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Old 2012-03-10, 19:38   Link #10261
Crimrui
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Join Date: May 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detective-san View Post
On the topic of weddings, I have never been to a single one.
Hopefully, we will be on our own.
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Old 2012-03-10, 20:06   Link #10262
NoemiChan
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Civil wedding far better for me.... its recognized legally.
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Old 2012-03-11, 00:46   Link #10263
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samari View Post
From the research I've conducted thus far, I hear it's expensive and complicated. Any thoughts on where I should begin? There is so much information on the internet I'm not sure where to start. I was even thinking about making a separate thread on this.
My wedding was somewhere between 100-200 people, if I remember right. It is only really as expensive, extravagant, and complicated as you want it to be. The only absolute requirement is an officiant - someone with the authority to certify the marriage, making it legally valid. My wife and I, not being overly religious, utilized the services of a retired judge who did weddings. (His services weren't free, but he didn't ask for much, either, and was very pleasant to work with.)

If you want to do a "standard" wedding, it can be fairly involved. Make a guest list, choose your wedding cards, send them out; choose your bridal party line-up, choose the clothing (yours and the bridal party's, unless you choose to freestyle it - the wedding dress can take considerable time and expense, but not all good wedding dresses need to be in the thousand-dollar range), choose a make-up artist, choose the rings; choose the venue for the wedding and make reservations; choose catering options (venue may provide them), choose your wedding cake, choose a DJ/music/entertainment if you want; choose a recording service (videographers, photographers) if you want; get a first dance routine and practice your butt off (many weddings seem to be cutting this part out; there are services that will make a routine and train you for money, but my wife and I did it cheaply, renting multiple "wedding dance" DVDs, chaining combinations of our own, and self-teaching - it was a big success).

I'm probably leaving some things out. Then the day comes, it's over in what feels like a flash, and you get to write thank-you cards to everyone who attended, making particular note of who gave what gift!

Going through the full ordeal seems like a really daunting, almost overwhelming task. My advice is to start planning early, and take family assistance if it's offered. If I remember right, my wife and I started planning a year or slightly more in advance, and her family did most of the heavy lifting when it came to things like getting information and contacting places.
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Old 2012-03-16, 20:16   Link #10264
DukeOfVeglia
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This is a general question really, which is... Well, I can't exactly wrap my head around this logic, so girls, do enlighten me. I want to understand you, really do. For those of us who have traversed through the lanes of infinite "friendzoneness," there is one sentence a girl says which is epic in its pure "whaaaa?!" factor. "I wish I had a guy like you."

............

Now, okay, let's look at the criteria for a moment.

1. I'm a g..., (wait), yup I'm a guy (just triple checking).

2. I'm.... me?

So... if you want a guy like me, why not just have me?

"Oh, but I like you as a friend."



Sooooo.... you're looking for a boyfriend who is exactly like your friend. Which, if we follow this simple math, means that you're basically looking for a friend but aren't?

Yup, brain definitely imploding.
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Old 2012-03-16, 20:50   Link #10265
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DukeOfVeglia View Post
This is a general question really, which is... Well, I can't exactly wrap my head around this logic, so girls, do enlighten me. I want to understand you, really do. For those of us who have traversed through the lanes of infinite "friendzoneness," there is one sentence a girl says which is epic in its pure "whaaaa?!" factor. "I wish I had a guy like you."

............

Now, okay, let's look at the criteria for a moment.

1. I'm a g..., (wait), yup I'm a guy (just triple checking).

2. I'm.... me?

So... if you want a guy like me, why not just have me?

"Oh, but I like you as a friend."



Sooooo.... you're looking for a boyfriend who is exactly like your friend. Which, if we follow this simple math, means that you're basically looking for a friend but aren't?

Yup, brain definitely imploding.
I'm not a girl, and I'm sure that different girls will have different takes on it, but the way that it was explained to me (which makes sense) is that a romantic relationship poses an inherent risk. It alters the friendship, and removes you as a friend. Is there potential for something wonderful to happen? Sure, but there's also the potential that things could go wrong. What would happen then? The girl would have lost one of her good friends (and more importantly, a male friend, one who can provide insights into the opposite sex - the value of having a male friend varies from girl to girl depending on how comfortable they are with guys).

Everyone is afraid of failure, and it certainly seems that relationships fail more often than they succeed. The girl can't have her cake and eat it too (that is, date you and keep you as a friend, as you are, at the same time), so she goes with the more conservative option.

Edit: There's another part to this, actually. There's a saying that every guy who is friends with a girl just wants to sleep with her. Many people reject this notion - and rightfully so. However, if the girl you're friends with is attractive, she's probably used to being hit on. If you approached her and made friends with her, without hitting on her for a substantial amount of time, then she probably allowed herself to become comfortable with you. She likely figured that you weren't interested in her. This then goes back to my original point: if she values you as a friend, and she's content with the relationship as it is, then there's no reason for her to risk it by dating you.
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Old 2012-03-18, 00:02   Link #10266
grylsyjaeger
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It's strange, I've known my best friend for the better of ten years and had a regular place in his family circle and know everyone of them as well as my own family.

I wasn't surprised when I received an invite to his younger sister's twenty-first birthday down in the city. I was looking forward to going down and catching up with everyone because since going to the city for studies, we haven't been able to keep in touch as regularly as we used to.

And last night just felt like something straight out of an anime with the idiot protagonist (me) finally looking at a girl who he's known for so long finally as a woman (mate's sister).

Damn I was nervy as hell talking to her last night and even though I know her pretty well. I felt about two inches tall talking to her.


I'm not asking for advice I just thought I'd organize my feelings a bit more just typing them out.

Just keep thinking to myself that if I tried to get to know her better it'd be a pretty awkward conversation with my mate that's for bloody sure!

Knowing him though he'd probably enjoy the thought of being brothers in law. Haha.
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Old 2012-03-18, 10:07   Link #10267
Mystique
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Join Date: May 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DukeOfVeglia View Post
This is a general question really, which is... Well, I can't exactly wrap my head around this logic, so girls, do enlighten me. I want to understand you, really do. For those of us who have traversed through the lanes of infinite "friendzoneness," there is one sentence a girl says which is epic in its pure "whaaaa?!" factor. "I wish I had a guy like you."

............

Now, okay, let's look at the criteria for a moment.

1. I'm a g..., (wait), yup I'm a guy (just triple checking).

2. I'm.... me?

So... if you want a guy like me, why not just have me?

"Oh, but I like you as a friend."



Sooooo.... you're looking for a boyfriend who is exactly like your friend. Which, if we follow this simple math, means that you're basically looking for a friend but aren't?

Yup, brain definitely imploding.


I can't recall ever saying that to anyone tbh, but here's my two pence.
You're friendzone'd right?

I wish I could get a boyfriend who has your sweet personality but also is attractive to me for sex and more, together.

A guy who has been friend-zoned, typically doesn't signal any sexual desires in a woman, hence you're a 'friend', 'buddy'.
Reliable, comfy, safe but not on our radar as a potential boyfriend, our instincts have been tuned out from that kinda thing with you hence it's very, very difficult to re-wire it in a woman.

If a guy from the start has some kinda charm, attraction that keeps her intrigued, then you can build a relationship based on it and see if things naturally progress into more or not.

But to be honest, that kinda girl isn't worth your time. To say that to a guy and not bat an eyelash shows she's incredibly blind/stupid or just cruel to cut up a guy like that.
"I want someone like you, but just not you".

Don't be used and abused, find a lady who appreciates you and you her
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Old 2012-03-19, 13:08   Link #10268
DukeOfVeglia
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Well yeah, I did, but not recently, this was basically just a brainstorm.

And thank you, thank you, thank you. Finally someone who can give me straight up, uncomplicated answer.
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Old 2012-03-20, 02:16   Link #10269
warita
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post

But to be honest, that kinda girl isn't worth your time. To say that to a guy and not bat an eyelash shows she's incredibly blind/stupid or just cruel to cut up a guy like that.
"I want someone like you, but just not you".

Don't be used and abused, find a lady who appreciates you and you her
I have to agree with this strongly. If this woman had a shred of empathy in her (and I assume here she knows you have interest in her..... women usually pick up on this easily), then she would never say anything like this. You could almost say she is mocking you, she thinks she can say just about anything to you and it wont have consequencies because you are that nice guy just as she said, who she can drag along and who will always be there for her.

Be smart DukeofVeglia, I wish you luck!!
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Old 2012-03-20, 20:40   Link #10270
King Lycan
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I told this girl I liked her before, I didn't get rejected or anything she likes me as well but she's been acting like a total ass lately when we talk via text or twitter but when we meet in person she's all nice and etc. I guess she's the type of girl that likes assholes? I seem to be attracted to a lot of girls like that but I consider myself a "nice guy"
I've actually been feeling really lonely lately which is a rarity I guess cause i'm a little older ?
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Old 2012-03-20, 20:46   Link #10271
Ascaloth
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post
I told this girl I liked her before, I didn't get rejected or anything she likes me as well but she's been acting like a total ass lately when we talk via text or twitter but when we meet in person she's all nice and etc. I guess she's the type of girl that likes assholes? I seem to be attracted to a lot of girls like that but I consider myself a "nice guy"
I've actually been feeling really lonely lately which is a rarity I guess cause i'm a little older ?
Not enough info, dude. What do you mean by 'total ass'?
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Old 2012-03-20, 20:55   Link #10272
King Lycan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Not enough info, dude. What do you mean by 'total ass'?
I try to start a conversation all she says is "bye"
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Old 2012-03-20, 21:07   Link #10273
Ascaloth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post
I try to start a conversation all she says is "bye"
She could be busy with her own stuff at home? She just doesn't like conversing online? Maybe she's avoiding you because the impression that she likes you is all in your own head, and she's polite to you in public only because she doesn't have a choice otherwise?

There could be so many reasons for this sort of behaviour, you know. Best thing you can do is to call her out on it, and get the full story.
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Old 2012-03-20, 21:22   Link #10274
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post
I try to start a conversation all she says is "bye"
That's weird... you'd think that she'd just ignore you if she didn't want to have a conversation. Saying "bye" seems like she's either snubbing you, or something else. Maybe she thinks it's a joke? Have you tried asking her about it?
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Old 2012-03-22, 12:22   Link #10275
King Lycan
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
She could be busy with her own stuff at home? She just doesn't like conversing online? Maybe she's avoiding you because the impression that she likes you is all in your own head, and she's polite to you in public only because she doesn't have a choice otherwise?

There could be so many reasons for this sort of behaviour, you know. Best thing you can do is to call her out on it, and get the full story.
Oh no its not in my head lol I'm pretty sure ( a lot of drunk calls )

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
That's weird... you'd think that she'd just ignore you if she didn't want to have a conversation. Saying "bye" seems like she's either snubbing you, or something else. Maybe she thinks it's a joke? Have you tried asking her about it?
I will ask her but I think she's jealous of the attention I've been giving one of our mutual friends (another girl I like). I thank Twitter for that it seems like every girl knows every other girl around here
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Old 2012-03-22, 12:27   Link #10276
warita
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post
Oh no its not in my head lol I'm pretty sure ( a lot of drunk calls )



I will ask her but I think she's jealous of the attention I've been giving one of our mutual friends (another girl I like). I thank Twitter for that it seems like every girl knows every other girl around here
God I hate social networks and how people "burb and fart" everything on them.

For that reason I dont share any personal info on FB and I never really understood the purpose of twitter.

King Lycan, how old is that girl? That behaviour reminds me of teenie antics. In case she is a teenager, than it is a normal behaviour She will grow out of it eventually.

Btw, is the other girl you like equally complicated? If not, maybe you want to concentrate your attention on the second, it will be less of a rollercoaster ride.
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Old 2012-04-05, 09:42   Link #10277
germanturkey
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I need someone to know this. Need to get it off my chest.

If I could ask her one thing, it would be, "Did I ever have a chance to begin with?"
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Old 2012-04-05, 09:45   Link #10278
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germanturkey View Post
I need someone to know this. Need to get it off my chest.

If I could ask her one thing, it would be, "Did I ever have a chance to begin with?"
I understand that feeling. I couldn't help but think what could have been if things work out
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Old 2012-04-05, 11:38   Link #10279
Endless Soul
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Join Date: May 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MUAHAHAHAHAHA View Post
I understand that feeling. I couldn't help but think what could have been if things work out
We all think about what-ifs and what-might-have-beens. More so as we get older. I think it's only natural to think about the different directions your life might have taken.

What if I took the computer job instead of the retail job?

What if I kissed Marjorie that night on the beach instead of chickening out?

In the end, where you are today is usually because of the decisions you made earlier in life whether they were good or bad decisions. Either way, they are in the past and cannot be changed.

Also, while it might be entertaining for a while to think about what-ifs, it's best not to dwell too much on them. Even with the bad decisions I made in my life, if I didn't make them, I would never have met my wife, and there certainly would not be the daughter that I love and cherish now.

Endless "No regrets" Soul
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Old 2012-04-05, 13:31   Link #10280
Gamer_2k4
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germanturkey View Post
I need someone to know this. Need to get it off my chest.

If I could ask her one thing, it would be, "Did I ever have a chance to begin with?"
In my opinion, you learn a lot more from failed relationships than from successful ones. I had a six month relationship with a girl, that, had I known then what I do now, was clearly doomed from the start. There was a lot of fighting and frustration, despite the few good times, and I don't think I was ever really happy. Would I take it back, though? Absolutely not.
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