AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > Anime Discussion > Older Series > Infinite Stratos

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2011-10-23, 04:17   Link #4021
Saint X
VxR Productions
*IT Support
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Philippines
Send a message via MSN to Saint X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Detective-san View Post
Have you seen the Fate thread?
have you Read the part that i said "i have been looking at / posting in"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
- What can you do? More than half of us are certifiably insane, and then you have me, the master breeder of random plot bunnies, spending more time pointing out totally random plot tangents or general stupidity and bedevilling everyone here to write it because I refuse to claim responsibility for any of it....
The Plot Bunnies Song


oh goodie, page claim
Saint X is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 04:19   Link #4022
Masuzu
勝利のため
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: キセキの世代
^ Damn, beat me to it.
Masuzu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 04:20   Link #4023
Yachiyo
~`Seito Kaichō`~
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ~`Afterlife`~
Be right back! I'll play O2mania for a moment

I <3 River Flows in You ^_^
__________________
Yachiyo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 04:50   Link #4024
Eratas123
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Since I feel bad about missing the party, here's the new <Ren> draft.

@ Zero and Wavehawk - Please tell me what you think.


Spoiler:


@ Zero - Corrupt my innocent soul? You're talking about the person who's writing "SWC" and is currently writing a psycho vs psycho noir fic.
Eratas123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 04:59   Link #4025
wavehawk
O GALILEO LET ME GO
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Eratas...sorry, I'm going to put my military freak hat on now...
Those must be the two STUPIDEST "Commandoes" I've ever met.
  • They fail at Radio silence
  • They don't cover each other properly as two-man teams do

If they were unprofessional and intentionally stupid (EG like the Dunois Security people I had <Ren> beat the crap out of) in my first story, I would suggest making it pretty obviosu to the reader that that's so...

Essentially, it's similar to or the same as the Accel vs Hound Dogs scene in the Index anime.
__________________
"This is the worst webpage ever. Of all time."
wavehawk is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:03   Link #4026
ZeroXSEED
I am no one
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
Whoa, I left for three hours and another two page is created!

The draft is good, and the commandos are damn stupid.
__________________
Ichika Is Awesome
ZeroXSEED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:10   Link #4027
Eratas123
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
Eratas...sorry, I'm going to put my military freak hat on now...
Those must be the two STUPIDEST "Commandoes" I've ever met.
  • They fail at Radio silence
  • They don't cover each other properly as two-man teams do

If they were unprofessional and intentionally stupid (EG like the Dunois Security people I had <Ren> beat the crap out of) in my first story, I would suggest making it pretty obviosu to the reader that that's so...

Essentially, it's similar to or the same as the Accel vs Hound Dogs scene in the Index anime.
No problem I really don't know how to write military scenes and that's why I'm writing this right now. I'd appreciate any advice you could give me because it will help when I start writing "what lies in shadows" again.

I'm also going for a bit of the worf effect here. They were cocky because they thought they could beat him easily and they were armed to the teeth too so they didn't expect this one teenager to start picking them off one by one, if you remember in the first part Mark ignored <Ren>'s advice because he assumed they could easily finish it up. They even switch roles in the team to provide a balance but this poses the problem that no one is specifically good at anything, just average over all.

Of course, this will make it all the more apparent how strong <Ren> is when she goes there and utterly demolishes his ass.

The hound dogs scene was exactly where I got this scene though Don't worry, the part after this won't be copied from index any more.
Eratas123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:22   Link #4028
ZeroXSEED
I am no one
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
Well, if anyone interested (assuming they didn't found it first or is in the military) here's few manuals to help...

Few manuals huh...

Currently reading FM 100-103 "Army Airspace Command and Control in a Combat Zone"
__________________
Ichika Is Awesome
ZeroXSEED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:27   Link #4029
wavehawk
O GALILEO LET ME GO
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
It doesn't have to be 100% accurate, just reasonably competent. You'd think that a commando unit's members woudl at least have some sense of discipline--or common sense in that they wouldn't underestimate an opponent.
__________________
"This is the worst webpage ever. Of all time."
wavehawk is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:30   Link #4030
Yachiyo
~`Seito Kaichō`~
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ~`Afterlife`~
*Yawns* +10 chars
__________________
Yachiyo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:31   Link #4031
ZeroXSEED
I am no one
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yachiyo View Post
*Yawns* +10 chars
Are you taking medicine or just a little tired?
__________________
Ichika Is Awesome
ZeroXSEED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:32   Link #4032
Masuzu
勝利のため
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: キセキの世代
Mga kasabiang matanda (wavehawk): Tubig at pahinga lang 'yan.
Masuzu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:33   Link #4033
ZeroXSEED
I am no one
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
Quote:
Originally Posted by Detective-san View Post
Mga kasabiang matanda (wavehawk): Tubig at pahinga lang 'yan.
Wah geus pada mulai ngaco yeuh, kacau kacau....
__________________
Ichika Is Awesome
ZeroXSEED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:33   Link #4034
wavehawk
O GALILEO LET ME GO
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by yachiyo View Post
*yawns* +10 chars
- all of them mine!!!!!
__________________
"This is the worst webpage ever. Of all time."
wavehawk is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:34   Link #4035
Yachiyo
~`Seito Kaichō`~
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ~`Afterlife`~
@Zero nothing, I'm just disappointed because I have exam yesterday, then class tomorrow =.=
__________________
Yachiyo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:35   Link #4036
ZeroXSEED
I am no one
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
- all of them mine!!!!!
Walah si aki langsung maju, rusuh euy!

@Yachiyo

Part of life as student, I have a whole heck of remedial aside from exam...
__________________
Ichika Is Awesome
ZeroXSEED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:36   Link #4037
Eratas123
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
It doesn't have to be 100% accurate, just reasonably competent. You'd think that a commando unit's members woudl at least have some sense of discipline--or common sense in that they wouldn't underestimate an opponent.
I think I posted that these guys were fresh out of training and had been completing missions successfully so they would naturally be cocky to a point. If I didn't then I most likely deleted it by accident, I'm sorry.

All the intel they received pointed to a lone fugitive who shouldn't even have the capacity to fight back and just got lucky so far in dealing with the previous squad so that also gives them reason to be lax.

Thanks for all the advice though, when I make a new fic with scenes like this I'll be sure to make it more realistic and easier to swallow.
Eratas123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:56   Link #4038
Eratas123
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
@ Zero, Meister, Stratos, and Agetreme - Alright, time for some mood whiplash! Here's the first part of "SWC" Maximillian epilogue. All of the male OC's make an appearance.

Note: Skipped Kyuukai again here, Laura wouldn't let any other girls near her "wife"

Spoiler:


I don't know what I just wrote.

Last edited by Eratas123; 2011-10-23 at 06:13.
Eratas123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 05:58   Link #4039
Yachiyo
~`Seito Kaichō`~
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ~`Afterlife`~
^Spoiler +10 chars
__________________
Yachiyo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-10-23, 06:05   Link #4040
MeisterBabylon
~ Ping For Effect ~
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Golden Throne
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
Thanks man, but can you re-post it? I might've missed it, sorry. And can you also post it on Fanfic.net if you have an account on there? So it won't get lost on this forum.

I use feedbacks and reviews as "references".
Too lazy to log in.

I'll get to that in a while...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saint X View Post
its been a long time since an OC thread that i have been looking at / posting in turned 200 pages- and counting the numbers of posters compared to other threads... it's amazing.

*walks off*
Why do you think I'm still here instead of there?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yachiyo View Post
Nani yatterun dayo, mina-san?
Talking about the weather. It's crazy out here...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Zero, Meister, Stratos, and Agetreme - Alright, time for some mood whiplash! Here's the first part of "SWC" Maximillian epilogue. All of the male OC's make an appearance.

Note: Skipped Kyuukai again here, Laura wouldn't let any other girls near his "wife"

Spoiler:


I don't know what I just wrote.
You make me wish I had created Max's "harem" properly, then we'd have more action.

But alas, EXAMS! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, WAVEHAWK!! ONORE WAVEHAWK!!!!
__________________

On money: Every man has a price. For everything else, there's MakoCard.
MeisterBabylon is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
fanfiction, ff.net, harem, is fanfic, warning fanfic spoilers, wincest

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:06.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We use Silk.