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Old 2012-05-31, 09:26   Link #31661
greedyspectator
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@Eratas:
Well, I also believe in God, and it does show in my writing, just not in a way that is common.

And yes, I agree with you that senseless sacrifice in heroes is utterly stupid. But then again, it's really difficult to determine whether or not a sacrifice is senseless or has meaning. For example, is a hero sacrificing his life to save a thousand people meaningful? Even though the hero can save ten thousand lives if he lives? It's not black and white. Worse, if he does sacrifice his life to save a thousand, then he his guilty for killing the ten thousand lives he could have saved. Because every time a person he could save yet can't because he's dead, he is indirectly the murderer of that person for not doing anything. The same concept applies to pacifism and aversity to murder in general, Batman is a murderer no less than the Joker, for all the lives the Joker took that Batman could've saved by killing him.

Damn, now I'm going to another tract. Sorry .

EDIT: @Zero
Well, just my opinion, but Salvation War is horrible. In a literary standpoint, the humans are waaaaaaay too overpowered for the story to be interesting. In the first book, the author wrote that the human coalition nearly lost because they are very close to running out of ammo. Well, just my opinion, but this seems to be the author's half-assed way of trying to make the human coalition victory less than a curb stomp. I don't mind reading literature that contradicts my world view, and in fact I read a lot of them. But in my opinion, Salvation War is just too... boring. I can see the victor from page 1 of the writing.
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Old 2012-05-31, 09:30   Link #31662
ZeroXSEED
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Nah, it's okay, this is place for discussion and occasional debates, just be sure not to...ahh, 'enforce' it, like what I did sometimes ago.

Just remember, readers want a story, not a tract.
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Old 2012-05-31, 09:37   Link #31663
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Another draft. This time focusing more on breaking with words.

Spoiler:
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Old 2012-05-31, 09:43   Link #31664
ZeroXSEED
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So.... Irish' enemy is even more psycho now? Poor little dude just can't catch a break, ne?

It more or less return to your favorable monologue: Irish was considerably less 'wordy' and 'emotional' than in IKaron draft, personally, I like the IKaron version because there, irish is less a narrator and more a character, but then again, emotional is not his initial characterization. What a dilemma

EDIT: Oh, and th spoiler tag
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Old 2012-05-31, 09:46   Link #31665
Eratas123
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You don't really have time to be emotional with a psychopath spewing out philosophy at you while your hands are tied to a cinderblock over a cliff. If you have time to be a snarker while this is happening, then you're a fricking champ at what you do.
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Old 2012-05-31, 09:50   Link #31666
ZeroXSEED
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^ what I said, it's just a personal opinion after all. I rarely make differences in writing even if the situation is different, only the words and tone used.
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:05   Link #31667
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Anyway, here's the next part.

Spoiler:
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:14   Link #31668
ZeroXSEED
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And thus the adventure continues

Consistent draft, nothing else I could tell.
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:18   Link #31669
Eratas123
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Wel at this point he's probably going to die. I see no way you can escape a psycopath who has you cornered weaponless when you're injured.

Side note - How do relationships iusually work in the IS verse? Is it radically different from the normal one?
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:32   Link #31670
ZeroXSEED
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Unless the girl is really modest and traditional, the guy usually 'whipped' dom type. Not like they're having any chance anyway.

When I post this, I still slapping myself and ask "Dude! What the hell?" I post it anyway

Spoiler for Hand-Eye Coordination Part 1:
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:35   Link #31671
Eratas123
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Ah, the tales of budding romance Most of the first meetings I write tend to either have ho yay or bad first impressions
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:42   Link #31672
ZeroXSEED
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You haven't seen the bad part yet, in Tatenashi's words: "When exactly my dear sister became so bold?". This sentence came from the most fanservicey canon female, mind you. You seriously do not want Kanzashi to emulate certain shoujo mangas.
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:44   Link #31673
Eratas123
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Bold in Kanzashi's words might not mean the same to everybody else. I mean, what's she gonna do? Hold the hell out of his hand?
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:50   Link #31674
ZeroXSEED
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In her words "I need another set of hands and eyes, preferably the one with the best coordination and knew what to do, can you provide it?"

Rito was confident, and being him, always try to help anyone whenever he can (provided the person in question not angered him).

And then

She sat on his lap and having him helped her with the adjustment, all the while dressed in I.S. outfit.

Rito's mixed reaction and sloppy job is reasonable, cue heated argument with a decent sexual subtext mixed in
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:55   Link #31675
Eratas123
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Is sitting on someone's lap really that drastic?
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:58   Link #31676
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Normally, it's just plain intimate (romantic or platonic), but being shounen at all, lust is always involved in some ways or other, thanks to exaggerated puberty issues.
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Old 2012-05-31, 10:59   Link #31677
Eratas123
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Ah that must be it. I just see it as platonic on my end since I'm used to it.

Anyway, if both Sarashiki's win, it'll be a problem on which kid takes over.
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Old 2012-05-31, 11:03   Link #31678
ZeroXSEED
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Mostly cultural thing, really. There's offhand comment form Len about a character (in a porn) avoid kissing while she's, well, a college bicycle. Dan nicely explained it as exaggerated sex myth and the hypocritical, stark contrast between two and two is THE punchline.

I can see the flames of rivalry from miles away

....provided that both parties is really interested
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Old 2012-05-31, 11:11   Link #31679
Eratas123
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Wait. Since Tatenashi's is Ichika's main does that mean he'll have to forgo his surname if they marry?
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Old 2012-05-31, 11:14   Link #31680
ZeroXSEED
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Yes or no

Tatenashi probably have to compete with Lala. Like Tate, she is a member of very important family. (OT3 is inevitable in this one )
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