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Old 2011-11-03, 20:35   Link #34821
Sunder the Gold
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeithKurogane View Post
Chapter 01 - The End of a Thousand Years
Miura doesn't attend that school. Einhart is in a different grade. Lutecia doesn't even live on the same planet. And given how little of anything they really do in this chapter, I wonder why you needed to ignore these facts.

Alex is one of the better god-mode self-inserts I've come across, but he still breaks the rule against fan-created protagonists being more powerful, unique or plot-relevant than the canon characters.

Being the most responsible, mature and sarcastically witty character doesn't help, either. It gets even worse with his "personality" change.

Just about everything you did sets him apart as someone superior to and more important than those around him in every way.

That's a fine thing to do for the main character of an original story, but a poor thing to do in fanfiction where readers come to read about the canonical characters.


As male-deprived as the Nanoha-verse is, Aigis from Persona 3 would have worked much better as a character vehicle for introducing the Persona or SMT verse to Midchilda. Taking Triangle Hearts as canon, Earth certainly has the technology to create intelligent robot-girls. There's also the main character from Persona 4, if he happens to run across Nanoha or her family on Earth.


Finally, there was really no reason to call the book the Azure Grimoire, as it bears absolutely no resemblence to anything from BlazBlue. Especially since the Azure Grimoire is very much NOT a book.

It's also an unnecessary allusion to a third series that you don't actually include in the crossover.
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Old 2011-11-03, 22:30   Link #34822
Craxuan
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The MC of Persona 4 doesn't even feel like he has a character, given that he never speaks (except choice dialogues) just about... anything. How did girls fall for him was a wonder; especially baffling when they confessed their feelings to him for like a whole minute and he simply sits and watches like a ghost.

Naoto's confession was epic though. Distance: <1m <3~
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Old 2011-11-03, 22:37   Link #34823
Sunder the Gold
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Originally Posted by Craxuan View Post
The MC of Persona 4 doesn't even feel like he has a character
Good point. MAN, that drove me crazy.

Still, maybe the current anime will make him into a real boy.


Quote:
Naoto's confession was epic though. Distance: <1m <3~
She was the one girl I didn't get a confession from. But I'll make the time to find it on youtube.

Goodness knows I'm never actually going to PLAY that game again. The characters and story are great, but I can watch that on Youtube without the irritation of the gameplay or level-grinding.
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Old 2011-11-03, 23:39   Link #34824
Craxuan
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It was the one PS2 game that I almost replayed though, for the cutscenes I didn't get. YouTube wins out in the end. ^^
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Old 2011-11-04, 00:54   Link #34825
mega1987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Craxuan View Post
The MC of Persona 4 doesn't even feel like he has a character, given that he never speaks (except choice dialogues) just about... anything. How did girls fall for him was a wonder; especially baffling when they confessed their feelings to him for like a whole minute and he simply sits and watches like a ghost.

Naoto's confession was epic though. Distance: <1m <3~
Try watching Persona 4: The animation... Souji/Yu got dialogs there... deadpan snarker...

and is there a Persona 4:The animation forum in animesuki? I wonder if they got a fanfiction tread there...

AND WE'RE ON NANOHA FORUM FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.... excuse me...
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And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2011-11-04, 01:57   Link #34826
KeithKurogane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunder the Gold View Post
Miura doesn't attend that school. Einhart is in a different grade. Lutecia doesn't even live on the same planet. And given how little of anything they really do in this chapter, I wonder why you needed to ignore these facts.

Alex is one of the better god-mode self-inserts I've come across, but he still breaks the rule against fan-created protagonists being more powerful, unique or plot-relevant than the canon characters.

Being the most responsible, mature and sarcastically witty character doesn't help, either. It gets even worse with his "personality" change.

Just about everything you did sets him apart as someone superior to and more important than those around him in every way.

That's a fine thing to do for the main character of an original story, but a poor thing to do in fanfiction where readers come to read about the canonical characters.


As male-deprived as the Nanoha-verse is, Aigis from Persona 3 would have worked much better as a character vehicle for introducing the Persona or SMT verse to Midchilda. Taking Triangle Hearts as canon, Earth certainly has the technology to create intelligent robot-girls. There's also the main character from Persona 4, if he happens to run across Nanoha or her family on Earth.


Finally, there was really no reason to call the book the Azure Grimoire, as it bears absolutely no resemblence to anything from BlazBlue. Especially since the Azure Grimoire is very much NOT a book.

It's also an unnecessary allusion to a third series that you don't actually include in the crossover.
So... I need to:
Nerf Alex down (or power-up the other characters) and rename his device (I don't play BlazBlue so IDK what you're talking about)...
I kind of wrote this after clearing SMT Strange Journey on Neutral Route... I mean, even soldiers did not stood a chance against demons until they got the Summoning Program.
Spoiler for Side Question:
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Old 2011-11-04, 03:18   Link #34827
mega1987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeithKurogane View Post
Should I give Nanoha access to Medigo spells?
Why not?
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Gundams are your worst nightmare in the battlefield.
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JAM Project pwns all!!!

And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2011-11-04, 03:57   Link #34828
Koveras Alvane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiresias View Post
Now this is a statistic I just have to see
Refer to this paper. The abstract really sums it up: heterosexual men are aroused by female stimuli (read: "boobies"); homosexual men, mainly by male stimuli; heterosexual and homosexual women are aroused by both. Since homosexuals have always been a minority, math tells us that a vast majority of humanity is aroused by female nudity, while only half of it enjoys male nudity. Quod erat demonstrandum. :3
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Old 2011-11-04, 04:21   Link #34829
Craxuan
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The Two Goddess, Demon

Spoiler for The Two Goddess, Demon:


One of the discarded chapters that I wrote in the dead of the night (Best time eva) long time ago. For the giggles I guess.
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Old 2011-11-04, 12:03   Link #34830
Sunder the Gold
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeithKurogane View Post
So... I need to:
Nerf Alex down
Ask yourself why the story needs Alex at all.

There are no fewer than four canonical charaters with the power to summon and control monsters. Caro, Lutecia, Corona, and that little witch girl. The last two in particular seem like good characters to recieve a book that summons demons.

Yuuno Scrya is an even better choice, as he doesn't already have a Device, nor does he already have his own monsters. But he's a good candidate for a book-form Device, and his teleportation powers could make him a great summoner if he found animals willing to obey him.

Quote:
(or power-up the other characters)
Why add magic to magic? How is Dia any different from Physical Heal, except in name?

Quote:
rename his device (I don't play BlazBlue so IDK what you're talking about)...
Oh, that was accidental? My apologies. But yes, something called the Azure Grimoire features heavily in the story of BlazBlue, and everyone who knows this is going to assume a connection. Especially anyone who has read the Material Days fanfic, which did in fact feature a Device inspired be and named after it.

Quote:
I mean, even soldiers did not stood a chance against demons until they got the Summoning Program.
I did not play that game, so I don't know if you're talking about normal soldiers or some kind of super soldiers. Did they already have magical attack spells? I'm sure that none of them could summon dragons or bugs or create golems.

Quote:
Should I give Nanoha access to Medigo spells?]
Why? She already has that kind of non-elemental firepower.
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Old 2011-11-04, 14:24   Link #34831
Shigan
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Happy Halloween everyone...and I regret that I don't have a scary fic for people, but hopefully this Hayate x Vivio Files fic will do?

Spoiler for Hayate x Vivio Files Chronology:

Spoiler for Ulterior Motives:


Spoiler for Author's Note:
*stumbles in and pukes up a river of blood*

And I'm not even writing ^_^ *bloodspit*

Nice addition DC, it's really nice that we get a little flesh out about Vivio's relationship with the other ppl around her. Makes our universe a little less of a raging emotionfiest and more like an actual, well, world where this pairing could happen =D. I've been wanting to give Lutecia a little nod now and then but I'm finding it extremely hard to write her because RB sort of ninja'd her characterization for all eternity, so go you! I'll just stick with the... really awkward humor.

And no, I have no plans of writing a sisterfic for this regarding Viv's later plans to go mage-SEAL xD. Thou, that had make for a good story too.
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Old 2011-11-05, 23:35   Link #34832
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Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake

Forging Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Forging 2:


GAH!

I'm really tired right now.
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Old 2011-11-05, 23:50   Link #34833
Craxuan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake

Forging Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Forging 2:


GAH!

I'm really tired right now.
Vrabazard agrees with me. <3
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Old 2011-11-06, 00:13   Link #34834
mega1987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake

Forging Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Forging 2:


GAH!

I'm really tired right now.
Me: I think Vrabazard got some influence in the development of Thoth...

Odin: Oh really?

Me: it's just my opinion, Odin.

Reia: Sealed memories... Looks like Arisa is at the turning point of her life.

Sarah: Just like our awakening, Rei.

Iris: Let's hope that she won't lose her sight of herself.

Mariemeia: Or just grab Yuuno and rape him on the spot.

Odin: Argh!!! Shut up! *bashed Marie with a large gong*
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Darwin's nominee are best for laughs.
MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
Gundams are your worst nightmare in the battlefield.
SRW beats all foes.
JAM Project pwns all!!!

And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2011-11-06, 03:49   Link #34835
Akiyoshi
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Lol! I wonder if i must be some kind of evil censorship guy or something xDU
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Old 2011-11-06, 16:34   Link #34836
shiroi mahotsukai
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
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Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake

Forging Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Forging 2:


GAH!

I'm really tired right now.
For some reason I think that Vrabazard had his girlfriend over or something, And now we have another tragic cast member, I wonder how she'll handle it.
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Old 2011-11-06, 18:20   Link #34837
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Forging Start

Forging 2

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Forging End:
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Last edited by Nanya01; 2011-11-06 at 19:33.
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Old 2011-11-06, 19:20   Link #34838
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Blood that Flows Omake

O bandit tree, o bandit tree
How swearing are your ornaments

O bandit tree, o bandit tree
Now their hanging from, your branches

Through out the cold, and bitter night
Hanging by, their wedgied tights

O bandit tree, o bandit tree
How whimpering are, your branches
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Old 2011-11-06, 19:47   Link #34839
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Spoiler for Kaiser Mom finally returns:
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Old 2011-11-06, 20:02   Link #34840
Rising Dragon
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... way to tempt fate, Yuuno.
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