Okay! Done proofreading. Unfortunately, I've done it in a really inefficient and ultimately dumb way. Instead of just looking at the script and proofreading that, I played the game instead. On day 2, I even gave up on trying to play through every choice using rollback. Oh well. Looking at the script would've been cheating. And less fun.
Also, instead of correcting the script myself, I just painstakingly typed up every typo that needed to be corrected. In case someone had already worked on the script in between the time it was uploaded and now. I wouldn't mind fixing them all myself, though.
When I think about it... why am I proofreading it when it's not done yet (also, no one even asked me to do this)... Then again, I didn't realize that until the end. Herp. Anyway, this sorta just covers everything on the Divine Route. I'll play it again. Also, please ignore every time I point out missing formatting that was there before occasionally, like transitions. I... was having a dumb moment for a while. I... also may have accidentally pointed out "mistakes" that were just differences between British and American English. I tried to erase all those corrections. Anyway, that was really super awesome (though I did get some exception thingies).
EDIT: Trying to do all the Nagato-friendly choices this time around. Since Yuuki is my favorite after Haruki... I'm not shallow, right? Right? I actually kinda wanna draw or color sprites or do something more productive than this but... can't do anything without, at the very least, that height chart. Which I lack access to.
Corrections
Spoiler:
Day 1
Spoiler:
- Day 0 -
"too many thing she hadn't done"
should be
"too many things she hadn't done"
"Well, ok, that last bit was a lie."
should be
"Well, okay, that last bit was a lie."
"'Morning."
should be, even though it's short for "good morning",
"Morning."
"I sat by the windowpane."
"I though I'd take a quick detour"
should be
"I thought I'd take a quick detour"
"cries of the higurashi"
Why not just say "cicadas"?
Maybe "Every. Single. Time." should be "Every. Single. One."
"who dad usually sends"
should be
"who Dad usually sends"
"a school day, right kid?"
should be
"a school day, right, kid?"
"many thing he hadn't done"
should be
"many things he hadn't done"
"Well, ok, that last bit was a lie."
should be
"Well, okay, that last bit was a lie."
"'Morning."
should be, even though it's short for "good morning",
"Morning."
"She still wearing that ugly dress too..."
should be
"She's still wearing that ugly dress, too..."
"Except in the universe where it did happen, right, my dear?" is for some reason in the textbox instead of centered.
"everything that happened, over the summer?"
should be
"everything that happened over the summer?"
"Its been a long day, for a"
should be
"It's been a long day for a"
"Goodnight, world."
should be
"Good night, world."
"Goodnight."
should be
"Good night."
"Hes cute when he's sleeping."
should be
"He's cute when he's sleeping."
"it won't matter any more anyway."
should be
"it won't matter anymore anyway."
"Its just adorable."
should be
"It's just adorable."
- Day 1 -
"Well then... I guess I have no choice"
should be
"Well, then... I guess I have no choice"
"...Move, muscles, Move!"
should be
"...Move, muscles, move!"
"T-That hurt, you little..."
should be, I think,
"Th-that hurt, you little..."
but it's a matter of opinion, maybe.
"After that horrific ordeal at breakfast, I came to class only" should be "I came to class only". Otherwise, the sentence doesn't flow if you just finished walking to school with Itsuko. You could also add a conditional so that it only shows up if you didn't walk to school with Itsuko... I guess.
"The instant I say this, TanF collapses on her desk again."
TanF? Huh? Is that like Taniguchi (Female) or something?
"Er, yesterday after school, Taniguchi saw Tsuruya-senpai walking withs ome second-year girl she didn't know."
If she doesn't know her, how does she know she's a second-year? By the uniform or something?
"Put it this way one day, your mouth will utter"
should be
"Put it this way: one day, your mouth will utter"
"...No, no it won't be"
should be
"...No. No, it won't be"
"but eating all the eggs is going a bit far, and that they don't help"
should be
"but eating all the eggs is going a bit far, and they don't help"
"Like I said, Asahina-senapi"
should be
"Like I said, Asahina-senpai"
"But, how? I was with him"
should be
"But how? I was with him" or "But...how? I was with him"
Day 2
Spoiler:
"Forget everything youve ever known."
should be
"Forget everything you've ever known." (Unless it's on purpose?)
"Don't look at me with eyes like that, Asahina-san, I'm fine."
should be
"Don't look at me with eyes like that, Asahina-san. I'm fine."
"Its Kunikida, who looks uncharacteristically nervous."
should be
"It's Kunikida, who looks uncharacteristically nervous."
"...Hes acting oddly, but he always acts oddly."
should be
"...He's acting oddly, but he always acts oddly."
"...It's classified, so its hard for me to explain,"
should be
"...It's classified, so it's hard for me to explain, but..."
"Its the end!"
should be
"It's the end!"
"If we look around, were bound to find someone"
should be
"If we look around, we're bound to find someone"
"Ah, no, were really very"
should be
"Ah, no, we're really very"
"Were from Canada."
should be
"We're from Canada."
"Wait, no, were not finished"
should be
"Wait, no, we're not finished"
"Well be late for the meeting."
should be
"We'll be late for the meeting."
"Is a huge, grey. Infinity symbol."
should be
"Is a huge grey infinity symbol." or "Is a huge. Grey. Infinity symbol."
"...Haruhis voice calls me back to reality."
should be
"...Haruhi's voice calls me back to reality."
"What the heck did Nagato do to the website? Its messed up!"
should be
"What the heck did Nagato do to the website? It's messed up!"
"Itll be done by tomorrow, I swear."
should be
"It'll be done by tomorrow, I swear."
"this summer, weve got to step up"
should be
"this summer, we've got to step up"
"Excuse me, I have to take his call."
should probably be
"Excuse me, I have to take this call."
"Usually, when a meeting is over, Haruhi, never one to waste time, was the first one out the door."
should be
"Usually, when a meeting was over, Haruhi, never one to waste time, was the first one out the door."
"Its too much trouble, leave her alone."
should be
"It's too much trouble, leave her alone."
"doing it unless were in teams, right?"
should be
"doing it unless we're in teams, right?"
"they took me to the Nurses's Office, where I"
should be
"they took me to the Nurse's Office, where I"
"Let us all bow our heads in in respect"
should be
"Let us all bow our heads in respect"
Day 3
Spoiler:
"Even if it's true. It's still kind of insulting."
is fine... but I think it'd be better as
"Even if it's true, it's still kind of insulting." or "Yeah, it's true. But it's still kind of insulting."
"He's been asking this question every single chance he got."
should be
"He's been asking this question every single chance he gets."
"Alright, Okay, thank you."
should be
"Alright, okay, thank you." or "Alright. Okay, thank you."
"I don't see any boy's clothes"
should be
"I don't see any boys' clothes"
"Current Location School Courtyard"
should be
"Current location: school courtyard."
"What does he run on? Windows '95?"
should be
"What does he run on? Windows 95?"
"Why can't we just talk this out peacefully."
should probably be
"Why can't we just talk this out peacefully?"
"land into the pool, but as Nagato does his thing"
should be
"land into the pool, but Nagato does his thing"
"that rumors are going around, but, still"
should be
"that rumors are going around, but still"
"I'm going to walk you back to clubroom."
should be
"I'm going to walk you back to the clubroom."
"how you did with The SOS Brigade's homepage."
should be
"how you did with the SOS Brigade's homepage."
Then I got an exception:
"I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
While running game code:
File "game/Day3.rpy", line 1143, in script
IndentationError: unexpected indent (game/Day3.rpy, line 1143)
-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------
Full traceback:
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\execution.py", line 265, in run
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\ast.py", line 1413, in execute
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\ast.py", line 1426, in call
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\statements.py", line 100, in call
File "common/00statements.rpy", line 527, in execute_show_screen
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\python.py", line 1009, in py_eval
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\python.py", line 259, in py_compile
IndentationError: unexpected indent (game/Day3.rpy, line 1143)
Windows-7-6.1.7601-SP1
Ren'Py 6.13.12.1728
The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya 0.1"
I ignored it. The next lines appeared shifted over to the right, like when you do that textbox-split-screen thing. Like, the padding was screwed up or something.
"I've known him, (or perhaps that's known of him),"
should be
"I've known him, (or perhaps that's 'known of him'),"
"I wasn't when I asked him, but, still"
should be
"urgh, and at first I though"
should be
"urgh, and at first I thought"
"whether your were sleeping or waking"
should be
"whether you were sleeping or waking" or "whether you were asleep or awake"
"No it doesn't. It's stupid and you know it is."
should be
"No, it doesn't. It's stupid and you know it is."
"he popped his head out, and said."
should be
"he popped his head out, and said" to match previous formatting, or "he popped his head out, and said," to be correct.
After "Let's try asking Mr. Fence!", the color of the speaker is that of male Kyon, but it should be Kyonko's color.
"The group of people is talking about the Endless Summer."
should be, to match the previous tense,
"The group of people talks about the Endless Summer."
There's nothing to indicate a transition between Kyonko's perspective and Kyon's anymore.
"Goodnight, strange noise."
should be
"Good night, strange noise."
Day 4
Spoiler:
"what I had been thinking None of the"
should be
"what I had been thinking. None of the"
No transition before label Attractive_New_Face to indicate a change in perspective.
Pretty Girl's name should be Itsuko's color.
"we've arrived at our destination"
should be
"we've arrived at our destination."
"why would we moving to this universe"
should be
"why would be moving to this universe" or "why would we move to this universe"
"/*ahem/*"
should be
"*ahem*"
"Even if we assume this possibility as true" is the beginning of an unusually large text box. Maybe split it into two screens. The same problem exists for "Ah, excellent point. I did not think of that.", "if that is the case, then", "Yes, exactly. Think of it, say, like this", "Say Suzumiya-san's power really is infinite."
"was him flopping onto a carboard box"
should be
"was him flopping onto a cardboard box"
Needs a transition before label Sealed_realities and the background needs to be gone again.
"The so-called SOS Brigade' has left"
should be
"The so-called SOS Brigade has left"
"in Haruki Suzumiya's so-called SOS Brigade.'"
should be
"in Haruki Suzumiya's so-called SOS Brigade."
"Isn't that enough of a reason to drop time /classified/' status on your technology?"
Should that be...?
"to drop the 'classified' status on your technology?"
"and a chair falling backwards onto the floor"
should be
"and a chair falling backwards onto the floor."
"behind the Director burst"
should be "behind the Director bursts"
Missing a transition after "He hacks out a chuckle." as well. You get the point.
"Well no, no, it isn't"
should be
"Well, no, no, it isn't" or "Well, no. No, it isn't"
"if I said those thing"
should be
"if I said those things"
"he make a quick"
should be
"he made a quick"
"Ehat's so funny?"
should be
"What's so funny?"
"The above conversation"
should probably be
"the aforementioned conversation"
"or the "world will be destroyed"
should be
"or "the world will be destroyed"
"I seem to have to do keep doing"
should be
"I seem to have to keep doing"
"but they don't let rooms hourly"
should be... not sure. "but they don't rent rooms hourly"? Not sure "rent" is the right word.
"WxNDOWS 95".
But you said Windows 95 earlier in the story... You should censor it the first time, too.
"Two men in military uniform sat at desk"
should be
"Two men in military uniforms sat at the desk" Take or leave the s on uniform, I guess.
"Haruhi Suzumiya loved his"
should be
"Haruki Suzumiya loved his"
"Well, here's a good"
should be
"Well, here's as good"
"and you continue to insist, "you're fine.""
should be
"and you continue to insist, you're "fine.""
"I would like it if you came with me"
should be
"I would like it if you came with me."
"Thank you. Goodnight, Kyon."
should be
"Thank you. Good night, Kyon."
"Mmm. Goodnight."
should be
"Mmm. Good night."
"a guy on a motorbike to pass by him. It did."
should be
"a guy on a motorbike to pass by him. One did."
"Two cards."
should be
"Two cars."
Day 5
Spoiler:
"trying to look indimidating."
should be
"trying to look intimidating."
"to come forward, etcetera"
should be
"to come forward, et cetera"
"they kept asking my why I did it."
should be
"they kept asking me why I did it."
"What right to these delinquents"
should be
"What right do these delinquents"
"I snuck into North High"
This whole line shouldn't be in Courier.
"I wanna make 'nother tanzaku."
should probably just be
"I wanna make another tanzaku."
"It would be somewhere where no one"
could totally just be
"It would be somewhere no one"
"something terrifying familiar"
should be
"something terrifyingly familiar"
"to play with when and whenever you want."
should probably be
"to play with where and whenever you want."
"you look like some kind delinquent punk"
should be
"you look like some kind of delinquent punk"
The line beginning with "Uncharacteristic stalker-like behavior" has Haruhi's name in the textbox, instead of above the textbox.
"Oh thank god."
should be
"Oh, thank god."
"Why? Why is that the first thing you assume?" is a very long textbook. Not sure if intentional.
"then I just have to make one myself?"
should probably be
"then I just have to make one myself!"
"(other than instant gratification)"
I'm not sure that's what instant gratification is.
"You'll never be able too look at me."
should be
"You'll never be able to look at me." Though I don't quite get it.
"A moment ago it was drag..."
should be
"A moment ago it was "drag"..." or "A moment ago it was "dragged"..."
"and there's a thermometer in that first aid kid."
should be
"and there's a thermometer in that first aid kit."
Then I got another exception.
"I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
While running game code:
File "game/Day5.rpy", line 1233, in script
File "game/Day5.rpy", line 1233, in python
NameError: name 'Gremlins' is not defined
-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------
Full traceback:
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\execution.py", line 265, in run
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\ast.py", line 1374, in execute
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\python.py", line 1009, in py_eval
File "game/Day5.rpy", line 1233, in <module>
NameError: name 'Gremlins' is not defined
Windows-7-6.1.7601-SP1
Ren'Py 6.13.12.1728
The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya 0.1"
I clicked ignore and it skipped everything between "my mother begins her interrogation." and "Ah! Homework! That's it!"
"at least she managed to make a better"
should be
"At least she managed to make a better"
"Like at the end of last may"
should be
"Like at the end of last May"
"Goodnight."
should be
"Good night."
The line
Itsuko "leads the three of us to... the public washrooms?"
should be
"Itsuko leads the three of us to... the public washrooms?" As in, Itsuko's name is outside of the textbox, as if she were saying the words.
"that our fearless leader enjoys?"
should be
"that our fearless leader enjoys."
Kyonko "Eh? Mitsuuru You aren't wearing your outfit, Kyon-chan?"
should be
Kyonko "Eh?"
Mitsuuru "You aren't wearing your outfit, Kyon-chan?"
"Over the course of our above conversation"
should probably be
"Over the course of that conversation"
"I am capable of performing minor modifications like this. They will go unnoticed." should be said by Yuuki, not Yuki
"Itsuko Try stealing my chastity, Asahina-kun I'm certain you won't be able to." should be said by Itsuko, and the word Itsuko should be a part of the dialogue.
"the day was instead, spent observing, our gender-reversed"
should be
"the day was instead spent observing our gender-reversed"
"looking out the window like you pretend you know what you're doing"
should be
"looking out the window like you know what you're doing" or "looking out the window, pretending to know what you're doing"
"there's a couple of the sports clubs practising"
should be
"there's a couple of the sports clubs practicing"
"in lieu of someone would could actually"
should be
"in lieu of someone who could actually"
"we out to get pansy"
should be
"we ought to get pansy"
"that is composed of over half men!"
somehow sounds weird. Maybe "that is composed of over 50% men!"
"God this sucks."
should be
"God, this sucks."
"It's five-thirty, and so is far, far earlier"
is kinda phrased awkwardly. Or maybe it's a typo. Maybe "It's five-thirty, which is far, far earlier"
"from some ignorant relative"
should be
"from some ignorant relative."
"when she frets. Or showing any kind of expression really."
should be
"when she frets. Or shows any kind of expression, really."
""Yes," I hoped that I sounded convincing."
should be
""Yes." I hoped that I sounded convincing."
"So yeah, put it in on the SOS Brigade's top page."
should be
"So yeah, put it on the SOS Brigade's home page."
"It only make him look cuter!"
should be
"It only makes him look cuter!"
"stupid or ignorant enough to."
could just be
"stupid or ignorant enough."
""Yeah, of course." He answers quickly."
should probably be
""Yeah, of course," he answers quickly." Unless Haruki is just making a statement that, in general, he answers questions quickly, in which case the original sentence was correct.
"drinking his teacup for the first time"
should be
"drinking his tea for the first time."
"All you've done all day is drag me around to various stores and bought things"
should be
"All you've done all day is drag me around to various stores and buy things"
"If this is all we're doing to do"
should be
"If this is all we're going to do"
"before she his the ground"
should be
"before she hits the ground"
"she says it's because it's because she"
should be
"she says it's because she
"...You sure, Suzumiya-san?" He asked."
should be
"...You sure, Suzumiya-san?" he asked."
"judging by the look on her face"
should be
"judging by the look on her face."
"just like I planned.
Mitsuuru "Planning what?""
There's a weird tense change. You could change it from "Planning what?" to "Planned?" or "What did you plan?" or something.
"hey Kyon get over here"
should be
"hey, Kyon, get over here"
but it doesn't really matter since he's drunk anyway.
"fragantly cheating"
should be
"flagrantly cheating"
"with pounding headache..."
should be
"with a pounding headache..."
"in the room, okay."
should be
"in the room, okay?
"The second easiest way is to get the victim to lock himself in after you've killed him"
is weird. After you kill someone... aren't they dead? You could say
"The second easiest way is to get the victim to lock himself in after the attack"
"If someone tells you something, don't believe it"
"which means Keiko-san must have been killed after Yutako-san left"
is a weird way to put it. Like I said above, after you kill someone, they're dead. If they're not dead yet, "killed" isn't the right word. Perhaps you could say
"which means Keiko-san must have died after Yutako-san left."
"and two is that, judging by the manner of death, that Keiko-san "
should be
"and two is that, judging by the manner of death, Keiko-san"
"to an deserted mansion"
should be
"to a deserted mansion"
"I've even been on!"
should (probably?) be
"I've ever been on!"
"It felt like cold unwashed vegetables."
Isn't it usually
"It felt like cold washed vegetables."
"I'd never have though you're the type"
should be
"I'd never have thought you the type" or "I'd never have thought you were the type"
"Kyon you had a bunch"
In that line, Kyon's name is inside the textbox with the dialogue instead of above the textbox. Should be
Kyon "You had a bunch"
"M-making a fool of yourself, obviously!"
should be
"M-make a fool of yourself, obviously!"
"So am I just standing"
should be
"So why am I just standing"
"on my list, it would be "the public pool.""
should be
"on my list, "the public pool.""
"He give me a skeptical look."
should be
"He gives me a skeptical look."
"Yuuki and Kozumi-san"
should be
"Yuuki and Koizumi-san"
"Definitely a burning feeling yes."
should be
"Definitely a burning feeling, yes."
"I even a got a frog suit out of it all." I say to myself."
should be
"I even got a frog suit out of it all," I say to myself."
"okay, but, where will we do it?"
should be
"okay, but where will we do it?"
"Well! You've reached the end of the demo. Or, should I say, the end of the demo of the demo (sorry about the lack of images and music and whatnot)."
I got an exception here. Might have something to do with the script saying "BandEnd2" instead of "BadEnd2".
"I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
While running game code:
File "game/Day6.rpy", line 1981, in script
File "game/Day6.rpy", line 1981, in python
NameError: name 'BandEnd2' is not defined
-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------
Full traceback:
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\execution.py", line 265, in run
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\ast.py", line 1374, in execute
File "C:\Users\admin\Desktop\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya (Demo of a Demo)-all\renpy\python.py", line 1009, in py_eval
File "game/Day6.rpy", line 1981, in <module>
NameError: name 'BandEnd2' is not defined
Windows-7-6.1.7601-SP1
Ren'Py 6.13.12.1728
The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya 0.1"
...yeah, when I changed "BandEnd2" to "BadEnd2", it worked. Okay.
Okay, (almost) everything you listed is fixed. I'll work out the kinks on the long lines at another point, and there were one or two of your grammar points I didn't agree with (damned if I can remember what they were, though). I did add a really simplistic conditional in Day 1 for the "horrific ordeal" line, which changes the line to
Quote:
"After that horrific ordeal at breakfast and enduring Itsuko's teasing, I came to class only to be greeted by an over-energetic Haruki, whose enthusiasm is (as always) only exceeded by his complete stupidity."
if you walked up the hill with Itsuko in the previous scene. And yes, I am accepting suggestions on a better version for that.
Oh, and let is a synonym for rent/lease. It's more common in British English than American, though, so which we want to use is up in the air.
__________________
By the book, by hook, by rook,
Shadow takes all, my pet;
My what a strange duet.
Shadow takes all.
I've played a bit of the Demo and to my dissapointment I found myself skipping throught most of the introduction, the green text and the 'Higurashi' bits. These don't feel like the usual lighthearted Haruhi material.
I've played a bit of the Demo and to my dissapointment I found myself skipping throught most of the introduction, the green text and the 'Higurashi' bits. These don't feel like the usual lighthearted Haruhi material.
It's not supposed to be the usual lighthearted Haruhi material. That was the point.
It's something I'm not exactly as enthusiastic about now, though.
I still think the path to genderbend all 11 novels would be the correct course at this time. A lot was done, but I don't think the groups every really got past the 7th novel.
I've played a bit of the Demo and to my dissapointment I found myself skipping throught most of the introduction, the green text and the 'Higurashi' bits. These don't feel like the usual lighthearted Haruhi material.
Although I like it because it's not lighthearted and yet it's still Haruhi-flavored, the reason I put off playing it so long was indeed because the dream intro thing was soo boring. (That's even why I put off reading the script before it was compiled. orz.) I also found myself clicking quickly through the bits with Mr. Fence and the magical kingdom of green (skipping is for chumps) and then when it didn't end quickly I just read the script because I'm supposed to be proofreading (oops).
Speaking of the green text, there's gotta be a better way to do it than that. I don't mind the green text being there, but since Midori talks so often at the start, it's like read what she says, then read the story, then read how she reacts to it. It'd be cool if you could get them to appear concurrently? So that when you click, you see Midori's text and the new dialogue still appears at the bottom? Well, that'd be a bit more trouble...
(Also, I didn't know it was a reference to anything. orz.)
By the way... the first time I played, I didn't write down a lot of the typos thinking, "No one will care but me." So I missed a lot of the initial ones. I'll add some more to my other post in a while... sorry, Scify... maybe I'll put them in a different spoiler? Or make the new ones a different color?
By 'Higurashi' I meant the bits with murder and blood. I'd rather pretend these are not present since these bits radically change the tone of the story. It might work as a culmination or climax (see the 4th novel), but certainly not as dreams or flashbacks/forwards/sidewises.
As far as I can see, Green Text has no truth-value as the Red Text of Umineko had. It's just a way of showing the Green Queen speak. I have no objection to the color, rather to the content. I do not like being taunted, neither do I like the characters being taunted by the 'narrator'. I do not like seeing powers separate from these already established in canon. It's my personal preference, but I also don't like Haruhi/Haruki directly exercising their reality warper powers.
Since I'm at it I'll add the main problem with introduction was it being too long. I don't need to be explained that sliding is rippling. I can get the idea behind it from one or two sentences of explanation and that should be enough.
Speaking of the green text, there's gotta be a better way to do it than that. I don't mind the green text being there, but since Midori talks so often at the start, it's like read what she says, then read the story, then read how she reacts to it. It'd be cool if you could get them to appear concurrently? So that when you click, you see Midori's text and the new dialogue still appears at the bottom? Well, that'd be a bit more trouble...
There probably is, and I'll look into pursuing it if/when I have more to work with. Right now, Midori is just using the built-in <centered> character with a green text option, so it reads through the same as the other characters.
That being said, ultimatemegax sent me a link with the audio files he had, so I'll be looking at those in my spare time and trying to think up how to work them in. Also, brushing up on how to do that beforehand. And I found the link for the background location scouting for the anime, so I'm considering throwing out most of the old images I had and working those in instead (Katawa Shoujo-style, probably).
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By the book, by hook, by rook,
Shadow takes all, my pet;
My what a strange duet.
Shadow takes all.
As far as I can see, Green Text has no truth-value as the Red Text of Umineko had. It's just a way of showing the Green Queen speak. I have no objection to the color, rather to the content. I do not like being taunted, neither do I like the characters being taunted by the 'narrator'. I do not like seeing powers separate from these already established in canon. It's my personal preference, but I also don't like Haruhi/Haruki directly exercising their reality warper powers.
Everything else you said is personal preference too, you know.
Like I said, the original premise was essentially "hey what if we took the Haruhi series and made it as dark as it has the potential to be".
As for powers not established in canon... to be honest I don't even remember the basis of the Green's abilities at this point. I knew once though.
[QUOTE=Kaisos Erranon;4431137]Everything else you said is personal preference too, you know.[/quite]
Quite so. BTW, while it doesn't hit all the sweetspots the core narrative is good and you've gotta appreciate dedicated fanworks like Seitenkan.
hi guys,
anyone found any english translation of taida life spindle from volume 5 onwards? I seen the type setting but would be nice to have the actual translated doujin. Also if som1 can point me to find the english translated version for Tea of the Sagitarus after... the 6th chapter of the series onwards i think. I couldnt find them.
Thannnks
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Hi, translator of Taida Life Spindle here. The typesetter for the doujin mysteriously disappeared a while before, and I don't know how to do the typesetting, so the doujin will just stay as typesetting for now, I guess...
Thanks for your efforts! I realise most of the raws or chinese translated have been removed. If you have the raws from chapter 5 onwards could u post them up? And by type setting is it just translated text thats not been placed onto the doujin?
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2012-11-02, 21:27
That was the point.
BTW, while it doesn't hit all the sweetspots the core narrative is good and you've gotta appreciate dedicated fanworks like Seitenkan.
thanks to Patchy ♥
