AnimeSuki Forums

Who · 2012-10-07, 22:45

There's a girl I knew for three years. I always thought she was attractive and such and someone fun to hang out with, but I never really thought of her in a girlfriend type of way until recently, after hanging out with her several times for lunch.

Trouble is, she was set up with another guy by a mutual friend of ours (who doesn't know of my attraction to her). They've been meeting each other for 3 weeks now (they met 3 weeks ago as well), grabbing lunch here and there, but it's not really official, as he hasn't asked her out, and she's not sure where they stand. She sorta likes him, but again, isn't sure.

I only know all this because I asked her directly, before directly confessing to her, because I said 'screw this, because even if it makes things awkward between us, I want her to know how I feel, and I don't want to regret not saying anything.'

She was very flattered and honored (her exact words) and told me that I should have told her before. She was also very shy and embarassed and surprised, if that counts for anything, hiding behind a bookstore when she tripped over her words trying to find the correct answer. However, she still wasn't sure where she stood, which I interpreted as a very, very, very good dodge at telling me "no". She insisted that things aren't awkward between us, but I don't know. It's been two days since I last talked with her (or she talked with me), and I'm not sure where to go from here.

Ascaloth · 2012-10-08, 00:20

Two days? That's still a short amount of time.

Give her a week or two more, then see what happens.

Hasumi · 2012-10-08, 06:31

You know, that sounds a lot like how it was for me a couple years back, at some point I just thought 'fuck it, I can't take this shit anymore' and just told her without giving much thought to the outcome.

csuree · 2012-10-08, 07:38

Well i see thing are a bi more energetic around here. so i would join this little discussion a little more.

Recently i am trying to get a date online but i have little number of visitors or replies but there is one girl who wrote back and said she is not online too much so i suggested that we can text or phone each other. she said okay, and then i left my number to her. now i am waiting 4 her answer....she looks like a decent girl....her looks are above average, i'd say 8 out of 10. so i am looking forward to it.

and there is another girl who left me her phone number as an answer to my mail. I really do not know what to think but my first impression was that she is desperate......you don't give out your number to a perfect stranger after a line he wrote......so i am hesitating on that one and i think for a good reason.....

About muscles: in 10th and 11th grade i did some physical exercise at home and from experience i tell that your strength dramatically increases from it even if it is not a visible change... at least i did not have any visible change, but my strength increased so i could lift a 50 kg sack of cement easily and i had like 65 kilos at that time...visible muscle mass increase came at the age of 20 when i gained in a year almost 20 kg and i did not change my lifestyle...now i am not exercising but i plan to take up some kind of an exercise or else during winter i will gain additional weight as fat.

when i gained strength i felt satisfied with myself so i would recommend it to you, i felt that i could overcome anything knowing i am not that weak nerd anymore.... and it proved useful cause at that time a bully was really pissing me off and i don't know how i grabbed him by his shirt and threw him away like 2 meters. the whole class was shocked when they saw it....
even i did not believe myself.....but maybe i caught him by surprise that is why i managed to throw him. (Note: even though i did that i never fought) .

so gaining some strength is beneficial, it gives you a small boost......instead of saying "i am too weak to do it" you will say "i will try"

Knightrunner · 2012-10-08, 20:49

Csuree,
I never tried online dating, but why would leaving her number be considered desparate when you are leaving your number to somebody yourself? Her thought process probably is that if you answer her number it would be a yes, but if you don't then she'll have to assume it is a no. Besides there is always a risk when meeting perfect strangers, people you think you know, and even family.

AS for Muscles: I'm currently working out to get in decent shape so I can start activities I abandoned for studying my science courses. It's going to be greating joining fun runs and hiking once I tone up a bit. If women gave me that second glance or even a stare that's always a nice bonus too

Ultimately, I'm in a quest to find somebody that will improve myself overall. I think once your comfortable with yourself as a person and you're fine being single then you're ready to be in a relationship.

DonQuigleone · 2012-10-08, 20:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knightrunner

Csuree,
I never tried online dating, but why would leaving her number be considered desparate when you are leaving your number to somebody yourself? Her thought process probably is that if you answer her number it would be a yes, but if you don't then she'll have to assume it is a no. Besides there is always a risk when meeting perfect strangers, people you think you know, and even family.

Pretty much, some people may find chatting online to be tedious, and prefer to just skip to meeting you. If you have a number, phone, make small talk, and arrange to meet for lunch somewhere in public.

Who · 2012-10-09, 00:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Two days? That's still a short amount of time.

Give her a week or two more, then see what happens.

Guess I have no other choice. Will report back in like 4-5 days.

Jellal · 2012-10-09, 07:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPARTAN 119

Something that has been mildly annoying me. Well, in addition to the fact the few girls in my anime club I actually find attractive are either taken or completely uninterested in dating.

Also, random rant: I've thought about functions and things to ask a girl to in college. Unfortunately, the only sort of events at my university seem to be things like fraternity date parties. Problem: I'm not in a fraternity. They won't let non members in. Why the fuck do frats have to be so fucking exclusive?! I've even thought about, when I do find a date, asking her if she wants some more excitement, whether we should try and infiltrate a date party, but I was talking to a girl whose been to one and apparently they have security out the ass. They meet at a pre-set location, then take a bus to the actual party locations and don't reveal it in advance. What's with all the security? What are they trying to hide!? Would it kill them if a non-member came to one of their parties? I don't think so? In fact, if they charge admissions, they could make a few bucks.

I don't know, maybe I'm just jaded about the fact that frat boys get more dates when I'm stuck here alone. I suppose it might also be that I missed out on my junior and senior prom in high school, and I see this as a sort of chance to make up for it.

I am in a Fraternity myself, and I could see where your frustrations are.
Most of these functions however, are strictly meant between Greek Life only.

If anything, if you know anyone who's a member, you should be fine for a regular weekend party. The formal functions however, are a bit more tedious to enter. We pride ourselves in privacy. Every Fraternity is different, and so are it's members - but the general bylaws each house holds are similar.

Personally if your looking to meet new people and are 21, check out your towns Night Life.

jesh462 · 2012-10-12, 00:47

SPARTAN 119: For activities, why not take her (when you find her) to a play or ballet, a concert, or an art exhibit? Are you really only interested in getting drunk? That could be a problem in and of itself in finding women, just saying.

0utf0xZer0 · 2012-10-12, 01:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPARTAN 119

Something that has been mildly annoying me. Well, in addition to the fact the few girls in my anime club I actually find attractive are either taken or completely uninterested in dating.

I always wanted to date girls from my local anime club but I never found a girl who I felt I could really connect with.

I eventually found that girl at a local anime con - she was enthusiastic that someone recognized her costume, I offered to send her my photos of her (I'm a huge cosplay photography freak) and then I sent her an invitation to an anime club event with the photos. I think the connection we had as two fans of a show not a lot of people know (EF: A Tale of Memories) is part of why she accepted, as it turns out she was actually really shy and her enthusiasm that someone recognized her costume was a "spur of the moment" thing. That, and I tried to help her find the one other EF cosplay I knew was attending the con (which I failed at).

I realize that my success here was very dependent on the fact I met the right person, but I hope it gives you an idea what can ground a relationship between two anime fans who were basically strangers.

(P.S. ~600 of my ~1500 photos from my last con are of her in costume.)

Ascaloth · 2012-10-12, 01:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

(P.S. ~600 of my ~1500 photos from my last con are of her in costume.)

Pictures. NAO.

(J/K

)

willx · 2012-10-12, 09:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

I always wanted to date girls from my local anime club but I never found a girl who I felt I could really connect with.

I eventually found that girl at a local anime con - she was enthusiastic that someone recognized her costume, I offered to send her my photos of her (I'm a huge cosplay photography freak) and then I sent her an invitation to an anime club event with the photos. I think the connection we had as two fans of a show not a lot of people know (EF: A Tale of Memories) is part of why she accepted, as it turns out she was actually really shy and her enthusiasm that someone recognized her costume was a "spur of the moment" thing. That, and I tried to help her find the one other EF cosplay I knew was attending the con (which I failed at).

I realize that my success here was very dependent on the fact I met the right person, but I hope it gives you an idea what can ground a relationship between two anime fans who were basically strangers.

(P.S. ~600 of my ~1500 photos from my last con are of her in costume.)

Good for you, taking the initiative! I must admit my fiance and I couldn't be more different, and she generally has very little interest in anime. People date each other for a multitude of reasons that I can't even begin to explain or comprehend, sometimes things just happen..

1) She admitted she dated me because she liked how I looked, thought I was a bad boy, and I used to have lots of muscles

2) I dated her cause I thought she was an articulate girl with lots of potential .. and I happened to be single and felt like dating again ..
= And now we're engaged after dating for 7.5 years!

I just noticed you were from Vancouver, my hometown, hope the weather is treating you well! I tend to find that people from Vancouver have less than 3 degrees of separation between each other

Hasumi · 2012-10-13, 04:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

I always wanted to date girls from my local anime club but I never found a girl who I felt I could really connect with.

I eventually found that girl at a local anime con - she was enthusiastic that someone recognized her costume, I offered to send her my photos of her (I'm a huge cosplay photography freak) and then I sent her an invitation to an anime club event with the photos. I think the connection we had as two fans of a show not a lot of people know (EF: A Tale of Memories) is part of why she accepted, as it turns out she was actually really shy and her enthusiasm that someone recognized her costume was a "spur of the moment" thing. That, and I tried to help her find the one other EF cosplay I knew was attending the con (which I failed at).

I realize that my success here was very dependent on the fact I met the right person, but I hope it gives you an idea what can ground a relationship between two anime fans who were basically strangers.

(P.S. ~600 of my ~1500 photos from my last con are of her in costume.)

You Sir, have just succeeded where I have failed.

It doesn't help at all that I use a crappy digi-cam from back when developers had no idea what they were doing.

willx · 2012-10-13, 09:56

So I was at a night club last night for the first time in a while. Additionally, I was with 3 other guys at a so called "guys night out" type thing.. We get line bypassed into the club, but for once none of us are single .. so there's no one to wing man or to help hook up, so we end up just mulling about.. Anyways, certain things happen, and it made me think --

One of my friends is a very "nouveau riche"-style wealthy guy. Internet entrepreneur. He's also a serial philanderer. He's also currently engaged and has started having cold feet as he drafts a pre-nup with his lawyers. He has a lot to lose and very little impulse control.

So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?

ViolentLove · 2012-10-13, 12:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by willx

So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?

Avoid marriage and problem solved. You don't need to be married to enjoy a long and deep relationship.
And I require any girl I'm with to sleep with other guys.

Nightbat® · 2012-10-13, 18:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by willx

So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?

It's easier to nullify your marriage than your job these day, so why get married in the first place?

1) It's 2012, "Faithful" is a dirty word for at least 1 in 3 marriages
2) It's 2012, Marriage is a businesspropositon, think anything else and you're gonna lose half

DonQuigleone · 2012-10-13, 20:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by willx

So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?

1) Bad Idea.
2) Good Idea.

Paranoid Android · 2012-10-15, 14:32

How do you convince an older woman to stop making a big deal about the fact that she's older you are?

My partner is always mood-swinging between joy and depression whenever she's reminded about her age.

Rising Dragon · 2012-10-15, 14:36

Most of the time I see others dating I just see it going badly. My brother's (now former) friend got married to his girlfriend after accidentally getting her pregnant. The baby's since been born, but unfortunately the two of them split; not over the child, but because she was treating the marriage not as a lifetime commitment, but... well, closest thing I can think of, she was treating it like it was a roommate agreement or something. It's a shame, really.

willx · 2012-10-15, 14:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paranoid Android

How do you convince an older woman to stop making a big deal about the fact that she's older you are?

My partner is always mood-swinging between joy and depression whenever she's reminded about her age.

Well, if it's something that bothers her, there's no way to just "make it go away"

It'll become less and less of a big deal as you both get older (gaps narrow with time, just do the math) and if you respond appropriately when she brings it up. I need to reminds myself of this from time to time, but sometimes people just want to hear comforting words. Oh, and - "You love her and everything about her"

2012-10-08, 06:31	Link #10823
Hasumi 野球は最高！！ Author Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: ホウエン地方	You know, that sounds a lot like how it was for me a couple years back, at some point I just thought 'fuck it, I can't take this shit anymore' and just told her without giving much thought to the outcome. __________________

2012-10-08, 07:38	Link #10824
csuree The Black Swordsman Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Romania, Oradea Age: 25	Well i see thing are a bi more energetic around here. so i would join this little discussion a little more. Recently i am trying to get a date online but i have little number of visitors or replies but there is one girl who wrote back and said she is not online too much so i suggested that we can text or phone each other. she said okay, and then i left my number to her. now i am waiting 4 her answer....she looks like a decent girl....her looks are above average, i'd say 8 out of 10. so i am looking forward to it. and there is another girl who left me her phone number as an answer to my mail. I really do not know what to think but my first impression was that she is desperate......you don't give out your number to a perfect stranger after a line he wrote......so i am hesitating on that one and i think for a good reason..... About muscles: in 10th and 11th grade i did some physical exercise at home and from experience i tell that your strength dramatically increases from it even if it is not a visible change... at least i did not have any visible change, but my strength increased so i could lift a 50 kg sack of cement easily and i had like 65 kilos at that time...visible muscle mass increase came at the age of 20 when i gained in a year almost 20 kg and i did not change my lifestyle...now i am not exercising but i plan to take up some kind of an exercise or else during winter i will gain additional weight as fat. when i gained strength i felt satisfied with myself so i would recommend it to you, i felt that i could overcome anything knowing i am not that weak nerd anymore.... and it proved useful cause at that time a bully was really pissing me off and i don't know how i grabbed him by his shirt and threw him away like 2 meters. the whole class was shocked when they saw it.... even i did not believe myself.....but maybe i caught him by surprise that is why i managed to throw him. (Note: even though i did that i never fought) . so gaining some strength is beneficial, it gives you a small boost......instead of saying "i am too weak to do it" you will say "i will try" __________________ “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not.” Go for your dreams, never give up.Because when you give up your dreams, you die!

2012-10-08, 20:49	Link #10825
Knightrunner Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: United States--- California	Csuree, I never tried online dating, but why would leaving her number be considered desparate when you are leaving your number to somebody yourself? Her thought process probably is that if you answer her number it would be a yes, but if you don't then she'll have to assume it is a no. Besides there is always a risk when meeting perfect strangers, people you think you know, and even family. AS for Muscles: I'm currently working out to get in decent shape so I can start activities I abandoned for studying my science courses. It's going to be greating joining fun runs and hiking once I tone up a bit. If women gave me that second glance or even a stare that's always a nice bonus too Ultimately, I'm in a quest to find somebody that will improve myself overall. I think once your comfortable with yourself as a person and you're fine being single then you're ready to be in a relationship. __________________ Credit to grylsygaeger

2012-10-15, 14:36	Link #10839
Rising Dragon Goat Herder Author Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: The middle of the Middle of Nowhere Age: 25	Most of the time I see others dating I just see it going badly. My brother's (now former) friend got married to his girlfriend after accidentally getting her pregnant. The baby's since been born, but unfortunately the two of them split; not over the child, but because she was treating the marriage not as a lifetime commitment, but... well, closest thing I can think of, she was treating it like it was a roommate agreement or something. It's a shame, really. __________________

2012-10-07, 22:45	Link #10821
Who Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: NY, USA Age: 22	There's a girl I knew for three years. I always thought she was attractive and such and someone fun to hang out with, but I never really thought of her in a girlfriend type of way until recently, after hanging out with her several times for lunch. Trouble is, she was set up with another guy by a mutual friend of ours (who doesn't know of my attraction to her). They've been meeting each other for 3 weeks now (they met 3 weeks ago as well), grabbing lunch here and there, but it's not really official, as he hasn't asked her out, and she's not sure where they stand. She sorta likes him, but again, isn't sure. I only know all this because I asked her directly, before directly confessing to her, because I said 'screw this, because even if it makes things awkward between us, I want her to know how I feel, and I don't want to regret not saying anything.' She was very flattered and honored (her exact words) and told me that I should have told her before. She was also very shy and embarassed and surprised, if that counts for anything, hiding behind a bookstore when she tripped over her words trying to find the correct answer. However, she still wasn't sure where she stood, which I interpreted as a very, very, very good dodge at telling me "no". She insisted that things aren't awkward between us, but I don't know. It's been two days since I last talked with her (or she talked with me), and I'm not sure where to go from here.

2012-10-08, 00:20	Link #10822
Ascaloth I don't give a damn, dude Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In Despair Age: 27	Two days? That's still a short amount of time. Give her a week or two more, then see what happens.

2012-10-12, 00:47	Link #10829
jesh462 Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: NC	SPARTAN 119: For activities, why not take her (when you find her) to a play or ballet, a concert, or an art exhibit? Are you really only interested in getting drunk? That could be a problem in and of itself in finding women, just saying.

2012-10-13, 09:56	Link #10834
willx Nyaaan~~ Join Date: Feb 2006 Age: 29	So I was at a night club last night for the first time in a while. Additionally, I was with 3 other guys at a so called "guys night out" type thing.. We get line bypassed into the club, but for once none of us are single .. so there's no one to wing man or to help hook up, so we end up just mulling about.. Anyways, certain things happen, and it made me think -- One of my friends is a very "nouveau riche"-style wealthy guy. Internet entrepreneur. He's also a serial philanderer. He's also currently engaged and has started having cold feet as he drafts a pre-nup with his lawyers. He has a lot to lose and very little impulse control. So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?

2012-10-15, 14:32	Link #10838
Paranoid Android Underweight Food Hoarder Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Kitch-Water and T.O., Canada Age: 22	How do you convince an older woman to stop making a big deal about the fact that she's older you are? My partner is always mood-swinging between joy and depression whenever she's reminded about her age.