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Old 2011-02-05, 09:31   Link #8061
NightbatŪ
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Well, I would bet those that 'leap in the dark' have no other motive than self-gratification
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Old 2011-02-05, 11:56   Link #8062
SuigetsuKun
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightbatŪ View Post
Narcism?

I fail to see how that would help, I would imagine if you wish to love yourself you would grant yourself happiness, not heartache

I do not think there are any "preventing measures" you can take
In general I thing rationalising does help -afterwards-, since looking at things objectively already creates an emotional distance

In reality, dealing with heartache is the same as dealing with a death of a close one
the more it happens - the more desensitized you become - the easier it is to deal with
You don't yet get what I mean. I am talking about loving yourself which has nothing to do with narcism. I am talking about parental love or the innocent love of a child. You're not supposed to look at the mirror and j**k your d*ck off...

I say a lack of love is a black hole and it won't be filled by anyone but yourself.
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And instead of trying to impose on your mind, you adjust yourself to your opponent like water pressing on an earthen wall. It flows through the slightest crack. Running water never grows stale. So you just have to 'keep on flowing'. Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
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Old 2011-02-05, 12:24   Link #8063
NightbatŪ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuigetsuKun View Post
You don't yet get what I mean. I am talking about loving yourself which has nothing to do with narcism. I am talking about parental love or the innocent love of a child. You're not supposed to look at the mirror and j**k your d*ck off....
I don't have a degree in Psychology, but narcism = selflove

you just immediatly consider the most extreme form of narcism when you hear it mentioned

Quote:
I say a lack of love is a black hole and it won't be filled by anyone but yourself.
Giving yourself love is piss easy, and you have an infinite supply
having someone else love you, now that's a luxury
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Old 2011-02-05, 14:58   Link #8064
Crazy Aido
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightbatŪ View Post
I don't have a degree in Psychology, but narcism = selflove

you just immediatly consider the most extreme form of narcism when you hear it mentioned



Giving yourself love is piss easy, and you have an infinite supply
having someone else love you, now that's a luxury
Not a luxury that you don't work for though...
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Old 2011-02-05, 15:08   Link #8065
JuGG
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Well, March 5th promises to be interesting.

I was at my anime club meeting tonight, and when I left one of my friends from there caught up with me and asked me to go to an event for his RCA group here. It seems like his girlfriend dumped him a couple days ago, and he wanted someone to attend with him, even if only as just a friend. I'm friends with him; we aren't incredibly close by any means, but he's a nice guy and he's helped me out a couple of times before. It'll certainly be a fun way to spend a night, if nothing else.
Well that sounds like a good way to spend an evening anyhow, at least he wasn't chicken or mopey about being dumped to approach you. But it's a month away which sucks a bit, do you reckon things will develop before then or is there no rush?

As for the self-love topic, I'm not so certain that everyone finds it 'piss easy'; when people get in a rut or depressed then they can cave in easily and lose sight of themselves for days, months, years, and lifetimes. In a way, 100% self-love can be trickier [than someone else loving you] if you're the type of person that beats yourself up.
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Old 2011-02-05, 15:13   Link #8066
xl_Legit_lx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuigetsuKun
You don't yet get what I mean. I am talking about loving yourself which has nothing to do with narcism. I am talking about parental love or the innocent love of a child. You're not supposed to look at the mirror and j**k your d*ck off...

I say a lack of love is a black hole and it won't be filled by anyone but yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NightbatŪ View Post
I don't have a degree in Psychology, but narcism = selflove

you just immediatly consider the most extreme form of narcism when you hear it mentioned



Giving yourself love is piss easy, and you have an infinite supply
having someone else love you, now that's a luxury
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Aido View Post
Not a luxury that you don't work for though...

I think you misunderstand him. If anything he must mean "You have to love yourself, before you can love another".

By being comfortable with yourself, not draggin about that you are "single" (which isn't that bad, I was for a while before I met my current partner), doesn't mean you suck or life is horrid. Find your own happiness, go out, have fun. Experience new things. Live life, then, when you are happy and care for yourself, you can care for another.

If anyone needs advice, I'm here. I studied philosophy and psychology on relations for a bit in college and plan to further my studies with advanced classes in a few semesters.

-Legit
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Old 2011-02-05, 20:24   Link #8067
RadiantBeam
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Originally Posted by JuGG View Post
Well that sounds like a good way to spend an evening anyhow, at least he wasn't chicken or mopey about being dumped to approach you. But it's a month away which sucks a bit, do you reckon things will develop before then or is there no rush?
I highly doubt anything will develop. I'm not especially close to him, I rarely see him outside of our club meetings, and I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship at the moment. But still, it'll be a fun way to spend the evening, if nothing else, and it'll make my parents happy to go out and have fun with other people.
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Old 2011-02-05, 21:35   Link #8068
NightbatŪ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xl_Legit_lx View Post
I think you misunderstand him. If anything he must mean "You have to love yourself, before you can love another".

By being comfortable with yourself, not draggin about that you are "single" (which isn't that bad, I was for a while before I met my current partner), doesn't mean you suck or life is horrid. Find your own happiness, go out, have fun. Experience new things. Live life, then, when you are happy and care for yourself, you can care for another.
I don't misunderstand him, but even selfpity is a way of caring for yourself
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Old 2011-02-06, 05:48   Link #8069
JuGG
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I highly doubt anything will develop. I'm not especially close to him, I rarely see him outside of our club meetings, and I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship at the moment. But still, it'll be a fun way to spend the evening, if nothing else, and it'll make my parents happy to go out and have fun with other people.
Fair enough--and anything is good if it gets your parents off your back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightbatŪ View Post
I don't misunderstand him, but even selfpity is a way of caring for yourself
Self-pity can often lead to self-hatred though and I'm not sure if that can be classed as caring for yourself; it's more like you're protecting yourself and wrapping yourself in a shell even though the inside of the egg is just as dangerous. Of course, I guess self-pity can be good sometimes but usually it leads down a lonely road that can deter/bores others unless you find your someone to lean on. And trust me, there's always somebody--even in the most unlikely places. If you find them then self-pity will become constructive.
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Old 2011-02-06, 07:52   Link #8070
NightbatŪ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JuGG View Post
Self-pity can often lead to self-hatred though and I'm not sure if that can be classed as caring for yourself; it's more like you're protecting yourself and wrapping yourself in a shell even though the inside of the egg is just as dangerous. Of course.
The same can be said for selfesteem


Selfesteem can never be gained by input from just yourself

People like to be commended, encouraged, praised -rewarded- for what they do
Humans need recognition for their efforts or everything ends up 'a hollow victory'

Sure there is pleasure to be found in exceeding your own abilities, but how long can you pat yourself on the back untill it becomes irritating
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Old 2011-02-06, 09:31   Link #8071
JuGG
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightbatŪ View Post
The same can be said for selfesteem

Selfesteem can never be gained by input from just yourself

People like to be commended, encouraged, praised -rewarded- for what they do
Humans need recognition for their efforts or everything ends up 'a hollow victory'

Sure there is pleasure to be found in exceeding your own abilities, but how long can you pat yourself on the back untill it becomes irritating
I didn't really think about it before but you're spot on. I'm guessing without an outside source then both pity and esteem can become nothing or--at least--lose meaning. Maybe that the case for any wealth of emotion. Could huge amounts of happiness become the 'standard' or the 'par' and mean little? I suppose that's what you'd call somebody not appreciating their current state.

People are strange.
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Old 2011-02-06, 15:42   Link #8072
NightbatŪ
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Looking at it from that angle, I think -from the discussion this was continued from- that those that retain a good sense and tangible proof of 'accomplishment' can best cope with breakups
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Old 2011-02-09, 11:30   Link #8073
Moczo
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Heh... wonder of wonders...

Sara, my friend at work, has been kind of pestering me to hook up with her best friend who's been single for a long, long time. I've also been single for a long time, so despite misgivings (Sara is... odd...) I decided to try talking to this girl and, and...

We've got nigh-identical tastes in books, movies, TV shows, we both write for fun, we're both dog people, and she's that interesting girl-next-door type who's cute but doesn't realize she's cute. We've only talked a very little bit, but at the least I enjoy interacting with her and would not mind at all getting to know her better.

I'll just have to remember that sometimes Sara knows what she's talking about. Just not often.
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Old 2011-02-09, 12:19   Link #8074
NightbatŪ
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Maybe she doesn't know how to act or has trouble expressing herself (in company)

And perhaps some people don't take themselves too seriously, that doesn't mean they can't be serious
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Old 2011-02-09, 19:07   Link #8075
GDB
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Good going, Moczo! Sounds like a good catch.
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Old 2011-02-09, 19:30   Link #8076
whitepearl
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Wishing you the best, Moczo.
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Old 2011-02-09, 23:25   Link #8077
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Heh... wonder of wonders...

Sara, my friend at work, has been kind of pestering me to hook up with her best friend who's been single for a long, long time. I've also been single for a long time, so despite misgivings (Sara is... odd...) I decided to try talking to this girl and, and...

We've got nigh-identical tastes in books, movies, TV shows, we both write for fun, we're both dog people, and she's that interesting girl-next-door type who's cute but doesn't realize she's cute. We've only talked a very little bit, but at the least I enjoy interacting with her and would not mind at all getting to know her better.

I'll just have to remember that sometimes Sara knows what she's talking about. Just not often.
Hey, best of luck to you!
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Old 2011-02-10, 10:10   Link #8078
Moczo
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Hee hee! Thanks for wishing me luck, y'all. I am going to need it because I have no idea what I'm doing. I hope it goes well and I have many happy stories to share in coming months.
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Old 2011-02-10, 10:14   Link #8079
Tsuyoshi
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Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Hee hee! Thanks for wishing me luck, y'all. I am going to need it because I have no idea what I'm doing. I hope it goes well and I have many happy stories to share in coming months.
Hehe just be yourself Judging by what you said and convos we've had on AIM, I'm pretty sure you're doing fantastically with her
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Old 2011-02-11, 19:49   Link #8080
Suomi
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Well, my first time visiting here ^^;
I've got a question. I've heard that, if a guy texts you while he's playing video games (especially CoD), then he really likes talking to you, or something? i'm curious, cause I've got a guy friend, I don't know that I'm interested in him or that I'm not, but on weekends we generally talk for about five hours at least one night, sometimes two, and one night I was texting him and he said he was sorry for the slow replies, he was playing CoD, and I asked if he wanted me to go then, and he said no not at all but not to expect quick replies. He seems, in general, like he may potentially be interested...or at least exploring the idea.
I thought up til today that it was probably just friendship, but now I'm wondering if my mother (the one who's been saying, since she knows about all this, that it looks like he may be interested) might be on to something.
I'm not asking if he likes me or anything like that, just wondering if it's anything significant (texting me while playing it)...wow, I cannot articulate this well, sorry >.<"
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