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Old 2011-06-01, 03:36   Link #781
Snowman24
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Spoiler for Marion fanfic, Preview #1:

Last edited by Snowman24; 2011-06-01 at 03:53.
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Old 2011-06-01, 10:50   Link #782
Runty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Spoiler for Marion fanfic, Preview #1:
Aww, poor Marion.
Spoiler for Suggestions:
Here's hoping you can finish up this one, as well as your Magari one-shot. Still waiting on that one.
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Old 2011-06-01, 14:00   Link #783
Snowman24
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Yeah I figured having the rebels close in was the way to go. Also I was watching old Mech Warrior 3 videos and thought a new V4 to look like either the 'Thor' or 'Vulture' from the opening intro video.

Lastly, I got the idea for the 'fog horn' sound it makes from the War of the Worlds movie and the sound the giant 'Tripod' machines make.

A bipod mechanical beast seemed to work, since they already made V2s look like armoured men, this one is just MUCH larger, far more armoured and much more heavily armed with all types of weaponry.

It seems perfectly plausible, if they can build giant armoured airships, land battleships and huge tanks like the batomys, why not a giant armoured bipeddle mech.
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Old 2011-06-01, 15:10   Link #784
Runty
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Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Yeah I figured having the rebels close in was the way to go. Also I was watching old Mech Warrior 3 videos and thought a new V4 to look like either the 'Thor' or 'Vulture' from the opening intro video.

Lastly, I got the idea for the 'fog horn' sound it makes from the War of the Worlds movie and the sound the giant 'Tripod' machines make.

A bipod mechanical beast seemed to work, since they already made V2s look like armoured men, this one is just MUCH larger, far more armoured and much more heavily armed with all types of weaponry.

It seems perfectly plausible, if they can build giant armoured airships, land battleships and huge tanks like the batomys, why not a giant armoured bipeddle mech.
Nice, you're a MW fan too? The Thor is simply an awesome mech.

I wouldn't give it the name V4, though; Golem sounds more intimidating, IMO, as a codename.

BTW, is there an ETA on the Magari one-shot?
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Old 2011-06-02, 00:51   Link #785
Snowman24
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Spoiler for rough Marion preview #2:


Actually, I want to get this Marion fanfic over with first. I've got some good momentum going with writing it, and I'd rather not stop and switch over to the Magari one, until this one is finished.

I think the whole writing a bit, stopping to think and plan, isn't work as well as I had thought and hoped for. Seems when I stop, I lose momentum and the will to write it. All my stories reflect that.

I used to dish out a chapter per night in the past for Adventures in War and Just My Luck when i'd write it in one go. Now, I'm lucky if I get a chapter per month out :*(

So, while the momentum is good, I'll stick to one story at a time. No more, writing a thousand words or so, stopping, thinking and adding more later. If I can help it, I'll write it in one go :P
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Old 2011-06-02, 01:21   Link #786
Runty
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Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Spoiler for rough Marion preview #2:


Actually, I want to get this Marion fanfic over with first. I've got some good momentum going with writing it, and I'd rather not stop and switch over to the Magari one, until this one is finished.

I think the whole writing a bit, stopping to think and plan, isn't work as well as I had thought and hoped for. Seems when I stop, I lose momentum and the will to write it. All my stories reflect that.

I used to dish out a chapter per night in the past for Adventures in War and Just My Luck when i'd write it in one go. Now, I'm lucky if I get a chapter per month out :*(

So, while the momentum is good, I'll stick to one story at a time. No more, writing a thousand words or so, stopping, thinking and adding more later. If I can help it, I'll write it in one go :P
Works for me. Keep that buzz going if it'll let you finish.

Nice second preview. Might want to change the name of the scientist, though; sounds too similar to Baldren. Maybe change it to, say, Dr. Von Essen or something like that? I like his personality, though; very much the mad scientist.

I hope to see the complete result soon.

Spoiler for Idea for a change:

Last edited by Runty; 2011-06-02 at 01:50.
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Old 2011-06-02, 03:34   Link #787
Snowman24
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Spoiler for Marion preview #3:


How's it coming along, lol, I'm on a roll. Wish I had more time to write, I'm sure I could finish it tonight, if only it weren't 3:30 A.M. and I had work tomorrow!

This'll probably be the last preview, so tell me what you think, any changes, etc.

Spoiler for Idea for a change:


-I'll take that under advisement, actually, it was pretty much what I had in mind. But we'll have to wait and see where it goes.
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Old 2011-06-02, 13:39   Link #788
Runty
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Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Spoiler for Marion preview #3:


How's it coming along, lol, I'm on a roll. Wish I had more time to write, I'm sure I could finish it tonight, if only it weren't 3:30 A.M. and I had work tomorrow!

This'll probably be the last preview, so tell me what you think, any changes, etc.

Spoiler for Idea for a change:


-I'll take that under advisement, actually, it was pretty much what I had in mind. But we'll have to wait and see where it goes.
I look forward to the end result.

Spoiler for Question:
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Old 2011-06-04, 10:18   Link #789
Snowman24
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Hey, Runty or anyone else, can you help with a suggestion for a title for the Marion fanfic?? I'm drawing an absolute blank, lol!!
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Old 2011-06-04, 11:42   Link #790
Runty
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Hey, Runty or anyone else, can you help with a suggestion for a title for the Marion fanfic?? I'm drawing an absolute blank, lol!!
Hmm, tough one, actually.

Why not simply "Golem" for now?

EDIT: Here's another idea: "War Machine"

Last edited by Runty; 2011-06-04 at 13:53.
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Old 2011-06-04, 22:35   Link #791
Snowman24
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Spoiler for Marion fanfic, Preview #4:


I lied, this'll be the last preview... actually this is more like a series of chapters or mini episodes like on TV :P You get to read some, left with a cliff hanger and wondering what's happening next?

Truth be told, I think I like this one, just alittle more than the Magari on

So, what did ya think? Good, or bad?
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Old 2011-06-04, 23:31   Link #792
Runty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Spoiler for Marion fanfic, Preview #4:


I lied, this'll be the last preview... actually this is more like a series of chapters or mini episodes like on TV :P You get to read some, left with a cliff hanger and wondering what's happening next?

Truth be told, I think I like this one, just alittle more than the Magari on

So, what did ya think? Good, or bad?
That was good. Really good. Please finish the rest soon!
Spoiler for Suggestions:

Can't think of anything else right now. Those should help, at least.

Please try to finish up soon!
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Old 2011-06-05, 02:57   Link #793
Snowman24
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Spoiler for Suggestions:


1) It shows how long its been since I played VC2, I don't remember When Juliana FINALLY started to respect to Avan and Zeri as both a class and as people. I remember Juliana finally called Zeri by his first name, I don't remember what month it was and I don't really remember when it was when
Spoiler for VC2 spoiler:


2) Yeah, same thing, been so long since I last played, I don't remember the GRAs rank. General, Commander, Captain, who was who?

3) That part could have been cut entirely, true. I'll fix that.

Thanks for the ideas for the final part. I love this Marion fanfic, it's alot better than the Magari one. Strange, I LOVE Magari, because she is Darcsen. And I've never really love Marion, BECAUSE she was a Darcen hater, and me being me, I love Darcsen people!!
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Old 2011-06-05, 19:39   Link #794
Runty
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Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Spoiler for Suggestions:


1) It shows how long its been since I played VC2, I don't remember When Juliana FINALLY started to respect to Avan and Zeri as both a class and as people. I remember Juliana finally called Zeri by his first name, I don't remember what month it was and I don't really remember when it was when
Spoiler for VC2 spoiler:


2) Yeah, same thing, been so long since I last played, I don't remember the GRAs rank. General, Commander, Captain, who was who?

3) That part could have been cut entirely, true. I'll fix that.

Thanks for the ideas for the final part. I love this Marion fanfic, it's alot better than the Magari one. Strange, I LOVE Magari, because she is Darcsen. And I've never really love Marion, BECAUSE she was a Darcen hater, and me being me, I love Darcsen people!!
Well, I'm hoping you'll finish the Marion story soon. But don't forget the Magari one! That one was coming along really well, IMO.
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Old 2011-06-08, 01:51   Link #795
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Almost done yet?
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Old 2011-06-08, 04:06   Link #796
Snowman24
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Not quite, I spent the whole day celebrating my birthday and working. But here's what I got in the last hour.

I want your full, blunt, honest opinion :P

Spoiler for Marion preview #5:


-The ending is taking longer and is much harder than I ever thought. That's how it works, it sounds short, simple and good in my head. Then, once I get to typing, it becomes SO much more complicated.

btw... I wrote this after I got back from the bar after celebrating my birthday:P Since you asked, I wanted to get something new up :P. So it's probably not my best written stuff. But it's close to what I wanted... VERY rough draft that I'll change later as well.
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Old 2011-06-08, 10:24   Link #797
Runty
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Not quite, I spent the whole day celebrating my birthday and working. But here's what I got in the last hour.

I want your full, blunt, honest opinion :P

Spoiler for Marion preview #5:


-The ending is taking longer and is much harder than I ever thought. That's how it works, it sounds short, simple and good in my head. Then, once I get to typing, it becomes SO much more complicated.

btw... I wrote this after I got back from the bar after celebrating my birthday:P Since you asked, I wanted to get something new up :P. So it's probably not my best written stuff. But it's close to what I wanted... VERY rough draft that I'll change later as well.
For something that was rushed, it's not bad. There are some spots where you mess up, though.
Spoiler for Suggestions:
Looks like we're nearing the finish line. Keep it up!

Last edited by Runty; 2011-06-08 at 11:53.
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Old 2011-06-09, 13:32   Link #798
Runty
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I've been thinking up another one-shot idea, but I don't think it'd be very easy for you to write, Snowman. Why? Because it'll involve quite a bit of military law, which I'm guessing is not your field. It'd be more up DC20's alley or redshocktrooper's.

Anyways, for anyone who's interested, here's the basic plot synopsis - it stars Reiner and Sigrid.
Spoiler for Reiner:
See what I mean by not easy?
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Old 2011-06-09, 14:22   Link #799
Snowman24
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Concerning my Marion story:
Spoiler for Execution moment:
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Old 2011-06-09, 14:52   Link #800
Runty
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Concerning my Marion story:
Spoiler for Execution moment:
Spoiler for Suggestions:
That should work.
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