AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > Anime Related Topics > Manga & Light Novels

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2013-05-07, 21:57   Link #1641
Iskatar
The Sanctuary Knocker
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nandesuto View Post
Here's a quick comparison of the first few lines against my Chinese translation.


Here's my take:


I can't vouch for the accuracy of my own translation, or of the initial J-C one, but there does seem to be something lost in translation. I'd advise being a little more careful with lines that tend to have chained modifiers + descriptions. The flow of the English is a little awkward as well, although that's simply because you're not a native English speaker. An editor ought to be able to help with that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by setsuna86 View Post
I try to do as you advise and reedit. Please read once more on BT. (ch 2)
In addition to what Nan said, you should also be careful of double negatives, punctuation, and capitalization.

On that note, like was said previously about lines not making sense in English, there are some weird lines like "Do you have any measures?" Measures for...? Do you mean countermeasures? Personally, I would take these off BT until they get screened by an editor.

Last edited by Iskatar; 2013-05-08 at 00:37.
Iskatar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-08, 02:42   Link #1642
cramped
asexual, cynic, pessimist
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Amnesia: Thailand
Umm, I just skimmed through ur TL setsuna. I will omit the awkward grammatical usage for now. There is something I would like to point out.

The ship name is White Illuna.
The owner is Matvey.
The two port towns are Prepus and Lippner.

Also your writing about Prince Jermaine is so inconsistent.
Sry, for the criticism.
__________________
Patron God of NTRed
cramped is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-08, 05:49   Link #1643
sasuke706
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by cramped View Post
The ship name is White Illuna.
Just wanted to interject since I just finished reading the chapter 2 translation (I don't follow along in Japanese either) and happen to like Dark Souls, so I peeked at the raw novel.

I noticed the two names for the ship were quite different, so I wanted to elaborate on it. In Japanese, the ship is called 誇り高き白イルカ号 with the furigana showing it pronounced as ゴルディベルーガ号. Thus, the ship would be named The Goldy Beluga, but the kanji itself calls it The Proud White Beluga (イルカ isn't specific to dolphins). It'd sound better as The Proud White Whale, but eh. The author actually uses English words for once, but I suppose we're better off not asking how white turns into goldy.

Also, アルトリウス means Artorias (I know it can be Artorius too), not Arturius. Totally not OCD about that nope.
sasuke706 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-08, 06:22   Link #1644
setsuna86
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Germany
Quote:
Originally Posted by cramped View Post
Umm, I just skimmed through ur TL setsuna. I will omit the awkward grammatical usage for now. There is something I would like to point out.

The ship name is White Illuna.
The owner is Matvey.
The two port towns are Prepus and Lippner.

Also your writing about Prince Jermaine is so inconsistent.
Sry, for the criticism.
I just replace the names you gave me. And regarding the matter with Prince Jermaine, can you do something about it?
setsuna86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-08, 06:34   Link #1645
cramped
asexual, cynic, pessimist
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Amnesia: Thailand
Hmm, for that part correct me if I am wrong though you use like Germane and Jermaine.
For the ship name that is what I discuss with Xena sometime ago.
__________________
Patron God of NTRed
cramped is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-08, 06:53   Link #1646
setsuna86
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Germany
Quote:
Originally Posted by cramped View Post
Hmm, for that part correct me if I am wrong though you use like Germane and Jermaine.
For the ship name that is what I discuss with Xena sometime ago.
Well, I first use Germane and then I Change to Jermaine thinking it is better so.
setsuna86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-08, 07:31   Link #1647
cramped
asexual, cynic, pessimist
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Amnesia: Thailand
It is Jermaine <----- there exist people with this name. Assvarian are English considering that the founder of the country is based on King Arthur and just look at the princess name and you will know. Anyways, if you want me to do anything drop by my talk page on BT and post it.
__________________
Patron God of NTRed
cramped is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-09, 16:03   Link #1648
Nandesuto
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Having edited this a little more now, I'm fairly sure that neither "Germane" nor "Jermaine" is 100% correct. "Jermaine" is a recent English bastardization of "Germain", which is a name that dates back to the "correct" period, but is French. I'll leave the choice of lesser of two evils to someone else.

Edit: Looking further, I'm confused at the use of "Prepus". The Chinese uses this as well, but the Japanese raw clearly states "このあと君はプシェプス..." (p.76) I'm just not seeing how "プシェプス" becomes "Prepus". (Edit #2: Nvm. I think I know. The OCR probably failed and converted the シ into レ.)

Last edited by Nandesuto; 2013-05-09 at 17:05. Reason: Added to post.
Nandesuto is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 05:53   Link #1649
Iskatar
The Sanctuary Knocker
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nandesuto View Post
Having edited this a little more now, I'm fairly sure that neither "Germane" nor "Jermaine" is 100% correct. "Jermaine" is a recent English bastardization of "Germain", which is a name that dates back to the "correct" period, but is French. I'll leave the choice of lesser of two evils to someone else.

Edit: Looking further, I'm confused at the use of "Prepus". The Chinese uses this as well, but the Japanese raw clearly states "このあと君はプシェプス..." (p.76) I'm just not seeing how "プシェプス" becomes "Prepus". (Edit #2: Nvm. I think I know. The OCR probably failed and converted the シ into レ.)
Interestingly enough, "Jermaine" can translate to "German(ic)" if I recall correctly. I'd flip a coin. By the way, what are Olga's titles? Like Silvfrahl, Meltis, Michelia, Presuvet, etc. Also.... is Olga's Viralt really named "Takeshi"? I'm asking because I'm thinking that the Names and Terminology page on BT could use an update.
Iskatar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 06:07   Link #1650
Hemisphere
見習い魔剣使い
 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 大陸の片隅
Olga's Title:『羅轟の月姫(バルディッシュ)』
Olga's Viralt: ムマ 『崩呪の弦武』
__________________
Hemisphere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 09:19   Link #1651
Iskatar
The Sanctuary Knocker
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemisphere View Post
Olga's Title:『羅轟の月姫(バルディッシュ)』
Olga's Viralt: ムマ 『崩呪の弦武』
Thank you.


On a more general, "Curse of the Reversal" sounds... pretty weird with the "the" tacked in. That's just me though.

Last edited by Iskatar; 2013-05-11 at 09:32.
Iskatar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 09:35   Link #1652
cramped
asexual, cynic, pessimist
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Amnesia: Thailand
Olga's viralt is named Muma.
__________________
Patron God of NTRed
cramped is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 09:54   Link #1653
setsuna86
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Germany
Quote:
Originally Posted by cramped View Post
Olga's viralt is named Muma.
Yeah. Olga's viralt has two names: Muma and Land of Brest (ブレストの地)
setsuna86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 10:03   Link #1654
HasNoLove
GiveMeMoreLove
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Under the Hell and Above the Heaven
Send a message via Skype™ to HasNoLove
Quote:
Originally Posted by setsuna86 View Post
Yeah. Olga's viralt has two names: Muma and Land of Brest (ブレストの地)
Mune and Land of breast..?? isnt dat an insult to olga, cuz petta-loli....
__________________
HasNoLove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 10:09   Link #1655
kazzuya13
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
By the way are there no more illustration aside from the color illustration of volume 6?
kazzuya13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 10:24   Link #1656
Hemisphere
見習い魔剣使い
 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 大陸の片隅
Wasn't ブレスト the region she controls as a Vanadis? Like with Elen and LeitMeritz, Lyudmila and Olmutz, etc.?
__________________
Hemisphere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 10:27   Link #1657
Awrya
U mad?
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by kazzuya13 View Post
By the way are there no more illustration aside from the color illustration of volume 6?
Illustrator was sick at the time I believe, and even the colour illustration was just combining existing illustrations from other books.
__________________
Awrya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 10:31   Link #1658
Iskatar
The Sanctuary Knocker
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemisphere View Post
Wasn't ブレスト the region she controls as a Vanadis? Like with Elen and LeitMeritz, Lyudmila and Olmutz, etc.?
Yes. After glancing at the wiki entry, it is indeed Muma, the Curse of (the) Reversal(?) - Houju no Genbu. As far as I know, Muma doesn't have another name yet like Hollow Shadow or Luminous Flame, though I might have missed it. She was chosen at the age of 12 and given the land of Brest as her domain.
Iskatar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 10:43   Link #1659
Hemisphere
見習い魔剣使い
 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 大陸の片隅
Don't the Viralts only have one alternate title each, same with their Vanadis (save for Elen who has two)? Or do you mean Muma's lack of elemental affinity in its title? I'm confused. Feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken.

I actually love that in-joke. Giving Olga, the flattest of the flat, a territory named ブレスト, and she ended up being overwhelmed by the size of it her self-confidence crumbled and she ran away.

Gonna be funny if this series somehow ends up connected with the author's other works and suddenly the Viralts are revealed to be actual dragons in weapon form much like in his other series.
__________________

Last edited by Hemisphere; 2013-05-11 at 12:00.
Hemisphere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2013-05-11, 13:07   Link #1660
Iskatar
The Sanctuary Knocker
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemisphere View Post
Don't the Viralts only have one alternate title each, same with their Vanadis (save for Elen who has two)? Or do you mean Muma's lack of elemental affinity in its title? I'm confused. Feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken.

I actually love that in-joke. Giving Olga, the flattest of the flat, a territory named ブレスト, and she ended up being overwhelmed by the size of it her self-confidence crumbled and she ran away.

Gonna be funny if this series somehow ends up connected with the author's other works and suddenly the Viralts are revealed to be actual dragons in weapon form much like in his other series.
That's actually quite likely.
Iskatar is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
action, ecchi, fantasy, harem, light novel, mf bunko j, politics, romance, seinen

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:08.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We use Silk.