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Old 2012-08-17, 06:22   Link #35641
ZeroXSEED
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Yeah, but now there's a slight problem with proportion, I suggest you reduce the torso length and give smaller head to make the design even better.
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Old 2012-08-17, 06:36   Link #35642
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@ Senpai - Another draft idea. Cqn you read again?
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Old 2012-08-17, 06:48   Link #35643
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Yes, I can.
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Old 2012-08-17, 06:59   Link #35644
StratoSpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Yeah, but now there's a slight problem with proportion, I suggest you reduce the torso length and give smaller head to make the design even better.
Noted

It's pretty challenging to describe the unit's apperance without a sketch.
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Old 2012-08-17, 07:35   Link #35645
demino_hellsin
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AE(revision) lineage:

unit-01 R:Genesis
Completed IS derived technology: power source
Pilot: Algaris Milhoff
Notables: Due to incomplete safety features which include PIC and the like that render piloting such a high performance unit harmless, the designated pilot almost died and was required to be grafted into the unit turning him into a cyborg in order to survive as well as continue its use. Possesses high powered beam weaponry more advanced than even the british research.

unit-02 R:Evolution
Completed IS derived technology: power source, environmental stasis energy shielding, bit control system.
Pilot: Rong
Notables: First AE that comprises entirely of bit units. Possesses adaptible weapon systems that allow for changing equipment to suit operating requirements in mid-combat. Also sports a pilot reinforcement system that boosts a pilot's physical capabilities way beyond normal. Consists of 2x leg bits; 2x arm bits; 1x chest bit; 1x pack bit. The pilot reinforcement causes cellular decay/distabilization within the pilot causing death at varying durations.

Unit-03 R:Sister
Completed IS derived technologies: power source, environmental stasis energy shielding, bit control system, PIC, nerve trace system.
Pilot: Alicia Wortwood
Notables: Does not have the pilot reinforcement system of the R:Evolution. Model closest to the IS thus far. Only the backpack unit which dictates operational equipment and the main body are bit controlled unlike the many parts of R:Evolution. Safest to pilot with no drawbacks.
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Old 2012-08-17, 07:38   Link #35646
Eratas123
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Spoiler:
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:16   Link #35647
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@ Eras
Honestly, the darker it is the better the flow are. I'm seriously not a fan of horror thriller but kept getting sucked, if it was Blitz who's reading, he would get a joygasm already.

@ Demi
Wut now the machine is also godlike?

@ Stratos



The ideal Drone design as I describe (just upscale the head a little)
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:22   Link #35648
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So.....this is somehow more horrifying than the previous draft where he mangles Justine and gives vivid descriptions of the corpses?
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:26   Link #35649
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I actually missed that part on purpose, but the general description still apply. The gunshot in the end especially fit.
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:29   Link #35650
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It actually is already more lighthearted, especially by the fact that happy endings for most parties tend to happen To compensate, Saito whines and wangsts a lot more over family problems.

Side note - So I guess I shouldn't ask you to read Kazuma's flashback draft where he's being......."tested" by Autumn?
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:30   Link #35651
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For this one I hereby refuse the deal
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:38   Link #35652
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Come on, it's just some cutting up and wounding:/ He has some regeneration on his skin, so they test how fast his regeneration is. Well, that and place him in an ISO room with no sound or sight to test his mental capacity.

Explains how he turns into a villain protagonist in the later arc.
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:41   Link #35653
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No means no, I'm a man of balance and believer of happy ending.

(considering I DID the cutting up most of the time, that would be ironic but whatever)
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:47   Link #35654
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So do I Why do you think most of my story's are humor/romance? When I asked you to read drafts of those, you said it wasn't your thing, so I stopped posting them. That's why I only show dark fics, but apparently that's not you thing either
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:49   Link #35655
demino_hellsin
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I guess they do sound godlike.

Genesis was basically slapped together without a real study of what would an IS be like. So they maxed out all the stats except the ones that mattered :/

Evolution tries to become something closer to the personals but there are too many unknowns about the core. Conventional technology could only do so much. The physical reinforcement is also imbalanced, more potent than the one in an IS, but also causes physical breakdown.

Sister is the most advanced AE and closest to IS, but that's only in terms of non-personal units. Because it lacks the "shift" system of personals, it also has no absolute defense(which isn't really that big of a loss when you stop caring whether the pilot dies.). For pretty much everything else it's kind of bog standard Raphael xover with the Impulse series from GSD in terms of capability.
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:52   Link #35656
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@ Eras
I did say balance didn't I?

Too sweet is not good, too salty is nto good, to spicy is not good, too bitter is not good either. My bitterness meter already hit the fan.

Besides, my definition of grimdark is explosion and casualties and suffering and teen angst and more explosion, not crazy villain laughing madly as he rape an innocent girl and mutilate her boyfriend. (okay maybe that's hyperbolic but...)
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Old 2012-08-17, 09:56   Link #35657
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Oh come on, the crazy rapist doesn't come until the later arc How did you know that was gonna pop up?

Side note - I make grim dark as unrealistic and unlikely as possible. Don't want it hitting too close to home, as they say.
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Old 2012-08-17, 10:01   Link #35658
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@ Eras
I rebuild TvTropes back in 2010 (when it's down and no database left...except in personal cache), a slightest bit the flow and I'll just know where it goes.

At which point it might turn into self-parody, as in Warhammer 40K.

I also made my stuff as clean as possible, for example, there's no mention of war rape whatsoever, devoid of gorn unless Ms. Drama Queen asking for it, and largely focus on the 'cool' fight scene than anything else. What's buried int eh dark let buried in the dark. Personal rape NEVER depicted graphically, sometimes only implied (refer to one fic), teen violence is fair game.

@ Demi
Hmm, mass produced and it'll cause aneurism for every feminist.
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Old 2012-08-17, 10:06   Link #35659
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sad thing is that these are the only 3 units in existence thus far

All of them are prototypes. I haven't gone beyond conceptualizing Sister. And Sister is only under construction when Rong is chucked into ISA since the PIC still wasn't complete then, so the only usable AE won't come around for awhile in the timeline.
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Old 2012-08-17, 10:08   Link #35660
Eratas123
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That's kinda like Grimdark lite then :3 Most of Aria's POV chapters are like that (What with being nearly Tatenashi's level and having an IS to boot). Saito's POV chapters show more moral grayness and human depravity compared to Aria, which plays more shonen like themes. Hence why most of the drafts start with Saito bitching about injuries, to show degradation of his psyche the more things he does.

It's meant to deconstruct how being a "Knight in Shining Armor" when you're not ready causes a lot of problems and degradation both inside and out.

Despite this, I can''t help but put a happy ending:/
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