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Old 2012-12-22, 20:22   Link #38881
Eratas123
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First step to imitating Cecilia: Wearing impractical uniforms and making shite cooking!
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Old 2012-12-22, 20:26   Link #38882
demino_hellsin
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Don't forget the laugh and overbearing pervy personality.

EDIT: Also, drill hair.
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Old 2012-12-22, 20:35   Link #38883
Eratas123
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And the underwear, don't forget the black, lacy underwear:/ I jsut dread the day I have to make the Tatenashi chapter.
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Old 2012-12-22, 21:48   Link #38884
StratoSpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
Dude, when are we going to see the whole re-make posted?
I'm working with some inconsistencies in the past chapters, it'll be up once I reviewed all ten chapters of the first arc and everything's in line.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Dang. I was expectring a mutoryu ):
You mean this?
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Old 2012-12-22, 22:27   Link #38885
demino_hellsin
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Nah, was thinking more like katanagatari's kyutoryu or Zoro's awesome swordless tatsumaki during the davy back fight.
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Old 2012-12-22, 22:39   Link #38886
ZeroXSEED
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*Materialize*

What.

BTW, IS fic progress is halted for a while, will post what finished soon.

*Lurking again*
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Old 2012-12-22, 22:47   Link #38887
demino_hellsin
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Out of juice?
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Old 2012-12-22, 22:58   Link #38888
StratoSpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Nah, was thinking more like katanagatari's kyutoryu or Zoro's awesome swordless tatsumaki during the davy back fight.
That would've ended the fight in an instant. D=

And we don't even know if the Uchigane's armor could even withstand such blow in the first place.

Never mind the victim on the receiving end, the concern lies with the one dishing out the attack with a risk of shattering the forearm armors while executing that move.
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Old 2012-12-22, 23:30   Link #38889
demino_hellsin
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which makes it even moar epic XD

then again, too much epic at the start isn't a good thing.
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Old 2012-12-22, 23:45   Link #38890
DarkJak2050
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
I'm working with some inconsistencies in the past chapters, it'll be up once I reviewed all ten chapters of the first arc and everything's in line.
Okay. And here's another bit I have.

Spoiler for Manned Machines:


I might've gotten the honorifics wrong with the Canon characters. But my main concern is them being in character...
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Old 2012-12-22, 23:57   Link #38891
ZeroXSEED
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Out of juice?
Nope, switched flavor for a while.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
Okay. And here's another bit I have.

Spoiler for Manned Machines:


I might've gotten the honorifics wrong with the Canon characters. But my main concern is them being in character...
10/10
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Old 2012-12-23, 09:51   Link #38892
Eratas123
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@ Senpai - Draft.

Spoiler:


Please give honest comments. It took me a while to get used to fight scenes.
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Old 2012-12-23, 10:54   Link #38893
demino_hellsin
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Welcome to america.
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Old 2012-12-23, 11:23   Link #38894
Eratas123
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@ Demi - The heck?
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Old 2012-12-23, 11:28   Link #38895
demino_hellsin
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That's all I can say about the draft.
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Old 2012-12-23, 11:50   Link #38896
Eratas123
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Uh.....it doesn't take place in America. It's actually near Asia and the Indian Ocean.
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Old 2012-12-23, 11:54   Link #38897
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My comment has absolutely nothing to do with the location XD
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Old 2012-12-23, 12:43   Link #38898
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Senpai - Draft.

Spoiler:


Please give honest comments. It took me a while to get used to fight scenes.
To be honest, the fight scene are good, very realistic. This reminds me to Hawke's stories in his blog, especially the newer ones.

My criticism, if anything, has nothing to do with quality, it's very excellent and well written. However, as the story progress, it's became less and less anime-like, see below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
My comment has absolutely nothing to do with the location XD
I think because it feels like something out of Western Action Thriller.
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Old 2012-12-23, 19:17   Link #38899
demino_hellsin
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Nailed it. The more you go along, the more it becomes like gears of war and warhammer 40k in terms of relatable brutality. Not gonna hate on it but not my cup of tea.
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Old 2012-12-23, 19:39   Link #38900
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Nailed it. The more you go along, the more it becomes like gears of war and warhammer 40k in terms of relatable brutality. Not gonna hate on it but not my cup of tea.
Only the darker part though.

The more lighthearted part is pure WAFF and LOL out of shojo comedy, which is good for balancing purposes
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