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Old 2013-01-14, 11:24   Link #281
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 10
Ah, then there should be no problem then.
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Old 2013-01-14, 11:27   Link #282
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
No problem with anything? At all? My draft progression is nearing the point at which main OC accelerates for the first time. Any changes after would be problematic.
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Old 2013-01-14, 11:31   Link #283
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 10
No problems so far, except for your character's age but that hasn't been made entirely obvious yet so it's a moot point.
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Old 2013-01-14, 11:39   Link #284
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
He's 10 years old. I think i wrote it earlier, but still moot point, yeah.

Alright then, onwards with plot progression!
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Old 2013-01-14, 11:44   Link #285
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 10
Yea, that's the problem, you see. He doesn't act like a 10 year old even before he has acquired Brain Burst.
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Old 2013-01-16, 11:24   Link #286
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
Would we expect them to act like what we know ten-year-olds to be today?
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Old 2013-01-16, 11:28   Link #287
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 10
Yes, as the environment hasn't changed that much. The Neuro Linker basically merges your brain with a computer, that is all. So instead of carrying around a laptop, an iPhone or wallet, you have a Neuro Linker to serve the same purpose. That is all that is actually different from the current age, so the maturity of the children should be the same.
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Old 2013-01-16, 11:37   Link #288
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
Lemme rephrase that; Should we expect the 10 YOs in 2044 to be the same as 10 YOs in 2013? I for one doubt so. The technological change is nothing relatively major; tech has been miniaturising and improving for years as of now already, that i agree. However, Vol 6 chapter 1 (which BT has translated) reveals some interesting things:

Quote:
Japan in year 2040, was overcome with unbounded declining birthrate and aging population, and the social security system was on the verge of collapse. The each year increase in health care, long term care and public pension expenditure, became unsupportable by the working generation. At that point, with the driver’s license as representative, various qualification acquisition age was lowered, so as to increase the number of working young people, was the government's intend. In fact, the Labor Standards Act was also amended at that time, so it became possible to hire 16 year olds as full time company employee.
And while I doubt the current Japanese government's ability to get anything done, I'd bet that this wasn't the only measure they took to treat kids more like grown ups.

I could give a Sunder-style treatment to explore the possibilities, but this is my main point.
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Last edited by Tusjecht; 2013-01-16 at 11:38. Reason: not prologue, chapter 1
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Old 2013-01-16, 11:45   Link #289
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Age: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
Lemme rephrase that; Should we expect the 10 YOs in 2044 to be the same as 10 YOs in 2013? I for one doubt so. The technological change is nothing relatively major; tech has been miniaturising and improving for years as of now already, that i agree. However, Vol 6 chapter 1 (which BT has translated) reveals some interesting things:



And while I doubt the current Japanese government's ability to get anything done, I'd bet that this wasn't the only measure they took to treat kids more like grown ups.

I could give a Sunder-style treatment to explore the possibilities, but this is my main point.
If that is the case, we may expect the education system to be overhauled so as to cater to the shortage of labor. However, we also must remember that it is possible for the government to bring in people from other countries (the "foreign talent" which we all know so well) to meet this shortage too. As such, it is also entirely possible that the education system might only be sped up slightly, but in the earlier years it would not be too much as there is still a limit as to how much a child can learn in a set amount of time. Furthermore, there's also the possibility that this option is available only for those kids who find that they are "not made for studying".

From a writing perspective, it is also more trouble than it is worth, as the general image of ten-year olds has not changed much over the years and as such, it is deeply ingrained into our minds. Readers of your fanfiction will feel uneasy as it is difficult to get used to, even if a logical explaination is provided.
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Old 2013-01-16, 11:55   Link #290
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
The japanese are pretty proud for being a 'pure' race. They won't play the immigration card unlike us if tech can do it too (and hence smart cars and neuro linkers).

Full-blown argument aside, I reasonably assume that readers of AW fanfiction are okay with the thought that 10-year-olds today are not as mature as 10-year-olds in the AW universe. I mean, have you read the other fanfics? Kids crunching ideal gas laws mentally is probably what you had in mind, but not me.

A writer's aim is to show you that the story he's writing is more interesting than the story you have in mind, to encourage you to step into his world and follow the plot. This may not be the strongest point in my fanfic, but it's minor conpared to the rest of the plot and I'm okay with letting it be.
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Last edited by Tusjecht; 2013-01-16 at 11:55. Reason: Typo
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Old 2013-01-16, 12:01   Link #291
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 10
Quote:
The japanese are pretty proud for being a 'pure' race. They won't play the immigration card unlike us if tech can do it too (and hence smart cars and neuro linkers).
Thing is, from the prologue, their society is on the verge of collapsing due to the labour shortage. They may be proud, but they are not stupid.

Quote:
I mean, have you read the other fanfics?
Comparing your own fanfic to other fanfics isn't exactly the best way to improve. It's like comparing your own drawing to something a kid drew in kindergarten with a crayon then after that a Picasso.

Quote:
A writer's aim is to show you that the story he's writing is more interesting than the story you have in mind, to encourage you to step into his world and follow the plot. This may not be the strongest point in my fanfic, but it's minor conpared to the rest of the plot and I'm okay with letting it be.
At the end of the day though, it really is your story and you should be the one deciding what you will be happy with. Write for yourself, not others.
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Old 2013-01-16, 12:47   Link #292
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 10
Chapter 6: Proclamation

"How are your plans coming along?"

"They are progressing excellently."

"Are you sure?"

"Is there a problem?"

"You need to keep better watch of your lackeys. It seems like some of them are still loyal to him."

"Him?"

"Yes, him. Apparently they took the chance to tip him off when we went public with our existence."

Tch.

"Small matter. The goal was to break the truce. My ascension to level 9 was an open display of rebellion against the treaty. Even as we speak, previously unaligned players who hated the period of stagnation bought about by the Kings are flocking to our banner. Even if he's back, it isn't going to stop us from achieving our goal. It might be delayed, but the outcome is inevitable."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"Because knowing him, he will end up furthering our goal instead."

__________________________

The room was shocked into momentary silence by the revelation.

Nega Nebulous had always knew that Vice didn't hold the most power in the ARG. After all, for there to be a vice-president, there had to be a president. They had always thought that this 'president' would be someone they had to fight one day in some climatic final showdown, the 'big bad' of the Acceleration Research Group.

Instead, here he was in the same room as they were, discussing an alliance face to face.

It was strange. Funny, even.

"Hold on. You said you left Brain Burst so you could pursue a normal life. What led you to return, then?"

This time, it was Haruyuki who broke the silence.

"A very good question. Around the time the Acceleration Research Group unmasked themselves and revealed their identity, a few of my previous lieutenants who were still loyal to me took the chance to tip me off. I blew my top when I found out what happened. It... It had been hell for them. Legion members who refused to comply with the experiments were threatened with Judgement Blow, and those whom Vice deemed disloyal were forced to be test subjects and experimented on relentlessly. If I.. If I ever get a hold of that bastard... I swear..."

Renji realised he was letting his anger get the better of him when he unconsciously smashed his right fist against the table. Even though Vice's atrocities were unforgivable, acting like this in front of strangers on their very first meeting was still unsightly.

"Sorry about that. Anyway, that's my reason. There are people there who still put their trust in me and I have no plans on disappointing them."

"I see... Okay, Ren, we'll help you in exchange for your assistance in getting our territory back. You haven't been to the Accelerated World in years, so I presume that you are not up to date with what has changed?" replied Kuroyukihime.

"Yes, as such, I will need all the information you can spare."

"Very well. I have just sent to your inbox an email containing all the information we know of the Acceleration Research Group, along with what you need to know of the current situation in the Accelerated World. If you don't mind, could you accelerate to read it so that we may get discussing as soon as possible? We will need all the time we can muster."

"Done."

"Any questions?"

"Yes. You mentioned Chrome Disaster. "

"What about it?"

"Can you tell me of its origins? If my theory is correct, it might be of help."
__________________________

"Unforgivable... absolutely inhumane... That bastard..."

Renji had hypothesized that Chrome Falcon might have been connected to the Disaster, but he had not expected it in this way.

"As if it wasn't enough... as if taking my legion wasn't enough... he had to erase my friends too..."

Renji struggled to keep his voice from breaking but he eventually lost control, sobbing as tears of grief and frustration ran down his face. He had originally thought of paying Falcon and Blossom a visit after all this was done, to reminiscent of the old times and see how they were getting along, but it seems that it was impossible now.

Taking the moment to compose himself, Renji once again took hold of his emotions.

"*cough* Sorry about that again. Falcon had been one of my closest lieutenants. I had originally offered him control of the legion in my absence, but he had declined... He and Vice were not on good terms. He was afraid that giving him command would threaten the harmony the legion held. If only I saw Vice for what he was... If only I had insisted more strongly that Falcon take the position... Falcon might have...This is all my fault...

I wish I could meet him and Blossom again, to tell the both of them I am sorry I brought this upon them, but I know they are already gone."

"There might be a way."

Renji's eyes widened in surprise and anticipation.

"Really? Tell me!"

"We'll have to dive into the Unlimited Field for that. Tomorrow is Saturday. At 15:30, we'll dive and meet at the school."

Kuroyukihime understood Renji was no longer in the mood for a discussion, not after what he had just learned. She had felt the same way after she realised she had been tricked into killing Red Rider. Betrayed by someone you once thought you could trust. It was a horrible feeling.

"With that, meeting disbanded."

Last edited by Orange Duke; 2013-01-19 at 14:27.
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Old 2013-01-19, 21:17   Link #293
MeisterBabylon
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Golden Throne
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by tusjecht View Post
Is this fanfic somewhere? I'd like to read it for inspiration. My OC will be the 3rd CD who is supposed to get his BB uninstalled by Blue Knight in sword combat.
Its in Story Board Hell.
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Old 2013-01-19, 21:20   Link #294
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
What's your FFnet handle then?
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Old 2013-01-22, 09:15   Link #295
MeisterBabylon
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Golden Throne
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Meister Babylon, I think. But its stuck together without the space in the address bar.

Or else look up Moretsu Pirates subsection. I'm the only author there.
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Old 2013-01-23, 11:10   Link #296
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
Give me a hand here, guys. I'm flat out of ideas:

What kind of duel avatar, attacks, affinities, the likes might result from these two complexes?

a) brother complex (yes, the kind held by a younger sister)

b) lone wolf complex
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Last edited by Tusjecht; 2013-01-24 at 09:07.
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Old 2013-01-27, 10:19   Link #297
tuckersister
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Making fanfic duel avatar looks fun. Maybe I should try. I already spent nearly weeks reading the whole light novel thread (really tired). My fav character is Silver Crow and Lime Bell right now.
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Old 2013-01-27, 10:24   Link #298
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by tuckersister View Post
Making fanfic duel avatar looks fun. Maybe I should try. I already spent nearly weeks reading the whole light novel thread (really tired). My fav character is Silver Crow and Lime Bell right now.
Even a few ideas will do. Help me out here? I want to avoid the inevitable OP tendencies that activate whenever I design an avatar for myself.
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Old 2013-01-27, 10:50   Link #299
Orange Duke
オレンジ色の王
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 10
Quote:
I want to avoid the inevitable OP tendencies that activate whenever I design an avatar for myself.
Write about a king, then. xD If anybody calls OP then just tell them "He's a king, what else do you expect?"

<.<

>.>

Not that I'm writing about Duke because of that, mind you. Just exploring how it would affect the Accelerated World if another king suddenly entered.

Quote:
Give me a hand here, guys. I'm flat out of ideas:

What kind of duel avatar, attacks, affinities, the likes might result from these two complexes?

a) brother complex (yes, the kind held by a younger sister)

b) lone wolf complex
Too little info to work on, unfortunately. We need to go deeper, into what caused these complexes. For example, is he a lone wolf because of something that happened? A betrayal, maybe? Or perhaps failing to protect his friends, so he decided he wasn't worthy of having friends because he couldn't handle the responsibility of protecting them? All of this factors into avatar creation.
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Old 2013-01-27, 11:01   Link #300
Tusjecht
Anomaly / 矛盾存在
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange Duke View Post
Too little info to work on, unfortunately. We need to go deeper, into what caused these complexes. For example, is he a lone wolf because of something that happened? A betrayal, maybe? Or perhaps failing to protect his friends, so he decided he wasn't worthy of having friends because he couldn't handle the responsibility of protecting them? All of this factors into avatar creation.
Mr Lone Wolf is easier to do here, he's not as important as imouto-chan because

Spoiler for Mr Lone Wolf:


Basically, his heart wound (as opposed to trauma, my guess is heart wound < trauma) is that he was sold out by his classmates who broke a promise. Kinda vague, I guess, but the result is that now, everything you want him to do for you, you must repay back with a favour of equal or larger weight. Capitalism ho.

As for the brother complex...remember the character submission I put on page 13?

Quote:
His motivation for Brain Burst was initially because he believed it would heal him after the traumatic incident two weeks before he received BB, which scarred him for life. His younger sister Kousaka Shino was attacked and about to get raped after school. Kyousuke tracked her down and intervened because they were in the middle of a call when she got cut off.

Since then. he has withdrawn from talking with Shino at first, but gradually opened up after she hugged him one night and confessed that she had never thanked him properly for that day. This affirms Kyousuke's wish to protect Shino from anything and everything.
That's the origin of the imouto Burst Linker. She'll play a large role in the fanfic Second Arc.
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