Dating

[hinakatbklyn]

Originally Posted by Shiemi

I will admit I tend to forgive easily and sometimes, can easily forget about the bad things. Even my fiancé says I'm too nice. He doesn't want me to change in that sense, but sometimes he says my niceness is too extreme to the point of thinking of others more than I think about my own self. He has been helping me in trying to be a little selfish from time to time.

It doesn't hurt to forgive someone if it was a small mistake. It's when someone makes the same mistake again and again that you realize you shouldn't forgive as easily. If enough time has passed and they were sorry about what they did, I would then consider forgiving that person who made the mistake.

It's great that you can forget about bad things that happened in the past, but it doesn't sound as easy especially if it was really bad (a divorce is just one example). It can take alot longer for some to get over a bad event especially when it affects more than one person. But it can hurt alot more when you keep remembering the bad things.

It's OK to think of others rather than think of yourself once in a while, but sooner or later, you have to think of yourself and your family. You never know when someone is trying to take advantage of your kindness.

[Shiemi]

Thanks, Lio and Harufox. Been feeling better and more confident.

Ascaloth, lol. Hope you help your girl be a little selfish from time to time too.

hinakatbklyn, One of the reasons I stayed for years in an abusive relationship was because I kept forgiving and forgiving. It was a vicious circle. I'm really glad I was able to get out of that. I needed help from others and support so that I wouldn't go back at some point. But yeah, one of the main reasons I was able to leave completely was my daughters. I didn't want them to grow in such a household.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

It's more the 'being too nice to others at the expense of oneself' I'm more worried about, actually. For personal experience, such girls are easily cheated and/or taken advantage of.

It is my personal belief that each girl has her own insecurity to be exploited to your advantage (in certain cases, you have to risk injuries). Of course, don't be an asshole when exploiting it and be a total playboy : do it only if you love her.

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

....argh. You sound exactly like my girl, and that sounds exactly what I've been trying to help my girl to do as well. :headdesk:

Keep doing it until the desk turns red.

P.S Looks like I managed to convince that cute little thing that I felt like a big brother to her rather than loving her. Seems that she is desperate after seeing all her friends being attached, and she alone wasn't. Though I feel a little guilty for rejecting her outright after she busted that question.

And I was right. Those girls egged her on!

EDIT :
Just to add that I called her just now. It is like.....we had nothing to talk about, just exchanging "are you ok?" and "hmm ok". Is it alright to leave her alone in her house like that?

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Shiemi

I will admit I tend to forgive easily and sometimes, can easily forget about the bad things. Even my fiancé says I'm too nice. He doesn't want me to change in that sense, but sometimes he says my niceness is too extreme to the point of thinking of others more than I think about my own self. He has been helping me in trying to be a little selfish from time to time.

But yeah, I won't say a thing myself, but will see how I can still let my ex know at least that I'm moving. Yes, I can put closure and have a new life with my fiancé, but I cannot deny my ex contact with his daughters and he will probably want to travel to see them and send them stuff as he has done till now. (That is one other think I have to work on because I have no intention of having him know where I'll live. He will only get a P.O. Box address for sending stuff.) It's like my oldest once said when she was 5: "I know he made you suffer, but he will always be my father."

And note I didn't say that you should cut the link with him and your kids. I said to RB that the relationship between him and the kids won't change, I know you'll let them keep in contact over webcam, etc and you're already thinking of getting a P.O box for America when you move.
That's fine. You've forgiven him, great.
Now concentrate on your wedding and leave him out of it. I don't see what difference it makes for him to know, cept for him to potentially screw things up for you before the wedding (and I wouldn't put it past him).

Should you get married, settle in, the kids still keep in contact, it'll only be until he wants to send something and needs an address that the topic will come up and sure then you can say:
'I've left PR now, got married and settled in the US. As you've noticed, nothing has changed with you and the kids so there's nothing to discuss, except giving you a new address so they can receive items from you.'

You really have to stand your ground Sheimi.
It isn't being extreme and cutting him off so your kids don't hear from him anymore, but it's keeping him in check as to not disturb your happiness and future.
You do not owe him anything, so whether he hears it now or later doesn't matter, nor should he flip out as long as the relationship and access between his kids remains the same, which I know you have no issues with.
That's about it, it doesn't become a complicated issue unless you wanna make it, lol.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

What's so bad about forgiving easily?

Forgiving easily is one thing, but allowing a negative force to remain in your life after forgiving is where it gets stupid.
Sadly for those who forgive easily, they also just 'continue as always'.
Why is it bad?
Cause humanity has a tendancy to prey on the weak and good, so basically you'll be used, abused, chewed and spat out.
It needs a balance.
You can be kind natured, non violent, polite, sweet and kind, but you also need to know how to hold your ground, when 'enough is enough', when to say 'no' and when to be strong.
(Speaking emotionally and mentally here)
The toughest thing is being strong as many women (I'm speaking from a female p.o.v) are afraid to speak out or retort, or let their own lack of self confidence whisper negative thoughts in their minds and believe they have zero worth.

Within dating, this could also apply in terms of following your instincts if something feels wrong, or if one person is moving too fast and you feel uncomfortable, you tell them (or someone) about it, rather than freaking out and falling into a dangerous situation.

[SaintessHeart]

As of just now, I received a (maybe two?) long distance calls at 1AM in the bloody morning from a madwoman screaming down the line verbal abuses and threats with regards to me rejecting her sister. When she asked me why, I told her the truth (that I liked her) : so she went "ARRRRGGGHHH!" like a rampaging female barbarian and hung up.

Half an hour later, she called me back (this ojou sure has alot of dosh) and broke my heart with two things :

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

2. who could only act more manly if I fulfilled Ascaloth's prediction.

In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

Miss Tsundere says she will talk to her sis, and as usual, her ending words for me is a threat,

"If you do anything stupid to my sis, I will cut you up."
"With what? A katana? A cleaver?"
"No, a bonesaw."

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

Btw what is the bloody time now over at UK anyway?

[psycho_luny]

just end your suffering and forget about those 2.
they're obviously both nut cases, so your better of without them.
just try to find a girl that doesn't hurt you or threaten to hurt you, that isn't completely insane and be happy with her.
but FORGET about this 1, for it pointless now. she doesn't see it happening a relationship between you and her.
and about the gay part, she's just tryïng to mess with you. she knows its painful for a guy to be called gay.

[hinakatbklyn]

@SaintessHeart: Do you really want to go that far to try and win someone over even though it's going to give you alot of stress in the long run? It's OK if you do, but if you don't already know this already, it will take an awful lot of patience on your part from what you're saying and what your girlfriend was saying. And if you do have to pick one over the other, hope for the best but expect the worst.

Then again, if you don't have the patience, it may be better to let both go. I've never handled arguments very well (I just let the otherside yell away). I may be willing to compromise in a relationship, but not when the other does not have the time or patience to listen (especially when threats are involved). Being nice and all is fine, but not when they don't appreciate it.

[Shiemi]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

As of just now, I received a (maybe two?) long distance calls at 1AM in the bloody morning from a madwoman screaming down the line verbal abuses and threats with regards to me rejecting her sister. When she asked me why, I told her the truth (that I liked her) : so she went "ARRRRGGGHHH!" like a rampaging female barbarian and hung up.

Half an hour later, she called me back (this ojou sure has alot of dosh) and broke my heart with two things :

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

2. who could only act more manly if I fulfilled Ascaloth's prediction.

In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

Miss Tsundere says she will talk to her sis, and as usual, her ending words for me is a threat,

"If you do anything stupid to my sis, I will cut you up."
"With what? A katana? A cleaver?"
"No, a bonesaw."

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

Sweetie, have you ever envisioned yourself in the long run with that tsundere? (Btw, I would refer to her as an abuser. ) Like picturing yourself having a life with her? Do you think you would be happy?

It's difficult, but like others have said, I don't think she is right for you and you should move on. The fact that she told you she is not interested in you should be the best ticket in starting a process of forgetting.

Little sister is no better for reasons you yourself have stated. I hope you are strong and manage. Good luck!

Btw what is the bloody time now over at UK anyway?

When I want to know the time somewhere in the world, I just google it. Always works.

[Animelover#1]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

It's more the 'being too nice to others at the expense of oneself' I'm more worried about, actually. For personal experience, such girls are easily cheated and/or taken advantage of.

I'm the same. but a little different.
I can fall out with someone but I can't hold grudges. and i'll get lonely after (about 3 minutes was the earliest) a few hours and want to make friends again. I also met someone through youtube, she has quite a few problems. and i've been talking to her and giving her advice. She admited to me when i met her that she cut herself, but shes telling me she isnt doing it now. I'm trying to keep her sane and im getting her to look at the finer points of life.

and to keep this post on topic.

Sainteness.. I can fully sympethise with you.. -.-' The girl that I like is a part tsundere. She's kind, funny, she shares stories and secrets with me. but. Most of the time she abusive and rude. She is quite sad a lot of the time and if i ask "how are you?" Or "are you ok?" she gets annoyed by the question. It's extremely difficult, but because i care for her i'm trying to at least be there for when she wants to talk, and I offer her advice when she needs it. she just needs time, I think.

Oh, and sainteness... Don't give up . I think, the trick with tsunderes is to agree to what they say, and play on their sympathetic side. Also when talking to her try to be perfectly clear on what you are saying and be clear on what your intentions are. More arguments with tsunderes are caused by misunderstandings than anything else.
Also, you might like the idea of doing something nice for her.. Maybe try buying something you know she wants.Or if you dont have the means, try doing something romantic. for example, when the time arises, say something from the bottom of your heart, about why you love her or that shes important to you, or how she a special person in your life. something like that. assuming she is speechless, If it was me I would give her a kiss or a hug and walk away with a "I'm off. Cya." And if she shouts right back at you, then maybe say something slightly harsh. maybe something like.. "Well I'm sorry for caring about you!"

Anyway. Do these at your own risk, i dont know your relationship with her.
Goodluck man.

[Kafriel]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

If you somehow enjoy her company, stay friends...otherwise just end it. Can't get along with everyone on the planet, she isn't making it any easier for you, and the whole little sis thing must be rather stressful. In the end, you didn't even get a thanks after all the crap you were put through...sucks

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

As of just now, I received a (maybe two?) long distance calls at 1AM in the bloody morning from a madwoman screaming down the line verbal abuses and threats with regards to me rejecting her sister. When she asked me why, I told her the truth (that I liked her) : so she went "ARRRRGGGHHH!" like a rampaging female barbarian and hung up.

Half an hour later, she called me back (this ojou sure has alot of dosh) and broke my heart with two things :

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

2. who could only act more manly if I fulfilled Ascaloth's prediction.

In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

Miss Tsundere says she will talk to her sis, and as usual, her ending words for me is a threat,

"If you do anything stupid to my sis, I will cut you up."
"With what? A katana? A cleaver?"
"No, a bonesaw."

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

Btw what is the bloody time now over at UK anyway?

Haven't you tried your best to tread carefully with her sister? Put her back in her place, and don't let her threaten you again, even jokingly, because she has no right to do that.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

As of just now, I received a (maybe two?) long distance calls at 1AM in the bloody morning from a madwoman screaming down the line verbal abuses and threats with regards to me rejecting her sister. When she asked me why, I told her the truth (that I liked her) : so she went "ARRRRGGGHHH!" like a rampaging female barbarian and hung up.

Half an hour later, she called me back (this ojou sure has alot of dosh) and broke my heart with two things :

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

2. who could only act more manly if I fulfilled Ascaloth's prediction.

In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

Miss Tsundere says she will talk to her sis, and as usual, her ending words for me is a threat,

"If you do anything stupid to my sis, I will cut you up."
"With what? A katana? A cleaver?"
"No, a bonesaw."

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

Btw what is the bloody time now over at UK anyway?

I'm going to be honest and say you should seriously think about getting away from her. Completely. A girl who tosses around those kinds of threats so easily (and from what you've said about her, is willing to follow through with those threats) isn't worth your time. You deserve better.

[Haruka_Kitten]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

As of just now, I received a (maybe two?) long distance calls at 1AM in the bloody morning from a madwoman screaming down the line verbal abuses and threats with regards to me rejecting her sister. When she asked me why, I told her the truth (that I liked her) : so she went "ARRRRGGGHHH!" like a rampaging female barbarian and hung up.

Woah...rampant much? At least she's paying. I've been reverse charged a good $5 on my part for a 30 second call of someone telling me to stop prank calling >_>"

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Half an hour later, she called me back (this ojou sure has alot of dosh) and broke my heart with two things :

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

Seriously, is having an interest in anything remotely girly enough to label people gay? Partially because I just went bi, I really dislike the term. It seems painful that she'd string you along like that and throw that in your face. I woulda given her a big fat "Yeah, well stuff you." You don't deserve to be thrown around like that, and the tone of her voice sounds like it was a bit insensitive.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

...In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

I shall probably touch on this, that girls are extremely good at manipulation. Because of the perception that girls are the weaker sex (trust me, this is NOT how I think), a girl is easily able to make you look like the bad guy. It's challenging knowing what to and not to do, especially since, as you say, it would look like you were taking advantage of her to cheat her out of her virginity. (I don't even think this makes any sense at all...)

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Miss Tsundere says she will talk to her sis, and as usual, her ending words for me is a threat,

"If you do anything stupid to my sis, I will cut you up."
"With what? A katana? A cleaver?"
"No, a bonesaw."

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

I'm gonna agree with psycho_luny, why do you bother with her anymore now? As far as I can see, she's screwed you over pretty good. I don't think you should cut yourself, that only shows you caved into her insults.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Btw what is the bloody time now over at UK anyway?

Currently, at writing this, AEST (Daylight savings ended last night) is 11:50AM, so currently it should be 1:50AM in the UK

VM me if it doesn't make sense, yeah?

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

1. She told me that she wasn't interested in me. She saw me as her gay male best friend...

Wow. If she gave you a line like that, then that generally means GG. Unless you're willing to try something drastic (like the "lean in and kiss" for example) - and frankly even I wouldn't put my money on a positive outcome at this point - then this is the sign you're better off going for the "Start New Game" option.

2. who could only act more manly if I fulfilled Ascaloth's prediction.

...which one? It bugs me sometimes that I don't remember half of what I've said before.

In fact, I am surprised that she understood why I rejected her sis outright. And she agreed that her sister wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet : that girl would just get cheated out of her virginity.

There you have it. I knew she couldn't be quite that unreasonable. You underestimate people a tad too much sometimes, dude.

So what do I do next? Cut myself because I am being perceived as a gay by a girl I like?

I'd say Start New Game, pal. If you want an alternative high-risk high-reward option, do the "lean in and kiss".

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

Haven't you tried your best to tread carefully with her sister? Put her back in her place, and don't let her threaten you again, even jokingly, because she has no right to do that.

Actually it is her exaggerated and empty threats that make her cute. It's her way of covering up for her insecurity of being SWCC (Soft, Warm, Caring & Cuddly) on the inside.

Originally Posted by Kafriel

If you somehow enjoy her company, stay friends...otherwise just end it. Can't get along with everyone on the planet, she isn't making it any easier for you, and the whole little sis thing must be rather stressful. In the end, you didn't even get a thanks after all the crap you were put through...sucks

She did. Though when I tried to confirm it, she went "tsun" ("It is...it's not like you deserve any thanks for this!"). How cute.

Originally Posted by Harufox

Woah...rampant much? At least she's paying. I've been reverse charged a good $5 on my part for a 30 second call of someone telling me to stop prank calling >_>"

What is money when your parents work somewhere high up in the airlines?

Seriously, is having an interest in anything remotely girly enough to label people gay? Partially because I just went bi, I really dislike the term. It seems painful that she'd string you along like that and throw that in your face. I woulda given her a big fat "Yeah, well stuff you." You don't deserve to be thrown around like that, and the tone of her voice sounds like it was a bit insensitive.

That kind of thinking, TBH, leads you to become a hypocrite. Being insensitive means to not bother to understand others, and putting on a kevlar facade falls out of the category.

But I have to agree that characters like hers tend to lead others to misunderstand. Usually people who react violently to personal issues like trust and ECRs (Extremely Close Relations) tend to be strong believers in friendship and loyalty : something erroneously misplaced in many people's EQ inventories.

I shall probably touch on this, that girls are extremely good at manipulation. Because of the perception that girls are the weaker sex (trust me, this is NOT how I think), a girl is easily able to make you look like the bad guy. It's challenging knowing what to and not to do, especially since, as you say, it would look like you were taking advantage of her to cheat her out of her virginity. (I don't even think this makes any sense at all...)

In her case I believe otherwise. I understand what you mean, it is all part of psychological warfare, under the auspices of reverse psychology (Israel probably did the same back in 1948. but let's not go into politics).

However I don't think a girl who cuts herself extensively on her shoulders and arms is trying to demonise me.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I'm going to be honest and say you should seriously think about getting away from her. Completely. A girl who tosses around those kinds of threats so easily (and from what you've said about her, is willing to follow through with those threats) isn't worth your time. You deserve better.

I'm gonna agree with psycho_luny, why do you bother with her anymore now? As far as I can see, she's screwed you over pretty good. I don't think you should cut yourself, that only shows you caved into her insults.

She usually throws threats, but on fulfills around 10% of it. So as long as I don't do anything funny to her sis, I get to keep myself intact.

I didn't cave in, I just let things slide because I know she can't do much to me. Most of the time, I act scared so as to see her cute face : the dumb thing about her is that she continuously heap threats at me that it loses its meaning, and yet she still continues to do so. I suppose if she knows about it, she is trying to get my attention since most guys simply fear her, she is abusive BUT she is a girl, so the guys can't hit her, and don't want to risk getting incapacitated when accidentally dissing her off.

And of all the girls, why can I only communicate with eccentric types (i.e, tsundere, emo, fujoshi) while I keep dissing off the normal ones?

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

...which one? It bugs me sometimes that I don't remember half of what I've said before.

The one about hooking me up with her imouto.

I'd say Start New Game, pal. If you want an alternative high-risk high-reward option, do the "lean in and kiss".

I think I will just get a new game altogether. Introduce me a normal female otaku?

Also, you made it sound as though that chasing a girl like that is like speculating in the futures market. So.....I have to wait for a breakout? Bollinger or EMA?

[Animelover#1]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

And of all the girls, why can I only communicate with eccentric types (i.e, tsundere, emo, fujoshi) while I keep dissing off the normal ones

In my opinion, Nobody is normal, as everyone is an individual. and the people who you might look at as "normal" are just that. So generally I seek out people who are different as they are more interesting people to interact and talk to with

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

The one about hooking me up with her imouto.

So wait, she was trying to hook you up with imouto?

I think I will just get a new game altogether. Introduce me a normal female otaku?

Pal, the typical "normal female otaku" in Singapore is a yaoi fangirl who dresses in Japanese thigh-highs kind of fashion which doesn't help to flatter their below-average looks, not to mention their general behaviour isn't exactly....attractive. Trust me, you generally don't want to have too much to deal with them.

Also, you made it sound as though that chasing a girl like that is like speculating in the futures market. So.....I have to wait for a breakout? Bollinger or EMA?

Speculating in futures? That's probably quite an apt analogy, actually.

[Haruka_Kitten]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

What is money when your parents work somewhere high up in the airlines?

What is money? The term has become so loose now.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

That kind of thinking, TBH, leads you to become a hypocrite. Being insensitive means to not bother to understand others, and putting on a kevlar facade falls out of the category.

I like to think of it as fighting fire with fire, it's probably the only way you'll get any sort of understanding from her. Controversial move it is, though, as it lowers you to their level, but probably the only way you'll get your message successfully across is with a bit of agression (not too much though).

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

And of all the girls, why can I only communicate with eccentric types (i.e, tsundere, emo, fujoshi) while I keep dissing off the normal ones?

Allow me to burst that bubble (especially since we've been bursting this one a lot in Literacy classes), but there is no such thing as a normal anything. You cannot have a normal girl/guy, normal house, normal car, normal anything. It's all different. If you're thinking of normal as in what is publicly perceived as acceptable for the outside world, that constitutes what normal means to everyone else. There will always be that little bit of standing-outness in everyone. Take some high-class, white-collar worker in a good, expensive office with enough cash to start a small country again. I bet when everyone's gone home, he still watches children's TV programmes, still wishes he could fly, and maybe, just maybe...wants to jump from behind the bush and yell "Surprise!".

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I think I will just get a new game altogether. Introduce me a normal female otaku?

Sorry, had to. Again, no such thing as normal.

[yoropa]

So I thought a vacation would be good for me to stop thinking about this girl. Went out of town for a while, limited internet access, lots of distractions, a bunch of cousins and their friends to chill with, you know the ideal situation to forget about stuff.

Really didn't work. I have school tomorrow and chances are I will run into her. Along with other reasons, making me dread school.

On a side note, something interesting happened during my little vacation far away from home. A girl entered the house I was in (which belonged to my cousins) and she was one of their friends. She was in glasses and had no makeup on and was shocked to see a new guy, me, in there. The next day she came back in, this time without glasses, with makeup on, and was talking to my aunt about her perfume, all whilst slowly trying to approach me.

Now here's the thing. I don't like it when a girl thinks she has to layer herself with cosmetics to be beautiful. I would take the real girl with no makeup and glasses over the fake one any day, easily. Second, I don't have a sense of smell, so that perfume thing was just useless. Third, I live pretty far away from her. Fourth, I already have a girl I'm interested in.

So I feel kinda bad since I suddenly left that area to return back home her. Hope that girl didn't come back again, wearing her cosmetics, hoping to see me, because I'm way far away from there now. But still, it's really sad something like that happened. Maybe it's just me exaggerating what I observed (she might not have actually been interested in), but I don't like being admired in that light since I can never fulfill any expectations like that.

That's long gone and doesn't matter anymore though. I have to focus on the life ahead of me. But it's weird, that trip did do one thing positive for me. It garnered me a lot more self-respect. I went through it willingly admitting that I was a nerd and a geek to the younger cousins and their friends, and found myself suddenly the comedy star of the neighborhood (I'm funny? What?)

I received word today from my family that me not being there actually made the younger kids (ages 7-13) cry. The only way I know this improved me positively is that today is one of the few days I have not actually considered suicide. Am I becoming optimistic and self-approving? What is this shit!?

But I feel like that may help me in the end, even if I never proclaim love to this girl.

[Haruka_Kitten]

Well said, Arbitres. Makes me want to cry reading it (I'd give rep, but I have to spread some around before I can rep another one of your posts again).

Which has bought me to finally bring up this rather small (yet big) issue I have. I wanted to avoid it just in case it sounded like I was trying to steal limelight. Therefore, I have wrapped it up in spoiler tags below:

Spoiler for move along, you don't need to read this if you don't want to:

About 2 weeks ago after I was semi-slapped in the face by my ex, at around the same time a good friend of mine and her male friend thought it'd be funny to cosplay as cats and head to Melbourne city for a weekend, when there was no comicon events going on at the time. The reaction from the public was great, and when I was told about it, they showed me some photos of them together. The following Monday, this friend of mine turns up to school wearing a collar (with a small bell on it) and I spent most of the day playing with it, much to her annoyance. I decided I too would buy one, and did. She also told me that this friend she took out to Melbourne that weekend was a homosexual, and I brushed it off, because at the time I was still straight and had no problems.

Wearing that collar to school is what made me lose my conservatism, my "mild-mannerism". I was no longer that kid at the back of the classroom who didn't give a stuff, but drawing positive attention. Most of the people in my classes liked the new look anyway. For that, I thanked my good friend, and got in touch with the guy.

Well, I bought a bigger collar, and he agreed to help me make it fit better (the pre-punched holes weren't fitted for my neck), and get the bell off the cat collar too. I stayed a bit longer at his place to watch some movies, and went home, got on MSN, and spent a good 4 hours talking to him.

That's when it hit me in the face. I thought, "I'm telling him more than I tell others." I only just met the guy, and I was saying all sorts of stuff to him about myself. I sort of figured I may actually like him, which is a first for me.

Next morning, I found myself talking to him on Messenger again, I said I had something to tell him...and after about 3 or so hours of really random conversation (involving a Scania bus, food, Top Gear and a mobile phone) I finally pulled myself together and said I liked him. He actually agreed with me, and said he felt the same way about me too.

1) It's a toughie. I do like him, and to me he has the good qualities of both my exes in one person. In fact, it's only the fact that he is a guy that had me worried slightly, but now I really don't care.
2) Even though I have no qualms about what I'm getting myself into, I can only imagine the reaction from the students at school when I go back next week. A few of the problematic ones already gave me their useless as junk reaction on the collar, so I'm not expecting it to be something that'll get me looked at the same by my classmates.

As I weigh up, it's sort of even even. I do like this guy, I'm just wanting to know what people think.