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Old 2010-10-14, 00:41   Link #27401
PhoenixFlare
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempy View Post
*snip*

Written in two hours on the fly with no planning or revision.
Some "accidents" are meant to happen!

Good work, Erio, you've definitely grown as a man to tackle such a tigress--

*is Shiden Issen'd*
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Old 2010-10-14, 00:50   Link #27402
MeisterBabylon
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I'd hate to imagine what Caro and Lulu would do next.
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Old 2010-10-14, 00:58   Link #27403
Tiresias
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I'd love to imagine what would've happen had Caro been standing next right to him

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Last edited by Tiresias; 2010-10-14 at 01:09.
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Old 2010-10-14, 01:07   Link #27404
Rising Dragon
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Originally Posted by Tiresias View Post
I'd love to imagine what would've happen had Caro been standing next right to him
Voltaire likely would've joined them shortly.
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Old 2010-10-14, 01:08   Link #27405
LoweGear
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Originally Posted by Tiresias View Post
I'd love to imagine what would've happen had Caro been standing next right to him
She'd look like your avatar

Caro: Erio-kun, make me pregnant too~

And then Erio and Caro dissapeared for 40 days and 40 nights...
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Old 2010-10-14, 06:16   Link #27406
shiroi mahotsukai
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Could Erio withstand the temptation.
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Old 2010-10-14, 06:53   Link #27407
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Originally Posted by shiroi mahotsukai View Post
Could Erio withstand the temptation.
Didn't the wise saying goes: "Those who resist'th temptation are weak of heart"?

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Old 2010-10-14, 08:20   Link #27408
shiroi mahotsukai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Didn't the wise saying goes: "Those who resist'th temptation are weak of heart"?

I'll take your word for it, be strong Erio, in body and in heart. You'll need both if I'm not mistaken.
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Old 2010-10-14, 09:54   Link #27409
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempy View Post
I blame Nanya for this one.

Shockingly, no OCs, but full of canon characters.

Spoiler for Surprise:
Written in two hours on the fly with no planning or revision.
OH SHI--

Run, Erio! Run like the wind! It might not do much good, but it's still worth a shot!
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Old 2010-10-14, 10:47   Link #27410
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Well, I'm back.

Spoiler for Material Days 44:
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Old 2010-10-14, 11:32   Link #27411
shiroi mahotsukai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, I'm back.

Spoiler for Material Days 44:
Tension is building it seems, I can't imagine how Yuuno is going to take the news that his mind has been bent. Uno dropped a bombshell didn't she, i wonder how Sette was affected by that mentally, it's got to be disheartening hasn't it?
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Old 2010-10-14, 11:42   Link #27412
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, I'm back.

Spoiler for Material Days 44:
Hm, I see you didn't use my suggested of adding Uno to the party as well. That would have made things better, because as it stands Sette alone joining the group makes her the odd man out. She really has no business being there so her addition just feels like a blatant self indulgence on the authors' part.

Sette's reaction to what Uno told her seemed off to me. I know Sette's supposedly changed since StrikerS, but her portrayals in previous chapters shows she's still got her calm, calculating attitude with a newfound caring for the lives of others. So for her to get visable mad like that is too much too soon. If she were to get mad I imagine it would be the cold and numb variety, not the impulsive "I want to crush something" variety.

The bit with Yami and Seikou is good, though I'd add a bit where Yami explains that she cares about the safety of the other Materials not because she likes them or anything but because it'd be a shame to lose such capable subordinates. I think that would be more in character for her.
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Old 2010-10-14, 11:48   Link #27413
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, I'm back.

Spoiler for Material Days 44:
Nice, and it's raising the point that I made in our conversation: am I supposed to find the Materials sympathetic? I mean, obviously they have sympathetic aspects, but Yami has been mind-raping Yuuno, and Rai has admitted, openly, to enjoying murder. Seikou's not as bad, but she still has her rough patches too. I'm getting to the point where I'm not sure if I want them to have a happy ending, because while there are signs of them being changed by their association with Yuuno, there are many more signs that they really ought to be kept off the streets...

Yuuno's reaction to what has happened, both in the prison and in his head, and how the girls responsible for these things react to his reactions... I think that's a major turning point in whether you can honestly call these girls redeemable, or just plain Villain Protagonists. Looking forward to the answer.
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Old 2010-10-14, 11:49   Link #27414
Tiresias
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Is it bad that whenever I hear Material Days, the ones that came into mind were Heidi and Tohma ?

Still, new chapter. Yay!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, I'm back.

Spoiler for Material Days 44:
The interaction between Uno and Sette strikes me as a bit odd, but I'll wait for how Sette reacted afterwards.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Yuuno's reaction to what has happened, both in the prison and in his head, and how the girls responsible for these things react to his reactions... I think that's a major turning point in whether you can honestly call these girls redeemable, or just plain Villain Protagonists. Looking forward to the answer.
This is interesting. Right now I'm guessing a similar fate with the reformed Numbers, but there's plenty more events to happen...
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Old 2010-10-14, 12:14   Link #27415
Nanya01
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I'm not going to say that last bit didn't have problems with it.

But I'd rather write something down, have people point out that "hey, there's flaws here" and be able to change it than having people say nothing and just continue on.

But, yes, Moczo, I did put that there as a result of our talk.
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Old 2010-10-14, 12:28   Link #27416
shiroi mahotsukai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Nice, and it's raising the point that I made in our conversation: am I supposed to find the Materials sympathetic? I mean, obviously they have sympathetic aspects, but Yami has been mind-raping Yuuno, and Rai has admitted, openly, to enjoying murder. Seikou's not as bad, but she still has her rough patches too. I'm getting to the point where I'm not sure if I want them to have a happy ending, because while there are signs of them being changed by their association with Yuuno, there are many more signs that they really ought to be kept off the streets...

Yuuno's reaction to what has happened, both in the prison and in his head, and how the girls responsible for these things react to his reactions... I think that's a major turning point in whether you can honestly call these girls redeemable, or just plain Villain Protagonists. Looking forward to the answer.
You raise an interesting point, twisting a man's mind to make him believe he has abondoned his morals is, in my opinion, worse than twisting his arm and using force to make him to do something he believes in wrong.

All the materials have done some very questionable thing on very shaky ground. Seikou killing those religious fanatics because their beliefs offended her, Rai threatening to murder everyone in a prison colony and Yami brain-washing Yuuno. I don't know that I'd say it makes any of them completely irredeemable but it's definitly a step towards the Moral Event Horizon.
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Old 2010-10-14, 13:15   Link #27417
SNobleJr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, I'm back.

Spoiler for Material Days 44:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Sette's reaction to what Uno told her seemed off to me. I know Sette's supposedly changed since StrikerS, but her portrayals in previous chapters shows she's still got her calm, calculating attitude with a newfound caring for the lives of others. So for her to get visable mad like that is too much too soon. If she were to get mad I imagine it would be the cold and numb variety, not the impulsive "I want to crush something" variety.
Actually, considering that at that point she'd just been told exactly how much she'd been exploited by the man she considered a father figure, I'd say her reaction was still very much stoic and controlled compared to how an average person would have behaved in her place.

What we most likely agree upon, though, is that the poor girl desperately needs a big, reassuring hug after these recent events.
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Old 2010-10-14, 15:32   Link #27418
Sheba
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempy View Post
I blame Nanya for this one.

Shockingly, no OCs, but full of canon characters.

Spoiler for Surprise:
Written in two hours on the fly with no planning or revision.
I was wondering if the idea was sparkled by a certain set of NSFW Signum pics that were uploaded on danbooru.

A good fic that had me laughing in the "Signum. Pregnant. What" line. While everyone are thinking of what Caro and Lutecia might do to the TSAB Playboy, I wonder what would happen to Fate who is basically his adoptive mother. Oh, can you hear the others making fun of her with "Baba! Baba!"?

And what about the male personel of the TSAB? I can bet you that one part would be worshipping him, while the others would seek his head for daring knocking up their "waifu".
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Old 2010-10-14, 22:41   Link #27419
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I r in ur Shadowverse, writing ur AUz.

...

Wait, what?

Spoiler for Left Unsaid:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


It Only Hurts
Curiosity Killed
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Old 2010-10-15, 04:06   Link #27420
Tiresias
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looks like I'll be continuing this afterall.

Right. The first and second chapter of Stars of Liberty has gotten some major overhaul:
Spoiler for chapter 1:


Spoiler for chapter 2:


Also, a new chapter:
Spoiler for chapter 3:
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