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Old 2011-03-21, 02:00   Link #981
Chaos2Frozen
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IMO, it's good to separate the two worlds, magic and science from each other, to allow people to make distinctions between them. This would also means separating the two heroines... At least, initially.

vol 1 - Index - Magic
vol 2 - Mikoto - Science
vol 3 - Kaori - Magic
vol 4 - Mikoto/Last Order - Science
vol 5 - Index/Hyouka/Mikoto - Mix

That's how I would do it.
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Old 2011-03-21, 02:21   Link #982
WiliamZ0
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen View Post
IMO, it's good to separate the two worlds, magic and science from each other, to allow people to make distinctions between them. This would also means separating the two heroines... At least, initially.

vol 1 - Index - Magic
vol 2 - Mikoto - Science
vol 3 - Kaori - Magic
vol 4 - Mikoto/Last Order - Science
vol 5 - Index/Hyouka/Mikoto - Mix

That's how I would do it.
Hmm I see, since my mikoto know magic (I mean magic side), she sometimes help magic side even though she is part of science side. Again, she also will have her own important rule , just like the other characters (including OC)

Last edited by WiliamZ0; 2011-03-21 at 02:36.
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Old 2011-03-21, 04:38   Link #983
Tsukino Kage Spectre
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You seem to have trouble knowing when to use the s or 's at the end of a word, mostly. Sometimes you use the incorrect verb tense as well.

Grammar was never my strongest subject in school, so I can understand the difficulty.
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Old 2011-03-22, 10:28   Link #984
MrTerrorist
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WiliamZ0 View Post
I just released my fanfic hope you guys can enjoy it

To Aru Majutsu no Index : Alternative Testament
After taking 3 hours reading this (Seriously, this fic is damm long for a fanfic) here's my review of your AU Toaru fanfic.

Spoiler for review:
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Old 2011-03-22, 10:58   Link #985
kaizerknight01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WiliamZ0 View Post
Hmm I see, since my mikoto know magic (I mean magic side), she sometimes help magic side even though she is part of science side. Again, she also will have her own important rule , just like the other characters (including OC)

Your idea for your fan fic great, as others suggest, try to find a beta reader or keep on reading English newspapers and listen learning channels like discovery , national geographic, history channel ( well that how i broaden my English vocabulary english is also a 2nd language to me ) I wish you well on your fan fiction
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Old 2011-03-23, 01:14   Link #986
WiliamZ0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrTerrorist View Post
After taking 3 hours reading this (Seriously, this fic is damm long for a fanfic) here's my review of your AU Toaru fanfic.

Spoiler for review:
A Redo huh~ Sure ... I actually working on it after see several review comment

Again 2 of my OCs will be part of main characters in my fanfic like the other and about his power (the boy one only)

Spoiler:


About the other still not introduced yet

Actually the reason why I put the Oc earlier to introduce to other about the OC, again I can see it very bad idea (I will repair this mistake)

About Mikoto , yeah! Time to redo it

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaizerknight01 View Post
Your idea for your fan fic great, as others suggest, try to find a beta reader or keep on reading English newspapers and listen learning channels like discovery , national geographic, history channel ( well that how i broaden my English vocabulary english is also a 2nd language to me ) I wish you well on your fan fiction
I see Anyway, could you refer me to one of beta reader, or how I contact them ?
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Old 2011-03-23, 01:42   Link #987
Marcus H.
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Not here to burst your bubble, but how did the Dual-Skill acquire its two powers?
In canon, there is no such thing as a Dual-Skill, and the only instance of Dual-Skill (and Multi-Skill) - Teacher Harumi Kiyama - becomes one because of the 10000 brains connected using the Level Upper Network.
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Old 2011-03-23, 01:55   Link #988
Chaos2Frozen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
Not here to burst your bubble, but how did the Dual-Skill acquire its two powers?
In canon, there is no such thing as a Dual-Skill, and the only instance of Dual-Skill (and Multi-Skill) - Teacher Harumi Kiyama - becomes one because of the 10000 brains connected using the Level Upper Network.
Which in essence is also not a dual skill since she's not using a own brain.

Logically, the only way you're gonna get dual skill is if your character has two brains, and I don't mean the one below.
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Old 2011-03-23, 02:06   Link #989
WiliamZ0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
Not here to burst your bubble, but how did the Dual-Skill acquire its two powers?
In canon, there is no such thing as a Dual-Skill, and the only instance of Dual-Skill (and Multi-Skill) - Teacher Harumi Kiyama - becomes one because of the 10000 brains connected using the Level Upper Network.
Let me explain to you ...
Dual Skill mean an ESPer that able to use more than one ability
as the only true exist dual-skill is Tsuchimikado Motoharu (who actually magician-Esper hybrid (again he actually can't be said as truly Dual-Skill (if I put the actual concept of real Dual-Skill), which also the same case with My OC))

My OC is like Touma, someone who already have his own unique ability
Spoiler for his power called:

Back again , my OC having his own ability + ESPer ability (again, my OC seems powerful, but his ability actually have much ... in fact too much limitations)

Touma in fact can be dual-skill (if not because his Imagine Breaker blocking his power and label he as Level 0)

Last edited by WiliamZ0; 2011-03-23 at 02:25.
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Old 2011-03-23, 02:28   Link #990
Chaos2Frozen
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Erm so in other words, it's not really a dual-skill since the second ability is not an esper power?
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Old 2011-03-23, 02:39   Link #991
WiliamZ0
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That's correct ... again ... because of no one know that his second ability is not an esper power, people think he as a Dual-Skill
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Old 2011-03-23, 02:44   Link #992
Chaos2Frozen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WiliamZ0 View Post
That's correct ... again ... because of no one know that his second ability is not an esper power, people think he as a Dual-Skill

Actually the first impression most people would get is that he has one power that lets him do all that. Even the 7th Level 5, who display a wide range of capabilities, people still believe it's just one power that does all that.
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Old 2011-03-23, 02:59   Link #993
WiliamZ0
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Hmm I see~

My OC esper ability is controlling gravity

Is it also consider as or not as dual skill?
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Old 2011-03-23, 02:59   Link #994
Marcus H.
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Just make it one ability.
My suggestion: Atomizer (分子解体) [Molecular Disassembly].

Quote:
My OC esper ability is controlling gravity

Is it also consider as or not as dual skill?
As long as it does not have another ability, it's counted as a single esper ability.
In fact, in one of my fanfiction projects, I have a character with the ability to control gravity, but the ability is fully active only for 1 second at a time because he's just a Level 3 (no passive AIM as well).
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Old 2011-03-23, 03:01   Link #995
Chaos2Frozen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
Just make it one ability. My suggestion: Atomizer (分子解体) [Molecular Disassembly].
Isn't that the same as Meltdowner?
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Old 2011-03-23, 03:06   Link #996
Marcus H.
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Quote:
Isn't that the same as Meltdowner?
I dunno how Mugino's beams work, but I guess she only uses her power to rip apart atomic particles to create energy. My idea for Atomizer is different; let's say it's literally breaking apart the molecules of an object. However, since the term is very fresh from my mind, the exact mechanics might have things that I have overlooked.

EDIT: Since the fanfiction group is inactive, I might as well dump my esper ability ideas here as well.

> Perfect Slick (抵抗急減) [Sudden Friction Reduction] - Creates an area around the esper where friction is drastically reduced (to the natural friction of ice). Level 2.
> Metal Flame (発火榴弾) [Explosive Projectile] - A variation of esper ability which controls the element calcium. It replicates the conditions of the creation of Greek fire. Level 3.
> Gravity Point (重心顕現) [Manifestation of Gravity] - Allows an esper to create a small spherical area where gravity attracts nearby objects towards that small area. The effect lasts for 1 second. Level 3 or 4.
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Last edited by Marcus H.; 2011-03-23 at 03:26.
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Old 2011-03-23, 04:48   Link #997
Chaos2Frozen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
I dunno how Mugino's beams work, but I guess she only uses her power to rip apart atomic particles to create energy. My idea for Atomizer is different; let's say it's literally breaking apart the molecules of an object. However, since the term is very fresh from my mind, the exact mechanics might have things that I have overlooked.
So... How is it different again ?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
EDIT: Since the fanfiction group is inactive, I might as well dump my esper ability ideas here as well.
Bah, anybody can come up with an coherent Esper ability, the real test of skill is coming up with a magic spell that fits within the canon of the story


Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
> Perfect Slick (抵抗急減) [Sudden Friction Reduction] - Creates an area around the esper where friction is drastically reduced (to the natural friction of ice). Level 2.
At level 2, it probably won't be any bigger than what she can touch.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
> Gravity Point (重心顕現) [Manifestation of Gravity] - Allows an esper to create a small spherical area where gravity attracts nearby objects towards that small area. The effect lasts for 1 second. Level 3 or 4.
Tiny nitpick, you'll have less problem if you don't call this 'gravity'.

Then again, [Dark Matter] isn't really dark matter...
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Old 2011-03-23, 18:28   Link #998
Miraluka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus H. View Post
> Perfect Slick (抵抗急減) [Sudden Friction Reduction] - Creates an area around the esper where friction is drastically reduced (to the natural friction of ice). Level 2.
This one can be used at least to move like Acqua does.

@Chaos2Frozen: A magic spell, uh?
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Old 2011-03-23, 19:33   Link #999
Marcus H.
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I was thinking of a girl who likes to make pranks on other girls whom she did not like by letting them slip. Although moving like a skater on ice ain't so shabby as well.

Also, I agree on the challenge of making spells using the canon of Index. I have to research on Philippine folklore just to create abilities for two of my OC's! D:
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LIGHT NOVEL CHALLENGE: Absolute Duo, Seiken Tsukai no World Break and Sister of Testament New Devil.


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Old 2011-03-23, 20:01   Link #1000
Miraluka
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There are a lot of ideas if we try religions like the ones from Islam/muslims or the Hinduism.
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