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Old 2012-10-13, 04:15   Link #10821
Masuzu
« 勝利のため »
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: « キセキの世代 »
Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
I always wanted to date girls from my local anime club but I never found a girl who I felt I could really connect with.

I eventually found that girl at a local anime con - she was enthusiastic that someone recognized her costume, I offered to send her my photos of her (I'm a huge cosplay photography freak) and then I sent her an invitation to an anime club event with the photos. I think the connection we had as two fans of a show not a lot of people know (EF: A Tale of Memories) is part of why she accepted, as it turns out she was actually really shy and her enthusiasm that someone recognized her costume was a "spur of the moment" thing. That, and I tried to help her find the one other EF cosplay I knew was attending the con (which I failed at).

I realize that my success here was very dependent on the fact I met the right person, but I hope it gives you an idea what can ground a relationship between two anime fans who were basically strangers.

(P.S. ~600 of my ~1500 photos from my last con are of her in costume.)
You Sir, have just succeeded where I have failed.

It doesn't help at all that I use a crappy digi-cam from back when developers had no idea what they were doing.
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Old 2012-10-13, 09:56   Link #10822
willx
Nyaaan~~
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 31
So I was at a night club last night for the first time in a while. Additionally, I was with 3 other guys at a so called "guys night out" type thing.. We get line bypassed into the club, but for once none of us are single .. so there's no one to wing man or to help hook up, so we end up just mulling about.. Anyways, certain things happen, and it made me think --

One of my friends is a very "nouveau riche"-style wealthy guy. Internet entrepreneur. He's also a serial philanderer. He's also currently engaged and has started having cold feet as he drafts a pre-nup with his lawyers. He has a lot to lose and very little impulse control.

So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?
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Old 2012-10-13, 12:06   Link #10823
ViolentLove
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?
Avoid marriage and problem solved. You don't need to be married to enjoy a long and deep relationship.
And I require any girl I'm with to sleep with other guys.
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Old 2012-10-13, 18:10   Link #10824
Nightbat®
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Neverlands
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?
It's easier to nullify your marriage than your job these day, so why get married in the first place?

1) It's 2012, "Faithful" is a dirty word for at least 1 in 3 marriages
2) It's 2012, Marriage is a businesspropositon, think anything else and you're gonna lose half

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Old 2012-10-13, 20:34   Link #10825
DonQuigleone
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?
1) Bad Idea.
2) Good Idea.
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Old 2012-10-15, 14:32   Link #10826
Paranoid Android
Underweight Food Hoarder
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Kitch-Water and T.O., Canada
Age: 23
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How do you convince an older woman to stop making a big deal about the fact that she's older you are?

My partner is always mood-swinging between joy and depression whenever she's reminded about her age.
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Old 2012-10-15, 14:36   Link #10827
Rising Dragon
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The middle of the Middle of Nowhere
Age: 27
Most of the time I see others dating I just see it going badly. My brother's (now former) friend got married to his girlfriend after accidentally getting her pregnant. The baby's since been born, but unfortunately the two of them split; not over the child, but because she was treating the marriage not as a lifetime commitment, but... well, closest thing I can think of, she was treating it like it was a roommate agreement or something. It's a shame, really.
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Old 2012-10-15, 14:45   Link #10828
willx
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paranoid Android View Post
How do you convince an older woman to stop making a big deal about the fact that she's older you are?

My partner is always mood-swinging between joy and depression whenever she's reminded about her age.
Well, if it's something that bothers her, there's no way to just "make it go away"

It'll become less and less of a big deal as you both get older (gaps narrow with time, just do the math) and if you respond appropriately when she brings it up. I need to reminds myself of this from time to time, but sometimes people just want to hear comforting words. Oh, and - "You love her and everything about her"
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Old 2012-10-15, 15:03   Link #10829
Paranoid Android
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Age: 23
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Thanks for reply willx. I hope it does ease up later on. It just pains me to see her depressed every time. It's not serious to the point that anything happens as a result of it, but she just sulks from time to time. :' (
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Old 2012-10-15, 15:17   Link #10830
willx
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paranoid Android View Post
Thanks for reply willx. I hope it does ease up later on. It just pains me to see her depressed every time. It's not serious to the point that anything happens as a result of it, but she just sulks from time to time. :' (
Seriously though kind words go a long damn way. I'm one of those people that, when I'm not in one of my "touch-y feel-y" moods, tends to be a tiny bit oblivious about people's emotions and feelings and that bites me in the butt sometimes..

"I love you, and everything that makes you, you. That includes your life and experiences before you met me .. heck, that's why I fell for you in the first place, and that won't ever change." -- Would probably help a bit

FYI, I also wasn't joking about the math, example:
13 x 18 = ew! gross! criminal!
17 x 22 = still dating a minor! crime!
23 x 28 = hm, that's a bit of a gap?
33 x 38 = huh, what are we talking about again?
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Old 2012-10-15, 15:30   Link #10831
NorthernFallout
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Frosty Scandinavia
Age: 25
Yea, what willx said. Indifference with positive connotations, would be my line. Out of curiosity, how much older? My ex had about 8+ on me, though she never had that problem.

Speaking of which, I think I'm starting to come to terms with that part *cough*
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Old 2012-10-15, 15:48   Link #10832
Ruby Princess
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
So I was at a night club last night for the first time in a while. Additionally, I was with 3 other guys at a so called "guys night out" type thing.. We get line bypassed into the club, but for once none of us are single .. so there's no one to wing man or to help hook up, so we end up just mulling about.. Anyways, certain things happen, and it made me think --

One of my friends is a very "nouveau riche"-style wealthy guy. Internet entrepreneur. He's also a serial philanderer. He's also currently engaged and has started having cold feet as he drafts a pre-nup with his lawyers. He has a lot to lose and very little impulse control.

So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?
1) It's the best? ^^; That way you can have your cake (Romance) and the cherry on top too (lots of secks with lots of guys).
2) What's that?
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Old 2012-10-16, 17:00   Link #10833
NinjaRealist
Battoru!
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
So, questions: What are people's thoughts regarding 1) infidelity and 2) prenuptial agreements?
1. Infidelity is akin to attempted murder, because people suffer severe psychological pain/trauma and often kill themselves when cheated on.

Personally, I deal with infidelity the same way I deal with anyone who cheats me (be it over love, money or anything else), I convince them I've forgiven them and then I hit them with death blow of unhappiness. Serves them right.

Open relationships, or outright polyamory, however, is cool.

2. If you're dumb enough to get married then for god's sake get a prenup. You'll be glad once you come to your senses.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Princess
1) It's the best? ^^; That way you can have your cake (Romance) and the cherry on top too (lots of secks with lots of guys).
First off, if you're a narcissist or a sociopath ignore what I'm about to say:

Do you realize that infidelity means deceiving your partner into thinking that you are faithful when, in reality, you are not?

If so, then I hope you someday come to your senses and stop behaving like a horrible monster.

It can be fun to act like a monster sometime, but if you treat your friends and loved ones like this you will never make any meaningful connections in life and ultimately find yourself sad and alone.

I say this as someone who has cheated and lied before but realized the damage I was doing to myself and my friends. Stop before someone gets hurt so bad they never recover from it.

P.S. An acquaintance of mine recently killed himself when he found out that the love of his life was just a sadistic cheater. So don't think I'm being melodramatic.
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Old 2012-10-16, 17:32   Link #10834
Who
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NY, USA
Age: 23
So... didn't have a happy ending. She chose to go with the other guy, but I had to hear from other sources, which upset me, as I'd rather have heard from her directly.

Still, I told her how I felt, and wished her well, saying that I'll just wait my turn once more and that how all I want at this point is for us to talk normally like before, although I know that it'll never really be normal between us anymore.

Not exactly the best way to head into one's own birthday, but I feel much lighter about the entire situation now, having gotten some closure.
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Old 2012-10-16, 22:35   Link #10835
Ascaloth
I don't give a damn, dude
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Who View Post
So... didn't have a happy ending. She chose to go with the other guy, but I had to hear from other sources, which upset me, as I'd rather have heard from her directly.

Still, I told her how I felt, and wished her well, saying that I'll just wait my turn once more and that how all I want at this point is for us to talk normally like before, although I know that it'll never really be normal between us anymore.

Not exactly the best way to head into one's own birthday, but I feel much lighter about the entire situation now, having gotten some closure.
Too bad, but that's life.

But word of advice; don't wait for her. Go about your own life, explore other possibilities. Don't get yourself stuck waiting for someone you may not have a chance with. You'd be better off for it.
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Old 2012-10-16, 22:49   Link #10836
willx
Nyaaan~~
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 31
@NinjaRealist -- Although he's just an acquaintance I offer my sincere condolences. It's never something pleasant.

@Ruby Princess -- A "prenup" or prenuptial agreement is basically a document you sign pre-marriage that sets out what happens in "what if" scenarios. Usually used to keep the richer spouse from losing too much assets. (Doesn't work as well in Canada / Ontario as in some states, even with a near iron-clad prenup it can be 60/40)

Cheating is a tough topic to cover. Maybe I shouldn't have put it out there so lightly..

For people that have been cheated on or seen the effects, it can be a horrible evil thing, one of the worst things that can be done to or by a person. On the other hand, apparently everyone does it, because the facts unfortunately point to that fact. Heck, statistically, most people in this forum have probably engaged in it, unless we've self-selected our sample
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Old 2012-10-16, 23:54   Link #10837
SPARTAN 119
Unleashing the Homu-Rage
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Well, I'm back to reply to you guys:

Quote:
Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0 View Post
I always wanted to date girls from my local anime club but I never found a girl who I felt I could really connect with.

I eventually found that girl at a local anime con - she was enthusiastic that someone recognized her costume, I offered to send her my photos of her (I'm a huge cosplay photography freak) and then I sent her an invitation to an anime club event with the photos. I think the connection we had as two fans of a show not a lot of people know (EF: A Tale of Memories) is part of why she accepted, as it turns out she was actually really shy and her enthusiasm that someone recognized her costume was a "spur of the moment" thing. That, and I tried to help her find the one other EF cosplay I knew was attending the con (which I failed at).

I realize that my success here was very dependent on the fact I met the right person, but I hope it gives you an idea what can ground a relationship between two anime fans who were basically strangers.

(P.S. ~600 of my ~1500 photos from my last con are of her in costume.)
Like I said, I've been trying to get out more, however, the fact that I have mid-terms right now has kind of put that on hold. As per cons, I might go to one next year.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jesh462 View Post
SPARTAN 119: For activities, why not take her (when you find her) to a play or ballet, a concert, or an art exhibit? Are you really only interested in getting drunk? That could be a problem in and of itself in finding women, just saying.
I am actually not at all interested in getting drunk. I just thought that would be a good place to meet girls who are single.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellal View Post
I am in a Fraternity myself, and I could see where your frustrations are.
Most of these functions however, are strictly meant between Greek Life only.

If anything, if you know anyone who's a member, you should be fine for a regular weekend party. The formal functions however, are a bit more tedious to enter. We pride ourselves in privacy. Every Fraternity is different, and so are it's members - but the general bylaws each house holds are similar.

Personally if your looking to meet new people and are 21, check out your towns Night Life.
Hmmm... a frat boy and an otaku.... I thought that combination was prohibited by several laws of physics.... just kidding, don't take any offense to that.

As per me and frat boys, I have something of an envy-hate-ignore relationship with them, again, no offense to you. In spite of what my previous post said, I'm usually in the "ignore" state.

The only thing that I can say as far as my bizarre desire to "infiltrate" a date party, I comes down to my unusual psychology. Lets just say, I started to view date parties as a second shot at my failed prom in high school. Now I had that view in freshman year in university, but I had abandoned it until it resurfaced recently after I heard about a person's "experience" with a his date after prom. And lets just say said experience matched a fantasy of mine, which I will not share with you (no matter how much your ask! But lets say its an act I am determined to perform before I die)

Either way, I started to associated prom with that "event" and the "fantasy", and looked for a college equivalent, and remembered the date parties. So I was determined to "take back" the "memories stolen by Asperger's", and get a date to a date party. When I remembered that the Greek people keep outsiders out.

So yeah, I was pissed off, as they seemed to me to be planning to keep me from my "fantasy". However, in my more "sane" side of myself, I realized the prom or similar event is in no way associated with my actual "fantasy".

Rather than copying someone else's experience, I should create my own.

As per the "fantasy". In fact, I checked an adult dating service, and discovered there were plenty of women with similar "sexual interests", and, while my current situation- no car, live at home, makes using said service difficult, most people on the dating service were 25-35, so I have plenty of time left.

Still, I do sometimes feel I would like a second shot at prom-like experience. Is a nightclub my best bet?
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Old 2012-10-17, 02:01   Link #10838
Who
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NY, USA
Age: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Too bad, but that's life.

But word of advice; don't wait for her. Go about your own life, explore other possibilities. Don't get yourself stuck waiting for someone you may not have a chance with. You'd be better off for it.
Uh... I'm not moping about it. I just said I'd be back from last week to say how it went. The way you put it makes it seem like I'm not aware of any of this stuff already. I still enjoy her company as a friend, without any of the romantic attachment/desire and she's not the first female friend I've been turned down by and managed to keep a friendship with for long periods of time.

It's not like I don't appreciate your advice though, because even if I already know it, it's always good to have someone repeat it over.
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Old 2012-10-17, 02:15   Link #10839
Dr. Casey
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tennessee
Age: 27
I don't think Ascaloth meant to imply that you were moping, because your message was perfectly clear and you seem to be handling things well enough; he was just saying that waiting for her would be a bad idea. Love can either be a bitch or the most wonderful thing in the world, and judging by your last few posts, this girl is more likely to show you the former side of the coin. There's a chance that neither you nor anyone else in the world will get a turn in the first place assuming she stays with this guy for good (Or even if she breaks up a few months or years down the road, do you want to be strung along that long?), or what if you get your chance, only to find out that it doesn't matter whether she's single or taken because she doesn't feel the same way about you? Sorry, I know I'm being incredibly blunt and callous, but I think you might be taking the first steps down a long road of having your heart torn out. Protect it better, don't go down that road at all and search for someone else.
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Old 2012-10-17, 02:35   Link #10840
Ascaloth
I don't give a damn, dude
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 28
^ This. 10char
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