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Old 2012-09-06, 05:24   Link #36441
ZeroXSEED
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Talk about overkill, you're pulling a Guren Lagann?

Spoiler for Chapter 4 Part 4:

And my writing styles keep degenerating,, Yay?
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Old 2012-09-06, 05:28   Link #36442
Eratas123
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Try adding more actions and describe the feeling of the environment. Dunno if it's good advice, but I tend to add what the character is doing as a sort of break away for sentences.
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Old 2012-09-06, 05:28   Link #36443
demino_hellsin
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Haven't really seen gurren lagann.

I'll have to keep the explosions relatively small... maybe the explosive power of a thermonuclear bomb? None thus far have become full stars anyway.
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:05   Link #36444
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Can you read something for me later? I promise it'll be the last today.
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:12   Link #36445
ZeroXSEED
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As much as you want really.
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:15   Link #36446
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7-year-old Inami and Tsurugi:

Spoiler for Ten years ago:
'

Basically Tsurugi's trying to nail the "Want to be more than friends" kind of thing into Inami, who doesn't quite get it.
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:20   Link #36447
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[Yawns] Fanfics updated...

Ichikas Trust Ch. 10
Infinite-Stratos Angelic Descent Ch. 8
Blind Fate Ch. 4
Project Silverback Ch. 7 (Revised Ver.)

Long overdue update...

Good night...
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:20   Link #36448
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She's pretty mature for a seven year old.
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:22   Link #36449
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That came out wrong indeed.

I can see Inami being misunderstood, this is one of the most realistic love/friendship (comrades/best freind/soulmate etc) tropes that still have a lot of drama potential, which is why it's commonly used without being too cliche
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:48   Link #36450
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
She's pretty mature for a seven year old.
How so?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
That came out wrong indeed.

I can see Inami being misunderstood, this is one of the most realistic love/friendship (comrades/best freind/soulmate etc) tropes that still have a lot of drama potential, which is why it's commonly used without being too cliche
Thing is, while Inami misunderstood, Tsurugi didn't quite deliver her point properly.
There's that difference between "I want to be more than just a friend" and a blunt "We're not friends!".

I made some little changes to her past while keeping Inami's the same. (Scene above takes place on the same year his parents died, though it's already months after)
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:52   Link #36451
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Most 7 year olds don't think of being BF and GF at such a young age.
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Old 2012-09-06, 06:59   Link #36452
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Point taken.

Though I should probably point out that those two were living under the same roof at that point of time. The Katami family took Inami under their wing after he lost his parents.
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:01   Link #36453
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...Then she'd think even less. Westermarck effect shows kids living under the same roof tend to end up thinking like brother and sister.
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:05   Link #36454
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And the above scene doesn't quite explicitly mentioned that she wanted him to be her boyfriend, did she?

All she mentioned is that "they're not friends". Being like brother and sister is also a step above friend-level.
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:08   Link #36455
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Westermarck effect is the cause of "Unlucky Childhood Friend" everywhere.

Hence I said I understand, I have quite similar scenario myself, except it took opposite approach where the comment is too fabulous for context
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:10   Link #36456
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@ Stratos - Well, I hope that they have a very good sibling relationship/platonic symbiosis then

@ Senpai - Ichika's type of girl is Chifuyu, right?
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:15   Link #36457
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Precisely a cool, mature nadeshiko kind with a great body. Hence he's tempted when Houki don't talk too much, and don't enchanted with Tate's beauty
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:17   Link #36458
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Stratos - Well, I hope that they have a very good sibling relationship/platonic symbiosis then
There will be more flashback scenes of them as children, each showing them having a sibling-type relationship... up till their five-year separation.

There's a saying which goes along the line of "being separated makes them miss each other more". And for their case, they missed each other to the extent that their yearning went beyond that of siblings'.

Now to think of a significant event that occurs prior to the separation which would spark that... intimate desire in them.
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:17   Link #36459
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Isn't Laura everything but Mature body?

Side note - Draft almost done

@ Stratos - Absence makes the heart go yonder Also, how about a rescue event? Falling into a river tends to be common.
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Old 2012-09-06, 07:25   Link #36460
ZeroXSEED
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@ Eras
Nope, Ichika remarked that her personality is cute, but too strange (post meltdown, that is)

@ Stratos
Since they're both 12, even the smallest stuff that could entice their still-developing sexuality could leave a big impact.

For example, suddenly feel a strange feeling when holding hand, or worse, full body contact. And as Eras said, full body contact during extreme but realistic situation, such as falling into a river or tripped on a stairs.
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