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Old 2012-05-22, 00:11   Link #201
night_sentinel
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Sigh... Wow I missed a lot huh... This is what I get for getting addicted to mahjong of all things... I'll probably downloading the VN version of this or read it backwards until I catch up. I'll have lots of fun guessing how the hell everything happened lol...

Spoiler for Mami lives chapter 12:
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Old 2012-05-22, 01:53   Link #202
Kogetsu Shirogane
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All good things must come to an end... or so the saying goes. In truth, the only thing that has come to an end is our window into this particular timeline. But I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?

Spoiler for "Skittles" Finale:
In short: Great job! I'm thoroughly satisfied and truly impressed with how this turned out. I really do mean that.
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Old 2012-05-22, 06:17   Link #203
Triple_R
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Great to have you back reviewing this fanfic, night_sentinel! ^_^

I really enjoyed reading both your review of this Sayaka route finale, as well as Kogetsu's review of it. Now, time to reply to those reviews...


Quote:
Originally Posted by night_sentinel View Post
Sigh... Wow I missed a lot huh... This is what I get for getting addicted to mahjong of all things... I'll probably downloading the VN version of this or read it backwards until I catch up. I'll have lots of fun guessing how the hell everything happened lol...
lol, you probably will. And given who's in your Anime Suki avatar, I'm not surprised that you're addicted to mahjong. I myself might need to get more into mahjong just to follow most of the discussion on the Saki Achiga-hen series thread, lol.


Quote:
Congratulations on finishing a major route Triple_R and its a Sayaka Romance. Btw, random trivia there is a Madoka light novel being published and according to my friend who can read japanese she called Sayaka "her knight" there.
Nice! That is cute.


Quote:

Sayaka is very romantic and all but perhaps I am simply lacking context because I'm laughing at the number of reference that you managed to pack into it.
This is one of the major route ends where I intended for much of the fun to be loads and loads of anime references. I'm glad you enjoyed them!

As for the romance side of things, this finale admittedly only put the finishing touches on Madoka/Sayaka since I felt I'd already done almost enough with their development in the previous chapters of this route. So yeah, the romance bit would probably be pretty weak out of context.


Quote:
You managed to blend Guilty Crown and Tiger & Bunny at the same time which is quite a feat.
Thanks! I'm glad that at least couple of my readers have actually seen Tiger and Bunny, lol.

Speaking of which, what do you think of the idea of T and B's Kotetsu as Sayaka's father? Did that fit well for you?


Quote:
Plus you added Nanoha as Sayaka and Madoka's child which kinda make sense if you think about Nanoha's idealism and her befriend everything approach to life.
That's exactly my thinking too.


Quote:

The only thing that saddens me with the update is Homura. After playing the psp game I can't help but ship MadokaxHomura. But, a silver lining to this is Homura I think will be content as long as Madoka as happy even if it is not her, Oh well...
That is one of the sadder elements of this route end. But it's not something that I think I could ignore, given the strength of Homura's feelings.

I can't stress enough that this fanfic really is intended to be like a romance route VN. I would say that the Sayaka route is roughly equivalent to the Kotomi route in Clannad or the Mai route in Kanon. In other words, an important route, but a pretty different one, and not the "True Route".



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post

Well now, starting off with a proposal, eh? Honestly, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to that as a possible part of the ending, and you certainly didn't disappoint.
I figured this would be a good way to kick off the finale, and I'm glad it worked for you.


Quote:
The entire restaurant cheering for the two of them after Madoka's acceptance makes it even better. Which reminds me... Your username means "Rushing Ramen Rainbow?"
Get it while it's hot!


Quote:

Meanwhile, in the past(which is still the future from our vantage point)... that had to be an awkward phone conversation. "Hi, Mama. No, I'm fine. I'm at Sayaka's... yes, her mother knows... well, a kidnapper held some friends of mine for ransom and Sayaka's dad showed up and saved the day... oh... and... the school kinda blew up in the process."
You pretty much summed up why I didn't actually write the dialogue for the phone conversation.


Quote:

Spoiler for Tiger's Turbulent Tale:
I'm glad you liked Tiger's backstory. It was something I slowly pieced together after I decided to make Kotetsu Miki an actual superhero. Since I had already used Guilty Crown elements elsewhere, I felt they'd fit in pretty well here as well.


Quote:
Anyway, back to the present, which is still technically the past, even though it's still the future. The tearful reconciliation of the Miki trio was truly a touching scene. After which, we join the PM three in watching a news report with some rather familiar names popping up. I wonder if "veteran news reporter" Ritsu Hirasawa is related to "ClariS manager" Haruka Hirasawa...
My idea is that they're both daughters of a certain Gitah-lover.

Quote:
er, anyway, I gotta hand it to Barnaby "Bunny" Brooks, he certainly knows how to spin the truth a bit. And unlike what Kyouko was suggesting, it wasn't a total lie. After all, there were two suits in use that night, and at least one of them caused the explosion.
True. I'm glad Barnaby's explanation worked for you.


Quote:

Anyway, Kyouko, being the daughter of a preacher man, was able to perform the ceremony for the two girls she most likely became good friends with over the years. And quite a ceremony indeed: a blissfully lighted hall, Kyousuke performing the music (which I'm sure made Sayaka incredibly happy), Hitomi and Mami playing dual bridesmaids, and of course the radiant brides themselves... why, even Nanami applauded. The only drawback was the unfortunate, yet understandable, absense of Homura. I can't imagine she'd be all that thrilled with seeing Madoka get married to someone else, after all.
I'm glad that the marriage scene itself, though short, managed to be appealing to you.


Quote:

Before I continue... I love the choice of music for the ending, and I think it fits the scene nicely.
Thanks! The very last scene of this chapter made me think a bit of Clannad, so I thought it might be nice to go with a softer Clannad song.


Quote:

Madoka's dreams of having a family with Sayaka... turns out they aren't just a dream after all. Not only is Sayaka definitely on-board with raising a child with Madoka, it's their child in every sense of the word, thanks to the genius of the brilliant Jail Scaglietti.
I could think of no anime character better for this role than Dr. Jail Scaglietti, lol.


Quote:
Robotics and reproductive technologies... that's certainly an interesting way of putting what he does.
lol!


Quote:
At any rate, Madoka opened a cafe, which I'm going to think of as being called... um... the Midori-ya, after her close friend Hitomi's hair color(yeah, that's it), and nine months later gave birth to an adorable little girl by the oddly familiar name of Nanoha... judging from the picture, it looks like she may have inherited Madoka's hair ribbons.
Good eye!


Quote:

Speaking of pictures, the one that closes out this particular story is a very nice way to truly end this route. Here's to this particular pair of Madoka and Sayaka finding happiness, both with each other as well as with their daughter Nanoha, who I'm sure has a great life ahead of her. Who knows? Maybe she'll even find someone who Fate says she should be with.

In short: Great job! I'm thoroughly satisfied and truly impressed with how this turned out. I really do mean that.

Thanks a lot! Who knows? Maybe one of these days I'll write a fanfic spinoff for just this route called "Puella Magi Lyrical Nanoha".

The only question is... will she meet a nice ferret... or a white rat?
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Old 2012-05-23, 09:51   Link #204
night_sentinel
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Quote:
Speaking of which, what do you think of the idea of T and B's Kotetsu as Sayaka's father? Did that fit well for you?
I think it was the perfect fit actually. In some ways, Sayaka is a little girl clone of Kotetsu. From what I can remember Kotetsu is Idealistic...Impulsive... Overshadowed by his partner Barnaby.... and seemed to be the author's favorite chew toy.

Hmm... wait the above adjectives seems to apply to Sayaka . The apple doesnt seem to have fallen far from the tree in this case.
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Old 2012-05-24, 11:25   Link #205
Coldlight
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Mami Lives Chapter 12, Sayaka Route: Good End.

Spoiler for Sayaka Romance Good End::
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Old 2012-05-24, 15:06   Link #206
Triple_R
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Before I reply to Coldlight's nice, comprehensive review, there's a couple questions I'd like to ask all of my readers.


1) I almost wrote a brief epilogue for the finale of Mami Lives, Sayaka Romance that would involve Nanoha Kaname-Miki talking with her mothers a bit, but I opted not to go with it since I thought it might make the finale a bit too long. But it seems like Coldlight would have liked what I had planned for it. Well, would anybody else like to read a short epilogue for Mami Lives, Sayaka Romance? Yes or no?


2)) What would you like to see next (after that epilogue, if I write it)?

A) Mami Lives, Mami Romance, or...

B) Mami Lives, Madoka Stands Alone


To refresh people's memories, when we were last in "Mami Romance", Madoka had just made a couple big decisions surrounding Homura, and if you made any decision that kept Madoka in a romance with Mami, you get to read further on into this route. There's two or three chapters left of this route. The main star of what's left is definitely Mami (though Madoka, Sayaka, and/or Homura (depending on your choices) also have key roles left to play in it).

As for "Madoka Stands Alone", that left off on a cliffhanger of Puella Magi Sayaka about to fight Puella Magi Hitomi, with the implication that Kyousuke Kamijo's love is on the line. In MSA, Madoka has either passed the point of no return (i.e. having failed to gain, or turned down, opportunities with Mami, Sayaka, and Homura) or Madoka has a Homura option left. In fact, the main reason I ask this is that MSA will soon split into "Madoka *is* alone" and "Madoka/Homura: The Abridged Mami Lives Version". And I get the sense that Madoka/Homura fans are eager to see Madoka/Homura.

So, folks, please choose what you're most like to read next, and that's what I'll go with.


Now then, unto my reply to Coldlight...

Spoiler for Triple_R's long response to Coldlight:
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Old 2012-05-24, 17:27   Link #207
Seitsuki
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Homura.

(10 char limit)
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Old 2012-05-25, 00:43   Link #208
Coldlight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple_R View Post
1)Well, would anybody else like to read a short epilogue for Mami Lives, Sayaka Romance? Yes or no?
If you're still up for it, I'd say yes. (Should I even be answering this one? ) It might look like I'm urging you to write further than you have to, though.

Quote:
2) What would you like to see next (after that epilogue, if I write it)?

A) Mami Lives, Mami Romance, or...

B) Mami Lives, Madoka Stands Alone
I cast my vote for B, Madoka Stands Alone. Cliffhangers are evil after all, and the reader might have fallen off the cliff already if it's left hanging for too long.
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Old 2012-05-25, 02:20   Link #209
Kogetsu Shirogane
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Ignore this first part, it's just me randomly complaining about my own review...
Spoiler for Kogetsu randomly complaining about own review:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple_R View Post
1)Well, would anybody else like to read a short epilogue for Mami Lives, Sayaka Romance? Yes or no?
It's a yes from me on the first question, though I'd be fine with waiting for it if you'd rather work on the other portions... which brings me to the next question.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple_R View Post
2)) What would you like to see next (after that epilogue, if I write it)?

A) Mami Lives, Mami Romance, or...

B) Mami Lives, Madoka Stands Alone
While I won't deny I'd like to see what's coming up with Mami Romance... it's easily the most complicated part of this side, if not the entire project. Plus there's the fact you did kinda leave Madoka Stands Alone on a cliffhanger about four or five chapters ago, and I'm also interested in how that one's gonna turn out...

Anyway, it's a vote of B: Empty Candy Dish for me.
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... that's... not a doughnut...
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Old 2012-05-25, 22:17   Link #210
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Mami Lives, Sayaka Romance
Epilogue


It’s a beautiful Thursday afternoon. Sayaka finished off work early today so she decided to spend some extra time with me. Thankfully I’m available for that, since my papa runs our store in the afternoons while I handle it in the mornings and early evenings. I like that arrangement, as it means I’m always home for when Nanoha gets home from school. I like being able to spend some time talking to my daughter after each school-day to make sure everything is going well for her.

Sayaka’s hours of work are very variable, depending on a mixture of when crimes happen and when “Hero TV!” promotional work comes calling. “Blue Rose” has already appeared in a lot of advertisements, especially for soft drinks, ice cream, and certain musical artists. So there are many evenings when Nanoha is on her own, but she’s pretty good at keeping out of trouble when home alone in the evening, by watching TV or playing some children’s video games.

But what was a pleasant surprise to me is how Nanoha already wants to help me out at the store some evenings, as she really likes the nice blend of scents that’s provided by the various beverages and flowers at the store. So she’s a huge help some evenings, and acts so mature for her age! I guess she takes after her grandparents on both sides moreso than Sayaka or I in that respect.

Sayaka is currently wearing an open blue blazer over a white shirt. She also has on white khaki pants. I’m wearing an apron over a light pink one-piece dress that stretches down to my ankles.


Aaahhh…” Sayaka said with such supreme satisfaction, “Where did you learn to make such great hot cocoa, Madoka?”

“I learned it from my papa.” I replied with a smile, and a slight blush, “Though I added in a little bit of extra sugar since I know you really like sweet tastes, Sayaka.”

“That added sweetness really does make all the difference in the world.” Sayaka replied with a smile of complete contentment while she breathed in the aroma coming out of her half-drank cup of hot cocoa.


Sayaka then leaned back against her chair, relaxing in it, as she sat at the dining table. That dining table was situated just in front of where I was in the kitchen. I really liked my home when I was growing up, and apparently, so did Sayaka. So the home we live in now was originally an empty one on a large plot of land in the suburbs of Tokyo, but we had it renovated to be as similar as the home I grew up in as possible. It does give me a wonderful sense of continuation, and of some things having permanence in life. I truly am now in a situation very similar to my papa's when I was a little girl around Nanoha’s age.

“I just prepared a cup of hot cocoa for myself.” I said to Sayaka, “So I’ll come join you at the table now.”

But before I could, I saw Nanoha race in through the front door! Nanoha was a few minutes earlier than we had expected.

“Madoka-Mama! Sayaka-Mama!” I heared Nanoha excitedly shout out to us as she raced over to the dining table where Sayaka was sitting.

“What is it?” Sayaka asked, a bit startled by Nanoha’s slight tone of desperation.

“Is something wrong, Nanoha?” I asked, betraying a deep concern for my daughter.

“One of my friends at school is getting bullied!” Nanoha shouted, as I saw a look of sadness splashed across her face.

Sayaka and I looked at each other wearily over this. Both of us knew something like this might happen one day, but we were hoping it would at least happen later than Kindergarten!

“Did you tell your teachers about it?” I asked Nanoha.

“The teachers don’t seem to want to do much about it because the bully is the child of a rich foreigner…” Nanoha answered, “You know, kind of like Granpa-Kotetsu’s friend Barnaby!”

Sayaka and I quickly looked back and forth to each other over it, searching each other for a solution to this problem, but neither of us could think of one right off the bat.

“That is a tough situation to solve…” Sayaka admitted under her breath.

“Sayaka-Mama… you don’t know what to do?” Nanoha asked in a tone of deep concern, unaccustomed to Sayaka or I not knowing how to address a problem that Nanoha runs into.

“Sayaka, we have to be strong for Nanoha.” I whispered to my wife, “Parents are the main foundation that a child’s life is built upon. So we can’t have Nanoha feeling that this foundation isn’t firm.”

“… You’re right.” Sayaka answered my plea, albeit out-loud so that Nanoha could hear it as well, “So I’m going to have to give the only advice that I can think of!”

I blinked uneasily over this, as I wondered what Sayaka’s advice could be.

Nanoha.” Sayaka said firmly to her, as she took hold of Nanoha’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes, “Sometimes in life you can’t count on other people to help you. It’s sad, but true. Sometimes in life you have to take control of things yourself! So you should stand up to the bully yourself! That’s the way to be a true friend.”

Heh?!” I uttered, as my eyes went wide in slight horror over Sayaka’s dangerous advice!

But Nanoha was now so fixated on her “Sayaka-Mama” that she barely noticed my own surprise at Sayaka’s advice. Nanoha’s eyes went wide as she looked up into Sayaka’s eyes.

“So…” Nanoha began in reply, trying to determine the practical application of what Sayaka was suggesting, “You’re saying that I should tell the person that’s bullying my friend Suzuka to quit it… or I’ll make her quit it?”

I have to admit it was cute how Nanoha voiced the classic “I’ll make you quit it!” threat with such adorable and breathless innocence.

“Right. Exactly!” Sayaka replied to Nanoha, while Sayaka smiled proudly at how quickly Nanoha had determined her meaning.

“B-but Sayaka…!” I began stating in distress, while holding one enclosed hand defensively over my heart, “That’s dangerous. Nanoha could get badly hurt!”

“I think we have to put faith in Nanoha here, Madoka.” Sayaka said to me, while Sayaka rubbed Nanoha’s head in a show of approval and confidence.

Sayaka then stood up to address me directly, while Nanoha looked way up at her tallest mother’s face.

“Nanoha is very physical active. And she’s strong for her age!” Sayaka continued, “I believe she can handle herself. Besides, wouldn’t you say that standing up to bullies on behalf of friends runs in the family?”

Sayaka blushingly smiled and winked at me while she said that, no doubt alluding to how the very first time we met it was due to Sayaka standing up to bullies that were hurting me.

I blushed a bit at the now very fond memory of my first meeting with Sayaka, of the time when she seemed like a Prince in Shining Armour in every way to me!

“…But what if Nanoha gets in trouble with the teachers for standing up to the bully, and possibly starting a fight?” I asked Sayaka, as I searched desperately for an alternate solution that would be less dangerous for Nanoha.

“If that happens, then I’ll directly intervene myself, and talk to the teachers.” Sayaka said sternly, “Whether the bully is a rich kid or not, you don’t punish the kids trying to stop the bully!”

“Thanks, Sayaka-Mama!” Nanoha shouted up at Sayaka, as Nanoha beamed in pride, “But I’ll make sure you don’t have to do that! I’ll stop those bullies myself!”

“…Nanoha, are you sure about this?” I asked, as I knelt down in front of my daughter to look her close in the face.

“Don’t worry, Madoka-Mama.” Nanoha said to me, “I’ll be careful. I’ll make sure that it doesn’t go too far. …I don’t like fights, but sometimes you can’t avoid them. But even if a fight happens, I’ll try to make it a safe fight!”

Sayaka chortled over the phrase “safe fight”, and I admit it made me giggle a bit as well.

Nanoha embarrassingly protested the resulting laughter of her two mamas, but Sayaka and I couldn’t help it. I could see some of Sayaka, and some of myself, in Nanoha, but it was sometimes funny how the two sides combined together.

Anyway, Sayaka and I would hear back from Nanoha the following afternoon. Sayaka made a special point to be home early that day as she wanted to know right away how Nanoha’s confrontation with the bully went!

I was wearing a light red one-piece dress on this Friday, while Sayaka was wearing the same blue blazer/white shirt combo, but this time with a blue skirt instead of white khaki pants.


“Sayaka-Mama! Madoka-Mama!” Nanoha shouted with a big smile on her face, as she raced towards where Sayaka and I were now sitting down at the dining table, enjoying hot cocoa together while we waited in anticipation for Nanoha’s return from school.

“Hey Nanoha!” Sayaka shouted back enthusiastically at Nanoha, while Nanoha gave her a big hug.

“Did you have a good day at school?” I asked Nanoha, with her then going to give me a big hug too.

“Yes, I did!” Nanoha exclaimed excitedly, “I stood up to the bully just like you said I should, Sayaka-Mama, and I made the bully stop.”

“Good for you!” Sayaka said, as a proud grin took form on her face, “I’m really glad to hear it.”

“Not only that, but the bully even apologized to Suzuka and me.” Nanoha said with a look of surprise on her face, “In fact, the bully, who’s named Arisa, even said she’d like to be friends with Suzuka and me!”

“Wow, that is a great surprise, Nanoha!” I said with while flashing a big smile at her.

“Wait a minute…” Sayaka said, appearing a bit shocked, “You said the bully’s name is Arisa? So… the bully is a girl?!”

“Yes, that’s right!” Nanoha replied.

“Wow, I’m kinda disappointed about that.” Sayaka said with a sheepish smile, and while rubbing the back of her head, “I didn’t know many female bullies when I was growing up. I hope girls today don’t take after the worst habits of boys!”

Sayaka then laughed nervously a bit.

“But the main thing is that your advice worked out in the end, Sayaka.” I said to her with a soft smile, “You really came through for Nanoha and me.”

“Don’t thank me.” Sayaka said, before patting Nanoha on the head, “Nanoha’s the one who did all the hard work.”

Sayaka, Nanoha, and I then laughed together a bit, and talked about hopefully meeting both Suzuka and Arisa one day. It was great that Nanoha had already made two new good friends!

Things were going well for my family, and hopefully that will continue to be the case.


------------------------------------------------------------



And that's an epilogue that hopefully Coldlight, Kogetsu, and other readers will enjoy.


But now, let me address the recent reader feedback in general.

Based on what I read there, "Madoka Stands Alone" will be coming next, and that will mean much more Homura, and within a couple chapters, Madoka/Homura as a pairing.

I hope to have the next chapter of MSA up sometime over the weekend. In the interim, I hope this Epilogue is a nice little treat that can hold people over.

It's short, as Epilogues often are, but I'd still love to know what people think of it.

That's it for now!
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Old 2012-05-26, 03:32   Link #211
Coldlight
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Keeping it short this time. I used up some of my powers on that other post.

Mami Lives, Sayaka Route: Epilogue

Spoiler for Sayaka mini-After Story:

That's all for now. Until the next update.
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Old 2012-05-27, 23:07   Link #212
Triple_R
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Triple_R McMahon here folks, and do we have a grrreeatt match for you tonight for this pro wrestling/magical girl extravaganza called The Great Japanese Bash!


In the blue corner, we have Sayaka "Symphony in Motion" Miki!

Spoiler for Sayaka Image:



In the green corner, we have Hitomi "The Heartbreaker" Shizuki!

Spoiler for Hitomi Image:



Anything can happen in the World Puella Magi Federation, and that's tremendously true tonight, as a friendship violently explodes! Will Madoka manage to patch that friendship up, or will...


Mami Lives Chapter 9
Madoka Stands Alone



“How fitting that this is where we will fight, Sayaka.”


We’re on the roof of the old abandoned warehouse where Madoka, Sayaka, and I had rescued Hitomi before. Hitomi finds it ‘fitting’ that this is the place where her and Sayaka now prepare to battle one another, but I can only perceive it as sick and twisted irony.

I stand far off from where Hitomi and Sayaka now gaze intensely at one another, Hitomi with a malicious smirk on her face and Sayaka with clenched teeth. The seething resentment the two now seem to feel for one another is truly palpable, and also truly tragic to me.

Standing next to me is Kyouko Sakura, and standing next to her is Akemi Homura. We’ve been relegated to mere spectators and “guardians” for this “event”, as that is what Akemi-san felt would be best.

I’m in shock and horror over how it’s come to this. In how we’ve allowed it to come to this.


“Are we actually going to let them fight each other like this?” I ask both Kyouko and Akemi as I turn my head towards them.

“We tried to talk them down, but they weren’t interested in what we had to say.” Akemi-san replied in a slightly sombre tone, “All they see is mutual betrayal, and the boy that they both desire. It’s hardly surprising that bitter conflict would arise from such perceptions.”

“… Even if you don’t particularly care about them, Akemi-san…” I began in a slightly cross tone to her, “Don’t you think that this is a waste of their magical energies? Our magical energies are not infinite, as we’re all well aware. That’s why it’s best to save them for dealing with witches and familiars!”

“I don’t disagree with you, but it doesn’t matter given the circumstances.” Akemi replied, “If either of the three of us could have talked them down it would have been you, as both of them seem to be fond of you. But they weren’t willing to listen to you, so there’s no way they’d listen to Sakura-san or I.”

“Besides…” said Kyouko, while scratching her head and chewing a piece of pocky, before turning her head towards me with a stern and knowing look, “You and I both know from personal experience how some disagreements between Puella Magi just can’t be solved by words alone.”

Kyouko is right, sadly. I know well of the specific instance she’s referring to…


“So we’re agreed then, Sayaka?” Hitomi asked Sayaka, while Hitomi held her halberd in one hand, and her other hand at her hip, “Whichever one of us loses this fight has to give up on Kyousuke Kamijou forever?”

“Right!” Sayaka firmly confirmed, while holding one sword with the tight grip of both hands, already taking a position indicating an eagerness to fight.

“Getting you to give up on Kyousuke forever is the only way that he might be free from your mind-altering wish, Hitomi!” Sayaka shouted at Hitomi, “So that’s exactly what I’m going to make you do!”

My, aren’t we confident…” Hitomi said in a saucy tone of voice, “You don’t have much more experience at this than I do, Sayaka. Don’t be surprised when I force you to submit at the end of my halberd !”

And with that, battle was met! Hitomi and Sayaka launched themselves at each other with impressive zeal!


Hitomi and Sayaka were both very good at the thrust and parry inherent in conflicts involving lengthy bladed weapons. This resulted in scintillating sparks screeching off of Sayaka’s sword slicing swiftly against Hitomi’s halberd.

Then came a moment when the point of Hitomi’s halberd struck against the point of Sayaka’s sword, causing a bright bluish ball of crackling energy to form between the two weapons. That ball exploded violently, forcing both Hitomi and Sayaka to leap backwards to avoid getting hurt by the explosion.

But that did not dissuade either of them for long, as Hitomi and Sayaka charged once more at each other, each making battle cries! Such passionate fires flickered from the eyes of both combatants as their Puella Magi joust continued.


The two girls then pressed their weapons and torsos hard against each other, both clenching their teeth in anger. But Hitomi then quickly backed off with a stealthy backwards skip, causing Sayaka to tumble forwards a bit from remaining forward momentum.

Hitomi then took aim at Sayaka’s lower legs with a descending wide-arc slash of her Halberd! Sayaka was just fast enough to jump over the blade, but the jump was clumsy enough that it caused Sayaka to get tangled up within her own cape and fall onto the rooftop!

Now I have you!” Hitomi exclaimed with a gleeful grin, as she brought her halberd crashing downwards directly at Sayaka’s midsection, clearly hoping to inflict a serious wound on Sayaka.

Sayaka thankfully managed to roll out of the way of the attack just before such an injurious blow could be done to her. Sayaka then rapidly rose to her feet, and swung her sword at Hitomi. Hitomi was still trying to get back into a proper defensive position after throwing all she had into the previous missed attack, and so this created an opening for Sayaka to take advantage of.

Sayaka’s sword struck hard against Hitomi’s late and somewhat sloppy defence. Dauntless determination was all about Sayaka’s face, while Hitomi’s face winced in pain from trying to hold back Sayaka’s attack.

“You’re not bad, Hitomi.” Sayaka said to her, while the two struggled against each other with their weapons smashed against each other, “But I have a key advantage over you! It’s an advantage I have over you when we are both just normal girls, so that advantage continues on even now that we’re both Puella Magi!”

“What advantage are you talking about?” Hitomi asked with a tone of irritation, as beads of sweat began to form on her brow due to the pressure that Sayaka was now mounting against her.

“I’m stronger than you are!” Sayaka exclaimed, as she finally exerted enough pressure with her sword to cause Hitomi’s halberd to go flying out of her hands.


“Aaaagggghhh!!” Hitomi cried, as Sayaka followed that up by slicing Hitomi across her left arm, cutting through white frilly fabric.

Hitomi had been startled by Sayaka’s show of strength, and hence was caught off-guard by this follow-up slash. Hitomi instinctively grabbed the wound left on her arm by Sayaka’s slash, and fell to her knees in pain while she tightly closed her eyes to hold back tears. Hitomi was trembling a bit.

Sayaka decided to show mercy here, by letting Hitomi nurse her wound without keeping up the attack.

“…Why are you just standing there?!” Hitomi snarled angrily in question to Sayaka, betraying Hitomi’s wounded pride.

“Because I take no pleasure in hurting you like this.” Sayaka replied softly, “So I‘m giving you an opportunity to quit now before I end up having to hurt you more than what I already have. There will be no shame in you choosing to quit now. Mami, Madoka, and I will all be friends to you once more if you choose to stop now, and make amends for the harmful wish you‘ve made by not acting further on it.”

“You would just love that, wouldn’t you, Sayaka?!” Hitomi loudly sneered in rhetorical question, while slowly rising back to her feet, “Then you’d get everything you want, including Kyousuke! Well, my love for him means more to me than that!”

With renewed purpose and vigour, Hitomi then sprinted over to where her halberd had landed. I sighed as I had hoped that Hitomi would concede to Sayaka’s request, ending this brutal fight. But that was not to be.


Mere seconds later, halberd would once more crash chillingly against sword, as Hitomi and Sayaka continued their figurative “dance”. But Hitomi’s movements now seemed quicker and more agile than before. I also suspect that Sayaka’s words had only served to anger Hitomi even more, and Hitomi was now channelling that anger through breathtakingly fearless attacks and thrusts against Sayaka.

Sayaka’s eyes went wide in shock at how fearsome Hitomi’s fighting had become!

Finally, Hitomi successfully managed to cut the side of Sayaka’s right arm with her halberd, causing Sayaka to drop her sword. Hitomi followed that up by strenuously slugging Sayaka straight across the face, causing Sayaka to collapse to her knees, dazed from the blows inflicted on her!

However, bluish musical notes appeared over the cut on Sayaka’s right arm, healing it. This didn’t seem to matter much to Hitomi, though, as a proud smile washed across her face.

“It may be true that you’re physically stronger than I am, Sayaka.” Hitomi stated towards Sayaka, “But I’ve always been the faster of the two of us!”

Hitomi then leaped on top of Sayaka, raining tight fists and kicks on her! The two started to twist and twirl along the top of the rooftop, as though they were pro wrestlers.


“This is starting to get pretty ugly.” Kyouko said, “Why are they playing it so safe? Why the hell aren’t they trying any magic?!”

“Kyouko is right…” Sayaka said to herself, low enough that I myself just barely heard her, “It’s time I took this to the next level!”

Sayaka’s cape then suddenly detached from around her neck, magically stretching out like a spider’s web! That golden-white spider’s web then caught on to Hitomi, and wrapped itself around her! Hitomi was now caught and subdued, held a couple feet off the ground by Sayaka’s vastly enlarged cape.

What Sayaka had just done with her cape reminded me of how I myself would sometimes use yellowish strands to capture or ensnare enemy familiars, witches, and Puella Magi. I wonder if that was intentional on Sayaka’s part…

A satisfied smirk spread across Sayaka’s face, as she rose to her feet, staring at Hitomi struggling in vain against the cape that now had her completely ensnared from neck to toe.

“It looks like my attempt to replicate Mami’s ensnaring strands technique worked just as planned!” Sayaka shouted, confirming my suspicions, “So you might as well give up now, Hitomi.”

Never!” growled Hitomi with relentless resolve.

Then I saw small greenish magical energy axes form seemingly out of nowhere just behind Hitomi. Those energy axes carefully sliced through Sayaka’s cape, freeing Hitomi of it!

Hitomi then slowly lowered herself to her feet, as though she was a descending helicopter. It was now Hitomi that had a satisfied smirk spread across her face, as she seemed to taunt Sayaka with her facial expressions.


“Now that’s more like it!” Kyouko exclaimed with a smile, “This fight is finally starting to get interesting and entertaining!”

Sayaka was now sweating nervously due to Hitomi surprisingly freeing herself like this. So I think that Sayaka had now taken a defensive stance in order to prepare for what Hitomi might do next.

“The redhead wants an entertaining fight, Sayaka.” Hitomi said, “It would be impolite of us to let her down, wouldn’t it? So let’s cut to the chase, shall we? Let me show you one of my two most marvellous magical maneuvers!”

“What are you talking about?” Sayaka asked, her voice tinged with trepidation.

“I’m talking about…” Hitomi began in a soft tone of voice, before gesturing one arm dramatically upwards and finishing in a shout, “Gates of Brandenburg!!!

A wide rectangle of loudly crackling greenish energy suddenly formed directly above Hitomi’s head. It seemed to suck air into it as though it was a black hole! This resulted in forceful gusts of wind sweeping across the face, clothes, and hair of Akemi, Kyouko, Sayaka, and myself. I could feel my hair flapping in the wind!

Loud laughter leapt forth from Hitomi’s mouth as she jumped high in the sky, directly in front of the magical rectangle she had created. Then, flying out of that rectangle was four dark black horses, carrying a largely greenish and ornate shimmering chariot behind them!

Hitomi landed into that chariot, while the horses stampeded directly at Sayaka!

Sayaka screamed in pain as the hoofs of the horses struck against her head, sending Sayaka careening wildly towards the edge of the roof.


“…This is getting too flashy.” Akemi-san said, “This area is currently designated off-limits to the general public due to an ongoing police investigation, but an attack like that one might be viewable even from far away!”

“Don’t worry.” Kyouko said, “I have a feeling that this fight isn’t going to last much longer!”


Hitomi did indeed seem to have Sayaka on the ropes, as thunderous chariot charge after thunderous chariot charge kept inflicting damage on Sayaka, leaving her off-balance and now on the defensive.

Hitomi stretched out her arms in gleeful gesture, laughing as she sensed her victory was nigh.

“Soon you will be mine, Kyousuke!” she cried, “Soon I will deliver vengeance upon Sayaka for how she betrayed our friendship, and then, my dearest Kyousuke, nobody will stand between us any more!”

No!” exclaimed Sayaka, now being the one to display relentless resolve, “I won’t let you turn Kyousuke into your mindless play-thing, Hitomi!”

Sayaka then managed to completely evade the latest chariot charge by leaping high into the air, her new cape reflecting the glow of the moonlight!

Sayaka then summoned forth several swords, hurling them all at the horses of Hitomi’s chariot! Almost each and every sword struck against one of the horses leading Hitomi’s chariot charge, causing the horses to release neighs of pain. Hitomi’s chariot then went out of control, eventually crashing head-on into a smokestack on the roof of this old abandoned warehouse!

Hitomi shrieked in horror as the crash had caused her to fly backwards out of her chariot. Sayaka then twirled about, causing her one remaining sword to stretch out like a whip, with its various parts kept together with chains.

“Nice!” Kyouko excitedly shouted out, “Sayaka’s learned well from both of us, Mami!”

Sayaka then wrapped her chain-linked sword around Hitomi’s torso, and used it to send Hitomi crashing violently through the rooftop below! I actually winced at the sight of it, thinking of how painful that attack must have felt to Hitomi.

Sayaka then landed skilfully on her toes, like a cat, next to the gash in the roof left in the wake of her attack. Also nearby was the crumbled debris and disappearing horses of Hitomi’s defeated chariot.

“I hope that ends it…” Akemi-san said under her breath, “If this fight continues much longer, then…”

“It’s finished.” Sayaka said sternly, while causing a new cape to appear around her neck and back, “Hitomi won’t be bouncing back so easily from that attack!”

“Hitomi might be unconscious, Sayaka.” I said to Sayaka

“You’re right.” Sayaka stated, turning her head at a sharp angle in order to look me in the eyes while replying to me, “And if she is unconscious, then that means the victory is mine!”

I didn’t like the idea of Hitomi being concussed into defeat, but that was certainly preferable to loss of life or limb for either her or Sayaka! So I hoped that Sayaka was right.

Sadly, she wasn’t…

“I’m not finished yet, Sayaka!” I heard Hitomi shout, as she came rocketing up through the opening left on top of the rooftop.

Sayaka breathed a sigh of irritation at seeing that Hitomi still had some fight left in her. But Sayaka didn’t flinch for long, and in only a few short moments, fierce battle broke out once more between Sayaka and Hitomi.

But the battle between them now appeared as it was when they first started fighting. Flashier magical moves gave way to the thrust and parry of conventional sword-fighting. Sayaka and Hitomi were now like two boxers in the final round of a boxing match. Their breathing had become heavier, reflecting how their stamina was finally starting to run low. It was anybody’s guess who would emerge victorious between them!

Then, for whatever reason, my mind drifted to Madoka, and how she’ll likely react to the news of her two closest friends battling it out like this…


I’ve been following close behind Kyubey for the pass several minutes, as he sprints towards where Sayaka and Hitomi are.

During my desperate rush to help my two best friends, Kyubey has spoken telepathically to me about how they’re fighting one another! Physically, and for real! He also told me that Hitomi contracted with him to become a Puella Magi, but that decision seems to have been motivated primarily by a desire to win Kamijo from Sayaka.

I find all of this hard to believe, but as with so many bizarre events that have occurred in my life over the past two weeks, ‘seeing is believing’ for me.


Eventually, I arrived near the same old abandoned warehouse where Mami, Sayaka, and I once rescued Hitomi. At an angle, I could kind of make out a bluish blur battling against a greenish opponent on top of the rooftop of that old warehouse.

As I walked closer to that old warehouse, and squinted my eyes to try to see clearer, I could tell that Sayaka and Hitomi were both in flashy Puella Magi outfits, and that they were indeed fighting one another!

‘Kyubey… we have to stop them!’ I cried out telepathically to him, as I was very afraid of how badly Sayaka and Hitomi might hurt one another given the Puella Magi abilities and powers that they now wielded.

‘I doubt they will listen to reason, Madoka.’ Kyubey stated to me telepathically, ‘If you want to stop your two friends from fighting each other, you will need to have the power necessary to forcefully separate them. Such power can only be gained through you becoming a magical girl!’

Was Kyubey right? Should I become a Puella Magi in order to have the power to make Sayaka and Hitomi stop fighting each another?


I had decided against becoming a Puella Magi as I could think of no wish that was worth risking my life over, and that remained true.

But now I saw two large benefits to being a Puella Magi that were separate from the wish itself. One was the immediate concern of how it should enable me to stop Sayaka and Hitomi from fighting each other, and lead them into a more peaceful resolution! But the other benefit was related to a brief thought that crossed my mind… with Hitomi now being a Puella Magi, all of my closest friends are Puella Magi. If I remain a normal human girl, wouldn’t I be isolating myself from all of my friends?

Still, I could try to make Sayaka and Hitomi stop fighting each other even if I remain a normal human. I doubt that either would want to hurt me, so if I rushed between them, that should halt their attacks! There was also the option of me simply shouting out to them to try to talk them out of their fight.

These were the only three possible solutions that I could think of in the heat of the moment. Which one should I choose? I needed to make the choice now, before Sayaka and Hitomi seriously hurt one another!


MSA Choice 1:

A) Become a Puella Magi! “I Wish for my Mama to Become Head of Her Company!”

B) Rush between Sayaka and Hitomi, hoping that this will halt their fighting.

C) Shout out to Sayaka and Hitomi to try to talk them out of their fighting.



After quick intense thinking, I have now made my choice! I dearly hope that it proves to be the right one!


To Be Continued…


--------------------


Just a couple short notes:

1) As usual, clickable bits above links to songs that I think goes well with the paragraphs to come. There's three such clickable links/songs for this update. I hope people think they go well with the Sayaka/Hitomi fight of this fanfic!

2) This might be pretty obvious, but it's very important to keep track of which choice you made for MSA Choice 1. You'll need to remember it for the next update.


Anyway, I thought I'd try a few things a little bit differently here. If you need to be refreshed on what Puella Magi Hitomi looks like, just check out her promo image above during Mr. McMahon's grand introduction.

That's all for now! I look forward to hearing back from my readers.
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Old 2012-05-28, 10:12   Link #213
night_sentinel
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Well, the fighting of Sayaka and Hitomi is intense. But, you know I'm more with Sayaka in this one. Reading the previous section, Hitomi kinda is a jerk forcing Kyousuke to love her using her wish. Though, I don't know if its the "right" choice considering the anime castigated Sayaka for not being more honest with her feelings where her true desire is more along that she want Kyousuke to love her. So in the spirit of the show, Hitomi's wish seems to be the one Sayaka should have wished for. Though, honestly I'm glad Sayaka never made that wish.

Still, in the same vein if there is any fairness in this world, Sayaka is more deserving of Kyousuke than Hitomi. The anime ending showed that Sayaka could let go of Kyousuke and gave her blessing to Hitomi even if Sayaka seemed to have lost her will to live in the process.

And so the choice here for me ... MSA choice will be B.

Choice A sounds like a stupid wish. Choice C which is shouting seems to be not enough to stop the fight happening. So that's left Choice B which is the only way to stop the fight. The only disadvantage is there is a chance that Madoka will be horribly killed... Oh...
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Old 2012-05-30, 14:27   Link #214
Kogetsu Shirogane
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Well now I feel a little embarrassed... I was one of the ones who specifically asked for the Sayaka Romance epilogue and I went and missed the opportunity to respond in a timely manner due to being occupied with an idea from back in November. Ah well, better late than never, I guess, right?

Spoiler for "Skittles" Epilogue:
In short, that was a really cute epilogue, and kinda makes me want to watch a series featuring a (slightly) different Nanoha again...

Anyway... Arigatou, Triple_R! *turns and starts to leave*

...

Wait, there's still something else I have to respond to, isn't there?

Spoiler for Empty Candy Dish:


A very nice pair of updates, though one was obviously a little "nicer" than the other.

I suppose I should probably point out that, much like another recent update, the excellent choices in music for the second update resulted in me being tempted on giving the second portion of this post some background music, though given the Edges used in the chapter, it would have been a far more Teary song...

Anyway, I believe I can now appropriately say...

Arigatou, Triple_R!
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... that's... not a doughnut...
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Old 2012-06-01, 21:28   Link #215
Kirito
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Hey Triple_R, I'm back. Sorry for the late reply, I know we talked about this and I said I'll get to my review, but yesterday was really chaotic for me. I was on the forums, but I had to move things, clean the house, and had to do several favors for people. I was so tired to the point where I couldn't write a single word. Now with troublesome stuff out of the way, I got some Persona 4 and ClariS in my RoP tracklisting, and I'm ready to roll!

Before I give you my final grade on your performance, you know I tend to go deep into what you've done. Let's get started!

Madoka x Sayaka Finale Scenario

So many cute, wonderful, and awesome things happened in this scenario. I spend an half an hour going through the scenario, interactions, and the twist and turns that came with it. I'm truly impressed as always Triple R, nice work!

Spoiler for The Prince and her Princess:


Spoiler for Puella Magi's and the T&B:


Grading Time:

Spoiler for Pros:


Spoiler for Cons:


Excellent work as always, I'm going to write my review on the other two scenarios shortly, but my hands need to rest. I really enjoyed what you've done with this one. Until then, take it easy, and I'll see you in the other update!
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Old 2012-06-02, 04:42   Link #216
Kirito
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Okay, after giving my hands a rest and finishing Resistance 2...finally! I'm ready to rock and roll and get the rest of my reviews finished. Well, as always I got ClariS playing so let's get this started!

Ahem:

Madoka x Sayaka Epilouge

Spoiler for Happy Puella Magica Family:


Current Mami Lives, Madoka Stands Alone Chain

Spoiler for Magica Cat Fight:


As prophecy fulfilled Madoka is once again forced into a situation where she's pressured to make a contract. Looks like she a tough decision on her shoulders, can't wait to see how this turns out, considering that rat is partially responsible for this mess anyway...bastard! Great job on the action between Sayaka and Hitomi "cough cough backstabber". Anyway, the twist and turns are really making the scenario more interesting and I can't wait to see how this will play out.

Grading Time:

Spoiler for Pros:


Spoiler for Cons:


Phew, I'm finally caught up! stayed up for all night planning and writing this, but the result was well worth it. Well Triple R, whether you get back to me or not on this or past updates, we'll see, but for now until the next scenario, my fingers need to take a long earned rest, and I'm sure you're sick of me droning on and on on this thread to no end.

I can't wait to see what kind of winner you'll put out of a hat next, but until then keep up the phenomenal work, take your time, I'll be right here waiting!! I'm off to bed now, take care!!
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Old 2012-06-03, 13:38   Link #217
Coldlight
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Mami Lives Chapter 9, Madoka Stands Alone Route:
Spoiler for Madoka Stands Alone Route, Chapter 9:
Excellent, intense chapter. I enjoyed it. Now 2 AM in the morning, time to get some sleep.
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Old 2012-06-03, 18:03   Link #218
Triple_R
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Mami Lives Chapter 10
Madoka Stands Alone

“I will not lose. I can‘t lose! This is it, Hitomi!”


As I make my way up the side of this old abandoned warehouse, in order to try to put a stop to the rooftop fighting, I overhear Sayaka and Hitomi shouting at each other. It saddens me, but maybe this means that both of them are tiring from their fight. I certainly hope that’s what it means.

After reaching the rooftop, I see Sayaka and Hitomi about to race at each other from opposite sides of the rooftop. Now it’s time for me to act on the decision that I made before!


If you chose A for MSA Choice 1, read Section Arrow of Peace.
If you chose B for MSA Choice 1, read Section Weapons of Tragedy.
If you chose C for MSA Choice 1, skip over both sections and read on.


Spoiler for Arrow of Peace:



Spoiler for Weapons of Tragedy:



Sayaka is holding her sword tight to her side, and is about to thrust it diagonally upwards, I think with the intention of slicing Hitomi across her stomach.

Hitomi is holding her halberd slightly above her head, and is about to thrust it in a circular downwards motion, I think with the intention of impaling into Sayaka’s left shoulder.

I can’t let them injure each other this way.

Hence, I will shout out to them to stop!

“Sayaka! Hitomi!” I shout out at them, almost as loud as I can manage, “Please stop fighting each other!”

“Ma-Madoka?!” Sayaka shouted, in question, “What are you doing here?”

“Like you don’t know, Sayaka!” Hitomi sneered at her, “You probably called her out in the hopes that she could distract me, leading you to victory. Well, I’m not going to fall for it!”

“That’s not true, Hitomi!” I protested as strongly as I could, “I just don’t want you two to fight! Kyubey told me that you were fighting each other, so I came here to try to stop you from fighting each other!”

“You just heard how delusional Hitomi has become, Madoka.” Sayaka said to me, “Sadly, there’s no reasoning with her. I have been left with no choice but to force her to do what’s right!”

“Bravo, bravo, what a fine acting performance!” Hitomi mockingly cheered Sayaka, “Really, Sayaka, you should cast in your lot with thespians, and leave the fine violinist Kyousuke to me. But no matter how much you try to pretend to be in the right here, you‘re in the wrong for betraying our friendship!”

“I did not betray you!” Sayaka screamed at Hitomi, “If only you would start thinking straight again, Madoka’s way could… No, it’s too late. I can’t back down now.”

“It’s not too late, Sayaka, please!” I pleaded with Sayaka, “You and I can still get through to Hitomi!”

“No, enough time has been wasted on words.” Sayaka stated, “Only cold steel can settle things now!”

Sayaka and Hitomi then launched themselves at each other once more, as their battle continued unabated. The sound of sword clashing against halberd clanged nastily in my mind, causing me to tremble in fear. Sayaka and Hitomi also grunted a bit, as their stamina ran low, and their struggle grew increasingly grisly.

But then I noticed Mami, Homura, and an oddly familiar looking redheaded girl standing on the other side of the roof from where I was. Why were they just standing there, watching on?!

“Mami, Homura, Please!” I exclaimed, trying to have my voice carry above the sounds of battle to reach through to them, “Please stop this fight!”


If you chose B for MH Opportunity Choice 1, read Section Hot Heroic Homura! Otherwise, read Section The Kiss of Victory!


Spoiler for Hot Heroic Homura!:



Spoiler for The Kiss of Victory!:



The hostilities between Sayaka and Hitomi had thankfully been resolved without lost of life or limb this Wednesday night. But unfortunately, the core problem caused by their competing love for Kyousuke Kamijo still remained. It would be a problem that I hoped I would be able to help resolve in the coming days…

To Be Continued…


---------------------------------------

Ok, a few key things:

1. Thanks a lot to Deikan, Coldlight, Kogetsu, and night_sentinel to all the great recent replies. I'll try to get back to each of you privately on them.

2. Sorry, night_sentinel, but it looks like your worst fears over Choice B for MSA Choice 1 were realized. For what it's worth, I had that outcome planned from the very beginning, so it's not like I was trying to pick on you.

3. The next update will focus on the Special End extension of Choice A for MSA Choice 1. I hope that Madoka/Homura fans will enjoy it! Let's just say some Stockholm Syndrome might be involved.

4. The next update after that will feature Madoka Stands Alone break into the final two subchains/routes of Mami Lives! Those are "Mami Lives, Madoka is Alone" and "Mami Lives, Homura Romance". I will update these subchains side-by-side until they're both finished


That's all for now! I really look forward to everybody's take on this chapter! ^_^
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Old 2012-06-03, 22:15   Link #219
Kirito
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Great new update Triple R. I spent the past half hour reading, analyzing, going through the options given thoroughly to the best of my ability, and all I can say is...pleasantly pleased with what you've done here!. But at the same time disappointed You'll see as you read this.

I'm a little upset at certain outcomes in this scenario, but you'll understand that once you read my feedback given. Well, as always I got ClariS playing and I'm ready to go.

Before I give you my final grade on your performance, you know I tend to go deep into what you've done. Let's get this started!

Ahem:

Current Mami Lives, Madoka Stands Alone Chain Scenario.

Spoiler for Goddess in Training:


Spoiler for Bloody Magica:


Spoiler for The Forceful Mediator:


Spoiler for Kiss Covered With Thorns:


Grading Time:

Spoiler for Pros:


Spoiler for Cons:


Well a great scenario Triple R, I really enjoyed it to no end. As always sorry for annoying you to no end, I'll be right here waiting for you to pull another winner out of your hat. So until then, take it easy, and I'll be right here waiting!
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Old 2012-06-04, 19:17   Link #220
Triple_R
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Kirito - Thanks for the detailed reply. I was prepared for some readers to not like certain elements of this update. But just to be clear, it's not that I'm trolling my audience. Let me try to explain why I took the plot the way I did in this latest update.

1) I'm sure that everybody here knows that I'm a big Sayaka fan. So it almost seemed too predictable for me to have Sayaka win her fight. I thought it might be pretty surprising if Hitomi "won" (in one route, the other ones all essentially ending in draws). Plus, Hitomi winning allowed me to showcase a wish side-effect power of her's that I had planned out from the start - I couldn't really think of another good way to showcase that (no reason for Hitomi to kiss familiars or witches, after all ). I also thought that Hitomi kissing Sayaka might be a nice, unexpected visual for yuri fans.

2) One thing I always try to keep in mind is the VN side of this. This fanfic is intended to eventually become a full-fledged VN, thanks to our good friend Kimidori. So my thinking is this: If you end up in the "Kiss of Victory!" section, it means that you passed on Mami, you passed on (or failed to get an opportunity with) Sayaka, and you passed on (or failed to get an opportunity with) Homura. So basically I see the "Kiss of Victory!" section (and the "Madoka Is Alone" sub-chain) as a bit of a punishment for readers/players doing poorly at the "romance game" side of things. Now most of the people reading this fanfic are reading everything, so naturally we all just want to keep seeing our favorite characters do well, but as the writer of VN routes, I can't forget the VN side of things.

3) I'll admit that I had a hard time deciding what to do with Mami in this latest update. I myself wasn't sure if it was more in-character to have her stay on the sidelines as an observer and just hope for the best, or for her to get more involved. The problem with her getting more involved is that it would prevent the Homura Romance branching - I'd have to push that back even farther, and I thought now would be a good time to get that branching started.

I also want to write here that Mami and Hitomi really are on good terms with each other. That isn't all an act on Hitomi's part, and/or Mami just being polite. My conception of Puella Magi Hitomi is basically "a dark Mami", personality-wise and style-wise, as I think the two have a lot of personality similarities. So I think they'd naturally get along well (or at least as well as circumstances would allow).

I've admittedly been writing Hitomi as a bit more of a ham than her anime self, and I'm basically using "intoxicated with Puella Magi power" as the excuse for Hitomi being like this. But even though I'm writing Hitomi as a bit of a "theatrical villain", in large part because I love theatrical villains, I don't think Hitomi is entirely unsympathetic. I'm mostly with Sayaka myself, of course, but I really do think that Hitomi has a right to be a bit pissed in how Madoka and Sayaka kept her in the dark about everything. Hitomi is badly overreacting to that, but I don't think she's just a coldhearted villain either. Perhaps I've gone too far in making Hitomi theatrical, and hence her more sympathetic elements aren't coming through as well as I had hoped.


Anyway, I hope that answers your criticisms of course. Not saying it'll make this update any easier to swallow for you, but I thought you should know where I, as the writer of this, is coming from at least.
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