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Old 2012-12-11, 08:09   Link #161
NoemiChan
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I have arguments with my parents some years back and suicide came on my mind thrice. But hey, I'm not stupid to waste my life... I'm not even sure that there is life after death. Plus I'll be missing a lot of animes after that... hehehe. Plus, I've never had as girlfriend yet. And I want to have a child, be a father.. and be the best that I can be in the future.

What would have happen to the people that I would have help if I died, it''ll just add up to my guilt..

Suicide is for people who are too weak to face the truth. As if they're the most unlucky person in the world...
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Old 2012-12-11, 08:13   Link #162
bigdeal000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hasumi View Post
^ What blurs the line between nothing serious and fatal?

You know, before it actually happens.
Hmm...the first sign would be an increase in number of times you think about it. Ok, it came to you, once or twice, you took it as a joke, but a third time is starting to become a problem. You can't just ignore it anymore and think it's a joke then force yourself to stop there, if you can, good, if not, then do what TRL said, ask for help. But the idea that even the slightest hint is a problem is an exaggeration IMO.
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Old 2012-12-11, 09:15   Link #163
SaintessHeart
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Suicidal thoughts isn't serious if you actually stop paying attention to how tough it is and start focusing on the problems.

Had plenty of those back in school when I was a bully victim. It went out of hand when I went to see a counsellor, after some discussion that pinned down the real "problems", it became "homicidal" thoughts. Biology textbooks taught me that kidneys are the collection of major blood vessels other than the heart, so sometimes I see that bully's back turned, I have this urge to just stab him in the kidney and let him bleed to death.

I am glad that I have friends outside of school who are equally outcasted, they are a source of companionship when my dad lost his job after his company got taken over and my mum wasn't specialised to do anything - the two just vented their spleen at me since my grades went from top 10 to subpar due to bullying and having Mussolini's incarnate as my principal (fat, facist and FUBAR).

Having friends do help. Just look for them. They are somewhere out there.
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When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2012-12-11, 09:38   Link #164
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^ Is that the reason why you become lolicon

On topic. I always depressed. but i just my personality heh. I am Pessimistic in nature.
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Old 2012-12-11, 09:48   Link #165
SaintessHeart
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Originally Posted by RRW View Post
^ Is that the reason why you become lolicon
Actually kinda. An otaku psychologist I once spoke to suggested that the lolita complex stemmed from the lack of affirmative female interaction during the mentality development years in middle/high school. Their minds just get stuck that lolis are the best kind of girls because they are cute and want nothing more than that kind if innocence.

And no, I am not a lolicon - I just have the big-brother protector's complex (aniki hogosha). Besides, I appreciate bishoujos too.

Quote:
On topic. I always depressed. but i just my personality heh. I am Pessimistic in nature.
It is better to be a pessimist than to be an optimist. At least you don't do nothing or the bare minimum and hope for the best; pessimists don't hope for the best, but whether they are confident or not, they just do it anyway.
__________________

When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:03   Link #166
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Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Actually kinda. An otaku psychologist I once spoke to suggested that the lolita complex stemmed from the lack of affirmative female interaction during the mentality development years in middle/high school. Their minds just get stuck that lolis are the best kind of girls because they are cute and want nothing more than that kind if innocence.

And no, I am not a lolicon - I just have the big-brother protector's complex (aniki hogosha). Besides, I appreciate bishoujos too.
Stop try to spin it and admit it!


Quote:
It is better to be a pessimist than to be an optimist. At least you don't do nothing or the bare minimum and hope for the best; pessimists don't hope for the best, but whether they are confident or not, they just do it anyway.
Which is a problem for me.

you can say i have multiple personalities. one is pessimist me and other is optimist.

and this personality is what make me depresed
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:05   Link #167
Azuma Denton
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Having friends do help. Just look for them. They are somewhere out there.
This !!! Quoted for truth...



But how can we change people thinking that they are alone? Most of the bully victim or depressed people doesnt blend well with people. What i notice is, when you start going melancholic, well you are in your own world.
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:10   Link #168
SaintessHeart
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Originally Posted by RRW View Post
Stop try to spin it and admit it!
You are overgeneralising it. The term "lolicon" is a cliche, possibly a misnomer. There are pedophiles, sure, but not all the people who like young girls are them. The general term for these people are lolicons, but it has been taken out of context and had become synonymous in usage, which it isn't supposed to be.

Quote:
Which is a problem for me.

you can say i have multiple personalities. one is pessimist me and other is optimist.

and this personality is what make me depresed
Have an aim in life?

I don't know, having mixed with people who actually suffer from depression, I find that these people have this loop which they find themselves trapped in. To make things worse, borderline-depressed people are taught not to associate themselves with depressed people so as not to make themselves depressed.

That is delusional. The only way out of depression is to understand it, not to dissociate oneself from it. Speaking to people with similar circumstances, or have suffered such episodes before, is a good way out because it pools heads together to find a way out. Of course, there are some who need that regimented and harsh push to snap out of it - hence the existence of organisations such as the French Foreign Legion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Azuma Denton View Post
This !!! Quoted for truth...

But how can we change people thinking that they are alone? Most of the bully victim or depressed people doesnt blend well with people. What i notice is, when you start going melancholic, well you are in your own world.
First, you turn the suicidal victim into a homicidal victim. Give him/her the Anarchist's Cookbook, The Ultimate Sniper, and Improvised Munitions Handbook - let imagination devise "defensive countermeasures" for the person, then pull the person back by highlighting karma and murder is wrong through moral high ground (if everyone else is a bitch, it doesn't mean you have to be one too).

It worked for me.

To be serious, I think that the basic premises of depression from bullying comes from three things :

1. The perception that he/she is unable to defend him/herself (really? A pen is mightier than a sword! Go for the kidney!)
2. The lack of support (you don't really need any when you need to kill someone. Need petrol for your molotov? Go steal it from the nearest carpark!)
3. The lack of engagement to bring forth understanding (the value of human life is arbitary. How much value you give the person, is how much that person is worth. Who cares about the values other people give?)

Overall, it still boils down to decisiveness. Society ritually exploits the indecisive to its advantage - there are no hands to help in especially fast paced ones because there is no time for the wannabe helpers to even make the decision to help.

However, I would definitely attest to this : if you can survive the extreme of depression (which I would say "end-stage", the planning of suicide/homicide has taken place), you will be incredibly strong mentally as compared to those who have bullied or forsaken you - it is the same as cheating death and for the rest of your life, you will never fear it as much again.
__________________

When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.

Last edited by SaintessHeart; 2012-12-11 at 10:24.
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:18   Link #169
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Originally Posted by Azuma Denton View Post
But how can we change people thinking that they are alone? Most of the bully victim or depressed people doesnt blend well with people. What i notice is, when you start going melancholic, well you are in your own world.
the way I handle this type of person is by...."bully" them!

I mean soft bully like poke or small insult and you do it with friendly smile. basically attract their attentions.

Then try talk to him/her. usually the reason why they are lonely is lack of communication. talk about hobby/favorite subject to make him happy. ask help if needed

after that i just observer him/her from far to see the progress. if the problem persistent. do some background check

well this what i do when i am in school
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:24   Link #170
Azuma Denton
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Originally Posted by RRW View Post
the way I handle this type of person is by...."bully" them!

I mean soft bully like poke or small insult and you do it with friendly smile. basically attract their attentions.

Then try talk to him/her. usually the reason why they are lonely is lack of communication. talk about hobby/favorite subject to make him happy. ask help if needed

after that i just observer him/her from far to see the progress. if the problem persistent. do some background check

well this what i do when i am in school
I agree with your way. That's what my boss do to me too when he noticed i am depressed at my job...

But well, it's not that easy.
Usually depressed people have AT Field around them and prefer that they are being left alone.
So yeah, it's more trial and error if we wanna to approach people like that...
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:26   Link #171
willx
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Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
It is better to be a pessimist than to be an optimist. At least you don't do nothing or the bare minimum and hope for the best; pessimists don't hope for the best, but whether they are confident or not, they just do it anyway.
Don't realists have any place here?

Well, since we're talking about sadness and pessimism.. When I was much younger I was very rage-filled and angsty (like any other teenager) and railed at the inherent unfairness in life. I was bullied and then bullied others in turn.

You get older though and attain a broader perspective. The world is a BIG place and things are so much more complicated and interconnected, even in subtle ways, than most people notice at first. You see private jets and million dollar transactions. You see people living in desperate poverty just a short distance from glamorous vacation spots. The beauty and simplicity of a cool spring breeze and the wafting scent of flowers and falling leaves and cherry blossoms.

So life is a mixed bag. I remember just 2-3 years ago my fiance and I were sitting out in a courtyard having brunch and I was feeling a tad melancholy and she turned to me, looked me in the face and said:
"..Your eyes look like the world is not enough."

I immediately perked up and gave her a giant smile. I like being cool, y'know.

Outlook remains uncertain
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:27   Link #172
mystogan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RRW View Post
the way I handle this type of person is by...."bully" them!

I mean soft bully like poke or small insult and you do it with friendly smile. basically attract their attentions.

Then try talk to him/her. usually the reason why they are lonely is lack of communication. talk about hobby/favorite subject to make him happy. ask help if needed

after that i just observer him/her from far to see the progress. if the problem persistent. do some background check

well this what i do when i am in school
but this can only happen if the victim has such nice people around him, which mostly isn't the case that's why the particular person becomes a victim of other people's abuses in the first place
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:29   Link #173
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Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Have an aim in life?

I don't know, having mixed with people who actually suffer from depression, I find that these people have this loop which they find themselves trapped in. To make things worse, borderline-depressed people are taught not to associate themselves with depressed people so as not to make themselves depressed.

That is delusional. The only way out of depression is to understand it, not to dissociate oneself from it. Speaking to people with similar circumstances, or have suffered such episodes before, is a good way out because it pools heads together to find a way out. Of course, there are some who need that regimented and harsh push to snap out of it - hence the existence of organisations such as the French Foreign Legion.
I am not as bad as you think really. I am still enjoy my life. There is some problem in my life but I think I can solve it.

My depression basically come from my personality really. I am easily confuse and panicking even if it just small stuff like losing my watch. But at same time I can handle that stuff really well and still enjoy my life.

It just conflict between "positive me" and "Negative me" that cause the problem
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:31   Link #174
SaintessHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azuma Denton View Post
But well, it's not that easy.
Usually depressed people have AT Field around them and prefer that they are being left alone.
So yeah, it's more trial and error if we wanna to approach people like that...
There is one effective way that is used on me by a really good friend.

He just refuse to leave me alone that day and just beat the crap out of me, broke my glasses and kept shouting and shaking me by the collar until I bruised his ribs with a kick.

It is the same for all of them : they are trapped in a psychological loop that will need some hard knock to break them out of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by willx View Post
So life is a mixed bag. I remember just 2-3 years ago my fiance and I were sitting out in a courtyard having brunch and I was feeling a tad melancholy and she turned to me, looked me in the face and said:
"..Your eyes look like the world is not enough."
Well that abovementioned guy told me this :

"You are a dragon year baby who made it through GEP*! Why don't you use that fucking head of yours and start fighting back?"

Sometimes, it is all these flowery phrases that give us the meaning we are looking for in life. It never ceases to amuse me how corny they can be to most and gratifying to the certain few who need that particular piece of puzzle in their life.

* - Gifted Education Programme. Just another elitist series to tests administrated by our overrated education system to sieve the "brightest" from the "normal" kids. Eventually it was scrapped when they realised that intelligence is worthless when the kids are not taught how to use it. And they don't want to teach the kids how to use their heads because it will lead to civil strife - ever wondered why critical thinking is lacking in the education system?
__________________

When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:33   Link #175
Azuma Denton
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
First, you turn the suicidal victim into a homicidal victim. Give him/her the Anarchist's Cookbook, The Ultimate Sniper, and Improvised Munitions Handbook - let imagination devise "defensive countermeasures" for the person, then pull the person back by highlighting karma and murder is wrong through moral high ground (if everyone else is a bitch, it doesn't mean you have to be one too).

It worked for me.

To be serious, I think that the basic premises of depression from bullying comes from three things :

1. The perception that he/she is unable to defend him/herself (really? A pen is mightier than a sword! Go for the kidney!)
2. The lack of support (you don't really need any when you need to kill someone. Need petrol for your molotov? Go steal it from the nearest carpark!)
3. The lack of engagement to bring forth understanding (the value of human life is arbitary. How much value you give the person, is how much that person is worth. Who cares about the values other people give?)
HOLY !!!
Now i really grateful not to be ended lifeless at Geylang alley after meeting you...

Quote:
Overall, it still boils down to decisiveness. Society ritually exploits the indecisive to its advantage - there are no hands to help in especially fast paced ones because there is no time for the wannabe helpers to even make the decision to help.

However, I would definitely attest to this : if you can survive the extreme of depression (which I would say "end-stage", the planning of suicide/homicide has taken place), you will be incredibly strong mentally as compared to those who have bullied or forsaken you - it is the same as cheating death and for the rest of your life, you will never fear it as much again.
Like this.



Hmm, another question...
What kind of song is trending now in your country? Is it song about positive value (friendship, love blooms, youth) or song about depressed situation (broken heart, betrayal, solitude)?
Sometimes i wonder, if this affect general mood of the people?
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:34   Link #176
bigdeal000
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My father noticed some time ago that I'm a pessimist. He became worried so he wanted to help. Since we live in different towns he sent me an encouraging mail with advice on how to keep myself optimistic. One of them was: "Don't talk with pessimistic people. They absorb all your energy. Talking to them is like shooting yourself in the foot." Whatever effect the previous advice had, it all disappeared right there. Right, so I'm supposed to make more friends, but then again I'm shooting them in the foot? Ain't I a great friend At the time it annoyed me, now I find it funny
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:34   Link #177
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Originally Posted by Azuma Denton View Post
I agree with your way. That's what my boss do to me too when he noticed i am depressed at my job...

But well, it's not that easy.
Usually depressed people have AT Field around them and prefer that they are being left alone.
So yeah, it's more trial and error if we wanna to approach people like that...
Usually I just keep annoy them (i.e. glaring) until they talk

Observe what he do, comment of what he doing etc. he will talk at certain point


Quote:
Originally Posted by mystogan View Post
but this can only happen if the victim has such nice people around him, which mostly isn't the case that's why the particular person becomes a victim of other people's abuses in the first place
then why dont become a nice person to him then?
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:49   Link #178
SaintessHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azuma Denton View Post
HOLY !!!
Now i really grateful not to be ended lifeless at Geylang alley after meeting you...
Sume-nee will do that to you. I won't.

Quote:
Hmm, another question...
What kind of song is trending now in your country? Is it song about positive value (friendship, love blooms, youth) or song about depressed situation (broken heart, betrayal, solitude)?
Sometimes i wonder, if this affect general mood of the people?
Actually I think it DOES. Entertainment is an attraction to fill the voids of people's hearts - that is why it is a huge industry. The world is never enough for anyone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigdeal000 View Post
My father noticed some time ago that I'm a pessimist. He became worried so he wanted to help. Since we live in different towns he sent me an encouraging mail with advice on how to keep myself optimistic. One of them was: "Don't talk with pessimistic people. They absorb all your energy. Talking to them is like shooting yourself in the foot." Whatever effect the previous advice had, it all disappeared right there. Right, so I'm supposed to make more friends, but then again I'm shooting them in the foot? Ain't I a great friend At the time it annoyed me, now I find it funny
That is ridiculous. I prefer pessimists to optimists because they can see holes and flaws in everything - it is just that they are not engaged in discussions to patch those holes. They need the irritating hard-charging idealists who slog their beliefs through, regardless of those people who become offended by their actions (usually lazy/carefree pragmatists or idealists on the other side who don't agree with them) to lead them and drag them along on unicorn rides.

Optimists are just of delusional self-gratifying dipshits who put blankets over their heads and tell themselves that the world is okay - religious practioners of the mantra "ignorance is bliss". Unfortunately they make up the majority of the world population so we can't just put them all to the gas chamber.

I am a pragmatist; used to be a pessimist but I decided to just set goals and push forward. That "do your best and prepare for the worst" mentality had me marked as a pessimist many times, but it has been ridiculously effective because the preparation for the worst always gave me a backup plan or two.
__________________

When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:50   Link #179
mystogan
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RRW View Post
then why dont become a nice person to him then?
that i can't because mostly it is me who is the victim, and i don't mostly find anyone in need of any comforting
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Old 2012-12-11, 10:58   Link #180
Eragon
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A way(or rather my way)to take your mind off depressing thoughts or stop being an emo bitch is to go to an open place in the night, look at sky and ask yourself this - Wtf is the point of my life? I'm an insignificant being living on this insignificant planet, which revolves round an insignificant star, which is part of an insigficant galaxy. No one gives a damn if the earth vanished this moment.
When I think like that, my problems seem so petty that I feel stupid for brooding over them.
Of course this could also result in one getting even more depressed, in which case I am not responsible for any collatral damage caused because of this advise.
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