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Old 2010-09-22, 09:32   Link #27181
arkhangelsk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNobleJr View Post
You know, as much as Sette is still entertainingly clueless, I think Wendi steals the spotlight in this chapter. Her hyperactivity just overshadows everything else right from the operation name all the way to the arcade. Not that letting her take over occasionally is a problem; I nearly fell out of my chair laughing multiple times due to her antics.
Wendi is stealing the spotlight, but not only is this Sette's story, I must say the Wendi hand is getting a bit overplayed this round. She may tend towards the hyperactive among the Numbers, and the idea of this kind of comedy is to stretch prominent attributes of characters, but at some point it starts to provoke more 違和感 than laughter, kind of like anime eyes once they expand past a point.

Though maybe it is just that I don't like really hyperactive (anime standards) characters.
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Old 2010-09-22, 10:06   Link #27182
Moczo
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Well, don't worry too much. Obviously a big part of the story is Sette's interactions with other characters; Wendi just happened to come first. And really, it would have been odd if her personality didn't totally overpower Sette's given that Sette has, at this point, very little personality to overpower.
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Old 2010-09-22, 10:10   Link #27183
SNobleJr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arkhangelsk View Post
Wendi is stealing the spotlight, but not only is this Sette's story, I must say the Wendi hand is getting a bit overplayed this round. She may tend towards the hyperactive among the Numbers, and the idea of this kind of comedy is to stretch prominent attributes of characters, but at some point it starts to provoke more 違和感 than laughter, kind of like anime eyes once they expand past a point.

Though maybe it is just that I don't like really hyperactive (anime standards) characters.
To each their own, I suppose; I didn't really mind it, the rambling, out-loud trains of thought were rather entertaining, I'd say.

Anyway, I doubt Moczo would let her go on like this for the rest of the story, and I don't have a problem with Wendi getting some extra attention for one chapter.

Also, you lost me at the moonrunes (though I can guess at the gist of it from context).
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Old 2010-09-22, 10:49   Link #27184
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The official sequel to the first series. Wallachia is back, ready for more mindless gore.

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=[The Erebus Factor]=
Spoiler for Prologue: Death:
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Old 2010-09-22, 11:44   Link #27185
shiroi mahotsukai
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Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
The official sequel to the first series. Wallachia is back, ready for more mindless gore.

Profiles
=[The Erebus Factor]=
Spoiler for Prologue: Death:
I liked it, especially the ending and the cut off point gave the perfect impression of Rick's life just ending with the blades in this brain. By the way, what was the original called, I think it would make a good read.
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Old 2010-09-22, 12:03   Link #27186
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shiroi mahotsukai View Post
I liked it, especially the ending and the cut off point gave the perfect impression of Rick's life just ending with the blades in this brain. By the way, what was the original called, I think it would make a good read.
You can find most of my stuff here. Look for Wallachia Chronicles. Mind they are quite old so quality is lacking.

(The Monster in the Tunnel and 3 Sisters and a dinner are AU.)
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Old 2010-09-22, 12:28   Link #27187
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNobleJr View Post
First off... well, I have to admit, the part with the priest was a little too sappy for my tastes (although at least it gave us the "try not to kill any more priests" line, that was pretty funny). It didn't ruin the ending, no, but I still think the fic could have done without it; Due spending her first Christmas with her new family is already a sweet and happy way to finish the story.

That being said, I did enjoy the fic overall. On the surface, it's kiddified!Due acting cute and unintentionally worming her way into just about everyone's heart, and that's nicely rounded out by the serious implications of the psychological damage she suffered while homeless (which turns more hopeful as she slowly begins to heal). That, and her dramatic confrontation with the older Numbers in chapter 4; bloody hell, Quattro is quite the bitch - not that that's anything new, but her behavior was still quite the punch in the gut for poor Due and the reader alike.

So yeah, minor gripes about the finale aside, this was a fun read. Not to mention that it accomplished the impossible by making Due likable.

Side note on Tempy's alternate ending (or, well, alternate-finding-Due, at least): great little addition to the story. Actually, I kind of prefer this over the saved-by-the-priest deus ex machina; sure, Kevin being around at just the right time is a bit convenient, but it's still more plausible in my opinion. Also, the "crumbs everywhere" gag cracked me up.
Well, the priest thing was so that people knew who it was.

I wonder, should I take it out for the FF.Net version?

What do you guys think?

Just have it be a random guy that saved her instead of the priest?

Besides, there's always more to a story, isn't there?

*chuckles*
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Old 2010-09-22, 12:35   Link #27188
spawnofthejudge
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Beyond the Edge
Chapter Nine: Contact
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5651895/9/Beyond_the_Edge

"Stand down! I am Enforcer Teana Lanster of the TSAB. One of you is performing dangerous magic, and I demand you cease immediately or face consequences! If you stand down now, you will be allowed a trial!"

...Is anyone in this thread actually reading this? Should I bother the thread with these announcements? (I like writing these things, but if no one reading the thread cares, I don't want to clutter)
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Old 2010-09-22, 14:22   Link #27189
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I'm reading it, so that's at least one person in this thread.
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Old 2010-09-22, 15:26   Link #27190
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Originally Posted by SilentOutlaw View Post
I'm reading it, so that's at least one person in this thread.
Good enough. I just didn't want to waste space.
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Old 2010-09-22, 15:40   Link #27191
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
*Ahem* One part left after this one.

Spoiler for Due Part 5:


Previous parts.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Tempy's "Hijack"

Edit:
Spoiler for Notes:
Guessing before I read the final part:

Spoiler for guess:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Spoiler for But I thought...:
There's no mention what happened to that priest. I wrote a fic where she did kill him, though. It just makes more sense to tie up such a loose end.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, you wanted to know, here you go.

Spoiler for Due Final:


Spoiler for Notes:


Previous parts.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Tempy's "Hijack"
Part 5
Ah, so it was him. Well it's nice that Due can have a happy life now. Good story, Nanya

Quote:
Originally Posted by shiroi mahotsukai View Post
Here’s a little thing I wrote during a break between English and French homework last night. It was preventing me from concentrating so I just had to write it to get it out of my head.

Spoiler for A Bit Too Far:


Spoiler for Notes:
Oh dear, I thought it'd be all serious and dramatic, but at the end... After being shunned so long it's not surprising he'd develop Münchausen's.

Good fic, I liked it
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Old 2010-09-22, 17:20   Link #27192
SNobleJr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
Beyond the Edge
Chapter Nine: Contact

...Is anyone in this thread actually reading this? Should I bother the thread with these announcements? (I like writing these things, but if no one reading the thread cares, I don't want to clutter)
I've read what's up so far, yeah. Pretty good story, though admittedly it's only kicking into high gear now. So yeah, I wouldn't object to heads-ups here.
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Old 2010-09-22, 17:23   Link #27193
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
Beyond the Edge
Chapter Nine: Contact
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5651895/9/Beyond_the_Edge

"Stand down! I am Enforcer Teana Lanster of the TSAB. One of you is performing dangerous magic, and I demand you cease immediately or face consequences! If you stand down now, you will be allowed a trial!"

...Is anyone in this thread actually reading this? Should I bother the thread with these announcements? (I like writing these things, but if no one reading the thread cares, I don't want to clutter)
I follow it. I find it so very epic. Sorry for not reviewing, though.
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Old 2010-09-22, 18:35   Link #27194
Nanya01
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Just posted Due part 4 to FF.Net
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Old 2010-09-22, 20:37   Link #27195
Kaijo
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Future Tense
Chapter 18: Price

In which Nanoha becomes a target, gains help from an unexpected and mysterious ally, while Teana begins her trip into the deeper mysterious surrounding Hayate's regime....

Previous chapters can be found here.

Spoiler for Future Tense, Chapter 18: Price:


Been over two weeks since my last update, so sorry about that. But the good news is that the next chapter is mostly written, and thus I hope to get it out within a week. For those who have been keeping up with this, I promise the next chapter will be very special, and hopefully quite enjoyable.^^

Of course, the next few chapters after that should be quite interesting, too, heh....
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Old 2010-09-22, 21:00   Link #27196
Nanya01
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I'm thinking either Cinque or Dieci saved Nanoha here...

I just do.

Hmm...

*thinks*

Could be Isis too.
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Old 2010-09-22, 22:08   Link #27197
Tabasco
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Sounds about right. Either way I'm looking forward to finding out.
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Old 2010-09-22, 22:33   Link #27198
00-Raiser
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Here's something I've been meaning to write for awhile. It takes place after Vivid chapter 16 and features Lutecia and Erio.

Spoiler for Aftermath:
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Old 2010-09-22, 22:36   Link #27199
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Here's something I've been meaning to write for awhile. It takes place after Vivid chapter 16 and features Lutecia and Erio.

Spoiler for Aftermath:
After reading this, I get the feeling Fate had a very interesting time explaining the birds and the bees to Caro and Erio when they were old enough....
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Old 2010-09-22, 22:38   Link #27200
Nanya01
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BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Raiser, funny! XD

I LOVED Lu's last line!

“Damn it, she’s adorable! How am I supposed to beat that?!”

So Lutecia there! XD

Awesome!

Page Claim for silly Fate and awesome Lutecia!
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