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Old 2012-10-20, 06:59   Link #37661
demino_hellsin
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^Generally

well Energy destruction is what Reiraku Byakuya does. Which is applied to all of canon Setsura's functions. Energy Destroying particles sound better than Energy Destroying Energy...

Also this Second Shift is a lot smaller than the canon one. Much like the ShenLong Ssu-Li

The Yukihira blades also get tweaked but I don't want to confuse you any further.
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Old 2012-10-20, 07:07   Link #37662
ZeroXSEED
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Well ByakuShiki has two fanon route in it's incarnation

For ST
> 2nd Shift: A hybrid of novel and anime, Setsura do not exist, but it's function has been integrated to the standard gauntlets.
> Overshift: Full release of weapon and abilities (impossible in normal condition) include Seven Sword Module and PDE system
For TLR
> 2nd Shift: No second shift
> Overshift: as said before, more like a deranged, giant pistol shrimp that fly

Also, first ST Draft after 4 month hiatus

Spoiler for Sacred Twins Chapter 13 Part 1:
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Old 2012-10-20, 07:10   Link #37663
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Sup Just woke up, so I'll probably write a draft soon.
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Old 2012-10-20, 07:12   Link #37664
demino_hellsin
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I'll still be using most of the stuff I discussed before as special moves Ichika develops using his IS' functions.

Mudou is interesting as it emulates a short range teleport. Though it actually doesn't. Merely concentrating Reiraku to an extent that it nulls light energy and all other external eneries. Rendering the unit practically non-existent. Though if spread over a wide area, you can see it as a blurb of nothingness on your screen. Kinda like the GN particle effect, except it even negates energy fire.
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Old 2012-10-20, 07:25   Link #37665
ZeroXSEED
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@ Eras
Can you add some crunch to the draft above? It's bland as raw dough
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Old 2012-10-20, 07:37   Link #37666
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - You need to add character actions. It feels like once dialogue starts your characters simply stand in place and utter their lines.

For example: They're supposedly running when they're snarking at one another, right? So why do they make no turns, jumps, or any other actions at all? Are they simply running a straight line?
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Old 2012-10-20, 07:42   Link #37667
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Okay then, let's see what I can do

(EDIT: now I realize why the word count always been raised by 30% after Blitz get a work on it...)
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Last edited by ZeroXSEED; 2012-10-20 at 07:53.
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Old 2012-10-20, 08:50   Link #37668
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Short draft to get me in the mood again


Spoiler:


Too lazy to complete the draft tonight.
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Old 2012-10-20, 11:52   Link #37669
agetreme
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Question:

Moral Dilemma: Enter ISA (And have a chance to restore social order) or return to his old boring life but be laden with 2 million dollar debt as fine

A guy look outside and saw a woman insulting and beating up a man.

What do you think he will choose?

(Quick survey to find out the typical response )
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Old 2012-10-20, 19:10   Link #37670
ZeroXSEED
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@ Age
Enter ISA and then avoid romantic flag, because that's worse than being outside.

@ Eras
Poor, poor Aya. :3
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Old 2012-10-20, 19:40   Link #37671
demino_hellsin
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get into ISA. As a real man, it would be to avoid debt.
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Old 2012-10-20, 19:43   Link #37672
blitz1/2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
Okay then, let's see what I can do

(EDIT: now I realize why the word count always been raised by 30% after Blitz get a work on it...)
Well, for me. It's important to list details as it helps the readers to understand what's happening. Because a common mistake is too much dialogue and it forces the reader to needless interpret their actions.
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Old 2012-10-20, 20:03   Link #37673
ZeroXSEED
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Yeah, I'm a bad writer after all, I just like writing
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Old 2012-10-20, 20:09   Link #37674
demino_hellsin
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It's funny that whenever I read my own work, I never remember writing them. It always feels like somebody else did the writing
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Old 2012-10-21, 00:24   Link #37675
agetreme
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
It's funny that whenever I read my own work, I never remember writing them. It always feels like somebody else did the writing
Better than me.....

when I read/write the story...

Tone of "voice" of the story is monotonous and boring......

I really need to learn how to write a story with an excited tone.

===

Which is prefer: Be laden with 2 million dollar debt or going into a world of pain you would never want to experience?
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Old 2012-10-21, 00:29   Link #37676
demino_hellsin
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2 million dollar debt IS a life laden with pain and torture. Heck if you're dealing with the mafia then they'd cut you open and sell your organs. Most people would have you work directly under them or keep collectors dogging you.
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Old 2012-10-21, 00:46   Link #37677
ZeroXSEED
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^ what he said

I spoke as a medical expert of this forum (relatively speaking), hailed form a third world country even.
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Old 2012-10-21, 00:56   Link #37678
demino_hellsin
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Is RtZ overpowered or is it a situational kind of move? Opinions?
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Old 2012-10-21, 01:06   Link #37679
ZeroXSEED
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Not really, it shares the same weakness as original RB after all.

Since it's still vulnerable to kinetic impact, good luck facing pesky shrapnel weapon that could very well filled the sky (totally useless normally).
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Old 2012-10-21, 11:01   Link #37680
agetreme
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Okay....

End result: The guy don't want to go to ISA and rather be laden with the two million dollar fine.

Mostly because he is abnormal.... Game Addict nearly on-par with Keima.

Not like it matter much because going into ISA is the only option for him anyway...

To put it simple: "It is not a choice, Mister. We are forcing you there."

Thankfully that contract(going into ISA), doesn't include being expelled.

So he is desperately trying to get expelled by being extremely Hot-blooded and perverted (the latter will land him in hospital where he can play his game in peace, so....win-win situation?).....opposite of his real personality and he has to act like that every time somebody from ISA is nearby so they wouldn't suspect that it is an act.

=

On the drones:
Spoiler for Kyrios:
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Last edited by agetreme; 2012-10-21 at 13:19.
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