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Old 2012-11-20, 22:57   Link #37341
Mr Coin
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Originally Posted by Old_Iron View Post
Glad you enjoyed it. Yuuno/Hayate is really fun to write. And I get to indulge my evil side by inflicting cavities. =3

Were I to slap some continuity onto this, then I'd probably figure it out in some concrete manner. The first thought was Yuuno's lap is simply that comfortable. Another could be even Vita is willing to be treated like a kid.

There was also a part of me thinking along the lines of Vita saying "What's your is mine. And what's mine is also mine." Interpret as you will.
Vita is being a daddy's girl?

What happened to Vita being a Tsundere.

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Originally Posted by bhl88 View Post
There was a Vita x Yuuno moment of victory xD
An awkward Father and daughter insight that the daugther is 400 years older than her father.
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Old 2012-11-20, 23:10   Link #37342
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Originally Posted by Mr Coin View Post
What happened to Vita being a Tsundere.
Vita's a tsundere for Nanoha, not Yuuno. :k
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Old 2012-11-21, 01:17   Link #37343
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Pity the only H fic I saw with Vita (on top) was with Shirou, Ilya and Hayate, and fraggle wrote it.

Now there should be a Vita x Yunno.
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Old 2012-11-22, 10:10   Link #37344
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Originally Posted by Old_Iron View Post
Oh yeah... I write things, don't I? Enjoy the fruits of my lunch break.

Spoiler for A Hard Day's Reward:
Glorious contribution indeed. Nicely done all around, Old_Iron. ^^
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Old 2012-11-22, 21:28   Link #37345
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I was thinking of posting something on here, but was wondering if this one section was a bit much?
Spoiler for questionable:
The problem I have is Caro seems rather clueless or maybe simply too timid, and Erio seems hesitant towards her, so something needs to happen that can not be written off casually, still it has me somewhat worried.
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Old 2012-11-23, 00:39   Link #37346
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^ Don't think so, Caro always been the more forward one about their relationship (pun intended), it would makes sense if Caro also grew quite fast (at least mentally ). fan manga even exaggerate her sexuality for laughs.
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Old 2012-11-23, 19:35   Link #37347
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Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
^ Don't think so, Caro always been the more forward one about their relationship (pun intended), it would makes sense if Caro also grew quite fast (at least mentally ). fan manga even exaggerate her sexuality for laughs.
I might be fuzzy, since I've not seen Strikes in QUITE A WHILE, but from what I remember of canon, not the fan manga because wow, Erio was the one acting with awkwardness of someone thinking about someone that way. Caro invited him to the girl's bath and all that because she DIDN'T think of him that way, I mean why introduce him to the competition if she was playing for keeps. Now the teasing him while picking off his plate is a bit of a mixed signal, I do question that. Still most of the sound stages I know of either back petal or duck that aspect of those two, and Vivid/Force treat them...well almost as nothing at all from the English trans. Anyway that was what I started with, if it completely off base then, I have to rethink this whole thing since Caro's reconsideration of their was sorta big thing in the story.
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Old 2012-11-24, 22:51   Link #37348
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I was once again talking about their romantic relationship in general though.
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Old 2012-11-25, 00:03   Link #37349
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It would seem from your post I am coming off a little strong. I apologize, I simply believe in laying out my line of thought when discussing things. I wish I could refresh my memories, but it's only on youtube in Thai, I don't speak Thai, nor is it on Amazon, so my memory an manga is all I got. I just get the feeling that most people in the Nanohavurse kind of write most of it of as siblings, because they are told these are Fate's kids, and I remember nothing that explicitly shows Caro doesn't think in this regard, her emotions definitely progress beyond this but even at the end of the strikers manga she is hiding behind the sibling card. I welcome evidence to contrary, but maybe we should further discussion to pms,our visitor comments, or the relationship thread.

By the way you never commented on whether the scene summery I posted in spoiler tags was too much. I just wanted something that could not be misinterpreted since as I said by the end of strikers she is still using the sibling card and Erio is shown thinking how good Caro would look in a skirt and deciding to fallow her to home on the range away from Fate, who it is pretty clear he thinks of as a mother. I actually remember Caro referring to Fate as a big sister figure and she MIGHT HAVE referred to the wildlife perverse as home. I mean if it isn't clear to them want they are how are they going to confront their family with this. I doubt Fate thinks of them as couple, if she did I doubt they be allowed out of sight let alone on a remote nature preservation planet. I am actually considering having Caro ask Fate to wave guardianship other her, so clarity is important.
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Old 2012-11-25, 00:51   Link #37350
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Ah, I'm sorry then, I said that it wasn't truly above them assuming the circumstances within the plot are suitable: i.e. in Nanya's BtF, they jumpstart the relationship for the sake of Lutecia.

So the innocent sleeping scene turned awkward is inherently logical
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Old 2012-11-25, 22:19   Link #37351
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I've been working on a quote for a character, any suggestions on how to improve it are welcome.
TL;DR…
NanoFate, don't open if you absolutely cannot tolerate the pairing
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
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Old 2012-11-26, 12:29   Link #37352
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I am not sure of the context, but I am going to assume someone is flaunting how she was born and saying do you care what happens to these people. Assuming that is true then the theme of life is carried over from context and doesn't need the linkage I would otherwise suggest.

However, since the other theme is finding that one person, I would omit she and use "that person" it just carries better, she limits it a gender thing and while it is a yuri couple, I would like to think you wrote their relationship as going beyond the physical. I for one like the couple because they complete each other on a personal level.

Well without context that's all I got could give me the name of the fic I am a big fan of the dramatic.
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Old 2012-11-26, 18:33   Link #37353
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It's not based on any fanfic, it's based on all animated seasons of Nanoha since Fate has been shaken by Project F in all of them. In StrikerS Nanoha was not one of the reasons she shook it off but it still showed that she had insecurities. Therefore, I'm actually saying the opposite, someone is brooding over they were born and think they are inferior but there is a person out there who does not care and still loves them. Because of that, they eventually stop having all the insecurities. This can be seen as Fate speaking from a personal point of view.

I thought that the 'For me' in front would be sufficient to say that being homosexual applies to her and need not apply to everybody. If you still feel that it limits the quote, I'll change it.
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オークシリスム
3rd Yuri Division
Characters are from Madoka Magica, Symphogear and Sakura Trick.
Please see the uncompressed version on the right.
Click this for my gif request thread.Max quality version
I take gif requests here.
Please read the opening post (revised as of 22/8/2014).

Last edited by Auxilism; 2012-11-26 at 19:05.
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Old 2012-11-26, 21:06   Link #37354
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkhalo191 View Post
I thought that the 'For me' in front would be sufficient to say that being homosexual applies to her and need not apply to everybody. If you still feel that it limits the quote, I'll change it.
It still kind of says she only ever consider one half of the universe, you already have the broadest term possible why introduce another, self-limiting term at all, especially at the end. It sound like proposal or alter words don't limit it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by darkhalo191 View Post
It's not based on any fanfic, it's based on all animated seasons of Nanoha since Fate has been shaken by Project F in all of them. In StrikerS Nanoha was not one of the reasons she shook it off but it still showed that she had insecurities. Therefore, I'm actually saying the opposite, someone is brooding over they were born and think they are inferior but there is a person out there who does not care and still loves them. Because of that, they eventually stop having all the insecurities. This can be seen as Fate speaking from a personal point of view.
I understand she has had these insecurities, I am fan that part of her character, but the point that was trying to make who is she speaking to in context of the quote? Is it freestanding or is it part of a story to set it up. The first part is key to the message, but with out context it is completely dependent on knowing Fate's backstory to give meaning, where as a good quote is both applicable and reviling about the person that said it.

If I said "We may have just been a product, a replacement, or even just a tool" would that say anything applicable or reviling? I am not actually sure that sentence expresses a complete thought, you have a period on the first line. Every part of the quote must link to the point of the you are trying to make, the start should introduce a hint of that idea. Is it "No matter how life starts" or "No matter what people want us to be"? without some tie to life, love, or beginnings this part just drags a good quote down

I hope I am not being too critical, I am a student history and too a lesser extent literature quote are important to me and I like the character, plus it is a good finish with a somewhat rough start.
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Old 2012-11-26, 21:32   Link #37355
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Hey guys, remember me?

Okay, I have to apologize.

This took me way, WAY longer than it should have.

So, I can't say when i'll update again, but I'll try to be faster. Between being heavily distracted and just not having the energy to write until just before work (like 10 minutes before I have to leave) or sleep (same), it's hard to write.

That being said, it's not dead, just hibernating.

ViVid

Revolution 1-5

Revolution 6

Revolution 7

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Revolution 9

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Revolution 10:
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Old 2012-11-26, 22:17   Link #37356
Auxilism
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Not at all, I welcome it as long as it makes sense.

I'm not making a whole fic (or even a one-shot) out of this, so I guess it's freestanding. Here's a revision, I'm trying to include what people from Project F thought of themselves from what we've seen so that it would have the biggest impact if Fate said it since she was the first.
TL;DR…
NanoFate, don't open if you absolutely cannot tolerate the pairing
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
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オークシリスム
3rd Yuri Division
Characters are from Madoka Magica, Symphogear and Sakura Trick.
Please see the uncompressed version on the right.
Click this for my gif request thread.Max quality version
I take gif requests here.
Please read the opening post (revised as of 22/8/2014).
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Old 2012-11-26, 23:10   Link #37357
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Glad to hear. I quite like it.
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Old 2012-11-27, 04:12   Link #37358
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Hey guys, remember me?

Okay, I have to apologize.

This took me way, WAY longer than it should have.

So, I can't say when i'll update again, but I'll try to be faster. Between being heavily distracted and just not having the energy to write until just before work (like 10 minutes before I have to leave) or sleep (same), it's hard to write.

That being said, it's not dead, just hibernating.

ViVid

Revolution 1-5

Revolution 6

Revolution 7

Revolution 8

Revolution 9

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Revolution 10:
Spoiler for MST3k Review:
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Old 2012-11-27, 21:40   Link #37359
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Were there ever any decent fanfics that started with the premise: what if Nanoha was a male, and proceeded from there?

Because, it just occured to me that the main dividing line between Nanoha and a Shounen is the fact that the Nanoha-verse is overwhelmingly filled with females.
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Old 2012-11-27, 21:58   Link #37360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by novalysis View Post
Were there ever any decent fanfics that started with the premise: what if Nanoha was a male, and proceeded from there?
No, because a bunch of people like their NanoFate, het is ew and most of them don't like Yaoi.

There's your answer.
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