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Old 2013-01-12, 11:55   Link #261
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
That user should be correct. All words in a title are capitalised for...presentation's sake I guess? I mean, you would write it as My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute, not My little sister can't be this cute.
Most company names don't capitalise the 'and' though.


Quote:
You mentioned dual-wielding earlier, Duke. If you've played Halo before, I guess the best way to describe this is twin energy swords?
But he's using shields, which are an entirely different skill set. While a sword requires you to twist and turn your wrist, fighting offensively with a shield means your wrist is locked for most of the time. That means he wouldn't have been able to develop sword skills that are on par with Blue Knight.

Quote:
So have I doomed my OC to death? Or should I take advantage of this ambiguity and design a good end for TP? ):
Unfortunately, I think if you would like your story to occur in canon then your OC has to die, as if it was possible for uninfection to occur without uninstallation, then Niko would surely have opted for that.
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Old 2013-01-12, 12:03   Link #262
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
But he's using shields, which are an entirely different skill set. While a sword requires you to twist and turn your wrist, fighting offensively with a shield means your wrist is locked for most of the time. That means he wouldn't have been able to develop sword skills that are on par with Blue Knight.



Unfortunately, I think if you would like your story to occur in canon then your OC has to die, as if it was possible for uninfection to occur without uninstallation, then Niko would surely have opted for that.
It's true that the wrist is important in sword fights. I was thinking more along the lines of Crow's Laser Sword...a lot bigger.

His shields are not as heavy as GG's, just hardened slabs of metal. I still don't know how to put it but maybe I'll actually make a model of it or something in place of drawings. I can't draw to save my life. ):
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Old 2013-01-12, 12:06   Link #263
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
It's true that the wrist is important in sword fights. I was thinking more along the lines of Crow's Laser Sword...a lot bigger.

His shields are not as heavy as GG's, just hardened slabs of metal. I still don't know how to put it but maybe I'll actually make a model of it or something in place of drawings. I can't draw to save my life. ):
Crow's laser sword is a completely different style in that it's more of a shooting attack than a slashing attack. The blade materializes for a few seconds before disappearing.

Hardened slabs of metal still won't allow for someone to learn such advanced sword skills though. A sword definitely feels different from a shield, due to both weapons being of completely different shape and weight in some cases.
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Old 2013-01-12, 12:08   Link #264
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 20
Looks like I have to make TP extremely proficient at wielding the Disaster's sword thern..
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Old 2013-01-12, 12:18   Link #265
Orange Duke
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Do note though that the 3rd CD utilizes a Dual Sword style, so he'll either wield the Disaster Sword + another sword or two completely different swords. Either way, he'll have to start with two swords since both are completely different sword styles.
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Old 2013-01-12, 12:22   Link #266
Tusjecht
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Man...I'll have my work cut out for me. Last post for today for me.
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Old 2013-01-13, 03:02   Link #267
Masuzu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
That user should be correct. All words in a title are capitalised for...presentation's sake I guess? I mean, you would write it as My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute, not My little sister can't be this cute.
Absolutely not, there are certain words that can and can't be capitalised.

You would not capitalise 'and' unless it were the first or last word in a title as it is not and does not function as a noun, pronoun, adjective, verb, adverb, or subordinate conjunction.

'And' is a coordinate conjunction and is thus not capitalised.
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Old 2013-01-13, 15:51   Link #268
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Chapter 5: Revelation

Renji stood in front of room A-6. Though he wasn't fully sure whether he could trust Black Lotus, an alliance with her was his best chance at achieving his goal. Bringing up his left hand, he stared at the orange wristband that he had always worn for years, every day, without fail. It was the exact same pure shade of orange as his avatar, and upon it, the words "オレンジ色の王" were inscribed. It had been a gift from his friends, a sign of their well wishes. Even well before the existence of the Seven Kings of Pure Colour, Burst Linkers already had an idea of what they deemed to be a 'King'. More than once, Orange Duke had heard the term used on himself.

"A king who couldn't even protect his kingdom. What a joke..."

A lot had happened in the few years that he had been away.

Taking a deep breath, Renji slid the door open.

Renji was only expecting Kuroyukihime to be in the room, so when he saw three other individuals, he was slightly surprised. Sliding the door shut behind him, Renji strode confidently towards the table the group had gathered around. The room was like any of the other facility rooms in the school, with the standard plain white furnishing and walls. On the side of the table, Renji noticed that an empty chair had been laid out for him. Taking his seat, Renji gave a slight nod to everyone in the room as a form of thanks.

"Okay, now that everybody's here, shall we start?

Allow me to introduce myself, Yamamoto-san. I am Kuroyukihime, vice-president of the student council and controller of the avatar Black Lotus. I spoke to you yesterday."

Renji had barely been at Umesato for a few days and did not actually know who was the student council vice-president, but he was able to recognise Kuroyukihime by her voice.

"Arita Haruyuki, controller of the avatar Silver Crow. Glad we met, Yamamoto-san."

In his time spent in the Accelerated World, Renji learned that outer appearance rarely mirrored one's soul, thus he was not the least bit surprised at this declaration.

"Mayuzumi Takumu, controller of the avatar Cyan Pile. Nice to meet you, Yamamoto-san."

"Hmmm. Hakase-kun."

"Kurashima Chiyuri, controller of the avatar Lime Bell. Let's be friends."

Guessing it was his turn, Renji stood up.

"Yamamoto Renji, but you can call me Ren."

There was no need to tell everyone his avatar name, considering how obvious it was.

"Now that we're done with the introductions, let us move on to the discussion.

More than two months ago, a malicious organisation who makes use of Brain Burst for evil purposes, the Acceleration Research Group, declared their identity as a legion and took control of the Suginami territory, which originally belonged to us, the black legion Nega Nebulous.

Though we have tried taking our territory back, the Acceleration Research Group has numerous formidable avatars on their side, including their vice-president, Black Vice who recently ascended to level 9. You mentioned that your goal was to erase Vice and take control of the Acceleration Research Group. Before we embark on this alliance, I need you to explain why you have a need to do this so that I may ascertain whether it is wise for us to help you."

Giving a nod signalling he understood, Renji started his explanation.

"Back when the Accelerated World was still young, I established the first legion, Milky Way. Dedicated to helping other avatars, any request no matter how small or large was accepted. The only catch was that you would have to join the legion and only had the option of leaving after helping another avatar. One of the avatars we helped was Vice.

He came to us, low on points, asking for help in Enemy hunting so that he could bring his points back up into the safe zone. Had I knew that something like this would happen back then, I would have left the bastard to rot and die. After granting his request, he was grateful and stayed on in the legion, even after fulfilling the requirement of helping another avatar. Taking note of his exceptional skills at organization and planning, I promoted him to be one of my lieutenants. When I left Brain Burst in order to try and lead a proper life, I left control of the legion to Vice, thinking I could trust him.

Yet today, I come back to see my legion desecrated, my hopes and dreams perverted by the bastard.

That's right. What you know as the Acceleration Research Group, is Milky Way."

Last edited by Orange Duke; 2013-01-18 at 21:22.
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Old 2013-01-14, 02:06   Link #269
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 20
I sense a plot failure here. After the Pure Colour Kings revealed the sudden death rule, no one would dare to advance to level 9 anymore since a single duel against another level 9 would result in BB uninstallation. Black Vise is at level 8, and while I'm pretty sure he's been there long enough to accumulate enough points for 9, he's safely remaining at 8. That's why he can hold off Lotus in Ep. 24 without much fear of losing.

Quote:
"Hmmm. Hakase-kun."
What's this doing here?

And canon-wise, White Cosmos, most probably an originator, is the ARG's president. How she got there, it's anybody's guess. It's more of a note that a comment since maybe you'd explain later that Vise brought in Cosmos as president later.

Little question here. Vice or Vise? Because the first one sounds wrong :P
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Old 2013-01-14, 02:13   Link #270
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
Do note though that the 3rd CD utilizes a Dual Sword style, so he'll either wield the Disaster Sword + another sword or two completely different swords. Either way, he'll have to start with two swords since both are completely different sword styles.
I think I've got a solution here.

Cyan Pile is supposed to be a close-range avatar, so Taku's IS skill was to transform his pile driver into a two-handed sword.

I think that if I let Protector do the same, by changing his left shield into a one-handed sword, and while raging around as CD3, equip the Disaster's sword as a one-handed sword in his right, we'll have a dual-wielding avatar that follows canon.

Furthermore, it's a nice coincidence. Turquoise is one part blue and one part green: even when not as CD, Protector will be having a sword and a shield: close-range and defense.

Any doubts or queries?
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Old 2013-01-14, 06:15   Link #271
MeisterBabylon
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I do kill OCs, when there is a reason. I used to kill OCs just for character progression, but after the 11th death I think the shock value is lost.

Best kill: Love interest that is also loved by the readers. The outpouring of grief was delicious. Though back then I had already planned her death from chapter one.

All this said and done, it is the story which dictates the pacing and the body count. In a grimdark plot where is only emo, I let the blood flow. But if I were going for ridiculously over the top campy, there would be no room for such a thing as friendship either befriends you or blasts you to bits and then befriends you!

For AW, I've kept deaths to a minimal. Outside of Gold Cub's implied demise as his disease reaches his central nervous system, and the [Disconnection Syndrome] arc, no one died.
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Old 2013-01-14, 07:46   Link #272
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
I do kill OCs, when there is a reason. I used to kill OCs just for character progression, but after the 11th death I think the shock value is lost.

Best kill: Love interest that is also loved by the readers. The outpouring of grief was delicious. Though back then I had already planned her death from chapter one.

For AW, I've kept deaths to a minimal. Outside of Gold Cub's implied demise as his disease reaches his central nervous system, and the [Disconnection Syndrome] arc, no one died.
Is this fanfic somewhere? I'd like to read it for inspiration. My OC will be the 3rd CD who is supposed to get his BB uninstalled by Blue Knight in sword combat.
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Old 2013-01-14, 08:09   Link #273
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 20
Okay, I took some time to quickly piece together a model of the shields TP uses:

Pic 1:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...HvJWITPcg/edit

This shows both shields. Ruler is in centimetres, just for relative size.

Pic 2:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...LlkQUV98I/edit

I only had this Tidus figurine around. This is to show how the left shield is held. It's fixed to his arm as shown.

Pic 3:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...RptAZJcdc/edit

This is how TP holds his right shield. The photo show it in his left since I couldn't fix it on the right.
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Old 2013-01-14, 10:05   Link #274
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
I sense a plot failure here. After the Pure Colour Kings revealed the sudden death rule, no one would dare to advance to level 9 anymore since a single duel against another level 9 would result in BB uninstallation. Black Vise is at level 8, and while I'm pretty sure he's been there long enough to accumulate enough points for 9, he's safely remaining at 8. That's why he can hold off Lotus in Ep. 24 without much fear of losing.



What's this doing here?

And canon-wise, White Cosmos, most probably an originator, is the ARG's president. How she got there, it's anybody's guess. It's more of a note that a comment since maybe you'd explain later that Vise brought in Cosmos as president later.

Little question here. Vice or Vise? Because the first one sounds wrong :P
Teehee. Don't be so quick to dismiss it as a plot failure. Black Vice has advanced to level 9 as an open declaration of rebellion against the peace treaty and also to show other linkers that someone else beside Lotus is fighting against the stagnation to encourage them to flock under his banner, because while Lotus has declared that she is fighting against the peace treaty, she is still on friendly terms with the other kings. This is the reason why the few hundred unaligned linkers have decided to stand back and watch instead of joining Lotus.

Humour. Poor Taku can't get out of the 'Hakase' impression he gives to other people.

White Cosmos ascended through the ranks. This means that there was a vacancy beforehand, though I'm not too sure whether this has been confirmed or just speculation. Either way, she would never have been the original Legion Master or she would be incapable of establishing Oscillatory Universe.

Either one doesn't matter. Both mean the same thing and are merely the American and British spellings, and since you know where I come from, you should know why I used Vice instead.
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Old 2013-01-14, 10:18   Link #275
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
I think I've got a solution here.

Cyan Pile is supposed to be a close-range avatar, so Taku's IS skill was to transform his pile driver into a two-handed sword.

I think that if I let Protector do the same, by changing his left shield into a one-handed sword, and while raging around as CD3, equip the Disaster's sword as a one-handed sword in his right, we'll have a dual-wielding avatar that follows canon.

Furthermore, it's a nice coincidence. Turquoise is one part blue and one part green: even when not as CD, Protector will be having a sword and a shield: close-range and defense.

Any doubts or queries?
Remember that this is going to be during the early days of the Accelerated World, so whether enough people know about the Incarnate System is debatable. Furthermore, not to mention that he would have to use that sword quite often in order to train up proper skills for it, which means using the IS quite often, something that's generally frowned against so as to keep IS under wraps.
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Old 2013-01-14, 10:27   Link #276
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
Teehee. Don't be so quick to dismiss it as a plot failure. Black Vice has advanced to level 9 as an open declaration of rebellion against the peace treaty and also to show other linkers that someone else beside Lotus is fighting against the stagnation to encourage them to flock under his banner, because while Lotus has declared that she is fighting against the peace treaty, she is still on friendly terms with the other kings. This is the reason why the few hundred unaligned linkers have decided to stand back and watch instead of joining Lotus.

Either one doesn't matter. Both mean the same thing and are merely the American and British spellings, and since you know where I come from, you should know why I used Vice instead.
I'll accept your explanation for why Vice went ahead to level 9 for now, if your fanfic continues to head towards a general direction.

Also, http://grammarist.com/spelling/vice-vise/

For the British spelling only, both are okay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
Remember that this is going to be during the early days of the Accelerated World, so whether enough people know about the Incarnate System is debatable. Furthermore, not to mention that he would have to use that sword quite often in order to train up proper skills for it, which means using the IS quite often, something that's generally frowned against so as to keep IS under wraps.
Oh, he'll find out about the IS system. As for training it, Taku trained his against UNF enemies, right? That's sorta solved unless you sense more wrong stuff.
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Old 2013-01-14, 10:40   Link #277
Orange Duke
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Quote:
I'll accept your explanation for why Vice went ahead to level 9 for now, if your fanfic continues to head towards a general direction.
By that I would assume that my explanation isn't entirely sound. If so, please tell me where so I may tweak it.

Quote:
Also, http://grammarist.com/spelling/vice-vise/

For the British spelling only, both are okay.
Actually, only the american spelling uses Vise and Vice interchangeably. There's also the added meaning of vice meaning immorality, which fits like a glove with his character. Vice's Static Pressure also works similarly to the tool he is named after.

Quote:
Oh, he'll find out about the IS system. As for training it, Taku trained his against UNF enemies, right? That's sorta solved unless you sense more wrong stuff.
The need to actually learn IS wouldn't be that great though, since its main purpose is actually to counter other IS abilities. If there aren't many IS users around, I don't think the top dogs would make IS known to even their closest aides, if only to stop it from being spread.
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Old 2013-01-14, 10:48   Link #278
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
By that I would assume that my explanation isn't entirely sound. If so, please tell me where so I may tweak it.
I was thinking of the King's reactions. For a known ARG member, on top of White Cosmos being pretty suspicious herself for not showing up at their meeting in vol 5, having BV's entry into the level 9 party could potentially upset the calm they're barely hanging onto at the moment. If every Tokyo BL-er went over to the ARG and rejected the legions, that leaves 600+ linkers versus more than a thousand others, and I haven't even though of the ARG spreading around ISS kits yet. BV's ascension would not be unnoticed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
The need to actually learn IS wouldn't be that great though, since its main purpose is actually to counter other IS abilities. If there aren't many IS users around, I don't think the top dogs would make IS known to even their closest aides, if only to stop it from being spread.
However, in an IS user vs Non-IS user fight, IS wins hands down. With this in mind,
Spoiler for first arc of CD fanfic:
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Last edited by Tusjecht; 2013-01-14 at 10:50. Reason: missing letters here and there
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Old 2013-01-14, 11:18   Link #279
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
I was thinking of the King's reactions. For a known ARG member, on top of White Cosmos being pretty suspicious herself for not showing up at their meeting in vol 5, having BV's entry into the level 9 party could potentially upset the calm they're barely hanging onto at the moment. If every Tokyo BL-er went over to the ARG and rejected the legions, that leaves 600+ linkers versus more than a thousand others, and I haven't even though of the ARG spreading around ISS kits yet. BV's ascension would not be unnoticed.
That is Vice's entire aim. He wants to see if he's able to throw the entire Accelerated World into chaos just by ascending to level 9. The ARG's experiments have all been to facilitate levelling up. From frontier farming to the experiments on IS ( note that the ARG doesn't give two hoots about keeping IS a secret so it's still fair game for levelling), the ARG has been trying ways and means to make it easier to ascend. If he manages to break the peace treaty, the Accelerated World would revert back to what it once was and the period of stagnation would end, effectively facilitating levelling up on a much larger scale.

The other legions don't care about helping Lotus get her territory back, but they are monitoring him to make sure he doesn't intrude into their territory or grow in power.

I do wonder if it is possible to use IS as the Disaster though, considering the Disaster itself is a product of IS.
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Old 2013-01-14, 11:23   Link #280
Tusjecht
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 20
It is. There's a translated novel illustration of CD's abilities, and Haru could use his IS Laser Sword and Laser Lance, some new move.
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