Dating

[RadiantBeam]

Like Narona said, think with your head. It isn't a problem to always have girls on the mind, but when you actually want to take the time to develop a relationship, make sure your head is clear and you know what you're getting into.

Also, don't let your needs mess up your priorities. Girls may be a great part of life (), but they aren't all there is to life.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Both right now. I have a particular girl in mind (one of my close friends) and in general I just can't stop thinking about them. It really is an obsession right now and literally 95% of my thoughts are directed towards girls. Even when I'm focusing on my school studies, I still have these thoughts all the time.

I can only see two options here, you either occupy yourself with something that will help you forget about girls (and therefore decrease your average time spent obsessing over them ), or you cut straight to the root of the problem and ask a girl out.

If you're more wanting to do the former, my advice would be to get engrossed in something which you don't associate girls with. The only thing I can think of would be sport, but try something other than studying. Studying will hardly put to rest all the testosterone you're feeling right now.

[Haladflire65]

I have a question! Several, actually.

So once me and a guy friend (NOT boyfriend) of mine went out together (just the two of us) to play soccer, basketball and buy ice cream. This guy's a year yonger than me; I met him i martial arts class, and he confessed to me a while later. But we agreed that we wouldn't be 'girlfriend and boyfriend' because, well, we felt that would be akward. We were only like, 14 and 13. Would that little outing that I mentioned above be pretty much a date? And is there anything 'bad' about going out with a guy younger than you?

I haven't seen this person for a year... We're still e-mailing, though. Is this a good sign? Do you think you can see any development in our relationship (just friends, really) in the future? Or is it just, well, just something teeagers always have?

[RadiantBeam]

It depends on how you define a date, to be honest. For me, it isn't a date unless I'm asked out by the guy or I ask the guy out myself; otherwise, I just assume I'm having a nice day with a guy friend. Incidentally, I don't see a problem with him being younger than you, since it isn't a major age difference and you both seem to be good friends.

Keeping in contact with someone is always a good thing regardless of what the future is. ^^ As for development, well, that's entirely up to you. You certainly have the option of dating him at this point, since you know he already likes you and I'm assuming that hasn't changed recently. As for what you mean by 'something teenagers always have', I don't follow, sorry.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Haladflire65

I have a question! Several, actually.

So once me and a guy friend (NOT boyfriend) of mine went out together (just the two of us) to play soccer, basketball and buy ice cream. This guy's a year yonger than me; I met him i martial arts class, and he confessed to me a while later. But we agreed that we wouldn't be 'girlfriend and boyfriend' because, well, we felt that would be akward. We were only like, 14 and 13. Would that little outing that I mentioned above be pretty much a date? And is there anything 'bad' about going out with a guy younger than you?

I haven't seen this person for a year... We're still e-mailing, though. Is this a good sign? Do you think you can see any development in our relationship (just friends, really) in the future? Or is it just, well, just something teeagers always have?

My ex-hubby was 2 years younger than me, and I'm 7 yrs younger than my hubby, so *shrug* I never really considered age differences.

and it may've been a date or may've just been hanging out; depends on how you both define it

[Haladflire65]

Yeah, I told a few friends about it and they were all like, 'oooh!' lol. So I was assuming most people saw it as a date... I didn't really feel that way, though.

And another thing is that he moved away from my hometown, which I'm going to visit every holiday because I'm in a boarding school, so we haven't met for a while. I'm not sure if we would be able to in the near future. I really do like him, but if we can't even see each other...

[RadiantBeam]

A long distance relationship can work, but it takes a lot of time and effort. It's hard, but if you really like him and want to be with him, I'm sure you can find a way.

[UltimaWolf]

So we officially broke up today...bleh

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by UltimaWolf

So we officially broke up today...bleh

I'm sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?

[0utf0xZer0]

Originally Posted by Haladflire65

So once me and a guy friend (NOT boyfriend) of mine went out together (just the two of us) to play soccer, basketball and buy ice cream. This guy's a year yonger than me; I met him i martial arts class, and he confessed to me a while later. But we agreed that we wouldn't be 'girlfriend and boyfriend' because, well, we felt that would be akward. We were only like, 14 and 13. Would that little outing that I mentioned above be pretty much a date? And is there anything 'bad' about going out with a guy younger than you?

Let's discuss the age thing first. I've been criticized, albeit by only one person, for saying I was going to confess to a girl four years younger than me. I think you need to ask yourself the same question that I asked him in reply: who is going to be harmed by it? Given how small the age gap between you two is, I'm guessing the answer is "no one".

Really, I think you're stressing out about things that don't actually matter that much. Whether or not it was a date is really just a matter of semantics and plenty of girls have younger boyfriends, it's just less common than the opposite because girls mature slightly faster. The distance factor is what you really need to be thinking about.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

plenty of girls have younger boyfriends.

Heck, currently my best friend is eighteen and she's dating a sixteen-year old. ^^;; Granted, I don't approve of the relationship, but that's another story for another day. >>;;

[Haladflire65]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Heck, currently my best friend is eighteen and she's dating a sixteen-year old. ^^;; Granted, I don't approve of the relationship, but that's another story for another day. >>;;

Yeah, once I had a friend who was in grade 8 and she was supposedly girlfriends with a sixth-grader, who's actually her cousin. I personally found that just plain weird. Didn't tell her that, though... -_-

Now I'm wondering what I can do about the long-distance thing. Maybe we can send each other packages and stuff. I don't really know.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Haladflire65

Now I'm wondering what I can do about the long-distance thing. Maybe we can send each other packages and stuff. I don't really know.

Again, it really depends. Long distance relationships are a lot of time and effort, but they can work if you try hard and really want to make it succeed.

[0utf0xZer0]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Heck, currently my best friend is eighteen and she's dating a sixteen-year old. ^^;; Granted, I don't approve of the relationship, but that's another story for another day. >>;;

The fact you find this two year age difference noteworthy makes me feelso much better about confessing to a girl four years younger than me.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

The fact you find this two year age difference noteworthy makes me feelso much better about confessing to a girl four years younger than me.

I'm just saying, it isn't unusual. It's not the age difference that bothers me, it's how they met and what happened afterward that bothers me.

[Timdog]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

I can only see two options here, you either occupy yourself with something that will help you forget about girls (and therefore decrease your average time spent obsessing over them ), or you cut straight to the root of the problem and ask a girl out.

If you're more wanting to do the former, my advice would be to get engrossed in something which you don't associate girls with. The only thing I can think of would be sport, but try something other than studying. Studying will hardly put to rest all the testosterone you're feeling right now.

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

[Kusa-San]

Did you try to see a specialist about your problem ? I mean if you're even depressed because of that you need to see a psychologist or something like that.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

It's odd that something would be able to take over your mind to that extent. I know how it feels to have a girl on your mind a lot, and the feeling of not being able to focus on other tasks because of it, but usually that will get easier to deal with the more I dettach myself from this person.

Normally this will happen with time, and if you're a busy person in general who has obligations other issues will compete for your time and attention.

But in teenage years some are more hormonal than others, and this feeling can be more intense and tricky to handle. All you can do is acknowledge it, get used to it for now, and try to deal with it. Alternatively you can act and get what you want. The best way to do this would be to go to a party, get yourself and a girl drunk, and hey presto - you get rejected and try again until it works.

I would recommend not losing your dignity over this, however.

[Kusa-San]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

The best way to do this would be to go to a party, get yourself and a girl drunk, and hey presto.

If you're calling the best way doing it with a girl you don't know (and be drunk) for your first time...I'm wondering what's the worst way...

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

If you're calling the best way doing it with a girl you don't know (and be drunk) for your first time...I'm wondering what's the worst way...

The worst way is rape.

for srs, I'll modify: the most "efficient" way to have sex and kiss a girl is the aforementioned, generally speaking.