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Old 2013-01-28, 10:40   Link #40021
agetreme
One_Turn_Kill(Myself)
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Delusion world
I did mention that I am restarting my IS project.....

Story focus more on female characters (probably bringing back Ayara and co as the outcast).

Female characters are like performers while Male characters are more like stagehand, working on chaotic backstage (chaotic because of angry mobs).

Male Lead belongs to a company which just enter the whole IS business. The company created new technology (Genome) which allow Mass Production IS to have performance equal to first shift IS. Equalizer that remembers and optimized itself to suit the pilot.

Whole point of above is to allow normal Pilots to have a chance against Rep.


One of the company's greatest technology is One-off nullifier which negate one-hit kill weapons such as Yukihira.

As a gag: Reason for staying in a Plushie: The male lead and his development teams are hiding from angry mob for making better technology for IS. Their alternative is suicide which one of them did (Creator of the Equalizer technology).
=
Edit:
>Normal name for Male lead
-keep claiming wanted to take over the world but too lazy to actually do it.
-relatively Nice guy.....just not very polite.

>Normal goal for the company, Their motto: "We love money, so just give us yours already!"
- Notoriously brutally honest (which is why people trust them when it come to the quality of their product quality. They don't lie about it.)
- Most of the employees are females

Working on female characters
- Normal in the head compared to Ayara's party.

=

Also working Fun stuff:

Built in defiance against IS:

Trying to squeeze as much Phallic symbols into a single machine....(but will try to justify them!)

It is clearly over-compensating something... and somehow, manage to beat all the canon characters.....

To protect the pilot from being attack from their "weak point", additional defensive is added with the unfortunate implication of making the crotch area long and spiky.

Head is rounded for special 360 sensors.

The Gun is long and large because it need enough firepower to penetrate IS defense.

Pump-action because it is technically a shotgun.

Close range weapon is a pump-action Sword which vibrates (the pumping action build up power....)

Ball shaped stuff attached to the swords is energy grenade that doubles as power source for the sword.

Long tail for balance and as additional penetrating weapons.

Snake-naming theme.

Long antenna for commanding drones.

The male pilot is a dick.

Reason for not mass producing it: It is still a prototype and its aesthetic design really need help....

lots of it.
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Last edited by agetreme; 2013-01-28 at 10:53.
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Old 2013-01-28, 10:56   Link #40022
ZeroXSEED
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@ Demi
If you mean nanomaterial, I use it, IT IS part of what made I.S. advanced, whether it's about the engineering or electronics.

If you're talking about 'magic' metal, no, I didn't.

@ Age
Uh... can, can you please not come with BANG BANG BANG + MIND SCREW like that?.

No offense, but please, just please, write in normal paragraph so I can read without getting a heart attack.
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Old 2013-01-28, 11:01   Link #40023
demino_hellsin
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Kind of like magic metal. Made of nanobots that read your mind and react to your will
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Old 2013-01-28, 11:04   Link #40024
ZeroXSEED
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No

I have... 'few unhealthy discussion' with Meister about it, the result is me having a total seizure for 72 hours and Meister not being Meister for a week straight.

EDIT: Main canon example is Tatenashi's nanomachines are virtually this, by a nutshelll, because it use Image Interface System to control.
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Old 2013-01-28, 11:10   Link #40025
demino_hellsin
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So they are far more advanced than IS....
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Old 2013-01-28, 11:13   Link #40026
ZeroXSEED
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Oooooh MY HEAD!!!!
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Old 2013-01-28, 11:14   Link #40027
demino_hellsin
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Dude... Breathe. It's for the crossover plot I posted. Testing feasibility and all.
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Old 2013-01-28, 11:40   Link #40028
agetreme
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
@ Demi
If you mean nanomaterial, I use it, IT IS part of what made I.S. advanced, whether it's about the engineering or electronics.

If you're talking about 'magic' metal, no, I didn't.

@ Age
Uh... can, can you please not come with BANG BANG BANG + MIND SCREW like that?.

No offense, but please, just please, write in normal paragraph so I can read without getting a heart attack.
Ironically, those ideas are actually quite... sane and tame compared to what I used to have. I am cutting down the mind-screw stuff and just stick with common sense(I have an outlet for mind screw stuff). About typing out in paragraph, I did tried typing out everything in one whole paragraph but it did not work as well because I myself find it hard to read and check things. You see, while I am typing things out, I am actually checking the idea in my head, testing and rejecting really fucked-up ideas. The only reason why I am making them in bullet points is to make it easier for others and me to read, otherwise it would be one lump of mess. Ideas are disjointed because I am forcing myself to get stuff out rather than just repeatedly running the idea in my head.
Quote:
So they are far more advanced than IS....
Phallic symbol machines!
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Old 2013-01-28, 11:42   Link #40029
ZeroXSEED
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^ THIS I can understand, dude. And conversion from word... is imperfect, hence my confusion.

Actually, I can see spoofing manly I.S. as funny, just be sure to play around with comedy and stick with it until you drop the WHAM hammer to avoid unwanted accusation

Or alternative, make the character unusually serious that everyone mock him for it, or having him trapped in embarrassing/unmanly situation.
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Old 2013-01-28, 20:31   Link #40030
agetreme
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It is not just spoofing manly IS... because it is spoofing manly OC who appear out of nowhere and instantly pwn everybody despite the fact that being new to IS means he has no experience in IS battle what-so-ever. Actual IS combat is different from normal Combat since you can be attack from all sides including top and bottom.

The manly OC is kind of like Takamatsu from Angel Beat(only less awesome). He think that he is awesome when he is not and strip for no apparent reason. He has a crush on an IS pilot who eventually filed restraining orders on him.

As for the story itself... I try to give it an imagery of a stage performance, it would be split into two side: Front Stage and Back Stage. Front-stage is for the performers (AKA IS pilots and their lives) and Backstage is for the Stagehands(Maintenance and Developers..etc) where all the bullshit happens. Bullshit such as Politics (remember that concept about Kanzashi being Japanese Rep due to her family pulling string from the background? Backstage is the background and Politics tend to get on the nerves of some IS developers. Also, it is hard to improve technology with Angry mobs, Tabane's trolling (Wham!4th gen while others are struggling on 3rd), Political interference and Phantom Task).
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Old 2013-01-28, 21:41   Link #40031
demino_hellsin
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This thread is never complete withotuage's nonsensical long posts which are extremely difficult to decipher. I find it nice that he's posted something like that in about... 5-10 pages?
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Old 2013-01-28, 21:43   Link #40032
ZeroXSEED
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At least he never actually gone MIA

And if he TRIED, it's easy to understood but once again, his writing of choice is not actually bad, just complex.

Also,lo behold the parody stu. I can see him being buttmonkey form the get go despite being the strongest
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Old 2013-01-28, 21:54   Link #40033
demino_hellsin
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I never really found his writing complex. Just convoluted really. Classic example of twisting what doesn't need to be twisted just to add depth when in reality he's losing it. At least in my book.
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Old 2013-01-28, 22:08   Link #40034
ZeroXSEED
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You mention it, actually... it comes to my mind that I write like that when too many things clogged my brain traffic.

Anyway, let's switch away from meta topic, hardly something productive.
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Old 2013-01-28, 22:19   Link #40035
demino_hellsin
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*shrug* Writing style is integral to me. But I still read well plotted though not so richly written material. Your problem lies more on making everything breathing a hardass and even in comedic or softer momkents it can still feel like a military drill. Your plotting and world setting is great. Concept formation enviable.

I'm still running around like a headless chicken torn between a thesis, project to be publicly presented(not as grand as it sounds) and plotting cake eater.
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Old 2013-01-29, 01:36   Link #40036
ZeroXSEED
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Spoiler for Loldraft:


Pet robot

PET FREAKING ROBOT
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Last edited by ZeroXSEED; 2013-01-29 at 01:58.
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Old 2013-01-29, 02:51   Link #40037
demino_hellsin
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So Dan is now Raiden minus the cyborg parts with dyed red hair.
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Old 2013-01-29, 03:29   Link #40038
ZeroXSEED
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And using what looks like a brainchild of Exo-Frames and Evangelion, and actual offshoot from VT System.

It doesn't generate parts and weapon on a whim, instead, it 'digest' raw material to repair it's internal parts and produce external parts in few hour within it's bulky backpack, the pilot will take those parts out and install it themselves. In one occasion it ate a freaking golem core, even, though instead of assimilating it, it simply modified the core to replace it's own less advanced core (which is ejected from the backpack)
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Old 2013-01-29, 03:39   Link #40039
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kinda reminds me of a lot of things but I probably shouldn't get into that.
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Old 2013-01-29, 03:51   Link #40040
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Unit 01 vs Zeruel, obviously

EDIT: Avoiding double post, Charles' 'Pet Robot'

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Last edited by ZeroXSEED; 2013-01-29 at 05:24.
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