating/being unfaithful. My entire relationship(s) is based on communication at every level, and if you can't communicate with your mate on a base level (hey, x y or z person is appealing to me, how do you feel about this), you ought not be in the relationship, IMO

There was a... female.. to be kind, at my old job, who decided she didn't want to be with her husband anymore.
Later, she told her/my boss and I that he had given her herpes. Well, Long story short, her hubby tested negative for it, as did the guy she cheated on her hubby with. So, it must've been the guy she cheated on the guy she cheated on her hubby with (yes, you read that right, her hubby and her weren't legally separated and she was sleeping w/ someone then decided she didn't want to be w/ them and started sleeping with someone ELSE before breaking it off fully).

I still call that poetic justice and snicker to this day. I think her nickname of Herpesaurus Rex still gets said, even a year after the fact. Why anyone would be that disgusting and careless, I don't know... But there you have it...
(nothing else to add ^^ )

Last edited by Narona; 2009-10-19 at 09:46.
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Old 2009-10-19, 09:55   Link #1985
Tsuyoshi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Oh non, le langage de l'amour prend le pas sur le forum!



Il problema sta nel fatto che è la mia lingua quella dell'amore (the problem lies in the fact that my language is the one of love)

and I should also mention this is an english speaking forum

Having said that

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
Being poly, I find I cannot accept the very idea of cheating/being unfaithful. My entire relationship(s) is based on communication at every level, and if you can't communicate with your mate on a base level (hey, x y or z person is appealing to me, how do you feel about this), you ought not be in the relationship, IMO

There was a... female.. to be kind, at my old job, who decided she didn't want to be with her husband anymore.
Later, she told her/my boss and I that he had given her herpes. Well, Long story short, her hubby tested negative for it, as did the guy she cheated on her hubby with. So, it must've been the guy she cheated on the guy she cheated on her hubby with (yes, you read that right, her hubby and her weren't legally separated and she was sleeping w/ someone then decided she didn't want to be w/ them and started sleeping with someone ELSE before breaking it off fully).

I still call that poetic justice and snicker to this day. I think her nickname of Herpesaurus Rex still gets said, even a year after the fact. Why anyone would be that disgusting and careless, I don't know... But there you have it...
Superb. This is the reason you shouldn't cheat on someone, and why you should use protection on a date at all times. Safety is not guaranteed.
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Old 2009-10-19, 12:16   Link #1986
Dextro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
I don't really understand why so many people see French as the Love language XD. Love can be expressed in any language ^o^

And what Kusa said above is just horrible , people, never say that to a girl XD
I tend to think french is a very good language to swear and curse. It makes even the most insulting sentence sound "nice"

About the whole girls vs boys thing in this thread: I think males are more likely to trust what amounts to strangers in a forum thread than women are. I believe that most women are able to have stronger bounds with friends and hence use those friends for advice than most males will but that's just my completely unscientific opinion there.
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Old 2009-10-19, 12:47   Link #1987
Kusa-San
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Originally Posted by cheyannew View Post
In this day and age, people who have sex with total strangers (random guy/girl from a bar etc) are taking their own life into their hands, and I point blank would not be intimate with someone who practices that lifestyle without a LOT of testing beforehand, and an assurance that, once with me, those days are over.
Yep I totally agree with you. It's really dangerous and personnaly I totally disapprove this kind of sex. But it's only my view of course and people are free to do what they want. I just don't like this kind of people that's all.

I don't like people who date other people just for fun or just go out on a date for sex. In my family, as I said many time, we're not like that at all. My parent are together since high-school and my sister have had only two boyfriend in their life. And for me it's something normal. I mean when you're going out with someone, it means that you love her and that you try to build a serious relationship. And nowaday, I think that's less and less the case >_>

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona
I don't really understand why so many people see French as the Love language XD. Love can be expressed in any language ^o^
Because everyone know that french people are romantic *take away his rose from his mouth* *run away*

Quote:
And what Kusa said above is just horrible , people, never say that to a girl XD
Not true . If the girl love Mac Donald, it will works ! .....

And more serioulsy, If you want a beautiful french song about love :

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Last edited by Kusa-San; 2009-10-19 at 12:58.
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Old 2009-10-19, 12:53   Link #1988
synaesthetic
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Everyone knows l33tspeak is the true language of love!
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Old 2009-10-19, 13:10   Link #1989
RadiantBeam
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Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Everyone knows l33tspeak is the true language of love!
Quoted for truth and win.
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Old 2009-10-19, 13:19   Link #1990
cheyannew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kusa-San View Post
I don't like people who date other people just for fun or just go out on a date for sex. In my family, as I said many time, we're not like that at all. My parent are together since high-school and my sister have had only two boyfriend in their life. And for me it's something normal. I mean when you're going out with someone, it means that you love her and that you try to build a serious relationship. And nowaday, I think that's less and less the case >_>
Oh it's not been the case for a very long time; I've had...maybe a dozen partners, obviously not as many serious relationships (meaning many months or more), but as I was "test driving before I bought" so to speak, I learned a great deal about what I did and did not want in my lifemate.

I have, in the past been called promiscuous, when in fact, I can name every person I have ever been with, when, and so on, and if you think about it, in over 20 years, that's not THAT many (seriously it's less than a dozen, and I've been w/ my hubby for nearly 13 years now, with only 2 partners outside of my marriage, one of which was my ex so he didn't count twice, so that's 3 people in 13 years).

Sex has transitioned from an all but marital act (there were many cultures who felt if you had sex you were married), to an almost purely physical one. That makes finding "the one" a lot harder, IMO. That may differ from culture to culture, I can't speak for anywhere but where I have grown up for 30+ years, and here, dating's just a kind of trial thing; MOST relationships that begin as dating do NOT continue much past the dating part (which generally does involve sex). Then again sadly most marriages, engagements, etc don't last that long either. Sad state of affairs.

I suspect, though, that the future generations will actually reclaim the "old ways"; as awareness about STDs, divorce rates, etc rise, I believe the young will go "wow, don't want that" and begin to look at dating as a more long term thing, not something to jump into, and so on.

I can hope, at least, as I've no desire to be a grandmother yet
A decade from now, fine, but not YET.
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Old 2009-10-19, 17:07   Link #1991
Shiemi
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Since at least one guy has mentioned that he doesn't see many dating questions from females, I am bringing one, even though I have to admit I feel a bit silly asking it. And I'm not even sure if it's a proper dating question, but here goes.

My best friend is teaching me how to knit and she insists that guys love hand knitted stuff, like a scarf for example? Of course she watches a lot of anime (probably more than I do ) So... err... Is this true? Is a hand knit... scarf... a nice gift when in a relationship? Of course, in the case of living somewhere where winter exists.
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Old 2009-10-19, 18:12   Link #1992
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi View Post
My best friend is teaching me how to knit and she insists that guys love hand knitted stuff, like a scarf for example? Of course she watches a lot of anime (probably more than I do ) So... err... Is this true? Is a hand knit... scarf... a nice gift when in a relationship? Of course, in the case of living somewhere where winter exists.
I never actually did that for my ex-boyfriend when we were dating, but my mom still does it from time to time for my dad when she has time to spare, and he always loves it. ^^ I think they enjoy knowing that you put so much care and effort into creating something like that for them. It makes them feel loved and special.
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Old 2009-10-19, 20:18   Link #1993
UltimaWolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi View Post
My best friend is teaching me how to knit and she insists that guys love hand knitted stuff, like a scarf for example? Of course she watches a lot of anime (probably more than I do ) So... err... Is this true? Is a hand knit... scarf... a nice gift when in a relationship? Of course, in the case of living somewhere where winter exists.
I don't know about most other guys, but me personally, I would love somthing like that. Though I am a pretty sentimental guy. But like RadiantBeam said, it would show she really cares and make me feel special.


So...I think I lost my girlfriend or atleast for awhile.
Somthing happened a few months ago that really, really upset her, and broke her trust towards me for awhile. I thought she kinda got over it, since we have been still together since then, and happy for the most part. But today she said she needed to tell me somthing after her class, and she told me that it still upsets her, that she can't stop thinking about it, and when she does think about it, she feels like she pushes me further and further away from her, and she doesn't want that cause she does want to be with me. She thinks the problem is, is that she forgave me too soon before she was ready too(The next night). So she said she doesn't think she can be with me till she gets over this and it stops hurting her so much...

Not really sure what I'm asking. I guess I'm wondering if I should try not to talk to her as much until she gets over it? I'm pretty mopy and sad, so I don't want to upset her any more than I have too by talking to her when she's trying to get over this...I just don't know what to do. She's been the one texting me, asking if I'm ok, which I'm not but still...I just don't know what to do or think.
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Old 2009-10-19, 20:39   Link #1994
Dextro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi View Post
Since at least one guy has mentioned that he doesn't see many dating questions from females, I am bringing one, even though I have to admit I feel a bit silly asking it. And I'm not even sure if it's a proper dating question, but here goes.

My best friend is teaching me how to knit and she insists that guys love hand knitted stuff, like a scarf for example? Of course she watches a lot of anime (probably more than I do ) So... err... Is this true? Is a hand knit... scarf... a nice gift when in a relationship? Of course, in the case of living somewhere where winter exists.
Well, I'm a guy and wouldn't bee too thrilled to receive that sort of stuff but that's just me. I mean I wouldn't not like it, I would probably even enjoy the gesture, but the gift itself would probably end up lost at the bottom of the closet and I would probably end up hurting the girl who gave it to me because I wouldn't be thrilled about receiving it. (As you can guess it I've been there :P )

So I think the answer would have to be no, guys don't generally fancy receiving such gifts but that's just my opinion so wait for some other responses to get the complete answer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post
So...I think I lost my girlfriend or atleast for awhile.
Somthing happened a few months ago that really, really upset her, and broke her trust towards me for awhile. I thought she kinda got over it, since we have been still together since then, and happy for the most part. But today she said she needed to tell me somthing after her class, and she told me that it still upsets her, that she can't stop thinking about it, and when she does think about it, she feels like she pushes me further and further away from her, and she doesn't want that cause she does want to be with me. She thinks the problem is, is that she forgave me too soon before she was ready too(The next night). So she said she doesn't think she can be with me till she gets over this and it stops hurting her so much...

Not really sure what I'm asking. I guess I'm wondering if I should try not to talk to her as much until she gets over it? I'm pretty mopy and sad, so I don't want to upset her any more than I have too by talking to her when she's trying to get over this...I just don't know what to do. She's been the one texting me, asking if I'm ok, which I'm not but still...I just don't know what to do or think.
I can't really help you there cause I've been there at least twice now and I never did handle those situations correctly and I believe both ended up costing me the relationship eventually (but maybe that was me overthinking things). I just wanted to add that here cause I've been learning a lot in the thread and I feel like I can relate to your situation.
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Old 2009-10-19, 20:41   Link #1995
UltimaWolf
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Originally Posted by Dextro View Post
I can't really help you there cause I've been there at least twice now and I never did handle those situations correctly and I believe both ended up costing me the relationship eventually (but maybe that was me overthinking things). I just wanted to add that here cause I've been learning a lot in the thread and I feel like I can relate to your situation.
What did you do that you think made it worse? Thats what I'm trying to avoid
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Old 2009-10-19, 20:44   Link #1996
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post
Not really sure what I'm asking. I guess I'm wondering if I should try not to talk to her as much until she gets over it? I'm pretty mopy and sad, so I don't want to upset her any more than I have too by talking to her when she's trying to get over this...I just don't know what to do. She's been the one texting me, asking if I'm ok, which I'm not but still...I just don't know what to do or think.
I think right now the best thing you can do is give her space. ^^;; For all intents and purposes she still seems to care about you, even if she hasn't completely forgiven you for what you did wrong, and she just wants to sort herself out. Just be patient and give her some time.
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Old 2009-10-19, 20:45   Link #1997
Splitpersonality
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Quote:
My best friend is teaching me how to knit and she insists that guys love hand knitted stuff, like a scarf for example? Of course she watches a lot of anime (probably more than I do ) So... err... Is this true? Is a hand knit... scarf... a nice gift when in a relationship? Of course, in the case of living somewhere where winter exists.
I would love a hand-knit scarf, I find knitting to be fun, I wish I could do it though :/

A nice hand-knit hat would be great too, I love winter hats


So apparently now a third girl likes me, or so I'm told by close sources, but I don't really like her, at all.

Besides being a machine of a dancer in my dance company, that's all that's up in my life :P
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Old 2009-10-19, 20:55   Link #1998
killer911
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Alright, today I invited a girl to come with me to an amusement park. Would this count as a date? I dont want it to seem like a date, I just wanna be friends.
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Old 2009-10-19, 21:25   Link #1999
Ledgem
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Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Consequently, the general society are spoiling them. Due to the fact that all guys here have to go through National Service, the "get that job done and over with" mentality is locked into their heads, thus their general ignorance towards what is taken from them. Coupled with the sheltered life these girls have, it eventually leads to a "take more than give" subconscious that when provoked, could lead to serious consequences. So while a "f*** you" could generate a "my mouth or my back?" from a male, the word "b*t**" said to a female can lead to altercations lasting months.

Ultimately, the fast paced and high stress education system removed an important element in the females, character. Many I have seen are just mild salt, sugar, pepper or flour, the taste isn't even there. The guys are not that bad, their real characters flourish in National Service (I know of a quiet Nagato-type otaku becoming an officer cadet), but the females just live as they are for quite a long time. Character building and accepting other characters is very important in relationships, any side lacking in it could put slack in the ties that bind
I can't comment on Singaporean girls, as I've never been to Singapore nor have I met a Singaporean girl (that I know of). I will caution you about what you just wrote, however. It came off as elitist. People tend to exalt themselves over others whom they feel have not undergone the same trying circumstances that they have. For certain national service is an experience, but it almost sounds like you're looking down on those who don't have to go through it.

Furthermore, this and the other post you've written makes you sound like a misogynist (woman hater). You've been rejected ten times and so you gave up; you find the girls so annoying; you're generalizing about all Singaporean girls. I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong about the Singaporean girls because I have zero experience with them - you could very well be right. But as small as Singapore is, that's a lot of girls to be generalizing over.

This is not an attempt to scold you or pass judgment. Rather, this is feedback for you. I don't imagine that you want to hold contempt for womankind or become a military snob, yet perhaps without realizing it, that's where you might be headed. (Or perhaps not; two posts alone don't reveal your subconscious.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor View Post
Question?

It seems more guys ask advice on girls then girls ask on guys.

Why is that so? I would expect it to be equal.
Shiemi largely answered it, but I'd wager that there's another aspect to it - male expectations. I'm generalizing here (and of course, not everyone matches with generalizations) but girls will generally talk about "the things that matter" when it comes to relationships. Guys shy away from that - if anything, the conversations I've heard have more to do with how to get a girl to sleep with you, getting to a ladyfriend's hot friend... superficial tactics that generally make guys seem like pigs.

Or, suppose you have a group of friends who aren't all about sleeping a girl. If your friends were like mine, nobody had prior dating experience, despite being nice guys. That aside, I just can't imagine going over dating tactics with them without taking a ton of jokes made at my expense in the process (or feeling like I was exposing more of my personal life than I'd care to). The internet offers anonymity and it offers you a big mix of people, so it's a safe place to ask around.

I wouldn't be surprised to find forums that are frequented by females asking for such advice, though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi View Post
My best friend is teaching me how to knit and she insists that guys love hand knitted stuff, like a scarf for example? Of course she watches a lot of anime (probably more than I do ) So... err... Is this true? Is a hand knit... scarf... a nice gift when in a relationship? Of course, in the case of living somewhere where winter exists.
I think what the object is matters less, the point of such a gift is that it's hand-made, a lot of time and effort went into it. We're also living in a time where items that aren't purchased and/or professionally done are becoming increasingly rare (at least, in this part of the world) - to receive something from someone, especially knowing that it took more than a few minutes of their time, is big.

Of course, not everyone will appreciate it. Some people don't really consider that a lot of time and effort went into crafting the item that they just received, and they just think more about whether it suits them and whether they can use it. It really depends on the individual, then... but everyone likes to receive gifts and little surprise showings of thoughtfulness and care.
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Old 2009-10-19, 21:28   Link #2000
Splitpersonality
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Originally Posted by killer911 View Post
Alright, today I invited a girl to come with me to an amusement park. Would this count as a date? I dont want it to seem like a date, I just wanna be friends.
If you don't put forward the intentions of being someone who dates her, then it should be fine.

If she likes you, then I don't know how that'll work out
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