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Old 2011-11-14, 22:32   Link #34921
Comartemis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiresias View Post
So I've read the rest at ff.net. Pretty interesting beginning . Is there a list on what magical girl series will be part of this mega-crossover?
Not a formal one, but I can tick off a list of all the shows I can think of that either have appeared or will appear eventually.

Spoiler for Big List:

I think that's everything, though I'm probably forgetting something. This also isn't a final list in any event, we haven't got the future arcs so thoroughly plotted-out that there isn't any room for more series if you can find a way to slot them in somewhere.

Of special note:
  • Nanoha has, in addition to the main cast, our own versions of Yami Seiko and Rai. "Queen Yami" eventually claims rulership over the Prime Materium, a Dark Kingdom she claimed for herself and turned into a refuge for demons and dark magical girls who aren't interested in conquering Earth but also don't really want to play nice with the humans. There's a cold war of sorts between her and the Alliance planned for the later arcs, though it defuses completely save for occasional posturing around the time she meets her niece (Vivio).
  • Force is non-canon because it's not a magical girl show. It shouldn't matter because the Huckbein wouldn't hang around on Earth anyways, but if they do appear it'll probably be in an omake in which they get their faces rearranged by the Pretty Cures or something.
  • Prisma Ilya's inclusion is not an indication that this whole mess takes place in the Nasuverse. To keep from having to write around that mess, we're using only the base concepts used in KLPI, which means basically the Mage's Association and nothing else, no Akasha or Dead Apostles or anything.
  • By the same token, this is also not the world of Madoka Magica. QB is similar to his canon self but has slightly different motives (he's beaming the energy he collects to his home universe, which isn't this one).
  • Sailor Moon is pegged somewhere between their anime and manga selves in terms of power and competence, which means they're somewhere just over anime powerlevels but are hyper-competent to the point where they're a match for the Aces in terms of Who Kicks the Most Monster Butt. Tux Boy as written by Gamlain has earned his nickname, "Batman!Mamoru" because he keeps pulling that sudden appearance/sudden departure trick even when the Arthra has scanners running on the immediate viscinity. This ain't no White Devil of the Moon, folks. We respect our veterans here.
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Old 2011-11-14, 22:47   Link #34922
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Currently still in the process of editing and fixing things for S&S Chapter 3. I should have it done within a few hours or by tomorrow if all goes well. Craxuan, Sunder, your criticisms are being taken to heart and I'm doing my best.

A few minor things were tweaked and some major ones are causing a slight headache since editing them causes a trickle-down effect to other parts of the story.

So far I've hopefully fixed Erio. He's more level headed and gives a clearer description of what he's seen and I've altered mention of his references to Fate as a mother so that is more in line with how he would likely view her canonically. He still gets a bit excited while explaining things, but doesn't turn into a sparkly eyed fanboy.

Fate got a bit of a tweaking when interacting with Erio and I've rewritten the end of her fight with Signum. Had to nix the VA joke though. I got rid of the stagnation idea completely and have been trying to rewrite the rest of the story with the idea that Fate was only improving herself enough to keep up with Bardiche's level of technology, whether she was aware of it or not. Signum is now going with a verbal thrashing rather than a physical one after a certain point in her Strike Arts portion of the fight.

I added more clarification to Signum's reasons for calling up Carim, but right now the biggest issues are showing up in the infirmary since Signum didn't tenderize Fate like a slab of meat and that carries over into Signum's time between her fight with Fate and the fight with Yuuno.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunder the Gold View Post
Ah, but have you thought about WHY his barrier jacket includes a cape?

Even in the present day, Nanoha uses the Flier Fins. Fate's regular barrier jacket retains a cape (or coat?), and her Sonic Form has the Sonic Sails. Hayate herself has the black seraph wings of Sleipnir.

These are flight aids -- additional spells added to the barrier jacket to improve speeds and manueverability.
I'd actually always considered it a stylistic choice. I'm going to be treating things like Flier Fins and the like as aids for certain kinds of aerial maneuvers when their standard flight magic won't cut it.

Quote:
Okay, so it's not just sex. It's courtship.

Any woman wants to know that a man considers her valuable enough to go through hell to impress her. Signum is pleased that someone considers her not only worthy of conquering, but that the man would continue trying to do so even when he's in serious danger of losing.

It wouldn't be the same coming from another warrior who could defeat her easily, because such a warrior would not demonstrate (would not HAVE to demonstrate) just how far they would be willing to go in order to beat her. It's more impressive coming from an inferior opponent.

It's a shame that we don't know more about the plot of Signum's favorite (and forgotten) romance novel. There might be some parallels between this possible "courtship" and the courtship of the female lead in her book.
You have no idea how much I like this and what I want to do with that concept. =3

I will be revisiting the book at some point. So far all we know is that it is some kind of romance novel. But, what kind could it be? Steamy and raunchy smut? Shakespeare? A simple tale of two lovers? Reverse Hikaru Genji? Only I know. *laughs evilly until a coughing fit sets in*

Quote:
Oh my, how indecent. [/teasing]
Well, he already tore the front of her armor off with that throw...

Quote:
Mixed horror and arousal that the kind and gentle Yuuno could become so primitively aggressive and brutal?

Jealousy that he's making love war with another woman?

Perhaps regret that she, a combat instructor, had not tried to repay Yuuno for his teaching by inspiring and guiding him in the pursuit of combat abilities beyond his former limits?

More jealousy that Signum is the one doing so instead of her?

Confusion over whether this is even a good direction for the scholarly Yuuno to grow?

EDIT:

Also, perhaps fascination with the new combat techniques Yuuno is developing, and an aroused desire for challenging combat?
I had not thought of this and now I want to play with it in chapter 4. Frustrated Nanoha could be fun.
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Old 2011-11-14, 23:12   Link #34923
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Spoiler for MD Update:
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Old 2011-11-14, 23:25   Link #34924
Sunder the Gold
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Old_Iron View Post
You have no idea how much I like this and what I want to do with that concept. =3
Cool.

Though it occurs to me that, like so much with Signum, nothing about it needs to be romantic.


Quote:
I will be revisiting the book at some point. So far all we know is that it is some kind of romance novel. But, what kind could it be? Steamy and raunchy smut? Shakespeare? A simple tale of two lovers? Reverse Hikaru Genji? Only I know. *laughs evilly until a coughing fit sets in*
Oh, so you DID have those details in mind? Nice.


Quote:
I had not thought of this and now I want to play with it in chapter 4. Frustrated Nanoha could be fun.
F3 - White Devil edition: Frantic, Frustrated, FIREPOWER
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Old 2011-11-14, 23:54   Link #34925
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
Spoiler for MD Update:
Hostage shield time... and take Erio and Caro with them to take responsibility.

Nanoha: STARLIGHT-
Yami: PANZER SUBSTITUTE! *holds out an unconscious, tied-up, battered Erio and Caro and Fried*
Nanoha: *stops charging* ....
Fate: ERIO!
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Last edited by bhl88; 2011-11-15 at 00:40.
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Old 2011-11-15, 00:53   Link #34926
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bhl88 View Post
Hostage shield time... and take Erio and Caro with them to take responsibility.

Nanoha: STARLIGHT-
Yami: PANZER SUBSTITUTE! *holds out an unconscious, tied-up, battered Erio and Caro and Fried*
Nanoha: *stops charging* ....
Fate: ERIO!
Ah, but you're forgetting--magic damage.

Nanoha: Erio-kun, Caro-chan, Fried-kun, this may hurt a bit.
Yami: You can't be serious.
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Old 2011-11-15, 10:47   Link #34927
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Old 2011-11-15, 12:09   Link #34928
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Okay, that thing is as high on my list of hated characters from this fic as Deathbringer. And I felt like I had to write something to balance the universe for what he did to Olivie. She better get some kind of Massively Karmic Fate Worse than Death for this or worse.
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Old 2011-11-15, 13:06   Link #34929
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Me: Now talk about conspiracy....

Odin: Pavlov's conditioning at it's finest, I say.

Mariemeia: I know I'm a blood-thristy and some what psycho but I'm not THAT I'm not deprived to do that to a child, no matter how old they are, like that.

Val: That marverick just earned herself a one nice meeting with ME if I ever end up there.

Me: Dunno about that, your luck sucks when it come to going to other dimensions...
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Old 2011-11-15, 13:09   Link #34930
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Ah, but you're forgetting--magic damage.

Nanoha: Erio-kun, Caro-chan, Fried-kun, this may hurt a bit.
Yami: You can't be serious.
Fate: Always remember-
Nanoha: STARLIGHT-
Fate: - know your enemy.
Nanoha: BREAKER!
Yami:
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Old 2011-11-15, 13:14   Link #34931
mega1987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
Fate: Always remember-
Nanoha: STARLIGHT-
Fate: - know your enemy.
Nanoha: BREAKER!
Yami:
Me: Oh!

Odin: *Straight face* Dear.

Elane: GOD ALMIGHTY!!!! Nanoha, You just Befriended the kids!

Odin: Yet again... Together with the target.

Mariemeia: is this means she'll have a harem?

Me, Val and Odin: SHUT UP MARIE!!!!
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MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
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And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2011-11-15, 14:06   Link #34932
Sunder the Gold
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Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Ah, but you're forgetting--magic damage.

Nanoha: Erio-kun, Caro-chan, Fried-kun, this may hurt a bit.
Yami: You can't be serious.
Kids: This won't be any different than one of her training sessions, really.
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Old 2011-11-15, 14:24   Link #34933
Comartemis
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One day, Jail Scaglietti woke up.

It didn't happen all at once, coming out of cold sleep doesn't work that way. Instead he came back to himself in a slow wave; his vital functions came online first, both biological and cybernetic. Then came self-awareness as his synapses started firing for the first time ever. Then came the memories.

Jail Scaglietti was not a bad man, not by nature. He was a scientist, ever inquisitive, ever looking to push the boundaries of what was possible with mortal hands. If his curiosity occasionally overcame his good sense, well that was one more valuable lesson learned, wasn't it? But he certainly wasn't the sort to plan acts of terrorism against innocent people. What for? Revenge? Against people who had done nothing to him? How utterly pointless, there are far better pursuits to spend one's time on than malice and petty cruelty.

And yet, one day Jail wakes up and finds his memories full of such plots, some of them currently in progress, some of them even already carried out. Like waking from a nightmare and a long night of heavy drinking, Jail Scaglietti comes to the terrible conclusion that he has not been himself, and in his absence he has done horrible things to people who didn't deserve it.

As he retraces his steps, Jail comes to realize what was done to him. Sensor maintenance several nights before had by freak accident coincided with the timing of a raid on his lab led by Zest Grangeitz and his team of mages, who penetrated into the depths of his lab before being intercepted by the Numbers and gadget security forces. In the confusion, Jail himself was struck down and the elder Numbers disabled before a wounded Cinque was able to finish off the intruders. Damage to critical equipment interfered with the cloning process, resulting in an incomplete copy of the original doctor's DNA being used to create his new body. In particular, a certain wasting illness of the mind is no longer present in his genetic profile; Jail is free of the Unlimited Desire.

Unfortunately he is not so free of the deeds he performed while not in his right mind. Zest and his team are dead, and he finds out quickly that one of his victims left a little girl behind with none to care for her, to say nothing of the Nakajima family. Jail himself also has a family to look after, but he is a fugitive from the bureau and he knows far too much to turn himself in; the bureau's public face may accept defectors and most of them mean it when they say so, but the Council and their agents will have him and his daughters assassinated before they allow him to expose them in court. The straight and narrow is not an option, but neither is bending his knee to the council and giving them what they ask for. The council will almost certainly dispose of him and his daughters when they are no longer of use to him anyways. It's what the old him would have done.

So Jail plays along. He takes the funds he's always been given and he begins making arrangements instead of weapons with it. He takes in Lutecia for appearances sake and tells her everything when he does. He keeps making cyborgs too, but for their original purpose of helping people, not to be terrorists. And then one day a Lost Logia of some sort goes nova and destroys his base. No trace of Jail or his daughters (adopted or otherwise) is ever found.

But every now and then, the bureau will hear strange stories from unadministrated or recently-administrated worlds. They all vary somewhat, but they always involve great catastrophies and terrible accidents averted at the last second by a man in a lab coat and a team of strange girls. You may not even realize that you need help... but if you do, he'll probably be there.

He doesn't go by Jail Scaglietti anymore, though. These days, he just calls himself The Doctor.
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Old 2011-11-15, 14:31   Link #34934
Sunder the Gold
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Old 2011-11-15, 14:43   Link #34935
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Here is the edited and fixed version of chapter 3. Once again split due to posting limitations.

Spoiler for Swords and Shields: Chapter 3: Part 1:
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Last edited by Old_Iron; 2011-11-16 at 11:25. Reason: Cleaning and minor fixes
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Old 2011-11-15, 14:44   Link #34936
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Spoiler for Swords and Shields: Chapter 3: Part 2:
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The Art of Shipping is as profound as it is dangerous; not for the faint of heart nor the weak of will, it makes gods and devils out of us all.

Last edited by Old_Iron; 2011-11-16 at 11:26. Reason: Cleaning and minor fixes
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Old 2011-11-15, 15:00   Link #34937
bhl88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Ah, but you're forgetting--magic damage.

Nanoha: Erio-kun, Caro-chan, Fried-kun, this may hurt a bit.
Yami: You can't be serious.
Yami: If you continue charging, I'm going to poke a hole through their body.
*prepares to grab their Linker cores*
Seikou: *prepares to charge up a Luciferion Breaker*
Raikou: *prepares to grab Caro's board*
Nanoha: ....
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Old 2011-11-15, 16:12   Link #34938
Astral Corruption
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
Spoiler for MD Update:
I idly wonder how they would react to Yuuno's mind control being a love spell to get laid?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bhl88 View Post
Hostage shield time... and take Erio and Caro with them to take responsibility.

Nanoha: STARLIGHT-
Yami: PANZER SUBSTITUTE! *holds out an unconscious, tied-up, battered Erio and Caro and Fried*
Nanoha: *stops charging* ....
Fate: ERIO!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Ah, but you're forgetting--magic damage.

Nanoha: Erio-kun, Caro-chan, Fried-kun, this may hurt a bit.
Yami: You can't be serious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bhl88 View Post
Yami: If you continue charging, I'm going to poke a hole through their body.
*prepares to grab their Linker cores*
Seikou: *prepares to charge up a Luciferion Breaker*
Raikou: *prepares to grab Caro's board*
Nanoha: ....
Nanoha's the Shoot the Hostage type of girl isn't she?
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Old 2011-11-15, 16:19   Link #34939
vic-vic
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
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Ouch, poor Lutecia... but this is reminder for us that mazoku means demon. And when they decide to became rough someone will cry... or scream in agony.
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Old 2011-11-15, 16:28   Link #34940
Rising Dragon
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Nanoha's the Shoot the Hostage type of girl isn't she?
Unlike most, Nanoha could get away with shooting the hostage without killing anyone in the process.
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