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Old 2010-05-14, 17:14   Link #81
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
Hm. Yeah, I think I like Kyo. Could do without him being married to Konoka, but then I suppose he'd just be nice without much of a purpose. He's... likable. He was completely distressed last chapter when he yelled at Setsuna, but he was still able to keep himself from blaming her during the meeting. That's a very pleasant attitude to have. Hazan's good too, though I don't think she showed up this chapter.

Everyone else with the last name Wallward I could do without. They should have had better security. I mean, Kyo obviously understands what could happen when/if the wards collapse, so why can't the rest of his family get that their own guards should be equipped to deal with the failing of the wards? I'd tolerate any number Wallwards disliking Setsuna for her failure if they had done anything significant to help with security that would actually do something against demons.

Konoka's starting to get on my nerves, but... eh, no clue why at this point in time.

Setsuna going to Shizuna is a little odd, but only because I can't think of a single time they've interacted in canon. It makes sense for her to seek out a nurse for whatever fun heritage issues she might have (which I want to see more of very, very badly), but it still seems odd. Interesting though.

It was most wonderful to see Negi and Evangeline out and about. Negi's as pleasant as Kyo without being married to Konoka, and the world can only benefit from more Evangeline.

This wasn't really a happy chapter, but I like Setsuna angst that is not entirely related to Konoka, and there was Evangeline. So, fun fun fun all around, even if it isn't the sort of fun anyone within the story would be likely to appreciate. I'd ask for a speedy update, but considering my own practices...

Still, more ward issues/Setsuna-angst-fun is very much desired. Just so you know.
I meant to have a series of other scenes in this chapter that I ultimately ended up cutting and relocating to Chapter 4 , so Konoka seems pretty flat and annoying here with no explanation about her behaviour yet.

I meant to have Negi come in later in the story, but people seemed to want to see him so I threw him in a little early .

Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
Things are really beginning to move! A move to Mahora included! (Hee, I see you found a way to bring Mahora back into the picture!) and with that Negi and Evangeline!

I admit I d'awwwed at Negi and Asuna's reunion. Kyo remains an upstanding guy but the Wallward Matriarch? Yeaaaaaah. They might be powerful in their own right but considering the power house mages that are in the Kyoto Magic Association and their allies in Mahora she needs to bring her antagonism down a notch. I can see where Evangeline's scorn for the Wallwards are coming from, the Matriarch can point fingers all she wants but its not going to win her any friends (well, at least from this reader)

Just a note though... doesn't Eva still have a million dollar bounty on her head? The Headmaster only seem to inform people around his circle about Eva and never informed the other magical circles about Evangeline's whereabouts. I kind of don't see the Headmaster telling the Matriarch about Eva. If Eva's in her child form maybe the Wallwards won't figure out who she is?

(Oh, and just another thing, small nitpick-- Asuna's always referred to Evangeline as 'Eva-chan' much to Eva's eternal annoyance)

The ending with Shizuna and Setsuna: Heeee.... Setsuna, you drama ninja! And I guess, a divorced woman is a good person to ask about falling out of love!
Ah, I'll have to consider all the points you mentioned when I edit the chapter! As for Evangeline's bounty, I'm assuming that the Wallwards are considering themselves starting to be a part of the Konoe's family business, so I doubt that they'd turn in Evangeline (if they even recognize her, since they're not the most well-versed on magical world news) since she's clearly a friend of the Konoe family.

Evangeline is so fun to write, she can be totally blunt and rude and no one will say anything against her! (except maybe Asuna.... )

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
How did you know I was a Negi/Asuna shipper? Okay, I know it's not intended to be romantic (maybe), but still, I like to indulge.

Kyo continues to be a very sweet guy, even in the face of his family. He might not be in love with Konoka, but he definitely cares about her and Setsuna enough to step up and defend them. A nice additional touch in having Konoka rip apart the paper when Asuna nearly wrote down her abilities; it shows that she cares for her friend and doesn't want her to be in danger again, though knowing Asuna....

Speaking of Asuna, seems she's starting to catch on to what happened all those years ago. That.... won't end well.

Interesting to see that Setsuna is steadily becoming more demonlike with her heritage, from your hints. If I guessed, I'd say it probably started when she began to isolate herself further from her friends, and since she has a bit more angst and guilt to deal with (and she's matured more) since she was a teenager, it's manifesting itself more clearly than it ever did in the manga. Granted, that doesn't change the fact that I still want to slap her. I can't stand a character who feels like she's being lied to when someone says they care. You just lost points with me, Sets.
I had just gotten a brainwave over connecting the dots of a lot of Setsuna's problems that I've been hinting at , so I'll probably rewrite a little of this chapter. Yeah, the part where she feels Konoemon is lying wasn't something I really liked when I wrote it up, but I kept it in at the time. After thinking about it and seeing your feedback, I'm likely to cut it out ^^.

Oooh, I like the way you think . That's a big part of why Setsuna's demonic side has come up, but there's something else linked with it that I'm going to dive into soon ^^.
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Old 2010-05-14, 22:47   Link #82
deathcurse
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Chapter 3 of "Love and Duty Come in Chains" is posted to Fanfiction.net.

In addition to the name changes isagrimorie pointed out, I also did a few more things.

Changes made:

1. Setsuna and Konoemon's conversation: As RB pointed out, Setsuna's response provokes a "want to slap her" response , so I cut it out. The conversation I replaced it with was a scene I wanted to include in my first draft, but took out because it's a little confusing at this point in the story (but I put it back in since otherwise this whole scene becomes useless ).

2. Added one line to the end of the scene where Konoka and Kyo present to their families.

3. Setsuna and Shizuna's conversation: I inserted a few more lines of dialogue ...

I had considered writing "Chapter 4" directly at the end of Chapter 3, but who can resist that melodramatic cliff-hanger?
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Old 2010-05-17, 20:47   Link #83
Finalage
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My my, you people leave me behind in your dust with this conversation. Eva indeed has a six million dollar bounty, properly a million drachma in Mundus, yes I believe you did the math right, but I can't be sure...as for myself, I just took the bounty completely by the horns myself.

True, my story is quite..."raw" in the beginning, but if anyone wants to look upon it, and stick with it...I do get better as it goes along yah' know. I'd like feedback if one has time to give it. Chapter forty six is up for me...aye, I'm that far along. I'm nearly complete with this one, and I am formulating the beginning of another, but any feedback is welcome, even at this point.

I'll admit however, writing as Eva is quite entertaining, indeed. The way I've formed Negi's character also makes him very entertaining to write, of course, sometimes his caustic personality "overpowers" me, and I end up editing quite a lot out...
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Old 2010-05-18, 14:15   Link #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
I had considered writing "Chapter 4" directly at the end of Chapter 3, but who can resist that melodramatic cliff-hanger?
Oh, you're evil.
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Old 2010-05-18, 22:27   Link #85
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Finalage View Post
My my, you people leave me behind in your dust with this conversation. Eva indeed has a six million dollar bounty, properly a million drachma in Mundus, yes I believe you did the math right, but I can't be sure...as for myself, I just took the bounty completely by the horns myself.
As I mentioned earlier, I'm hopefully sliding by on the assumption that the Wallwards don't recognize Evangeline , and even if they did, that they wouldn't be turning in friends of their in-lawed family (not after all the effort they went through to get into said family).

Quote:
True, my story is quite..."raw" in the beginning, but if anyone wants to look upon it, and stick with it...I do get better as it goes along yah' know. I'd like feedback if one has time to give it. Chapter forty six is up for me...aye, I'm that far along. I'm nearly complete with this one, and I am formulating the beginning of another, but any feedback is welcome, even at this point.

I'll admit however, writing as Eva is quite entertaining, indeed. The way I've formed Negi's character also makes him very entertaining to write, of course, sometimes his caustic personality "overpowers" me, and I end up editing quite a lot out...
Sorry if I haven't read your fic, I'm just personally not a huge Negima fan , unless it's a character short about my preferred characters or a KonoSetsu that looks dazzling from the summary. And since I totally understand about getting the feedback, I'm really sorry about that .

Yeah, Evangeline gets a larger spotlight in Chapter 4, and she's definitely very entertaining to write .

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Oh, you're evil.
And this is news to you?
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Old 2010-05-18, 22:28   Link #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
And this is news to you?
Dear, you've been getting more and more evil with every chapter you post.
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Old 2010-05-18, 22:37   Link #87
deathcurse
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Dear, you've been getting more and more evil with every chapter you post.
This is evil? I haven't even gotten full stride yet!
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Old 2010-05-19, 09:44   Link #88
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This is evil? I haven't even gotten full stride yet!
...

Have I mentioned yet that you are evil?
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Old 2010-05-20, 00:30   Link #89
lilfriend400
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-shivers- ~.~;; s-since there's a fanfic thread, I'll p-post up mines:

Story #3 - Chosen Fate
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rated: T (may turn into M later on)
Status: Ongoing
Chapters: 19
Pairing: NegixSetsuna (-hides-)
Description: As Negi graduates from his magic school, he finds out that he has to start his training in becoming a Magister Magi. But this training involves familiarizing himself with a chosen partner while being a teacher at the same time.
Opinion(s): Well, it starts out with my old fanfic skills, but I later improve them as I go through the series, so don't get wasted on the first one xP And suggestions are recommended ^^;;
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Old 2010-05-20, 13:15   Link #90
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Hey.

I uh, I don't know if I should be posting this to get support or anything, since the whole thing is VERY confusing at the time this is up, but I just want Someone's opinion on this.

Spoiler for #1:


Spoiler for Notes:


Spoiler for #2:


Spoiler for Notes:


Spoiler for #3:


And there, was the explanation for why there are two factions in this story.

Spoiler for #4:


Spoiler for Notes:
¨

Spoiler for Final entry:


...Any thoughts on these? I haven't gotten any reviews or so from these two last chapters, so I wonder what people would think of this.

For those who doesn't get it: Aris stood for the idea of sending a strike team off somewhere to eliminate Nodoka, who wasn't at Mahora at the time. Negi on the other hand, rejected the idea completely and stated that they should work together to save her instead.

Practically, the strike team is not such a bad idea. They have little support to begin with, since USA and China (No Offense at all to people here from mentioned countries) refuse to throw in their magi for support to stop an alien invasion since the States claim that it is not a threat to National Security (Note: This is during the Bush regime) and China says they can hold their own against the aliens. Other states and nations, are uncertain or haven't decided due to lack of evidence of an incursion. This is understandable. The Canon Githyanki (Loyalists in story) however, offer to change that, by convincing the nations to lend support, and even bring in major military aid as well. This is an opportunity they can't ignore, if the countries of the world can't come to aid the Magi with their support.

Morally, however... Well, you get the idea.
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Old 2010-05-26, 15:43   Link #91
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The idea is interesting to say the least. I haven't had much time to read things recently, been too busy writing things. I have been trying to remedy that situation however...I am reading a few stories. Mainly, a new story that, ironically, was started because of my own. See here: James Ray Edward's: Springfield, Ph.D.: A Different Paradigm

While I am happy they began writing this based upon my own story, it makes me feverish to try and improve my style. My story has seen me improve quite a bit, from rustiness to true and solid improvement. It gives a bad first impression, but improves throughout. Makes me worry a bit, mainly those who just read the first chapter and lose interest. worry me most.


Chapter Fourty Eight is out, and personally, this chapter gave me plenty of unrest and problems. Not because of the story itself, but life kept getting in the way. Here's a section of it:

Spoiler for Chapter 48 slice:
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Old 2010-05-26, 18:00   Link #92
deathcurse
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Chapter 4 mostly continues from Chapter 3, so not much action but lots of character.

Love and Duty Come in Chains
Previous chapters
Spoiler for Chapter 4:
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Old 2010-05-26, 23:31   Link #93
isagrimorie
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Chapter 4 mostly continues from Chapter 3, so not much action but lots of character.

Love and Duty Come in Chains
Previous chapters
Spoiler for Chapter 4:
Update! It is *so* good to have Evangeline back and the way she tries to give Setsuna advice in her own Evangeline way.

Quote:
Asuna sighed. It was nice to have someone who agreed with her. “They’re both such idiots. Sometimes, I wonder who’s trying to protect who.”

“—from who,” Evangeline finished, rolling her eyes. “Idiots.”
Hee. Asuna and Evangeline bonding on how dumb Setsuna and Konoka are and then for Evangeline to have the last word? ::hearts::
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Old 2010-05-26, 23:37   Link #94
deathcurse
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I warn you, I don't really get why things are happening , as I don't know D&D or what kind of setting that provides, so I'm going on just what I feel as I'm reading.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurush View Post
Spoiler for #2:


Spoiler for Notes:
Intriguing story idea...

I'm immediately curious as to how the Dean could be cold enough to allow/command this mission to kill Nodoka--my first thoughts were, what kind of events must have happened in this war to justify murder from the good guys? What's at stake, more than just a vague "one million lives", but something concrete that would have some of the more moral characters even considering such a move? Those are the questions I start thinking of right away , which makes me want to keep reading so I can hopefully get some answers.

I also wonder why Setsuna would be missing, and not protecting Konoka...Either she's away by choice (as in, maybe she doesn't agree with what these people are doing), which makes the current group of people pretty hefty bad guys, to force Setsuna to abandon her Ojou-sama; or Setsuna was captured, injured or brainwashed or something.

Quote:
Spoiler for #3:


And there, was the explanation for why there are two factions in this story.

Spoiler for #4:


Spoiler for Notes:
¨
Hm, Negi seems the type who would want to obey his superiors, as he's a really polite and lawful individual, but I can't seem to see him even bothering to stay or continue to acknowledge these people as his superiors if he thinks that what they're doing is morally wrong . So yeah, I can see him chucking his superior officer out the window, but I'd also see him turning around and breaking off to run his own rescue mission...

Quote:
Spoiler for Final entry:
Quote:
"That's a rather poor argument, Negi-kun." Konoka said, bringing out that fact. "But... I feel that you are somewhat right. I know I would do the same for Set-chan if I had the ability."
Having Konoka say this completely knocked me out of my Suspension of Disbelief . Konoka has never seemed like a logical individual to me, but more of an emotional/believe in her heart kind of character. So unless something happened to change her personality (like, a tragedy that destroyed her innocent faith, or some kind of failure) I just can't see this whole part happening at all.

Sorry if some of this is answered already in the sections, as I tried to read the plot narrative but I didn't really get it, so I glossed over those parts . But overall, I find the ideas interesting, but without knowing why any of the Negima cast, who are all idealistic and fiercely loyal to each other, even considering or just allying themselves with people who are plotting to kill one of their friends, keeps me from truly immersing myself into the story. Unless this is a pure AU where the characters all have different backstories that changed their personalities?

Quote:
...Any thoughts on these? I haven't gotten any reviews or so from these two last chapters, so I wonder what people would think of this.

For those who doesn't get it: Aris stood for the idea of sending a strike team off somewhere to eliminate Nodoka, who wasn't at Mahora at the time. Negi on the other hand, rejected the idea completely and stated that they should work together to save her instead.

Practically, the strike team is not such a bad idea. They have little support to begin with, since USA and China (No Offense at all to people here from mentioned countries) refuse to throw in their magi for support to stop an alien invasion since the States claim that it is not a threat to National Security (Note: This is during the Bush regime) and China says they can hold their own against the aliens. Other states and nations, are uncertain or haven't decided due to lack of evidence of an incursion. This is understandable. The Canon Githyanki (Loyalists in story) however, offer to change that, by convincing the nations to lend support, and even bring in major military aid as well. This is an opportunity they can't ignore, if the countries of the world can't come to aid the Magi with their support.

Morally, however... Well, you get the idea.
Ah, this part lets me know that I should probably have read the previous 2 chapters before reading this? Well, all my comments above are based on my feel for the Negima characters, so maybe they're all completely off due to the setting. So take my comments with a grain of salt, I guess?
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Old 2010-05-27, 00:44   Link #95
Merctrin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Chapter 4 mostly continues from Chapter 3, so not much action but lots of character.

Love and Duty Come in Chains
Previous chapters
Spoiler for Chapter 4:
Setsuna, I'd have to say that you have more to feel stupid about than your little kite. And did you know that giggling maniacally with blood in your mouth is one of the sure signs that you're going slightly nuts? ...Which, as it so happens, is kind of enjoyable, especially since it happened around one of the few people who wouldn't address the insanity of it all directly.

Come to think of it, I believe that part of the reason Konoka's idiocy is more bothersome than Setsuna's is that it's kinda expected for Setsuna to act like an idiot about certain things, and her demon heritage and Konoka are at the top of the list. It's unfair, but it just feels like Konoka is supposed to be the more sensible of the two.

Hm. I'm curious now. Do Setsuna's issues with showers have anything to do with the, ah, psycho bitch? Probably completely off the mark, but I just couldn't help asking.

Absolutely loved this, and am desperate for more.
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Old 2010-05-27, 02:18   Link #96
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
Update! It is *so* good to have Evangeline back and the way she tries to give Setsuna advice in her own Evangeline way.

Hee. Asuna and Evangeline bonding on how dumb Setsuna and Konoka are and then for Evangeline to have the last word? ::hearts::
Not only was Evangeline fun to write, but when I thought about who could actually be the kind of inconsiderately blunt personality capable to rubbing Setsuna's face in her failings to try and turn her around, Evangeline was the only one I could think of .

I had mentioned to RB before, but I actually tweaked that scene from where it ended up going just to let Evangeline have that line at the end . It was just too Evangeline to cut out!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
Setsuna, I'd have to say that you have more to feel stupid about than your little kite. And did you know that giggling maniacally with blood in your mouth is one of the sure signs that you're going slightly nuts? ...Which, as it so happens, is kind of enjoyable, especially since it happened around one of the few people who wouldn't address the insanity of it all directly.

Come to think of it, I believe that part of the reason Konoka's idiocy is more bothersome than Setsuna's is that it's kinda expected for Setsuna to act like an idiot about certain things, and her demon heritage and Konoka are at the top of the list. It's unfair, but it just feels like Konoka is supposed to be the more sensible of the two.

Hm. I'm curious now. Do Setsuna's issues with showers have anything to do with the, ah, psycho bitch? Probably completely off the mark, but I just couldn't help asking.

Absolutely loved this, and am desperate for more.
LOL, yeah, Setsuna isn't really walking around with a full deck of cards lately . Part of why I had them go to Mahora to have the lengthy Koyane Ward exposition was so that I could have Setsuna encounter Evangeline in this moment of stupidity .

Ah, that's an interesting way to look at it! I guess Konoka does, despite her ditzy depiction in the manga, seem to be more sensible (in terms of "who cares about that? *GLOMPS Set-chan anyways*), but here I have her be more restrained. It might be a tad out of character, but I'm trying to consider some of the backstory elements that I haven't fully revealed yet that have changed Konoka, as well as the obvious marriage to Kyo thing. I'll keep an eye on how I write Konoka, thanks for pointing that out!

Spoiler for only read this if you actually want to possibly be spoiled for later on:


Hopefully I can get the next chapter out quickly, but I've got an upcoming midterm...(but then again, exam pressure seems to get me churning out more chapters... )
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Old 2010-05-27, 03:16   Link #97
Merctrin
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Spoiler for only read this if you actually want to possibly be spoiled for later on:
Spoiler for response to spoilery material:
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Old 2010-05-27, 03:40   Link #98
Kurush
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
I warn you, I don't really get why things are happening , as I don't know D&D or what kind of setting that provides, so I'm going on just what I feel as I'm reading.



Intriguing story idea...

I'm immediately curious as to how the Dean could be cold enough to allow/command this mission to kill Nodoka--my first thoughts were, what kind of events must have happened in this war to justify murder from the good guys? What's at stake, more than just a vague "one million lives", but something concrete that would have some of the more moral characters even considering such a move? Those are the questions I start thinking of right away , which makes me want to keep reading so I can hopefully get some answers.

I also wonder why Setsuna would be missing, and not protecting Konoka...Either she's away by choice (as in, maybe she doesn't agree with what these people are doing), which makes the current group of people pretty hefty bad guys, to force Setsuna to abandon her Ojou-sama; or Setsuna was captured, injured or brainwashed or something.
That is somehow easy to explain if you've read the whole story, but I'll give you the shortcome: In this scenario, the magi are preparing for a global defense against a magic-wielding race, ergo the Githyanki, and regardless of what the outcome is, Magic will have become open knowledge to the mundane world.

Aristodemus is in charge of the whole operation and he can't act on his emotions, something that the dean would understand as well. They both don't want to kill Nodoka, because she is very dear to Negi. But they are in need of aid, since the Old World governments aren't giving them permission to set their own troops on Earth so they could raise enough defensive ability to hold back the Giths.

As for Setsuna not being with Konoka, she is away by choice, though not because of the disgust of the superiors, but because of what another OC and fellow guardian of the Konoe family (named Rachel for that matter) said to her. Setsuna was also thinking of taking off herself to find Nodoka and bring her back. No matter how much OOC that is to you, she did want to stay away from Konoka in the story to ensure that she would be happy. Knowing that Konoka would be safe with Rachel standing with her, she thought that she could leave. When I update to chapter 36 (soon), you'll see where she is.

Quote:
Hm, Negi seems the type who would want to obey his superiors, as he's a really polite and lawful individual, but I can't seem to see him even bothering to stay or continue to acknowledge these people as his superiors if he thinks that what they're doing is morally wrong . So yeah, I can see him chucking his superior officer out the window, but I'd also see him turning around and breaking off to run his own rescue mission...
Well, look at it this way: Negi joined the war effort completely because he wanted to save Nodoka in the first place. That they want to kill her, makes him feel disgusted with them, but the only reason he doesn't rush off to find her is because he doesn't have a space-ship. Had he one from the start, he would have used it a long time ago to track her down and punish the Big Bad for taking her, but nope, all he's got is a lousy sword to show that he met the Big Bad.

Quote:
Having Konoka say this completely knocked me out of my Suspension of Disbelief . Konoka has never seemed like a logical individual to me, but more of an emotional/believe in her heart kind of character. So unless something happened to change her personality (like, a tragedy that destroyed her innocent faith, or some kind of failure) I just can't see this whole part happening at all.

Sorry if some of this is answered already in the sections, as I tried to read the plot narrative but I didn't really get it, so I glossed over those parts . But overall, I find the ideas interesting, but without knowing why any of the Negima cast, who are all idealistic and fiercely loyal to each other, even considering or just allying themselves with people who are plotting to kill one of their friends, keeps me from truly immersing myself into the story. Unless this is a pure AU where the characters all have different backstories that changed their personalities?
Konoka is not a dumb person. She tends to use logic from time to time, but here, she can only stand by and watch, something she finds awful. She wants to find Setchan most of all, and since she doesn't know where her wife is (YES, I did that to them!), what else can she do?



Quote:
Ah, this part lets me know that I should probably have read the previous 2 chapters before reading this? Well, all my comments above are based on my feel for the Negima characters, so maybe they're all completely off due to the setting. So take my comments with a grain of salt, I guess?
Oh, I took it with salt. I need to take things with salt sometimes, so that I know where I go wrong. I was just hoping for some sort of opinion of it, otherwise I would feel like I was being ignored. I have those feelings.
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Old 2010-05-27, 21:58   Link #99
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Chapter 4 mostly continues from Chapter 3, so not much action but lots of character.

Love and Duty Come in Chains
Previous chapters
Spoiler for Chapter 4:
Well, interesting to see that my predictions on Setsuna's nature becoming more demon-like was correct; also very interesting to see that Evangeline is picking up on the small changes and bits. It makes sense that she would notice Setsuna's behavior and aura changing like that, since she tried so hard to convince Setsuna to give her sword up during the Chao arc. So of course, she can see what others don't want to see; or blind themselves to.

Equally interesting to see that Asuna has put two and two together. She might not be the sharpest character in the set, but when it comes to her friends she makes connections; I'll bet anything that Mana is starting to pick up on the changes too, since she's worked with Setsuna before and knows her well.

Also, the opening segment cracked me up in the best way possible. XD There's just something hilarious about the whole kite and rock concept.

Gotta admit I'm a bit surprised that none of the other members of the main group have made an appearance. I figured that with Konoka in trouble they'd all come running to her aid.

EDIT: .... Bah, okay, I'll say this now because it's seriously bugging me. >>;;;;

I get what you're aiming for with the whole KonoSets angle. I really, really do. But for some reason the execution of it just bugs the ever living hell out of me and makes it hard for me to cheer for their happy ending. I mean, the whole issue is a built up case of miscommunications and secrets and attempts to hide true feelings and fear of confiding in each other. I don't care what kind of hell they go through, that kind of base does not make for a healthy, low lasting relationship. I mean, dammit, Konoka, you bitch; I know Setsuna has a guilt streak a mile wide, but really, do you think you're doing her any favors by hiding something she's starting to figure out on her own? Jesus Christ, I want to reach into the screen and throttle her for that moment.
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Old 2010-05-28, 00:17   Link #100
deathcurse
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Well, interesting to see that my predictions on Setsuna's nature becoming more demon-like was correct; also very interesting to see that Evangeline is picking up on the small changes and bits. It makes sense that she would notice Setsuna's behavior and aura changing like that, since she tried so hard to convince Setsuna to give her sword up during the Chao arc. So of course, she can see what others don't want to see; or blind themselves to.
And it's hilariously ironic, since Setsuna seems to have gone the other way from where she was in the Chao arc, now that she seems to have chosen duty over personal happiness (although maybe not completely...)

Quote:
Equally interesting to see that Asuna has put two and two together. She might not be the sharpest character in the set, but when it comes to her friends she makes connections; I'll bet anything that Mana is starting to pick up on the changes too, since she's worked with Setsuna before and knows her well.

Also, the opening segment cracked me up in the best way possible. XD There's just something hilarious about the whole kite and rock concept.
Yeah, I never thought of Asuna as particularly "street-dumb", especially after you see her in the Magical World arc. And she also had the advantage of actually hearing from Konoka what had happened the Halloween that the Wards were broken, so she was able to connect the dots better than most.

I giggled as I wrote the kite scene , it was just so silly and tragically lame!

Quote:
Gotta admit I'm a bit surprised that none of the other members of the main group have made an appearance. I figured that with Konoka in trouble they'd all come running to her aid.
Some of the old Ala Alba members will be cameo-ing in later chapters, but I really wanted to keep the cast small, as the story is ultimately about Konoka and Setsuna and not about the Ala Alba. Another in-story reason for it is that the Wallwards and the Konoe are being very careful around each other, and the whole situation with the Wards is sort of a symbolic first-collaboration the two families have together. Konoemon had already pushed it by sliding Setsuna (and Mana) into the fray, but too many outsiders would possibly cause the political situation to blow up in their faces.

Even for the possibility of the end of the world, politics come first!

Quote:
EDIT: .... Bah, okay, I'll say this now because it's seriously bugging me. >>;;;;

I get what you're aiming for with the whole KonoSets angle. I really, really do. But for some reason the execution of it just bugs the ever living hell out of me and makes it hard for me to cheer for their happy ending. I mean, the whole issue is a built up case of miscommunications and secrets and attempts to hide true feelings and fear of confiding in each other. I don't care what kind of hell they go through, that kind of base does not make for a healthy, low lasting relationship. I mean, dammit, Konoka, you bitch; I know Setsuna has a guilt streak a mile wide, but really, do you think you're doing her any favors by hiding something she's starting to figure out on her own? Jesus Christ, I want to reach into the screen and throttle her for that moment.
It's fair that it's bugging you, no problem!

Technically, at this point I'm not actually trying to get Konoka and Setsuna together . I've got 4 "story-arcs" for this story, if you will, and I'm just about to close on the first arc, which is setting up just how screwed up they all are. The emotion I was trying to express here is that both Konoka and Setsuna had given up hope of a "happy ending", and so they're both just trying to get through life the best they can, and despite the angst even actually enjoying life at times . (Which, of course, will bring us into the next arc where the real angst starts ...)

I have to say, personally , that I feel sorrier for Konoka actually...since Setsuna can actually mope around and angst, but Konoka has to show a good face for her new in-law family, for her husband who doesn't deserve to get hated for it and who she actually does like, and ultimately be the one responsible if the Wards crash and screw the world over... I dunno, I suppose that I have a bit more sympathy for Konoka because her behaviour affects many people, while Setsuna only affects herself?
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