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Old 2010-10-17, 07:04   Link #21
Chimuts
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Now I am really curious of what is going to happen in the next part!
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Old 2010-10-18, 00:48   Link #22
Daniel E.
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Sora, forgot to mention this in an earlier post, but you can keep a general index of all your entries in the first post of your thread by adding text links whenever you make an update in another post.

Kinda like this....

~The Monk and the Poet ~
-Enlightenment-


Once your thread grows several pages long, it would become rather time consuming to check all the posts in each page to look for your updates; With a general index, all you would need to do is direct people to the first page of the thread and voila!
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Old 2010-10-18, 01:50   Link #23
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sora Kasugano View Post
Here is another installment of "Forbidden Desire" I hope you all like it~ I'm putting them out in small sections because I like how it reads. Normally when I write a short story I do it this way as well. Bit by bit the reader gets the story and what is going on~ Think of the first part as a kind of prologue the story will eventually catch up to that point. So without further ado~ the beginning:

Spoiler for Forbidden Desire: Part 1:
Very interesting and detailed story indeed

Mrs. Copper: A perfectionist that cannot stand the sight of something not done right (or simply a person who does not like things that are not straightened, cleaned, otherwise messy)

Mr.Winston: A man who was shot down at life during a young age (from my assumptions) catching some sort of disease that was said to kill him (again assumptions) seeing the world from his own eyes, that people are merely disgusting shells of who they really are (fake expressions, fake kindness) that god has forsaken this planet to lies, that he wanted to make a living body that is not affected by the taint of taint, corruption, lies, things from a human body. That he would not feel shunned by his appearance around her, and live a happy life with.

But my thoughts come in when thats said... I'm getting alot of thoughts....

1st thought: The title "Forbidden Desire" could be that the experiment will fail, and Mr.Winston will just have to live a daily life, since he will eventually run out of money. That his forbidden desire will lead him to some other female, that actually shows "real" kindness towards him.

2nd thought: The experiment actually does work, but with alot of effort having to be put in it. But it was finally completed, and Mr.Winston can live with his newly created living body.
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Old 2010-10-18, 02:05   Link #24
Yuno
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Ah I see, once again you are so very helpful Daniel. I will work on that right away~ It would serve as an index much like in a book. Your idea is absolutely brilliant~

Hehe, I love your character analysis Hooves, I think you have Mr. Winston down quite well- as we llas Mrs. Cooper. As for your thoughts you'll have to wait and see ^.- The next installment is coming very soon~

Last edited by Yuno; 2010-10-18 at 02:18.
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Old 2010-10-18, 02:31   Link #25
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sora Kasugano View Post
Ah I see, once again you are so very helpful Daniel. I will work on that right away~ It would serve as an index much like in a book. Your idea is absolutely brilliant~

Hehe, I love your character analysis Hooves, I think you have Mr. Winston down quite well- as we llas Mrs. Cooper. As for your thoughts you'll have to wait and see ^.- The next installment is coming very soon~
I was surprised by what Daniel said also very helpful

I come up with silly thoughts of possible endings, always good to keep possible developments in mind as a story goes on from what I was taught.
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Old 2010-10-18, 02:38   Link #26
Yuno
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Daniel is like a little bird that comes to me and tells me such important things. I feel as priviledged as Xi Wangmu~

I agree with you Hooves~ It is a good way to engage what you are reading. I should have more to read very soon. I was going to today, but my condition worsened briefly~
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Old 2010-10-18, 04:34   Link #27
Hiroi Sekai
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Dropping in to mention that the archive is a great idea indeed~

Also, I wanted to personally thank you for sharing those sayings with me, I have and always will archive them on my page^.^
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Old 2010-10-18, 04:45   Link #28
Yuno
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*Blush* You are most welcome, it has been fun sharing our views back and forth. I hope others shall find solace in them in some way.
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Old 2010-10-18, 22:35   Link #29
Chimuts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel E. View Post
Sora, forgot to mention this in an earlier post, but you can keep a general index of all your entries in the first post of your thread by adding text links whenever you make an update in another post.

Kinda like this....

~The Monk and the Poet ~
-Enlightenment-


Once your thread grows several pages long, it would become rather time consuming to check all the posts in each page to look for your updates; With a general index, all you would need to do is direct people to the first page of the thread and voila!
Great thinking! you are always full of good ideas
and nice character analysis Hooves ^.^ and If I may add to it Mrs. Copper is also a stubborn person and she likes to gossip around.
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Old 2010-10-18, 22:42   Link #30
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimuts View Post
Great thinking! you are always full of good ideas
and nice character analysis Hooves ^.^ and If I may add to it Mrs. Copper is also a stubborn person and she likes to gossip around.
Well that is a new add I never noticed any stubborn traits from Mrs.Copper when I read it.. Maybe i missed something o.o
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Old 2010-10-18, 22:44   Link #31
Chimuts
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well despite of being ignored, she doesn't leave until she finish what she came to do, so I guess that made her stubborn
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Old 2010-10-18, 22:49   Link #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimuts View Post
well despite of being ignored, she doesn't leave until she finish what she came to do, so I guess that made her stubborn
Oh, when she kept knocking on the door till Mr. Winston eventually answered now I see where the stubbornness is getting at.
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Old 2010-10-18, 22:56   Link #33
Yuno
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Here is the next part of Forbidden Desire. I'm so happy to see people discussing my characters~ You are right Chimuts she is quite a stubborn person. More of her character is revealed in this next installment~

Spoiler for Forbidden Desire: Part 2:
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Old 2010-10-18, 23:24   Link #34
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sora Kasugano View Post
Here is the next part of Forbidden Desire. I'm so happy to see people discussing my characters~ You are right Chimuts she is quite a stubborn person. More of her character is revealed in this next installment~

Spoiler for Forbidden Desire: Part 2:
Mr. Winston has the traits of being a pedophile o.o

But to be serious, it seems that Mr. Winston tends to use what he has been given to create his "dream girl" since he cannot obtain a soul from the ingredients from his book, and the fact that the girl had the black hair of his dream girl. He will simply use whatever powers he has, and eventually re-sculpture her face to resemble what he wants it to look like, as well as everything else that he finds somewhat disgusting.

But after being alone for so long, Mr. Winston felt that he couldn't just be lonely again in this world, he just took the offer to not feel lonely anymore. But it was hilarious how he went into fantasy land during the discussion with "Mrs.Cooper" I thought it was Mrs.Copper and the other 2 guys. Its also hilarious how his entire imagination is shattered I also see even more features of Mrs.Cooper being stubborn

Mei seems to be a young girl that has been severely scarred in the past, with the burnt mark. It could be the fact that her parents died when she was very young during a fire, or any other disaster, murder case in which could leave a burnt mark. But she also loves trying out new things it seems, with her large suitcase full of accessories, it seems that she likes to change her looks very often. She is also very timid about being a "house keeper" since its probably her first time by the way she acts (or maybe she is very experienced with it, but the sight of Mr. Winston gave her a studder) or maybe its the fact that she just likes to work around the house without communicating with who was with her.
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Old 2010-10-18, 23:34   Link #35
Yuno
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Hehe I am glad you enjoy it. Winston's age is revealed in the next installment as they will be talking about a topic that will set him off... He is definitely very odd due to his loneliness, it and his illness seems to be taking it's toll on him. So much so that the other villagers are beginning to notice.

Your character analysis of Mei is really good! I am glad that you liked her. She is definitely an interesting character, I hope to reveal bit by bit as time goes on. She is indeed a young girl, but Winston is so hell bent on finding out how young. I hope I was clear in my writing that the clothes are big on her because she isn't yet an adult.

I'm so happy to share this story with everyone~ If people like this one I might share "The Serpents Daughter"after "Forbidden Desire"
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Old 2010-10-18, 23:57   Link #36
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sora Kasugano View Post
Hehe I am glad you enjoy it. Winston's age is revealed in the next installment as they will be talking about a topic that will set him off... He is definitely very odd due to his loneliness, it and his illness seems to be taking it's toll on him. So much so that the other villagers are beginning to notice.

Your character analysis of Mei is really good! I am glad that you liked her. She is definitely an interesting character, I hope to reveal bit by bit as time goes on. She is indeed a young girl, but Winston is so hell bent on finding out how young. I hope I was clear in my writing that the clothes are big on her because she isn't yet an adult.

I'm so happy to share this story with everyone~ If people like this one I might share "The Serpents Daughter"after "Forbidden Desire"
Well, with loneliness being involved, he is not used to actually chatting with people because of that reason. Since he is mostly locked inside his room for the majority of his time, he is not used to actually chatting with people in person, and not behind a door in which he tries to get them to leave then slam the door.

Yeah it was clear, "young girl" added with "big clothes that are to oversized for her" made it clear
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Old 2010-10-19, 00:08   Link #37
Yuno
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Indeed, very well said. His whole world is shaken when someone knocks on that door. His house is his entire world.

Excellent I am so glad that that was clear. I kept reading it going, is that clear or just useless detail XDD
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Old 2010-10-19, 00:12   Link #38
Chimuts
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Perhaps they(Mrs Copper and the 2 gentlemen) decided to put Mei on the job because she has some similarities with Mr. Winston. For example, the burn marks may had made her face a bit distorted, just like Mr.Winston'[s disease made his looks distorted. Mei seems good on doing chores so she may have worked as a house keeper before, or she may be used to doing it since she was little(although she is still a little girl) The fact that she doesn't leave despite of being extremely scared of Mr.Winston in the beginning hints that she does not have any place she can go to, which may also be the reason why they put her on the job. Another possibility is that she is kind and cannot leave an ill old man like Mr.Winston alone. This is proven by her covering Mr.winston with a blanket when he fell asleep.
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Old 2010-10-19, 00:19   Link #39
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimuts View Post
Perhaps they(Mrs Copper and the 2 gentlemen) decided to put Mei on the job because she has some similarities with Mr. Winston. For example, the burn marks may had made her face a bit distorted, just like Mr.Winston'[s disease made his looks distorted. Mei seems good on doing chores so she may have worked as a house keeper before, or she may be used to doing it since she was little(although she is still a little girl) The fact that she doesn't leave despite of being extremely scared of Mr.Winston in the beginning hints that she does not have any place she can go to, which may also be the reason why they put her on the job. Another possibility is that she is kind and cannot leave an ill old man like Mr.Winston alone. This is proven by her covering Mr.winston with a blanket when he fell asleep.
That is also a very good possibility Chimuts, putting two people with some sort of issue that somehow makes them the same will get along very well. Well the chores thing is still debatable, we have to wait till more is revealed I have to adore your next explanation of why she dint leave I go with the fact that she is a kind girl and dint want to leave, even if she dint have nowhere else to go, she would still have atleast somewhere else to work at, since she is a house keeper.
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Old 2010-10-19, 00:27   Link #40
Chimuts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooves View Post
That is also a very good possibility Chimuts, putting two people with some sort of issue that somehow makes them the same will get along very well. Well the chores thing is still debatable, we have to wait till more is revealed I have to adore your next explanation of why she dint leave I go with the fact that she is a kind girl and dint want to leave, even if she dint have nowhere else to go, she would still have atleast somewhere else to work at, since she is a house keeper.
Yes the most possible reason for now is because she is kind and can't leave Mr.Winston alone. I think something big will happen in the next installment.
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