|2012-03-05, 13:09||Link #14284|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"
The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.
Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."
|2012-03-05, 17:30||Link #14287|
Go Big Red!
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Heart of Liberion
USA 50 State Mottoes:
Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado: Now 100% John Denver Free!
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet
Delaware: Everything is Smaller Here
Florida: More Than Just a Great Place to Die
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, Not Really, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things with Corn
Kansas: First of the Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: Don't worry, We All Come with Translators.
Maine: We're Really Cold, but We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: Coming soon, Baltimore's top junkie!
Massachusetts: Now with 30% Fewer Kennedys!
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota: 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction
Mississippi: Come and Feel Better About Your Own State
Montana: Land Of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else
Nebraska: Bring Something to Do
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: What Smell?
New Mexico: Cleaner than Regular Mexico and Less Bodies in the Sandbox
New York: You Have the Right To Remain Silent, You Have the Right To an Attorney
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl - It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: Welcome to Rhode Island. You're now leaving Rhode Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family - Really!
Wisconsin: Come Smell our Dairy Air
Wyoming: Where Men are Men (And The Sheep are Scared)
|2012-03-05, 20:24||Link #14289|
|2012-03-05, 22:07||Link #14292|
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Down under...
|2012-03-06, 01:43||Link #14297|
The Chaotic Dreamer
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a cruel yet beautiful world
^LMAO. The epic narration (and music) makes everything about that mockumentary perfect. Also LOL @ the family at 1:46. Was that planned? If it wasn't that's HILARIOUS.