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Old 2012-08-04, 23:51   Link #61
MeisterBabylon
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I smell SAO... XD
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Old 2012-08-05, 01:35   Link #62
Saint X
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
Amu? Rainbow Guardian? OPEN MY HEARTO!

*shot*
*reloads 170mm gun*

Well it is for a planned/vaporware/thought fic of Modifying Shugo Chara into AW-spec- with crack of course.

If it's not that Overpowered, I might integrate it into a [Alternate Story].

The epic question surrounding this Avatar is "What happened to this person IRL?!!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
Now, how do I throw a nod to SAO in here--

*shotshotshot*
I have already planned something similar with 2 of the 3 Rabbits.

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Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
Whoa. How far into the future must this have been for it to reach the 3rd generation Black King when the 1st hasn't even fallen?
Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
it's distant in the future. Like 10 years afterwards. Black Lotus and Haruyuki already reached lvl 10 and "graduated" from the system.
We don't know what L10 actually means, it may mean that Brain Burst may deactivate and uninstall from the masses- but leaving them with memories of it and the ability to use acceleration (Physical Full Burst) and Incarnation in reality.
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Old 2012-08-05, 05:27   Link #63
KeithKurogane
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I have a bit of idea... but I think I need to polish this a bit...
Note: This is just a part of the Prologue I'm writing right now...
Spoiler for Accelerated Zombie (Accel World x Kore wa Zombie desu ka?):


What can you say guys?
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Old 2012-08-05, 08:09   Link #64
churchblue
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Carbon Arrow's user's flaw is he lacks faith in others. In his childhood, Taiyou had no friends because doesn't know how others will treat him. He disliked being used, hence why he isolates himself most of the time. Even he has maids and butlers to talk too, he feels that they just paid to interact with him. His parents hardly have time to deal with him and try to find time to for him. He's a douche not because he is an jerk, but because he lacks trust in others. The island changed him and his family's understandings. His father uses the time on the island to get to know his son, while Taiyou tries to open up a bit. His mother used a lot of her money for charities and let go all of the maids and bulters (one wanted to stay with her for her own reasons) which to her selling the estate, her resignation and her husband's company being bought by the Committee. She still needed to find another job to support her daughter who was one-yr old at the time (she enough money, but always thought about further on in life). She manage to get a stable manager's position. She didn't search for them because she had faith that they would come back no matter what the cost (what faithful woman). When her son suddenly appear in front of her doorstep 5 years later, she broke into tears. They made up with each other's feeling and understand their situation. Taiyou before and after the island are pretty different. He uses to be isolated and by himself, now he tries opening up a bit (he has a hard time opening up to burst linkers because of his past experience). He played the AW a lot in the past (got to Level 7), but now doesn't play much unless someone duels him or he's just bored (by this time he got to Level 8). His personality changed as well from an self-centered, isolated jerk to someone more mature (still somewhat less of a jerk) and is little more polite and is responsible. Speaking of responsible, his mother allow him to live on his own as long he contact her time to time. Thanks for the 3 years, living by himself wasn't a big deal to him. Even though he gets good grades, very athletically and own a company, he wants to be a doctor; want to give life instead of taking it. He's good in other fields, but chooses this because it's his choice. Taiyou like Fuuko and is the only burst linker he open more than other burst linkers. However he feeling embarrass telling her that, so hides it from her (even though she knows he likes her). He spends a lot of his free time with her and enjoys talking to her. Kuroyukihime always tease him about his fling with Fuuko. Another thing is he is very protective of both Fuuko and her DA, Sky Raker. Let just say you rather get beat up by Carbon Arrow than Taiyou himself. His "scar" isn't comparable to his physical scars during 5 years. 50% of his body is cover in scar tissue and has fracture or broken nearly everything bone in body except for his spiral cord. He doesn't like to show scars and is always covering it with more less exposed clothes. unless it's medical emergency. Only NN (including Fuuko) know about this, however rather not have known it at all. Taiyou has habit of doing thing himself despite the drawback. He really hates bullying to the point of putting the bully into the hospital.

This is all that I can come up with right now and the info I'm okay with. Carbon Arrow could fight a King, but too lazy to do it.
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Old 2012-08-05, 08:18   Link #65
Orange Duke
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/facepalm

All you've done is repeat what you said in your last post. Not only that, but you've completely ignored our advice for you a few posts back and on top of that, made him even more OP by saying he is able to fight a king.

If you really want to learn how to write better characters, you need to start to listen to our advice properly and really deconstruct your characters and see what is wrong with them.
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Old 2012-08-05, 08:50   Link #66
ronelm2000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
I smell SAO... XD
You've probably smelled this one then:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8388864/...ordsman_Side_A

Spoiler for Cut my rant:
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Old 2012-08-05, 10:14   Link #67
FlameSparkZ
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Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
It was never mentioned specifically who did it, though there is reason to believe it was done by the people running BB. After all, Haru didn't know about Judgement Blow until the Chrome Disaster arc, so it's unlikely that it was done by the Blue King.
Just because he didn't know, doesn't mean that it wasn't used.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
Mine is:

Spoiler for OC:
So...his DA is a flying lobster?
And beam cannon on the right arm? What about the bigger claw that is also on the right arm?

Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
it's distant in the future. Like 10 years afterwards. Black Lotus and Haruyuki already reached lvl 10 and "graduated" from the system.
Well, seeing that that fic is further into future, it's okay...but we still don't know what happens when a DA reaches Lv10
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Old 2012-08-05, 10:14   Link #68
novalysis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeithKurogane View Post
I have a bit of idea... but I think I need to polish this a bit...
Note: This is just a part of the Prologue I'm writing right now...
Spoiler for Accelerated Zombie (Accel World x Kore wa Zombie desu ka?):


What can you say guys?
If this is what I think it is, then those bullies are on very thin ice.

Assuming that Haru is Eu's current Zombie, and that a certain series of events means that he is on friendly terms with the cast of Kore Wa Zombie (including Nene and Chris)....

Furthermore, there's NOTHING the bullies can do to him physically.

So, I'm very interested to see what direction you plan on taking this with, since we are getting a more self-assured Haru here, it seems.

Is his physique also different? I'd assume that he's no longer the pudgy short midget we know. Short, yes, but not pudgy.

Also, his Avatar... well there are places you can go with this. I'm imagining Silver Crow with 500% Headbutt, 1000% Mystelitian Kick Variant, and a Chainsaw arm. And wearing a Kilt.
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Old 2012-08-05, 10:24   Link #69
Orange Duke
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Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ View Post
Just because he didn't know, doesn't mean that it wasn't used.
Yes, but imagine how the conversation might have went. Haru would've asked whoever he heard it from how the guardian got permabanned, and since Judgement Blow isn't exactly a big secret, whoever it was would've told him.
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Old 2012-08-05, 11:28   Link #70
FlameSparkZ
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Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
Yes, but imagine how the conversation might have went. Haru would've asked whoever he heard it from how the guardian got permabanned, and since Judgement Blow isn't exactly a big secret, whoever it was would've told him.
Well, the anime puts it in vague terms, and since the last chapters of the Novel's Vol 1 haven't been translated, I can't confirm it...but in Ch 8 of the manga, Haru reports to Kuroyukihime that Cyan Pile's Parent was executed by the Blue Legion.
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Old 2012-08-05, 18:09   Link #71
MeisterBabylon
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Originally Posted by novalysis View Post
Also, his Avatar... well there are places you can go with this. I'm imagining Silver Crow with 500% Headbutt, 1000% Mystelitian Kick Variant, and a Chainsaw arm. And wearing a Kilt.
"FLYING MYSTELTEIN KIIIIICK!!"

"THAT'S NOT A KICK!!"

"NAMES DON'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE!"

"SOU DAYO NEEEEEE." *smashes into building*






~~~~~~

Here it is! [ACCEL WORLD SS: GOLD CUB]

Spoiler for Prologue 01:


Pardon my terrible English. I didn't want to reveal much of Gold Cub's real world identity, but I needed to show his origins. So I got the balance here... I think.
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Last edited by MeisterBabylon; 2012-08-05 at 19:58.
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Old 2012-08-05, 21:28   Link #72
MeisterBabylon
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ACCEL WORLD SS: GOLD CUB gets another update? Nuts!

Spoiler for Prologue 02:
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Old 2012-08-05, 21:31   Link #73
blitz1/2
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Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ View Post
Just because he didn't know, doesn't mean that it wasn't used.


So...his DA is a flying lobster?
And beam cannon on the right arm? What about the bigger claw that is also on the right arm?


Well, seeing that that fic is further into future, it's okay...but we still don't know what happens when a DA reaches Lv10
Of course I don;t know what level 10 truly encompasses, hence why they "graduate", disappearing from the traditional brain bursts. Although, most of my plot lines draw most with the Matrix and that I might have "graduated" people become "moderators" of the system while in real life, have access to nearly unlimited Burst points as a reward.

@Flamespark: xD. Not really a flying lobster, but having the claw anatomy of a lobster.
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Old 2012-08-05, 22:28   Link #74
KeithKurogane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by novalysis View Post
If this is what I think it is, then those bullies are on very thin ice.

Assuming that Haru is Eu's current Zombie, and that a certain series of events means that he is on friendly terms with the cast of Kore Wa Zombie (including Nene and Chris)....

Furthermore, there's NOTHING the bullies can do to him physically.

So, I'm very interested to see what direction you plan on taking this with, since we are getting a more self-assured Haru here, it seems.

Is his physique also different? I'd assume that he's no longer the pudgy short midget we know. Short, yes, but not pudgy.

Also, his Avatar... well there are places you can go with this. I'm imagining Silver Crow with 500% Headbutt, 1000% Mystelitian Kick Variant, and a Chainsaw arm. And wearing a Kilt.
Yeah... though I'm thinking that Haru is Eu's second Zombie since I plan to add Ayumu as his senior (in terms of being a zombie).

And think of this... Silver Crow on a Masou Shoujo transformation...
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Old 2012-08-05, 23:08   Link #75
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ronelm2000 View Post
You've probably smelled this one then:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8388864/...ordsman_Side_A

Spoiler for Cut my rant:
After reading this, I think I should go back and add <<>> to my fic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KeithKurogane View Post
Yeah... though I'm thinking that Haru is Eu's second Zombie since I plan to add Ayumu as his senior (in terms of being a zombie).

And think of this... Silver Crow on a Masou Shoujo transformation...
Or even Unlimited Physical Full Burst because his body just won't burn out...

..
...
....


...no comments on my fic?

*runs*
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Old 2012-08-05, 23:17   Link #76
blitz1/2
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Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
ACCEL WORLD SS: GOLD CUB gets another update? Nuts!

Spoiler for Prologue 02:
Starts off simple, but for some reason, the second part had a little too much dialogue that it was hard to grasp the actions, maybe a bit more description surrounding the dialogue would help.
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Old 2012-08-06, 00:17   Link #77
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
Starts off simple, but for some reason, the second part had a little too much dialogue that it was hard to grasp the actions, maybe a bit more description surrounding the dialogue would help.
Maybe like this?

Spoiler for Prologue 02:
Made some corrections, and added more text. As well as tried to fix the pacing, then give the sense of confusion that Gold was experiencing towards the end. Is this better? What else can I do?
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Last edited by MeisterBabylon; 2012-08-06 at 05:01.
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Old 2012-08-06, 05:48   Link #78
ronelm2000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
After reading this, I think I should go back and add <<>> to my fic.
It makes things better, actually.


aaaaah no comment on my fic huh... I guess I could wait until I get the whole thing working by Oct. 10 TT.TT
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Old 2012-08-06, 06:12   Link #79
MeisterBabylon
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aaaaah no comment on my fic huh... I guess I could wait until I get the whole thing working by Oct. 10 TT.TT
*patpat*

You'd probably need to bump it once or twice before someone notices

I didn't really haven't got much comments beyond that I enjoyed it and would look forward to what you've got.



Just for info, the time I'm setting my fic in is waaay at the beginning of Accel World, when there were many many legions, even more Burst Linkers being born and recruited by mysterious packages every day, open PVP and PVE everywhere, and Level 8 was the old Level 9. The Great Golden Brigade (Dai Kinpaku Dan) with 2 Cubs is the primordial form of the current Yellow Legion. What happened between then and now is the main theme to be explored. Hopefully I stop making canon mistakes and I'll finish this story in time.
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Old 2012-08-06, 07:58   Link #80
blitz1/2
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Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
Maybe like this?

Spoiler for Prologue 02:
Made some corrections, and added more text. As well as tried to fix the pacing, then give the sense of confusion that Gold was experiencing towards the end. Is this better? What else can I do?
Much better. It's easier to understand.
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