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Old 2012-02-04, 17:16   Link #10101
Kafriel
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
Age: 25
I only ever feel lonely twice a year, and Valentine's is not one of those times. Never heard of any nicknames for it though...not much goes on either, just a few extra decorations at the mall and stuff. Everything else is pretty much the same, there's no reason to be more emotional than any other day of the year~
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Old 2012-02-04, 17:50   Link #10102
DonQuigleone
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Who View Post
In other stories, I hate when guys are way too overprotective of their girlfriends. I tease my roommate's girlfriend about her hiccups and he starts bitching and moaning at me about being an insensitive jerk.
I had this problem with my older sister's boyfriend a few times. Put it this way, like all siblings we argue sometimes, but otherwise we're pretty close. I don't really think the boyfriend has any kind of right to tell the younger brother what he can or cannot do,and it's not like I've ever upset my sister either. He just thinks my sister isn't capable of looking after herself... He's not as bad about this as he used to be though, he seems to have mellowed a bit, maybe my sister gave him a good talking to .

When a boyfriend or girlfriend acts protectively it implies that their partner isn't capable of looking after themselves, and implies an inequality in the relationship. That's not right. If I had a partner, I'd only aggresively intercede on her behalf if she wanted me to, and certainly not in a familial situation that she has handled herself for her whole life.


@Valentines day: Once I've got a GF, I'm going to make a point of having a romantic dinner on February the 10th or something, and do nothing in particular on the 14th.
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Old 2012-02-04, 17:55   Link #10103
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
First of all, I am being supportive, because if they take what I said to heart, then they will stop suffering (not that I really expect that to happen).
Drowning in selfpity has never helped anybody as far as I know. If you are unhappy with a certain situation, then take steps to rectify it = find yourself a gf. And if that is not possible.... and believe me, I have spent long time in the single land to know how difficult it is to find the right person, then find other sense in life. Life doesnt revolve around a relationship. One can lead a fruitful and happy life without one.
I don't disagree with what you're saying, but telling people 'it's lame to feel bad about yourself and your current situation, and I've experienced much worse (so you have nothing to feel bad about)' is... well, I disagree with the method of delivery

Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
You said it yourself, it is for people IN a relationship. If you are NOT in a relationship, then it doesnt concern you. Basically, what you are saying is, that people cant stand the idea that some others have what they dont. Not a nice character trait, if you ask me.
Nope, that's not what I'm saying. Maybe it's a bit more of a low-key event where you're from, but here in America they've turned it into a big deal. Never mind what other people are doing, there's Valentine's Day stuff all over the place. It is a constant reminder of the fact that while much of society is engaging in it, none of it applies to you, because there is something missing from your life (assuming that's what you want).

Of course singles can be happy in spite of Valentine's Day, and of course you can be happy even if you're not in a relationship. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling a bit down on Valentine's Day if you're single and are interested in dating, though.
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Old 2012-02-04, 18:45   Link #10104
DonQuigleone
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Age: 25
Eh, where I am, other then a few card shops, there isn't usually much hubbub over Valentines day. Hallmark Holiday and all that.


Also, telling someone "you shouldn't feel bad about what you feel bad about because it's nothing compared to what others go through" doesn't really help much, if anything, it only makes them feel worse.

Now, not only can they hate themselves for the original thing, but they on top of that they can hate themselves for being an undeserving depressed drama queen. Not pretty.
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Old 2012-02-04, 20:21   Link #10105
warita
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Location: Vienna
Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
Eh, where I am, other then a few card shops, there isn't usually much hubbub over Valentines day. Hallmark Holiday and all that.


Also, telling someone "you shouldn't feel bad about what you feel bad about because it's nothing compared to what others go through" doesn't really help much, if anything, it only makes them feel worse.

Now, not only can they hate themselves for the original thing, but they on top of that they can hate themselves for being an undeserving depressed drama queen. Not pretty.
Actually, when I said that I have gone through worse, I didnt mean to say that this isnt the reason why other shouldnt feel bad. What I meant to express is, that I understand what it is like.

And my point was, that even though I have gone through worse, I still didnt complain and others shouldnt either. It is perfectly normal to desire to be in fullfilling relationship and to have somebody to love to.... sure. But it is not normal to whine and drown in self pity. If you are distasisfied, go and do something about it, but for god sake dont make other people enjoying valentines feel like its their fault that you are single and unhappy.

Last edited by warita; 2012-02-04 at 20:38.
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Old 2012-02-04, 21:07   Link #10106
DonQuigleone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warita View Post
And my point was, that even though I have gone through worse, I still didnt complain and others shouldnt either. It is perfectly normal to desire to be in fullfilling relationship and to have somebody to love to.... sure. But it is not normal to whine and drown in self pity. If you are distasisfied, go and do something about it, but for god sake dont make other people enjoying valentines feel like its their fault that you are single and unhappy.
True, though it's occasionally nice to give yourself a chance to whine, threads like this provide a decent opportunity.
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Old 2012-02-05, 06:06   Link #10107
warita
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
True, though it's occasionally nice to give yourself a chance to whine, threads like this provide a decent opportunity.
Yeah, I suppose you are right... for therapeutical reasons :P
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Old 2012-02-05, 06:35   Link #10108
solomon
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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No those are good points. And I am sure a lot of people are taking a light hearted approach to their "ronery" sthtick. It's for people who go above that who DONT have some deablilitating disease to help them find someone that I have a problem with....

I dunno maybe it's cause I am friends with one who is going through some stuff right now...
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Old 2012-02-14, 18:52   Link #10109
warita
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Vienna
This is what I made for valentines day for my boyfriend.



I think looking at the summer night sky is so romantic.... and I am happy I made the card in unusual colors for the valentines day. It is original
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Old 2012-02-14, 20:01   Link #10110
solomon
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Congratulations, you made all the ronery males on here cry in despair....hehhahahaaa.

Nice work on the subtle coloring there.
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Old 2012-02-14, 20:15   Link #10111
Stiletto
Ineffectual Loner
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
I'm not ronery, I'm ornery. Difference.

That is adorable, Warita. Cats are my favorite pets and seeing something like this is great. Hey, hope you enjoyed Valentines with him.
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Old 2012-02-14, 21:33   Link #10112
Endless Soul
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Age: 46
Very nice, warita.

Endless "Appreciator of art" Soul
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Old 2012-02-15, 00:43   Link #10113
Kafriel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solomon View Post
Congratulations, you made all the ronery males on here cry in despair....hehhahahaaa.

Nice work on the subtle coloring there.
Hey no worries, I'll get your mood right up, my best friend found out that his gf had been cheating on him for four months yesterday, you don't even want to imagine how he spent his valentine's day...
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Old 2012-02-15, 07:30   Link #10114
warita
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Thank you guys for your kind words, you made me happy.
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Old 2012-02-15, 19:53   Link #10115
DonQuigleone
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Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 25
I write comic cards for special occasions myself. Beats buying a something shmaltzy courtesy of Hallmark.
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Old 2012-02-16, 18:50   Link #10116
ChainLegacy
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Massachusetts, US
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
I had this problem with my older sister's boyfriend a few times. Put it this way, like all siblings we argue sometimes, but otherwise we're pretty close. I don't really think the boyfriend has any kind of right to tell the younger brother what he can or cannot do,and it's not like I've ever upset my sister either. He just thinks my sister isn't capable of looking after herself... He's not as bad about this as he used to be though, he seems to have mellowed a bit, maybe my sister gave him a good talking to .
I'm angry on your behalf just reading that...

Though I suppose my outrage stems from me being an eldest sibling... I'm picturing some little punk trying to tell me what to do, not gonna fly
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Old 2012-02-16, 21:40   Link #10117
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChainLegacy View Post
I'm angry on your behalf just reading that...

Though I suppose my outrage stems from me being an eldest sibling... I'm picturing some little punk trying to tell me what to do, not gonna fly
Being married to someone who occasionally takes verbal abuse from a younger sibling, I can understand it. I've never intervened (usually because it occurs when I'm not around), but I most certainly would if things started getting out of hand. Although on DonQuigleone's case, it sounds like the boyfriend was being a bit overprotective. If he's a single child, himself, he may not understand the dynamics that siblings can go through.
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Old 2012-02-17, 09:39   Link #10118
DonQuigleone
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
Being married to someone who occasionally takes verbal abuse from a younger sibling, I can understand it. I've never intervened (usually because it occurs when I'm not around), but I most certainly would if things started getting out of hand. Although on DonQuigleone's case, it sounds like the boyfriend was being a bit overprotective. If he's a single child, himself, he may not understand the dynamics that siblings can go through.
I believe he is a single child. I can understand some intervention if I was being genuinely "abusive", however, if you're not fully aware of family dynamics, it's a lot better to "stay out" of any arguments and observe. It's disrespectful to all involved to play "hero". My sister is perfectly capable of looking after herself (at least where I'm concerned).
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Old 2012-02-17, 10:40   Link #10119
Endless Soul
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Age: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by DonQuigleone View Post
I believe he is a single child. I can understand some intervention if I was being genuinely "abusive", however, if you're not fully aware of family dynamics, it's a lot better to "stay out" of any arguments and observe. It's disrespectful to all involved to play "hero". My sister is perfectly capable of looking after herself (at least where I'm concerned).
As a single child, this is exactly what I do. As much as Mrs. E.S. wants me to get involved and take her side when she is quarreling with her younger sister, I'm all "Hell no!" about it and let them duke it out (figuratively speaking) on their own.

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Old 2012-02-17, 10:58   Link #10120
SaintessHeart
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Endless Soul View Post
As a single child, this is exactly what I do. As much as Mrs. E.S. wants me to get involved and take her side when she is quarreling with her younger sister, I'm all "Hell no!" about it and let them duke it out (figuratively speaking) on their own.

Endless "Smarter than I look" Soul
When women are fighting, it is best for men to stay out of it. Even if they are fighting over you.

Don't argue with me - I have got alot more experience dealing with issues like that. Most of them are painful.
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