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Old 2010-06-14, 08:40   Link #25441
WarpObscura
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
It's a nice piece, however I think you should focus on writing something to establish things like how they fell in love and got together. Right now it feels like jumping into the middle of a movie. I have no idea what they were talking about when they were worried some one was following them.
Truth be told, I don't know how to write the establishing piece here. I have a vague conception of Yuuno freeing Rein from the seal and putting down the defence programme, the ending of which I had here, and the thought that this... mess would get started when Hayate realises that her "real wish" was to get the Book to bang Yuuno for her (I have got to finish working on that doujin). However, I have no idea how Yuuno is supposed to go about doing the former.

Also, mention of the Sissies was intended as a shout out, but in my usual moon logic lateral-thinking-needed fashion. I'll finish the omake and put up the explanation of the intended references.

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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Also, I don't think Yuuno would say "Aw hell naw"

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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
That's an interesting fic... *nods* YuunoxReinforce? ...Do want?

Maybe? I'd be interested in knowing where you go with this.
Truth be told? I was thinking of doing a twoshot for the night before, but I'm not sure what the ladies and gents could be doing on their sides. If you have any suggestions for what to ramble about, please do tell.

There are only so many times and ways you can do a wedding scene, so I put that thought out of mind, though the idea of Zwei and Vita as flower girls is just hilarious.

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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
All righty, so I finally have my own Yuuno/Materials fic ready to go, so here it is!

Materials no Jikan trans: Time of Materials

Spoiler for Materials no Jikan:
To be honest, I thought D would be trying to nod off whenever she could as a show of contempt. Saw it in one of those Pixiv illustrations with the three.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
Spoiler for Material Days IV:
Pointed out a coupla' spelling errors, but all is otherwise well.
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Old 2010-06-14, 09:02   Link #25442
Yasanagi
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Yeah, I saw that typo but I already posted the episode to the Addventure.

Also, aside from the Nanoha wiki, any other place where I can find detailed info on how spacecraft in the Nanoha verse works? I'm tinkering around with the designs for Yuuno's personal shuttlecraft.
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Old 2010-06-14, 10:15   Link #25443
Jimmy C
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There are no details on how Nanohaverse ships work. The closest we've got is the Cradle's main reactor, which looked like a gigantic artifical Linker Core. But then, that ship is a Lost Logia, so we don't know if present-day ships still run on the same principle.
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Old 2010-06-14, 10:49   Link #25444
synaesthetic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
There are no details on how Nanohaverse ships work. The closest we've got is the Cradle's main reactor, which looked like a gigantic artifical Linker Core. But then, that ship is a Lost Logia, so we don't know if present-day ships still run on the same principle.
The workings of a specific Bureau warship are somewhat described in the false light prequel fic, The Call. I basically took this cue from StrikerS and described the reactors as really big artificial Linker Cores.

As far as canon goes... there's no information at all. This is awesome for us, because it means we get to make shit up!
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Old 2010-06-14, 11:11   Link #25445
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That I don't mind but I'm a bit worried that whatever designs I may have in mind won't really fit in with the universe mechanics. Then again, I was thinking of handwaving it off as the ship being an alien design as a gift to Yuuno after cracking some ancient mystery for them.
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Old 2010-06-14, 11:26   Link #25446
WarpObscura
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Well, here's the slightly revised version of Nonexistent Future and its omake.

Spoiler for Nonexistent Future:


Reference List (Read at own peril if you haven't caught them all):

Spoiler:


Omake?

Spoiler for Omake:
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Old 2010-06-14, 13:38   Link #25447
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A short, featuring Miranda, since I haven't done one of those in awhile. I'm honestly a little mixed on this piece, but it was an idea I had that I wanted to get out.

Spoiler for Building Tolerance:


No real comments this time around; Miranda is still alive, so that by itself should say where this takes place during the Shadowverse timeline.
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Old 2010-06-14, 16:28   Link #25448
synaesthetic
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Well, Celica never has to worry about Lutecia drinking all the beer in her fridge...

Quote:
Originally Posted by WarpObscura View Post
Reference List (Read at own peril if you haven't caught them all):

Spoiler:
I lol'd pretty hard, especially over the November 11 bit.
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Old 2010-06-14, 18:04   Link #25449
00-Raiser
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WarpObscura View Post
Truth be told, I don't know how to write the establishing piece here. I have a vague conception of Yuuno freeing Rein from the seal and putting down the defence programme, the ending of which I had here, and the thought that this... mess would get started when Hayate realises that her "real wish" was to get the Book to bang Yuuno for her (I have got to finish working on that doujin). However, I have no idea how Yuuno is supposed to go about doing the former.
Hm... I'm thinking maybe since in this timeline Reinforce sticks around after A's, perhaps she works together with Yuuno in the library since she has first hand experience of past conflicts and stuff. They become close, and when Yuuno grows up to appear as a similar age to Reinforce, the chemisty between them changes, if you understand what I'm saying.

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Omake?

Spoiler for Omake:
Heh, I guess they would stand out, especially Reinforce with her hair At least I know who Selvaria is
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Old 2010-06-14, 18:51   Link #25450
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Well, Celica never has to worry about Lutecia drinking all the beer in her fridge...
Yeah, Lutecia is definitely not an alcholic or interested in beer/wine that much at all. She'll have a glass at most, but otherwise she prefers her cherry Coke.

Or Vivio's lips. *shot*
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Old 2010-06-14, 19:09   Link #25451
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Poor Vivio. Can't even ply Cia with drink to get her into bed.

Vivio: *kicks bottle* Dammit.
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Old 2010-06-14, 19:21   Link #25452
RadiantBeam
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Poor Vivio. Can't even ply Cia with drink to get her into bed.

Vivio: *kicks bottle* Dammit.
Not that she's ever thought of that method...

...

... Much...
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Old 2010-06-14, 21:24   Link #25453
DezoPenguin
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
A short, featuring Miranda, since I haven't done one of those in awhile. I'm honestly a little mixed on this piece, but it was an idea I had that I wanted to get out.

Spoiler for Building Tolerance:


No real comments this time around; Miranda is still alive, so that by itself should say where this takes place during the Shadowverse timeline.
I like the gap between what Miranda says she's doing and what she's actually up to. Very Shadowy. Or mom-like. Or both.

(Also telling that Lutecia's reflex is to assume that Miranda's going to make fun of her about Vivio.)
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Old 2010-06-14, 23:04   Link #25454
00-Raiser
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This is a short about Vita's past and present. I dedicate this one to Nanya, a true friend

Spoiler for Cold No Longer:


Spoiler for note:


Also uploaded Materials no Jikan to FF.net. It was originally gonna be a short, but it ended up being long enough (by my standards) to stand alone.
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Old 2010-06-14, 23:12   Link #25455
Nanya01
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
This is a short about Vita's past and present. I dedicate this one to Nanya, a true friend

Spoiler for Cold No Longer:


Spoiler for note:


Also uploaded Materials no Jikan to FF.net. It was originally gonna be a short, but it ended up being long enough (by my standards) to stand alone.
That was nice. Warmed my heart. I feel bad for Vita in the past, but Hayate made things work out for them all.

Amazing what being treated like a family member does to a person.
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Old 2010-06-15, 04:48   Link #25456
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Spoiler for Vengeance on Darkness; 2 -The Tome:
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Old 2010-06-15, 12:34   Link #25457
synaesthetic
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some other kinda fic!

Not false light, but still has Lutecia & Celica! (Actually it's a prequel-ish thing.)

Also too big to fit in one post, so I shall double-post, for great justice!

Edit: Oh yeah, and it's also on FF.net right... here.

The Call (rev. 2)
The Shiva Incident

Spoiler for The Call (Part I):
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Old 2010-06-15, 12:36   Link #25458
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continued

Spoiler for The Call (Part II):


Spoiler for author's notes:
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Last edited by synaesthetic; 2010-06-16 at 11:03. Reason: rev. 2
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Old 2010-06-15, 18:14   Link #25459
DezoPenguin
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Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
Spoiler for The Call (Part II):


Spoiler for author's notes:
Very fun fic! It's really only got one serious flaw, which is that being set in MC0081, it's set in Lutecia's pre-Miranda's-death days, which means that her "cool and competent professional" demeanor is a bit off, and the "unofficially the director's right hand" status is definitely off. (Her regret over Fiore's death is also very much in-character for post-Miranda Lutecia, when she started to become somewhat obsessive about carrying out her missions with the absolute minimum of collateral damage).

I'd suggest a date of MC0083, which would put things in nicely for Lutecia's characterization (including seeing Celica and Fiore, perhaps, make Lutecia more likely to act in "Never Confessed") and make Tizona seem a little more "cutting edge" (I'm assuming that he actually gets regular upgrades as Magitech Marches On, unless MGLN exists within the zone of standard sci-fi technology stasis), except that would immediately screw up Celica's history (okay, personally I'd find 20 and 15 a little less......than 18 and 13 for Celica and Fiore's ages, but that's got nothing to do with the background) and the extent of her NSIS service.

Let's see...the following paragraph uses "blaster barrel" twice in the same sentence, so some rewriting of that sentence would be good:

Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic
"That won't be enough," Celica clucked disapprovingly. Fiore smiled sheepishly and brought Glanzfaust to bear, sighting down the snub-nosed blaster barrel, firing a vicious barrage of green-glowing magical projectiles from the blaster barrel fitted on the Device's main body.
Spoiler for Spoilers referenced in complimentary review comments:


Hm...oh, and heteronormative assumptions are heteronormative; I never realized Celica was bi. Now I feel embarrassed.

Oh, and for a quick reference, I've been trying to compile a timeline of Shadowverse stories, to get them more or less in order:
Spoiler for Shadowverse timeline (unofficial):

Last edited by DezoPenguin; 2010-06-15 at 21:05. Reason: Looked up sniperk
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Old 2010-06-15, 18:26   Link #25460
TheShinySword
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Not that she's ever thought of that method...

...

... Much...
Valiant effort Vivio, Valiant effort

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