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Old 2010-05-07, 14:07   Link #21
Miko Miko
Imouto-Chan♥
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: England
Age: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kafriel View Post
Lonely people don't backbite at everyone, and if you take a look at the given examples, we've got: L (the liar) being friends with M's (Miko's) friends and her. She doesn't just lie to them, she pits one against the other, which naturally means that M's friends would stop being L's friends after a while. I think L is trying to alienate M from her other friends and monopolize her attention and friendship in a very obsessive way...and that's the good theory. The bad theory is that she gets some twisted pleasure from watching people fight over her (or her stories, which extend to her), BUT since I'm no specialist, I wouldn't know for sure.
You totally got it there! That's pretty much exactly the scenario.

@FragrantFlora; as for talking to her about this 'problem' I wouldn't even know where to start to be honest.

@Master_Yoma; I did think of doing that.. but I am just not so smart in that department, I wouldn't be able to keep it up.
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Old 2010-05-08, 04:24   Link #22
-KarumA-
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In Maya world, where all is 3D and everything crashes
Age: 26
I'd just stop hanging out with her all together, if she owes people money then demand she pay it back right away and if not go to her parents for it or say you will go to the cops.

Nothing good happens from people like that, I once had a friend who send out suicide notes right on the first day of finals and she did it twice even. We were a tight group of friends and we were crying and so darned worried about her (we all had to do exams that were important for graduation 10 minutes later and nearly all of us failed them) and then we heard she was alright, I seriously felt like going to her house and kicking her ass for making my friends cry as well as myself specially when it happened a second time.

Nothing good will come out of people like that trust me. I haven't seen that friend for years and she is making up worse lies than before. Okay so she has painful joints every now and again but she managed to lie so much about it that she is now living in a huge and cheap condo specially made for handicapped people that are not like her. Because when it was fun she could do all she wanted but as soon as she had to do something she did not like it would be "aawh I'm hurting.." same goes if she had to put effort in for something, she moved to where she is studying but didn't want to put in effort to look for a house/room. I am actually glad I don't hang out with her anymore.

And using rape as an excuse is despicable, it isn't something you should joke around with.. I probably would not have forgiven her for that one and would have cut contact then all together
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Old 2010-05-08, 06:32   Link #23
Miko Miko
Imouto-Chan♥
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: England
Age: 20
^ I know the whole rape lie made me feel sick, and I know it is nothing to joke around with
Her lies cost that man his girlfriend, or at least it's the story I got. (not off her!)

But yeah I am heavily thinking of cutting off contact with her, I don't want her to cause me any more bother.

Thanks for replies everyone! x
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Old 2010-05-26, 18:06   Link #24
Clayton
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: In my own little world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
Hey Everyone!
-Didn't know where to put this or anything, so I put it here.

So I am having so much trouble with a 'friend'. Just recently I have figured out that our friendship has been based on lies for the past 3 years. She has played the guilt card and lied about EVERYTHING! My other friends and I have discussed this and realised she is nothing but a lying manipulative little cow. I don't really want to drop her as a friend but I don't know what to do.

I found out she'd lied to me about being raped.. I thought it was disgusting when I found out she'd lied, I confronted her and she apologised for lying to me and she doesn't know why she did it, but with all my other friends she is still pretending as if it actually happened, when they know full well it didn't!!

She's been completely slagging me off to her friends and she's slagged my friends of to me, she is unbelievable! The only thing's I know about her is that it's one fictional problem after another, trust me it's much more than just the rape lie. It's driving me mad!! She is claiming now that she's being bullied by her best friend. I spoke to her best friend and they've only had a fall out because she owes her best friend 35 and won't give it her.

At the moment she is being totally unbelievable; I walked home from school with her and she told me the plan to hurt her apparent rapist, although he was my friend and I don't want him injured for no reason. But 'apparently' he was sending her dodgy texts and her Mum and brother found out.. I know full well it's a load of bullshit.. so it concerns me why she is continously lying to me.. but when I don't listen or take her seriously she makes me feel bad for it! She tells me how she's always been there for me and how I should do the same. And it's awful.. but I have discussed this with my friends and it's as if she sits at home planning how to make someone get hurt again.

It's as if her whole life revolves around lying and manipulating people and making them feel as low as she does! We don't know how to deal with it, I would feel to guilty just leaving her on her own, I really am too nice.

I really need your advice on how to tackle this sort of behaviour.

Thankies!
See if she can use her powers for your benefit.
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Old 2010-05-26, 22:04   Link #25
Spectacular_Insanity
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Age: 25
Well, you could do any one of these things any of these fine people mentioned....

...or the next time she lies to you, you could just slap her in the face and tell her straight out that you're on to her games and won't put up with them anymore.

That's what I would do if she's really as you describe. There's far, then there's WAY TOO FAR. She's so far over the line that she can't even see the line. The line is a dot to her.
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Old 2010-05-26, 22:17   Link #26
Kudryavka
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2009
To Miko Miko:

I know that you love this girl, but if she's bringing this much trouble around, you really should cut the relationship off with her. She obviously doesn't respect you as a true friend, a person to just hang out with, and from what you described, she may not even respect you as a person with thoughts and feelings. Unless you really love her that much (I can't see anyone loving someone who's like your friend anywhere near this much), then just leave her. Maybe you'll run into her again, and maybe she will have grown up. Maybe she'll be just as bad as she is now. Part of life is meeting new people and clearing out old ones, particularly the ones who threaten your happiness and spiritual well-being.

I'll repeat something I learned in a health class: "Health is the state of well-being that comes from reaching your full potential in all of the five aspects of health: physical, social, mental, emotional, and spiritual." This girl is seriously lowering your health; unless helping her be a better friend will improve your mental/emotional health more than exiting the relationship, then you should leave her alone. Remember, some people don't want to be helped.
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Old 2010-05-26, 22:22   Link #27
yoropa
Director
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
To Miko Miko, I've had something like this come up recently in my life so I guess I'll say from experience:

First, talk to them about it and see if you can change anything. If it persists, then you have no reason to continue talking to them.
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Old 2010-05-26, 22:34   Link #28
Pocky Yoshi
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Beach shores!
Well, when I meet one I just become a wall to them.
It'll seem like I'm listening, but in fact I just want them to bore themselves.
That way, I can end the conversation with a brief
Spoiler for Wait for it:
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Old 2010-05-26, 22:51   Link #29
james0246
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: East Cupcake
How to deal with Manipulative People...? Be more manipulative....
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