AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > Anime Related Topics > Fan Creations

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2013-01-02, 15:34   Link #101
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Volume 02 Chapter 11 (“Walk Like An Egyptian”) Part Two

Volume 02 Chapter 11 (“Walk Like An Egyptian”) Part Two (version 0.9)

TL;DR…
vol 02 chap 11 part two content
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
Will be rethinking chapter breaks for both volumes later ... but on we go.

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-04 at 21:26.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-03, 17:56   Link #102
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
A few fan videos of their spring gigs over the next few posts:

Note Glyc's antics after 2:00 (at 2:10-2:20). Love that.
YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-01-04 at 03:29.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-06, 22:54   Link #103
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Starting 2013, I'd like to thank people who read my drafts so far and *especially* those who gave me feedback, criticism, comments. Those inputs really do help me.

I'm going to slow down chapter releases a bit and increase their length, probably one chapter a week. I'm going to spend January doing my rewrite project on the first volume. Some parts are still far too sketchy and compressed (example: some people thought some of the events at Aina's house were happening so thick and fast they were having trouble keeping track, foreshadowing notes were too subtle to catch, etc).

I'm going to alter some things to adjust the pacing and try to end each volume on more upbeat themes. The rest of the ski trip adventure will be released in a day or two.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-07, 20:44   Link #104
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
A spring time concert moment. Tsika sings a cover of Bif Naked's tune. (hmmm, the youtube upload/conversion process spooged up the audio-video sync a bit so some of the lip movements aren't lined up with the video, bah)

"You Make Me Sick!" ... Its a love song .... really.

YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-01-08 at 05:56.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-08, 17:26   Link #105
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Glycerin's head is packed full of sugar pop stuff (born this way) ... but I really liked the animations I captured on this tune and the lyrics dance around her issues in life. Lots of interaction between her and Tsika.

YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
One of the few songs where I can get significant Tsika and Blar duet vocals (blaze of glory):
YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-01-08 at 20:02.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-09, 17:14   Link #106
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Chapter 12 (“Are You Gonna Be My Girl”)

Chapter 12 (“Are You Gonna Be My Girl”) Part One (version 0.9)

TL;DR…
vol 02 chap 12 part one
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
Hmmm, another chapter that had to be split in two despite my character count being about 38,000. Something is lying to me. On to Part Two.

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-04 at 21:27.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-09, 17:21   Link #107
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Chapter 12 (“Are You Gonna Be My Girl”) Part Two

Chapter 12 (“Are You Gonna Be My Girl”) Part Two (version 0.9)

TL;DR…
vol 02 chap 12 part two
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
author note: not entirely happy with some of the dialog. red-marked for later. also still stewing about some of Glyc's implementation but its modular enough I think I can tweak if I decide it was a fail.

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-04 at 21:27.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-09, 19:41   Link #108
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Author commentary moment --

Spoiler for Author commentary on story so far in the light novel "It Really IS Rocket Science" and request for feedback:
The regular people who are commenting via PM, etc., please continue - I love it.

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-01-09 at 20:06.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-11, 18:11   Link #109
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
While I'm writing, here's a glimmer of one of the band's theme nights (delivered on request by the clubs). This is Wonderland theme night (as in Alice in Wonderland). The band dressed accordingly - Alice, Red Queen, Mad Hatter, Hookah-smoking Caterpillar.

opening number (white rabbit)
YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
lights and mushrooms (somebody to love)
YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
When it gets hot, Glycerin starts losing pieces of her costume (kpau on vocals here, lips are sealed)
YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
[updated video for Glyc's video, see below - didn't like the effects it kept forcing -- will repost below]

Kpau has a really excellent Alice persona outfit going there and Glyc is just kind of mesmerizing at times.

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-01-18 at 01:00.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-15, 19:09   Link #110
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Chapter 13 ("Kiss Them For Me")

Chapter 13 (“Kiss Them For Me”) (version 0.9)

TL;DR…
vol 02 chap 13 content
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-04 at 21:28. Reason: Finding all sorts of bugs and blerps
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-18, 01:49   Link #111
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Re-release of Glyc's part of the Wonderland gig (after a healthy dose of magic fog smoke and rum). I borked the first few frames but the rest of it I'm okay with.

YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
Note: there's a video/audio pop a little after 4:45. I'm not sure what is causing those yet. Have found a few such pops in other recent video projects. Great. :P

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-30 at 17:10.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-20, 18:16   Link #112
Kudryavka
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2009
Did you write/record the songs? Sha.
Anyway I'm gonna read...
Kudryavka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-20, 20:27   Link #113
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kudryavka View Post
Did you write/record the songs? Sha.
Anyway I'm gonna read...
Thanks! Any comments appreciated on the story. I am tinkering with writing original lyrics for the band to sing occasionally but mostly the story is about the business of being in a band, the romances, comedy, drama, and the off-stage adventures.

The videos are mostly my tool for helping me visualize the characters, their personalities, and the music they like to play - and obviously the tools are the Rock Band gaming system.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-21, 17:49   Link #114
Kerspunkle
Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Your imagination
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
I made the decision early on to switch POV and choose the POV that best fit the events in a chapter. It keeps me from falling into ruts (I hope) and it lets me do exposition without it seeming forced. Its a bit of roleplay (something I've always been fond of in MMOs and D&D) as well.
I enjoy stories that switch POV like this! I think it helps the reader become more connected with the characters. There is one thing you should watch out for when switching POV often, though. I noticed in a couple of places where it's a certain character's POV and then it will switch to something that's out of the character's scope. For example, in one scene describing Tsika from Blar's POV it says something about the outfit she is wearing got her in trouble in her boarding school days (or something like that). It's something Blar wouldn't really know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
I fret that I get too ... melodramatic/maudlin/verbose/hyperbolic.
Well, some writers would probably agree with that statement... but those writers are just boring! I say keep at it! I think that good stories are the ones that make people feel. In my opinion, wording your story how you have elicits more feelings. For example, I could imagine myself being in the crowd of people getting pumped up by the band's music. Ugh! I'm not very good at articulating my thoughts. Hopefully you understand what I mean. I'll try to clarify if you don't understand what I'm talking about.
Kerspunkle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-21, 20:22   Link #115
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
No, I get it. Since then my editor has been pretty supportive of the level of description.

As for the POV problem, yeah, I'm going through the first volume this month and correcting all that sort of continuity or POV problems. Also retro-inserting things that I added in later (like speaking styles).

Thanks for the feedback!
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-22, 02:31   Link #116
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Example of story revision (1st volume 1st/2nd chapter rewritten and merged)

THIS IS NOT THE LATEST CHAPTER. Just saying.

It is a peek into the rewrites I'm doing of Volume 1. Readers with good memory will notice I merged chapter 1 and chapter 2 of the first volume. Both were far too short on their own. This is the first pass at revising volume 1. You'll notice some shifts in tone, plot changes, some retrofitting of information to improve foreshadowing and such. Just wanted to show how story rewriting can go. Tap. Tap tap.

I haven't decided whether to overhaul this thread or just encourage people to "buy the book" however that works out. One thing is for certain the 50,000 character limit on a post is turning into a major annoyance.

Chapter One “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” (version 0.95)
TL;DR…
Volume 1 Revised, New Format, Chapter 1
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-04 at 21:29.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-22, 19:04   Link #117
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Another reason I'm rewriting the first volume (in addition to making it publish-worthy) - my editor friend and I were discussing strategic issues with the story. In summary:

1) the characters are far too self-aware and on the same page about perceptions. Tsika is not especially self-aware about her insecurities and she totally missed on what is going on inside Glycerin's head. Kpau makes mistakes. Blar makes mistakes, misses clues. This is what believable personalities do -- the story needs more of that.
2) The story seems filled with melodrama, as if each scene has to be a crisis. More *daily life* to flesh out personalities and relationships. This is something I'm trying hard to do in volume 2 but going back and redoing volume 1 is needed as well.
3) Mitigating what are strictly anime-acceptable tropes that don't really fly for other readers. There aren't too many of these but I'd like this to be accessible to anyone, not just people steeped in anime world.

Next chapter is almost ready, probably post it tomorrow and I'll stop moaning about the exercise of writing.

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-01-22 at 19:17.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-24, 03:29   Link #118
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Chapter 14 (“There's Only One Way To Rock”)

Chapter 14 (“There's Only One Way To Rock”) (version 0.9)
TL;DR…
volume 02 chapter 14
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?
author note: I found it difficult to try and make a festival site tour not utterly boring. So it goes. Hopefully the hot blooded lust balances it

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-04 at 21:30. Reason: Eliminating some god-awful prose, hopefully a little less ridiculous now.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-24, 16:27   Link #119
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Two of my favorite guitarists, Orianthi and Steve Vai shredding an instrumental and both being sexy :
YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

The making of video that goes with it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ScZw-uokNg
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-01-28, 17:05   Link #120
Vexx
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Kpau haz new clothes (from her last shopping spree) and the author is staring at an outline that just won't cooperate and transform into a chapter. Typing, typing typing. Video is a "future vid" from an upcoming Japan tour (volume 3).

YouTube
Sorry; dynamic content not loaded. Reload?

Last edited by Vexx; 2013-04-11 at 13:52.
Vexx is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
comedy, drama, light novel, music, romance

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:45.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We use Silk.