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Old 2012-01-22, 01:22   Link #19001
Eratas123
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My iteration is the canon one Only you have a completely different one. All of us use the same iterations who focus more on her negative traits.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:24   Link #19002
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@ Demi - Why not? it'll be unique.

@ Senpai - Is it disrespectful if you call your parents by name?
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:27   Link #19003
EthernalRain
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@ Eratas: It's kinda to be expected, since my fanon has a drastic history change from canon. It's probably one of the more complicated universes.

So complicated, I'm still working out the kinks in it to make it more complicated then it probably needs to be.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:30   Link #19004
Eratas123
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@ Rain - Truth be told, I could barely recognize her at all when she first showed up yelling her butt off and being way too overprotective. Tabane is the same one from canon in Shadow, the only difference is that her actions like the missile launching of Japan are called out more.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:30   Link #19005
ZeroXSEED
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If your parents expected you to do so, it's not. Otherwise, very rude and disrespectful. (unless the parents in question deserved it)

@ Rain
In mine, the problem is not about good and evil when it's comes to Tabane, but chaotic or orderly. Otherwise, she's pretty much neutral.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:33   Link #19006
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@ Senpai - Planning to make a difference for Kazuma. He treats Ichika more like an older brother than a father since he doesn't have a biological birth mother.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:33   Link #19007
EthernalRain
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@Eratas: To be honest, I only started reading the light novel by the time I published chapter 6 of Hotm...

I didn't know much of Tabane's character, so after that, I tried to alter her a bit.

I thought I had to change her a lot, but turns out Motherly!Tabane was a hit.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:35   Link #19008
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That will work, I actually think Ichika is the one told him to do so.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:36   Link #19009
demino_hellsin
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@eras: Unique isn't the problem. I'm just thinking to myself, I'll be giving gospel a lot of power-ups and stuff. It would feel like possession stu or something. Makes me feel crummy.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:37   Link #19010
Eratas123
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@ Rain - HOTM was a hit and one of the highest reviewed fics (White knight and Soaring seem to be taking it's place). Then again, Tabane felt really odd to me.

@ Senpai - How do you think the various kids would act? Siblings or friends?

@ Demi - Yet you're making a fic where monsters from another dimension invade earth. Isn't that more extreme than powering up Gospel?
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:40   Link #19011
demino_hellsin
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@eras: not making, envisioning Gospel basically gets upgrades to whoop all the IS out there, despite those upgrades being the pseudoshifts that have huge drawbacks >.>

First off the basic structure of the machine has to be remade. Too many open spaces so letting gospel move on its own would look weird. I already have an idea on how it modified itself but it still sounds farfetched. Then there's how it's going to survive the canon cast each and every time.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:42   Link #19012
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Why do you even have to upgrade it? It kicked the entire harems ass during it's debut and only the Setsura cannon took it out.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:42   Link #19013
ZeroXSEED
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They never met each other, so the dynamic is swinging between friend, sibling, and incestuous attraction in case of older kids (no kidding).

@ Demi
Well, you insist making crazy upgrades when I told you that exact problem. Still, overpowered is NOT BAD when used within context (really, nobody call Chifuyu a sue despite all her crazy feat). As Eras said, Gospel already a gamebreaker by default, and only twice moment of plot-demanded but reasonably justified upgrade can beat it.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:43   Link #19014
EthernalRain
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I still can't believe the fact myself.

Looking back at the earlier chapters, the glaring flaws in my fic seem to stab out at me as I read them.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:46   Link #19015
demino_hellsin
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@eras: The upgrade is more aesthetic, it won't affect the performance too much. I checked the gospel's structure. Like most IS it's like arms, legs, wings and a helmet. If it started moving on its own it would be weird :|

The pseudo shifts are the real upgrades I was talking about. Though they're all temporary supermodes that end up with it shutting down after use.

The harem won't stay the same, they'll get better. And all gospel has is a broken down mentally 5 year old AI and an IS otaku that has never flown an IS in his life :|
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:49   Link #19016
Eratas123
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The biggest flaw I can find is the Tatenashi confession scene I have no problem with it, but they spent...what, a few hours together at most? You said they spent time together off-screen, but that really has no hold since this is a fanfic and not an anime. To the readers, it looks like she suddenly fell in love with him for no reason.

THe only other flaw is that the summary blatantly states that he has no IS...then he shows that he has IS grade weaponry, an IS grade shield, and wings. How is that not basically owning an IS?

@ Senpai - It doesn't help that they have no features from Ichika himself. The other problem is that the Sarashiki cousins seem really close despite actually being related.

@ Demi - Then I don't see the problem. If it suddenly doesn't gain 100 levels, then it's not imba.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:52   Link #19017
ZeroXSEED
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@Eras
That one case can't be explained by scientific phenomenon, I guess. And actually, Sarashiki's are half-sibling. And unless Ichika got an OT3 ending by default, they still wouldn't coexist.

@ Rain
Ditto.
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:55   Link #19018
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@ Rain - The only male sarashiki acts like a deadpan anime protag By the way, since Ichika gets the harem ending, all the kids end up existing at the end
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Old 2012-01-22, 01:56   Link #19019
demino_hellsin
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the biggest problem is that I can't justify the pseudo shift's biggest point. The fact that it is an ability solely unique to gospel's core. It's neither a one-off ability nor is it an experimental system like valkyrie trace.
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Old 2012-01-22, 02:00   Link #19020
Eratas123
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How about the fact that the Gospel was built to be a weapon so the frame's shifting is actually illegal? The core itself can't shift if you place it on an Uchigane, for example.
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