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Old 2012-02-03, 18:43   Link #10081
Paranoid Android
Underweight Food Hoarder
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Kitch-Water and T.O., Canada
Age: 23
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Yeah I never had that confidence issue. I'm an introvert but I don't find it too hard to talk to someone I'm interested in. It takes some willpower but not nearly as much as something like throwing out the garbage. (TOO LAZY D:< )
But I'm also a very straightforward person, and I don't think I will be able to sympathize those who aren't so.

All my topics of discussion are self history or talk about hobbies. I'd usually spend my time sharing with my partner what I do individually and about hobbies/work/life problems we have in common. The best thing I like to -brag- about is little tricks and things like how to get a discount on buying a TV, or what's the fastest way to get to downtown on a bike. Trivial but they're fun, everything comes with a story. But most of my conversation's are for one sided monologues, it doesn't work unless my partner has something to add, even if she knows nothing about my topic.

Depending on how close you are, the other form of chat is ranting about everything. My exgf would always rant to me about pop culture related and who's the artist plagiarizing other people's work :P.

I'm not sure what I would say if I was at a date with someone with whom I have nothing in common. I have friends who are like that, but they never attracted me or vise versa to begin with.
----------
What's a valentines greeting?

*Does this smell like chloroform?*
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Old 2012-02-03, 20:29   Link #10082
Stiletto
Ineffectual Loner
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
I'm looking forward to Valentine's day. All those heartfelt love letters and gifts for me.~

Not really. I already made it clear to all the people interested in me that I'm not interested in a relationship. Besides I don't need a holiday to show affection to all the ladies.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile View Post
Can we start coming up with the best Valentine greetings now?
Roses are for you, and violets for mai waifus.
Believe or not, that isn't a knife in my pocket.
I'm just especially glad to see you! ♥
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Old 2012-02-03, 20:36   Link #10083
ChainLegacy
廉頗
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Massachusetts, US
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB View Post
Not getting into the rest of it, but this line always irks me. Telling someone to be confident is ridiculous. I don't know about others, but I get confidence through experience. I cannot get experience because I do not have the confidence to attract girls. Ergo, I cannot gain confidence. On the other hand, those who start with some level of confidence get experience, which in turns boosts their confidence. See how you get two nice little cycles there? One positive, and one negative? How does one break out of the negative cycle? Faking confidence sure doesn't work.
Well, you don't have to fake it. Being confident in this circumstance isn't the same as the confidence you might feel before a video game or a sport you are skilled in (well maybe for some guys it is, but I'd venture not too many of us on here ). It's more to do with that cheesy line, 'be yourself.' You just have to have the confidence not to overanalyze what you're saying or doing, not overthink, just try to have the same level of calm and collectedness you'd have among friends, while subtly (not too overtly as to be creepy/desperate) express interest romantically/physically and build rapport.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samari View Post
I'm thinking of asking my girlfriend to marry me.
Good luck man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamer_2k4 View Post
Oh, and I can't say enough for online dating. You know that the other person is interested in dating, and you know a ton about them up front. You can get a good idea of how compatible the two of you are even before ever meeting them. And hey, if you've exhausted the real-life field, why not try online? You'll find people you wouldn't otherwise. At the very least, you won't lose anything by trying. No risk, all reward.
Yeah, it's nice. Now that I'm out of school and too busy for a proper social life (lol) I'm trying it for myself. I've gotten a few girls numbers and have been playing the texting game (ugh ). I'm trying to test the waters to transition into real life meetings, don't wanna jump the gun too soon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GDB View Post
For me, personally, it's the opposite. I don't know what to discuss period, so I likely appear overtly reserved.
I have my own bizarre penchant of interests and have had trouble with this too. A good strategy is to ask generic questions, that are appropriate of course, until you find something you can talk about, even if only a minor comment. You just keep chipping away like that and eventually the whole dam bursts and you converse openly. I think it's just a mental block thing, really.

Last edited by ChainLegacy; 2012-02-03 at 20:47.
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Old 2012-02-03, 20:39   Link #10084
Tenken's Smile
Eternity Wish
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stiletto View Post
Roses are for you, and violets for mai waifus.
Believe or not, that isn't a knife in my pocket.
I'm just especially glad to see you! ♥
Good one!!! But what is "waifus"?? Wife???
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Old 2012-02-03, 22:08   Link #10085
DonQuigleone
Knight Errant
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile View Post
Good one!!! But what is "waifus"?? Wife???
And you call yourself an Anime fan...

Think about how a japanese person would say "Wife". Japanese doesn't end with consonants, and the closest thing to the "i" in wife is ai. So a japanese pronounciation of "Wife" would be "Waifu". Mai is usually added for extra humor.
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Old 2012-02-03, 22:19   Link #10086
Who
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NY, USA
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stiletto View Post
Roses are for you, and violets for mai waifus.
Believe or not, that isn't a knife in my pocket.
I'm just especially glad to see you! ♥
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo...4kkko1_500.jpg
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Old 2012-02-03, 22:26   Link #10087
Hooves
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Location: Xanadu
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Everything is gray~
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Old 2012-02-04, 07:40   Link #10088
Masuzu
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Almost all the people I know are calling February 14 'Forever-alone Day'.
Thanks 9GAG, now none of my friends bother to make their own jokes.

I'm planning to have my friend cross-dress for February 14, though I'm not sure if I can find a good enough wig.
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Old 2012-02-04, 09:35   Link #10089
monsta666
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: London, England
Age: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Detective-san View Post
Almost all the people I know are calling February 14 'Forever-alone Day'.
Thanks 9GAG, now none of my friends bother to make their own jokes.

I'm planning to have my friend cross-dress for February 14, though I'm not sure if I can find a good enough wig.
Ah don't despair too much about Valentine's day if you are single. While the theme is nice it has been overdone and has become commercialised. I am of the belief that if you like your partner enough you don't need a specific day to show it. If you love them then there are 365 days in the year to show that love. If you do that often enough then Valentines day becomes superfluous.

Ah but good luck on that wig!
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Old 2012-02-04, 09:48   Link #10090
solomon
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Suburban DC
Yea. For some Halloween gets kinda pointless after your pass the trick or treat/party all night years.

Valentine's Day is MUCH easier to ignore. It's a big deal only if you make it to be. (Unlike Christmas or New Years which RULE)
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Old 2012-02-04, 10:15   Link #10091
DonQuigleone
Knight Errant
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by solomon View Post
Yea. For some Halloween gets kinda pointless after your pass the trick or treat/party all night years.
Frankly, I stopped caring about Halloween when it stopped being about ghouls, vampires and zombies, and started being about dressing up as any old thing.

Halloween lost all it's flavour.
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Old 2012-02-04, 13:00   Link #10092
ChainLegacy
廉頗
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Massachusetts, US
Age: 25
Halloween is now a time for teenage girls to wear as little clothing as possible. Dracula must be rolling in his non-grave.
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Old 2012-02-04, 14:12   Link #10093
solomon
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Suburban DC
Dude it's not just teenage girls, it's college girls and 20 somehtings........frankly that the only reason I still give a hoot about Halloween at 24, that and watching the Great Pumpkin.

It probably is the wierdest ass holiday in the known universe.

But yea about Pink roses by Hallmark Day? It's only a big deal if you want to dwell on it, I didn't even know it was coming up until someone mentioned it!
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Old 2012-02-04, 14:20   Link #10094
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detective-san View Post
Almost all the people I know are calling February 14 'Forever-alone Day'.
February 14 is nicknamed "Forever-alone Day"
While December is nicknamed "Forever-alone Month"

Or so I hear.
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Old 2012-02-04, 14:43   Link #10095
warita
Dai-Youkai
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Vienna
Personally I dont like it, when people go so self pity on themselves and whenever Valentines come up and they start whining about being lonely. There is something really lame about that.

I am in a relationship right now, but that wasnt always so. Last year valentines was the first one I actually celebrated properly, because before that I was either single (most of the time) or in an abusive relationship where the guy couldnt care less about Valentines or me for that matter. And I never whined about not being able to celebrate Valentines with anybody or about not having a relationship.

Trust me, it is actually a lot bitterer, when your partner ignores you and your emotional needs, then to be single!!! I speak out of experience.

Besides, whats the big deal anyways? If you are single, then you can always continue your daily routine as normal. There is no obligation for you to organize a date for this day, unless of course thats what you want and you make a good use of the opportunity to ask a girl out.

There is no reaso to be upset about Valentines and call it the day of the lonely.
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Old 2012-02-04, 14:47   Link #10096
Who
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NY, USA
Age: 24
I, for one, plan on whoring myself out on Valentine's Day and attending every dance/speed dating event going on in campus. Haven't tried it before and sounds like fun. Best that can happen? I find a girl I connect with. Worst that can happen? I have a lot of fun.

In other stories, I hate when guys are way too overprotective of their girlfriends. I tease my roommate's girlfriend about her hiccups and he starts bitching and moaning at me about being an insensitive jerk.

Last edited by Who; 2012-02-04 at 15:09.
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Old 2012-02-04, 15:04   Link #10097
Stiletto
Ineffectual Loner
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Nothing bad about being over-protective. In fact, if you show a kind of jealousy the more liable a relationship will work out. Don't beleive me? Look at it this way: It tells her you sicnerely care and want to be with her. Being too intense about it though, will of course make her seem like an object to you. All in moderation.

Though hey, maybe we should move this over to the Valentine's thread? I'm just saying it probably needs the attention. No need to derail the dating thread too much. Not like those times in the "post pictures of yourself" thread. Ah, good times... good times. God I'm so sentimental, just shoot me.
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Old 2012-02-04, 15:09   Link #10098
Who
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Location: NY, USA
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stiletto View Post
Nothing bad about being over-protective. In fact, if you show a kind of jealousy the more liable a relationship will work out. Don't beleive me? Look at it this way: It tells her you sicnerely care and want to be with her. Being too intense about it though, will of course make her seem like an object to you. All in moderation.
He's very good boyfriend material from the way I've seen him treat his girlfriend. However, it wasn't jealousy. I wasn't flirting with her in any way; he just got insanely mad and started to rip into me verbally. It's one thing to get mad at someone who insults your significant other, but when it's playful teasing and the girl herself laughed at it, then it's baffling, especially since he's been my roommate for 2 years now.
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Old 2012-02-04, 15:22   Link #10099
Ledgem
Love Yourself
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
I am in a relationship right now, but that wasnt always so. Last year valentines was the first one I actually celebrated properly, because before that I was either single (most of the time) or in an abusive relationship where the guy couldnt care less about Valentines or me for that matter. And I never whined about not being able to celebrate Valentines with anybody or about not having a relationship.

Trust me, it is actually a lot bitterer, when your partner ignores you and your emotional needs, then to be single!!! I speak out of experience.
That sounds terrible, but your own suffering doesn't invalidate the suffering of others. If people feel sad or depressed about being single on Valentine's Day, it's better to be supportive of them, right? There's always someone who has it worse, but suffering is suffering, no matter how relative it may be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
Besides, whats the big deal anyways? If you are single, then you can always continue your daily routine as normal. There is no obligation for you to organize a date for this day, unless of course thats what you want and you make a good use of the opportunity to ask a girl out.
It's about being left out. There's a holiday specifically for people in a relationship to celebrate, and if you're single, you are left out of the celebration. On top of that, many people wish that they were in a relationship, but haven't been able to find or enter into one. Valentine's Day then becomes a day where singles are constantly reminded of that fact.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Who View Post
In other stories, I hate when guys are way too overprotective of their girlfriends. I tease my roommate's girlfriend about her hiccups and he starts bitching and moaning at me about being an insensitive jerk.
You never know what's going on behind the scenes. I know that there have been times when people said various things to my wife and she seemed fine with them, but then she broke down crying over them to me in private. Similarly, maybe the girl is really sensitive about her hiccups (or other bodily actions), or just really sensitive in general, and her boyfriend was protecting her.

On the other hand, it's also possible that the girl would really be fine with it, but the guy is the one who is sensitive and feels that his girlfriend would be sensitive over it, as well.
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Old 2012-02-04, 16:58   Link #10100
warita
Dai-Youkai
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Vienna
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
If people feel sad or depressed about being single on Valentine's Day, it's better to be supportive of them, right?
First of all, I am being supportive, because if they take what I said to heart, then they will stop suffering (not that I really expect that to happen).
Drowning in selfpity has never helped anybody as far as I know. If you are unhappy with a certain situation, then take steps to rectify it = find yourself a gf. And if that is not possible.... and believe me, I have spent long time in the single land to know how difficult it is to find the right person, then find other sense in life. Life doesnt revolve around a relationship. One can lead a fruitful and happy life without one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
There's a holiday specifically for people in a relationship to celebrate, and if you're single, you are left out of the celebration.
You said it yourself, it is for people IN a relationship. If you are NOT in a relationship, then it doesnt concern you. Basically, what you are saying is, that people cant stand the idea that some others have what they dont. Not a nice character trait, if you ask me.

I have been single long enough and felt lonely as well. Yet the world has never heard me whine about the valentines day.
It is something for people who have a partner and instead of wasting energy on whining, I rather invest it into something more beneficial.
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