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Old 2003-11-29, 06:09   Link #1
Oneesama
本當に愛してるなら, "鰻食べる?ってきかないで
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Talking A Laugh A Day

do you know it takes 17 muscles to smile yet 43 muscles to frown?<--correct me if I am wrong

do you know people say: if you laugh 3 times a day keeps your family doctor away? (ok... i make tat up.... it was from my mom XD )
but FACTS: laugh have the ability to cope with major illness and the stress of life's problems. also bring balance to all the components of the immune system, which helps us fight off diseases. ^^ so

>>>>>SO THIS THREAD IS FOR YOU TO RELAX AND LAUGH AWAY<<<<<

p.s. Do you also know a person who studies laughter is called a Gelotologist ^^
--> I didnt know there was such occupation

hm........
1st attempt

A boy wrote this letter home from Camp:
Drear Mom and Dad:
Gue$$ what I need? Plea$e $end $ome $oon.
Be$t Wi$he$
Your $on $ammy

His parents wrote back:
Dear Sammy:
NOthing much is happening here. Please write aNOther letter soon. Bye for NOw. Love, Mom and Dad

2nd attempt

Counselor: how did you get that horrible swelling on your nose?
Jimmy: I bent over to smell a brose.
Counselor: There is no b in rose.
Jimmy held up a rose: There was in this one.

haha..... hope that make you laugh
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Old 2003-11-29, 07:17   Link #2
importkid
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i laugh at the 1st one but the 2nd one i dont get
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Old 2003-11-29, 07:57   Link #3
Tomomi
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Err, okie, the first one was funny. But what about the second one? Hmm, wasn't there a thread sometime ago that was about posting jokes too? Correct me if I'm wrong.
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Old 2003-11-29, 08:12   Link #4
xris
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneesama
do you know it takes 17 muscles to smile yet 43 muscles to frown?
So therefore it's more 'heathly' to frown than smile, since you get more exercise that way. Sounds good to me...

43 muscles exercised already due to this thread...
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Old 2003-11-29, 08:32   Link #5
gravitation
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oooo thanx for the interesting facts the first joke was good, the second one was okey ^_^ im gonna smile now for this post ^_^ :: <--i actually did it
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Old 2003-11-29, 16:42   Link #6
p3psi
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what is this, rate that joke thread?

Ok, ill post one, dont tell me if you heard it before cuz i dont care:

Two men are sitting in a bar on the 3rd floor of a resturant. The man starts up a conversation with the other one.
The first man says "the vodka here is so good, it makes you feel like you're floating on air."
The first man orders a vodka.
The first man starts drinking, and what do you know, he starts floating in the air!
The 1st man is flying around the room without a care in the world!.
THe 2nd man says "wow! unbelievable! bartender, give me a shot of that vodka he's drinking!"
The 2nd man takes a shot, and runs and jumps our the 3rd floor window and falls like a brick and hits the pavement.
The barkeep says to the 1st man:"Clark Kent, you jerk, you're a real A-hole when you're drunk!"

OH, about that second joke, the brose. I guess you guys arnt native english speakers, or it was a terrible joke . YOu see, she got stung cuzz there was a bee in the rose, hence, brose.

Last edited by p3psi; 2003-11-29 at 16:52.
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Old 2003-11-29, 17:20   Link #7
Lee-pimp
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yeah pepsi that wasnt exactly how it goes but whatever close enough
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Old 2003-11-29, 17:41   Link #8
uglypigs
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a man walked into a bar...ouch.
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Old 2003-12-01, 07:16   Link #9
Oneesama
本當に愛してるなら, "鰻食べる?ってきかないで
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by xris
43 muscles exercised already due to this thread...
please move the other 17 muscles too for this thread ^^ i am sure it will make you laugh~ "SMILE COZ YOU ARE WORTH IT" haha~ make you laugh.....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

anywaz:
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Small One
Personally I prefer don't using any muscles anyway...
dont be so lazy~ so that why you are "the small one" [ no offenz]

"SMILE COZ YOU ARE WORTH IT"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

gravitation = thx ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by p3psi
OH, about that second joke, the brose. I guess you guys arnt native english speakers, or it was a terrible joke . YOu see, she got stung cuzz there was a bee in the rose, hence, brose.
percisely~
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Old 2003-12-01, 07:34   Link #10
Tzurial
in silent opposition
 
 
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Has anyone ever laughed so hard they cant stop? And then they faint from not being able to BREATHE?! Its not fun. Heres the joke that nearly killed me!

-Whats black, white and red all over?
-A skunk with a rash!!

HAH!!...skunks are funny
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Old 2003-12-01, 07:35   Link #11
NoSanninWa
Weapon of Mass Discussion
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneesama
do you know it takes 17 muscles to smile yet 43 muscles to frown?
This proves that it is easier to frown than to smile since the effort is distributed over more muscles. No wonder it makes my face ache to smile, but frowning is easy.
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Old 2003-12-02, 04:07   Link #12
Kawaii_Sennin
She's a man, baby!!!
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Daly City, CA
Age: 30
I spilled tea on myself after seeing these weird ads. Enjoy

Last edited by Kawaii_Sennin; 2003-12-02 at 04:18.
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Old 2003-12-02, 05:10   Link #13
GATX207_Blitz
Gobble Gobble
 
 
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heh that be some werid ads...lets see better post a joke or something with this or this post may get deleted

how many idiots does it take to screw in light bulb?
4
why?

o
|o
|
| |
------
/ \
o| || |o
| | |
| | || | |
idiots #2-#4 are spinning around in a circle while #1 holds it in the socket

ok my diagram sucked, but if anyone got that and think my joke sucks then don't smile and frown
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Old 2003-12-02, 05:22   Link #14
FinFangFoom
The Man, The Legend......
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Redmond, WA
Age: 37
Quote:
Counselor: how did you get that horrible swelling on your nose?
Jimmy: I bent over to smell a brose.
Counselor: There is no b in rose.
Jimmy held up a rose: There was in this one
I think someones been eating to much Laffy Taffy.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gummybear
ps. hey FinFangFoom, can you change that pic of yours in the sig because when ever I read threads that have your message post in it would make people around me think I am watching gay porn, make it smaller or something
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Old 2003-12-02, 05:39   Link #15
Flash_Squirrel
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Well.. ROD?
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Old 2003-12-02, 06:31   Link #16
NoSanninWa
Weapon of Mass Discussion
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by GATX207_Blitz
heh that be some werid ads...lets see better post a joke or something with this or this post may get deleted

how many idiots does it take to screw in light bulb?
4
why?

(Diagram Deleted for brevity)
idiots #2-#4 are spinning around in a circle while #1 holds it in the socket

ok my diagram sucked, but if anyone got that and think my joke sucks then don't smile and frown
I love light bulb jokes!

Q. How many idiots does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Four. One to hold the bulb and three to turn the stepladder.

Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Q. How many radical feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That's not funny!!!

Q. How many gypsies does it take to change a light bulb ?
A. Just one, but you lose a lot of light bulbs.

Q. How many school teachers does it take to change a light bulb on the space shuttle?
A. 1000001. One to change the light bulb and a million to pick up the pieces.

Q. How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Three. One to change the bulb, one to copyright the method for changing the bulb, and one to call in the lawyers on anyone who infringes on the "look and feel" of the bulb changing method.

Q. How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.

Q. How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it takes eight million years.

Q. How many creationists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. That's a trick question. Light bulbs don't change.

Q. How many T.V. Evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

Q. How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to bemoan the darkness until the other redefines something else as light.

Q. How many analytic philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. It's a psuedo-problem. Light bulbs give off light (hence the name). If the
bulb was broken and wasn't giving off light, then it wouldn't be a "light
bulb" now would it?

Q. How many monists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Don't be silly. There is only one monist.

Q. How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but it has to know its own Goedel's number.
(If you have to ask me what that means, then you won't find it funny.)

Q. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Lawyers don't change bulbs, but if you're looking for someone to really screw a bulb...

Q. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, lawyers only screw us.

Q. How many American college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

Q. How many people at an American football match does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three. One to change it and two to tip the contents of the ice bucket over the coach to congratulate him on a successful bulb screwing.

Q. How many pro-choicers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. One to do it and one to assert that the bulb didn't exist before it was lit up.

Q. How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Six. Two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

Q. How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity anymore.

Q. How many Irish guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to hold the bulb, and four to guzzle beer until the room spins.

Q. How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. About one third less than for a regular bulb.



PS. As you can tell I really, really love light bulb jokes. I bet that now, you're all cursing out GATX207_Blitz for getting me started.
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Old 2003-12-02, 07:39   Link #17
FinFangFoom
The Man, The Legend......
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Redmond, WA
Age: 37
O.K time for my favorite sexist joke, but you need a very basic knowlege of the bible. (if I don't screw it up, it's been awhile)

So God creates Adam and puts him in the Garden of Eden and tells him he gets to live there forever in paridise. Adam was happy for awhile but then then one day God finds him sad and ask;

"What's wrong Adam?"

Adam replies "Well this is great and all, but I see all these animals with compainions and they seem really happy. It makes me feel really lonley sometimes. Can't I have a companion too?"

God thinks about it for a few minutes then says "O.K, I'll let you have a companion to walk with you that will be a perfect compliment to you in every way. But it'll cost you both of your arms and a leg."

Adam thinks to himself; "I don't know, if I don't have arms I won't be able to hold anything or pet the animals. And I'll get really tired of hopping around everywhere on just one leg. It just doesn't seem worth it."

So Adam says to God, "What can I get for a rib?"


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
O.K I don't think thats how it goes but you get the idea.
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Old 2003-12-02, 13:36   Link #18
GATX207_Blitz
Gobble Gobble
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoSanninWa
As you can tell I really, really love light bulb jokes. I bet that now, you're all cursing out GATX207_Blitz for getting me started.
#@$%^%#*&#$^$ why did I ever bring that !@#^$%^%$ joke up.....


heh

I liked the one about the teachers that one was my favorite 1,000,000 to pick up the pieces
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Old 2003-12-02, 13:44   Link #19
Tzurial
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wow..I had no idea the lightbulb joke was so flexible..I have learned alot today
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Old 2003-12-02, 13:53   Link #20
gravitation
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LOL i neva knew soo many light bulb jokes existed!!?! o yeah those ads near the top were funny lol, kinda weird tho! ^_~
P.S NoSanninWa i congratulate you on telling so many lightbulb jokes *hands a gold plated trophy...actually silver looks better*
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