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Old 2013-04-07, 10:54   Link #41281
StratoSpear
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^^

And right after that... (First line is Inami's)

Quote:
“That’s how it has to be?”

“That’s how it always will be.”

“…Deal.”
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Old 2013-04-07, 11:28   Link #41282
ZeroXSEED
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Be sure not to push emphasis on female being sexually oppressed though, I haven't seen a case so far, but a preemptive warning should be fine right?

In fact, it's the reason I... gender flip it in ST, with a Chekhov's gunman OC being important to unravel a main character backstory AND giving a message or two, despite only appearing twice, and only briefly in one case. I just know someone will call "Pussy", but I still have my middle fingers intact.
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Old 2013-04-07, 11:31   Link #41283
demino_hellsin
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I never could understand tragedy and the driving forces behind breakdowns in relationships. Never been in one, doubt I could ever get in one. Too messy a business. But I like to write about them like I do understand. :l
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Old 2013-04-07, 11:32   Link #41284
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An observer can see something the player do from different perspective. My relationship is... to put it simply, dull. Maybe they're right about "In reality, childhood friend romance just don't work" but "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" was my usual answer.

Remember the difference between 3rd POV and 1st POV?
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Old 2013-04-07, 11:37   Link #41285
demino_hellsin
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Yeah I do. It's making my writing a b**** to work out.

I can only try to imagine the circumstances. But the actual... I feel quite unconfident.

EDIT: my relationships with girls equal me quivering in a corner denying knowing girl whom I like as everyone from my parents to my friends and their distant extended family tease and interrogate me about her. Needless to say I've never been in a relationship.

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2013-04-07 at 11:47.
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Old 2013-04-07, 11:49   Link #41286
StratoSpear
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It's challenging, I'll admit.

Unlike other anime romance I've seen, Inami and Tsurugi never really held any childhood promise to marry each other. They just spend time with each other, one goes MIA for five years, the other gets shit thrown at her sometime during the five years.

To put it simply, both of them just want to live with each other again like they used to. All while learning to accept the fact that they need to bear bigger responsibilities unlike before (upholding family name/honor, inherit fortunes) if they're going to make their wishes come true. All these while having a backdrop of IS Academy studies (Tsurugi) and terrorist drones deterrence (Inami).

Female oppression is merely implied during the story but none actually went through. The two characters that were implied to have experienced such (Tsurugi and Kirin) both managed to fend for themselves somehow and prevented it from happening.
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Old 2013-04-07, 11:53   Link #41287
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Yeah I do. It's making my writing a b**** to work out.

I can only try to imagine the circumstances. But the actual... I feel quite unconfident.
Try to ask someone about their relationship

Easier that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
EDIT: my relationships with girls equal me quivering in a corner denying knowing girl whom I like as everyone from my parents to my friends and their distant extended family tease and interrogate me about her. Needless to say I've never been in a relationship.
You're in an extended family who stay in contact? Good.

Now Imagine dating your cousin, annual family gathering will drive you insane.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
Female oppression is merely implied during the story but none actually went through. The two characters that were implied to have experienced such (Tsurugi and Kirin) both managed to fend for themselves somehow and prevented it from happening.
I did say so, preemptive warning bro.

It's just that the sexual one is the biggest pit trap of all.
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Old 2013-04-07, 11:57   Link #41288
demino_hellsin
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I was in a mountainous region once. I regret not jumping *sigh*

Dating my cousin huh? Can't imagine. All the women of my family have something about them that give me the willies. It's not even the trained instinct of knowing they are family. There's really at least one trait about each of them that genuinely scares me haha.

What I hate about third person writing is how difficult it is to get into a character's head without giving away too much and making the flow unnatural or boring exposition.

EDIT: I once asked a friend about their relationship, he gave me the stinkeye. I asked another. He broke down crying. The third I asked just shrugged and said it's kinda like work. Another was happy to "be free at last" or something though I think he's not over it. But I digress.
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Old 2013-04-07, 12:03   Link #41289
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
There's really at least one trait about each of them that genuinely scares me haha.
Definitely

But then again, I'm not popular with anyone else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
What I hate about third person writing is how difficult it is to get into a character's head without giving away too much and making the flow unnatural or boring exposition.
This

But do not be discouraged.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
I once asked a friend about their relationship, he gave me the stinkeye. I asked another. He broke down crying. The third I asked just shrugged and said it's kinda like work. Another was happy to "be free at last" or something though I think he's not over it. But I digress.
Damn....
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Old 2013-04-07, 12:12   Link #41290
demino_hellsin
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Currently I've been trying to get an entry point to cake eater 3. An acceptable one. Clarissa being submissive and Chifuyu mouth frothing mad are both not something I think I can write about. Especially Chifuyu...
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Old 2013-04-07, 12:19   Link #41291
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Clarissa being submissive and Chifuyu mouth frothing mad are both not something I think I can write about. Especially Chifuyu...
It's not about you think you can't write, it's how much you want to write it regardless of any other factor that may influence this decision.

I think the image is funny, if you write that as OOC humor rather than serious characterization.
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Old 2013-04-07, 12:22   Link #41292
StratoSpear
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Communication is the key for any relationship. Any type of it, even visual communication affects it. I can't say much since I'm currently in my first relationship in my life. But communication is definitely important.

There's no need for a tragic backstory or tragic event to drive two characters into a relationship. The only need to click, insert a scenario where two characters would need each other's support, remove any possible channel of communication between the two. Then you get to work how the drama between them unfolds when they can finally communicate again.

That's my 2 cents.
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Old 2013-04-07, 12:25   Link #41293
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
Communication is the key for any relationship. Any type of it, even visual communication affects it. I can't say much since I'm currently in my first relationship in my life. But communication is definitely important.

There's no need for a tragic backstory or tragic event to drive two characters into a relationship. The only need to click, insert a scenario where two characters would need each other's support, remove any possible channel of communication between the two. Then you get to work how the drama between them unfolds when they can finally communicate again.

That's my 2 cents.
Yeah, and the more reason my freaking subconsciousness insisting that Charles and Lingyin is official for ST...

Fuck, need to speed up with more quality interaction with Laura, but then... the plot....
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Old 2013-04-07, 12:27   Link #41294
demino_hellsin
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@zero: both are played for laughs. Chapter 3 takes place immediately after chapter 2.

@stratos: I think that's important too. Though I'll pass on getting in a relationship. I'll write as much about them as I can.
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Old 2013-04-07, 20:26   Link #41295
DarkJak2050
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
If it's needed to explain his personality in the story, it has to be included, whatever it may be.
Well, if that's the case then okay...

But it might get the story pulled.

Quote:
A scene:
Spoiler for Academy:
Is there going to be some "interactions" with Inami later?
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Old 2013-04-07, 21:14   Link #41296
ZeroXSEED
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There's a big difference between 'heavily implied' and 'thrown at the reader's face' y'now.

As long as nothing really explicit actually shown, there should be no problem at all. I write an incest rape story for God's sake
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Old 2013-04-07, 21:22   Link #41297
DarkJak2050
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
There's a big difference between 'heavily implied' and 'thrown at the reader's face' y'now.

As long as nothing really explicit actually shown, there should be no problem at all. I write an incest rape story for God's sake
Care to post that part so I know where to go on from?
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Old 2013-04-07, 21:29   Link #41298
ZeroXSEED
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Let's see....


Quote:
Our minds went back to reality, both of us are in the state of massive tiredness, my body is hot beyond belief…

It was very sensual, her drenched, naked body…and my metallic hands firmly grasping on her shoulder while her hands is clinging to my neck.

And there's strange feeling down there…

OH SHI-

"Ahh…ahh…you…we…" she said between pants and gasp, again a mix of tiredness and pleasure…
It's rated M so I still have even more leeway than usual, but I can even make it PG with even more restriction.

Such as

Quote:
Our minds went back to reality, both of us are in the state of massive tiredness, my body is uncomfortable, and yet I felt a sense of pleasure
Skipping the 'naked' part and everything is implied in one way or another, like Sword Art Online in both Manga and Anime version.
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Old 2013-04-07, 22:44   Link #41299
StratoSpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
Well, if that's the case then okay...

But it might get the story pulled.
Pulled as in...?


Quote:
Is there going to be some "interactions" with Inami later?
Planned. But who gets to do the talking, I'm torn between Kirin and Tsurugi. Then again, I'm leaning more to Kirin since she has more experience with an IS compared to Tsurugi, not to mention she's also Sweden's Representative.

If you'd notice a long ass scene I posted in the previous page, interactions between Inami and Tsurugi is prolly going to be centered around marital drama.
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Old 2013-04-07, 23:24   Link #41300
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by StratoSpear View Post
Pulled as in...?
Purged by mustache twirling mod, FF.Net is increasingly pissing off the minorities.

Apparently a significant number Fanfiction in the archive are banished to kingdom come due to risky content. (That's like, 80 thousand fanfiction? I've heard rumor that it's actually closer to 115 thousand)
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