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Old 2013-08-26, 01:55   Link #4321
Ashaman
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Age: 24
The thing is allfictions, I don't mind the Engrish being sorted out, or the characters aged up.

Take Maika for example. I don't mind that she's no longer a Maid. What gets me is that she's swapped the Maid cliche for the computer/hacker genius cliche. Its swapping and cliche for a cliche, and what's worse is that we've got the same skill set in Uiharu.

Then there is the Touma is a Level 1 deal and how IPD works, and the more I think on it, the less sense it makes.

And then there is Index with her magic and that's great, but it knee-jerks my reaction into think "Oh, so while you've made everyone else more competent, you've made the antagonists less competent"
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Old 2013-08-26, 01:56   Link #4322
demino_hellsin
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so... chinese index syndrome?
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Old 2013-08-26, 02:03   Link #4323
FallenHero
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
spelling error, probably from rush typing but pretty good.
Thanks!

Could you point out the spelling error? I'm not seeing any red squiggles, so I'm assuming it's the "Technically spelled right, but is the completely wrong word" problem.
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Old 2013-08-26, 02:09   Link #4324
demino_hellsin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenHero View Post
Alright, I have a prologue for a fanfiction that I have been entertaining in my head for a while. The premise is that Touma is going to go a journey to learn about his past. Simple. I'm planning on having him learn his past from the perspective of different people and the damaged letters he wrote to his parents. "Unreliable Narrator" is going to be a thing.

The prologue is set in the brief moment he reunites with Index at the end of the 22th Volume. I wanted to show his inner thoughts in this piece and show what lead to him wanting to pursue his lost past. I will admit right now that I am not delusional enough to believe that I'm a good writer. Any suggestions and criticism would be wonderful.

Spoiler for Prologue Draft:
just one word I noticed really.

Taking a page from Omega's book, what if Touma was really OP? But not physically?
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Old 2013-08-26, 02:41   Link #4325
omega253
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Hey, I have a little problem that I need help on. Do I need to have read all of the Light Novels in order to make a respectable AU fic? Because most of my information is from a metric ton of wiki-walking. Is the TAMNI wiki a valid place to get information on the various story arcs? Including the SS Volumes and all that.

Please, I need to know!
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Old 2013-08-26, 02:52   Link #4326
demino_hellsin
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reading the actual novels are only effective to see the proper context of events and character mannerisms. For proper AU, the most required is character mannerisms, quirks and what makes a them, them. Canon divergence is normal for AU so event context isn't so important unless you want to apply certain events. Wikis and actual source material are complimentary in world building so its better to have both on hand instead of one or the other.

ofcourse this is by personal opinion.
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Old 2013-08-26, 03:03   Link #4327
Chaos2Frozen
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Depends on what exactly is your AU about.
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Old 2013-08-26, 03:05   Link #4328
omega253
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Ah, it's a fic called To Ascend on fanfiction.net.
The main change in the AU is OP!Touma and how it influences the story line.
Here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9605098/1/To-Ascend
Tell me what you think of it so far. I've already made quite a few changes to the Index Arc.

Don't leave any criticism out because I want to get every bit of advice that I can to make this a decent fic.
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Old 2013-08-26, 03:55   Link #4329
demino_hellsin
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why does he have super strength anyway? That has always confused me.

Spoiler for devil survivor Ruiko:

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2013-08-26 at 05:44.
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Old 2013-08-26, 07:33   Link #4330
omega253
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
why does he have super strength anyway? That has always confused me.

Spoiler for devil survivor Ruiko:
Well, that was a good snippet.

As for the super strength, it's just another aspect of his physical enhancements.
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Old 2013-08-26, 07:51   Link #4331
demino_hellsin
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He had enhancements done on him?
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Old 2013-08-26, 08:00   Link #4332
omega253
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
He had enhancements done on him?
I suppose I should elaborate.

In this AU story, I am putting my own interpretation on Touma's abilities. As in, the Imagine Breaker and that power he used to suppress the Invisible Thing. That power (I am calling it the Mysterious Power) is Touma's original and true ability. He uses a slight trickle of its energy to boost his body beyond its human limits with detriments. It's one aspect of the Mysterious Power's usage. Touma can handle the power because it was his original ability and his body has grown accustomed to it.

Touma doesn't bring out the more powerful aspects of his abilities unless his opponent is strong enough.

But the Kiharas did try to do experiments on him. They failed to actually gain any information of relevance or any samples because Touma is indestructible, but they still tried.

Does that help? Honestly, I just want to write a story where Touma is OP without screwing anything over. Well, besides the plotline anyway.
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Old 2013-08-26, 08:36   Link #4333
demino_hellsin
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Shouldn't IB interrupt the mysterious power? I mean IB keeps it at bay.

so no one has any idea how it would impact the story if the grimoires in index are all gone? :-?

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2013-08-26 at 08:50.
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Old 2013-08-26, 09:05   Link #4334
omega253
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Shouldn't IB interrupt the mysterious power? I mean IB keeps it at bay.

so no one has any idea how it would impact the story if the grimoires in index are all gone? :-?
The Imagine Breaker is only keeping out the Invisible Thing while the Mysterious Power is just at the side, undeterred by the seal. But what I meant by super strength/speed on Touma is that, the things he is doing is only a tiny, watered-down version of what he can do at his full power. What he's doing is just using his natural physique.

For Index having no grimoires, it would change a lot of arcs. Yamisaka Ouma would not hunt her, Aureolus would not trigger the Deep Blood Arc, hell, would Index even meet Touma?

The point is, a complete AU would be needed and in-depth research would be needed to find out how much Index and her grimoires influenced the story.
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Old 2013-08-26, 09:13   Link #4335
demino_hellsin
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Mmm... the idea is that Touma destroys the grimoires by the end of the index arc.
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Old 2013-08-26, 17:04   Link #4336
omega253
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
Mmm... the idea is that Touma destroys the grimoires by the end of the index arc.
Hoo boy.... First off, would Touma's memories be destroyed? That's a personal question. Second, if word got out that Touma can destroy grimoires, he will be hunted down or wanted for recruitment.

Is it wrong that I can somehow imagine this idea leading to a Touma Kamijou/Laura Stuart pairing? She would be interested in how he destroyed all the grimoires and the Kami-yan disease would do the rest.

Anyway, if Index loses the grimoires, then she wouldn't be kidnapped by Yamisaka or Fiamma of the Right. There is also the fact that she will basically be a defenseless girl unless someone actually decides to teach her magic.
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Old 2013-08-26, 18:13   Link #4337
demino_hellsin
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I'm pretty sure Touma's memories would stay intact.

Laura would be pretty interested for sure because in this case, IB has grown more powerful than it ever should have.

I believe that IB exists in Touma's right arm as a counter balance to the invisible thing and the mysterious power. Othinus once crushed this invisible thing saying it was disappointing. I assumed because its growth was hindered by IB.

What if IB could not hinder its growth? What if all IB could do to keep the invisible thing in check was to grow along with it?

This Touma would have a more extreme version of IB. So much so he has to wear an arm length glove to keep its effects on ambient supernatural to the minimum. He actually has to learn how to control the negating field due to how big and how powerful it has become. He has various forms for them which include but are not limited to:
-shield
-claw
-armor
-sword
-shot
-field
His negating abilities have evolved to the point that he can actually negate a saint's powers and reduce them to a normal human for as long as he holds them. Assuming his IB encompasses the whole person.

His greatest problem is that if he stretches IB too much, the invisible thing will attempt to escape and in the process, blow his arm from the inside out.
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Old 2013-08-26, 18:17   Link #4338
omega253
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Oh damn, that's a really good idea.

As for Othinus, I think the only reason she crushed the Invisible Thing is because of the whole Majin probability thing. If you factor in Touma's horrible luck, the battle would almost always go into Othinus's favor unless Touma can stop the Imagine Breaker from nullifying his luck.
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Old 2013-08-26, 18:20   Link #4339
demino_hellsin
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Something I find interesting in the idea is that this puts Touma within a fighting chance against saints. Mind you saints are experienced combatants, Kamijou is still just a highschooler. Kanzaki is a martial artist while aqua is just plain huge. I still think it'd make for an interesting fight.
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Old 2013-08-26, 18:25   Link #4340
omega253
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True. You forgot to add that Acqua is a veteran mercenary with possibly decades of battle experience. It would be quite an awesome fight. That thing about Touma destroying all the grimoires..... How, though? Would the Imagine Breaker destroy them through contact with Index's head? Or does Index in John's Pen Mode do something to take off Touma's right arm and the Invisible Thing removes all the knowledge from Index?

I just found something else that could happen. The Invisible Thing transfers the knowledge of the grimoires from Index to Touma. He isn't affected by the corruption because of the Imagine Breaker. This could also be the perfect way for it to evolve. The Imagine Breaker has to evolve to handle the strain of the grimoires.
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