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Old 2013-09-14, 13:59   Link #21
SummeryDreams
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Join Date: Jul 2013
uuuhhmmm... As a graduate, I guess my advice is.... Choose your friends. Believe me, it's effective.
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Old 2013-09-14, 14:58   Link #22
SaintessHeart
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummeryDreams View Post
uuuhhmmm... As a graduate, I guess my advice is.... Choose your friends. Believe me, it's effective.
That is called taking cognitive dissonance to the social level.

I am glad I don't choose my friends; I have made friends with gangsters, druggies, hackers, nerds, mentally handicapped, scholars, plus a whole lot of funny people from all walks of life. There are some who will enforce their ideas upon you, but those that respect your freedom of choice are your real friends.

I would never have found out how disgusting weed tastes and the crazy after-effects if not for one of them. Or how silly crossplaying can be.
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Old 2013-09-14, 16:40   Link #23
Dextro
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Age: 27
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I know I shouldn't be surprised to find so many fellow alcohol abstainers here but I still am.

I can fully relate to those who mentioned feeling pressured into drinking when out with friends. It's actually something that happens to me all the time, even in family settings, when people inevitably try to push a beer or a glass of wine on me. It annoys me to no end and I get the felling that I just want to get the hell out of there. About the worst thing that can happen to me in any social setting is to feel like people are judging me on account of me not drinking and, because of it, I tend to avoid most social outings. I'm already a bit shy and don't feel particularly comfortable meeting new people and, given that most of the outings seem to revolve around drinking some kind of alcoholic beverage, it seems to dry out my pool of outings.

I don't have any desire to start drinking but sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like I'm somehow "not part of the group" because of it. I feel perfectly fine as I am but it does get kind of lonely at times and I start considering caving in. I won't though. I made my decision and stick by it but there's some pretty major pressure around me due to my choices and, like Dawnstorm mentioned, I might just blow up eventually due to it. Actually I witnessed such an example just last week when having launch with some coworkers.

A guy from a different department with whom I had never happened to have lunch with started hazing me a bit exactly for the fact that I don't drink. The usual stuff, nothing major but it does gets a bit annoying. I just did my usual thing: yellow smile and say no thanks till they give up. Then one of my coworkers just blew up about that. He does drink himself but was really annoyed at that particular kind of peer pressure. Turns out he had an alcoholic father so you can easily see why he would be feeling a bit uncomfortable at the sight of someone pressuring another to drink alcohol.

I just wish more of the kind of folks that pressure people to drink like it was the most normal thing in the world would have witnessed that. You should always avoid pressuring people into doing anything, you never know the full background of people around you and you may just happen to inadvertently touch on a sore spot like it happened there. Sadly most people will just keep imposing their views of what's normal on other people without ever being called on the possible nefarious side-effects of said pressuring.

Also, given the time of year were in, I'm reminded of the kind of pressuring that goes on during freshman receptions at schools and universities the world over but I think I've said more than enough in one post (and also I'm kind of getting tired of arguing with people that just don't understand that they are pressuring freshman into their hazing rituals so I'll just skip it for now).
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Old 2013-09-15, 01:40   Link #24
SummeryDreams
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
That is called taking cognitive dissonance to the social level.

I am glad I don't choose my friends; I have made friends with gangsters, druggies, hackers, nerds, mentally handicapped, scholars, plus a whole lot of funny people from all walks of life. There are some who will enforce their ideas upon you, but those that respect your freedom of choice are your real friends.

I would never have found out how disgusting weed tastes and the crazy after-effects if not for one of them. Or how silly crossplaying can be.
Sorry if I haven't elaborated my comment there because I'm a bit sleepy when I typed those, but the thought of that is, to choose friends who will give you freedom to choose what's best for you. I mean, if they want you to try something, and you don't want to, they should respect it. I have this bestfriend during my highschool. He was the leader of our teacher's so called, 'bad set of friends'. He always keeps me away from danger. He used to tell me that I shouldn't be doing this because among all of us, I'm the only one who's up for a good future in schooling. When they are hunting some gags and want to beat them, my role was always to keep his phone and be far away from the scene, and when sh*t happens, I should be the one who will call for backup. So if trouble happens, I will always be at the far rear, away from both enemies and allies, and will just look at them beating sh*ts, and when the time comes that I think that they are in danger, I'll dial his brother through his own phone for backup. Another is weed, they all get their sh*ts from weeds, but non of my closest friends had forced me to try one, not even convince me. I was about to try it though, but they refused to hand it to me, because they told me I've got hesitations in my mind and shouldn't be doing it as well. Something like this. Not bad influence but they are bad. lol
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