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Old 2013-10-15, 10:38   Link #5521
MrTerrorist
Takao Tsundere Cruiser
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Classified
I had a weird dream. An erotic dream.

It was about my fanfic idea that all the known Level 5s are female and fall in love with Touma.
In this dream, the six girls agreed that three of them will spend a week with Touma while the other three get their turn next week.
So the dream went normal where the girls (Mikoto, Mugino and Misaki) doing couple stuff with Touma.
And then things went steamy........Very steamy.

Words cannot describe what i dreamt so i can only give you these clues.

A King size bed.
The girls in erotic nightwear and lingerie.
Lots of moaning and sweating.
Five or possibly six times being satisfied.
And it ended with a four way kiss.

........ I have no idea how i came up with that.
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Old 2013-10-15, 11:22   Link #5522
Draco Spirit
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hormones?
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Old 2013-10-15, 11:37   Link #5523
R.LocK
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^^Reading too much Campione?
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Old 2013-10-15, 11:41   Link #5524
the one above all
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reading too many doujins before going to sleep?
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Old 2013-10-15, 12:02   Link #5525
MrTerrorist
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I think it was this upcoming game.
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Old 2013-10-15, 15:34   Link #5526
omega253
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Hey, Demino. I remember that you were fascinated with Vento of the Front for some reason and found some pics of her without all of the piercings and make-up. See them for yourself and check whether or not you can make another Vento snippet.

Spoiler for Vento without make-up and piercings:


Interesting, aren't they?
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Old 2013-10-15, 19:10   Link #5527
Goldzero
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by omega253 View Post
Hey, Demino. I remember that you were fascinated with Vento of the Front for some reason and found some pics of her without all of the piercings and make-up. See them for yourself and check whether or not you can make another Vento snippet.

Spoiler for Vento without make-up and piercings:


Interesting, aren't they?
why did she had all those piercings again?
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Old 2013-10-15, 19:58   Link #5528
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
.... No pantsu route, definitely no pantsu route.

So did Saten turn out to be correct or should I rewrite the whole scenario?
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Old 2013-10-15, 19:59   Link #5529
omega253
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goldzero View Post
why did she had all those piercings again?
It's to help with her magic.

Here's an excerpt from the wiki explaining why she looked so.... well, the way she did.

Quote:
Divine Punishment (天罰術式, Tembatsu Jutsushiki?, lit. Damnation Arts) is a large-scale surpression magic spell which applies the logic that no one should bare any menace towards God, if so, punishment will apply.[2] As explained by Idol Theory, using the significance of being pierced by steel in Christianity,[1] such as the piercings on her face that bears the attribute of the nails that pierced the Son of God to the cross, and the hammer that she carries which bears the attribute of the hammer that nailed him to the cross.[12] Because of this Vento of the Front can symbolically mimic the Son of God's body during his crucifixion, as such she is practically substituting herself as God for the Divine Punishment to work. In combination of her now already intimidating looks, she uses provocative speech patterns as well to incite hostility to successfully trigger Divine Punishment.[2]

This magic literally strips people of their consciousness if they ever bear any ill will to Vento of the Front. The spell is a large-scale one considering that it can affect anyone in the world,[9] regardless of distance or knowledge of Vento of the Front.[2] For example a person hears on the news that an intruder (Vento of the Front) has invaded Academy City and the person bears ill will to the intruder, then that person will activate and receive Divine Punishment. The spell works by stripping away oxygen inside the victim's body, leaving the minimum necessary amount as to not hinder brain and organ functions, forcing the physical body to go into a state like an animal's hibernation period in order to preserve survival.[13] It is also stated by Index that there maybe certain stages in response to hostility given to the user such as depriving consciousness, body-binding, and even preventing interference from the outside.[2]
Do you understand?

@demino_hellsin:

I take it you liked the images? Personally, I like the second one better.
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Old 2013-10-15, 20:07   Link #5530
demino_hellsin
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She looks oh so very moe ^_^

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2013-10-15 at 21:15.
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Old 2013-10-15, 22:23   Link #5531
allfictions
Of Infinite Resignation
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Canada
Age: 20
Eh, been a while since I last posted here. So, besides real life coming up to keep me occupied, I decided to stop procrastinating and started working on this. I guess my major motivation was the fact that fanfiction admin finally added ''Saronia A. Irivika'' and ''Kihara Enshuu'' to the list of characters available for the tags following an email I sent them. Only problem, Misaka 10777 is not there and I remember asking for her! Ugh, such misfortune, guess I have to send them another email, huh?

(on a side note, Aureolus Izzard, Himegami, Sasha Kreutzev, Ollerus and Othinus have been added thanks to me, and Arisa, Shutaura, and Leivinia have been ignored )

Anyway, bottom line is, I need some feedback. Harsh criticism is highly appreciated, so don't hold back.
Without further ado:
Spoiler for Winter of the World:

Heavy Object-style title, plus reference to a song of one of my favorite band . Hope you like the COD MW-style timestamp. Thought I'd use it for this fic.

A couple of head ups:
SAR — Special Administrative Region
R&D program — Research and development program
And before someone point it out, yes, Clement XVI is the name of the Pope in Mass Effect, I figured that I should give the Pope an official and appropriate name since Kamachi-sensei didn't bother

So yeah, exposition. That's the main reason I am kinda unsatisfied with this, too much words and description all over the place, and not that much dialogue. I have difficulty seeing what I should and what I should not expose and describe, so I end up pouring too much. After this, Jonah speaks to Kasper Hekmatyar and the discussion serves to do more exposition (principally AC and Russia's military might but also a bit about the September Space race, might as well try to fit the Endymion bit), albeit in a more relaxed way. I tried to put all the extra info in the discussion as to not render the intro too heavy, but I obviously failed. I want to desribe how much of a Crapsack world it is and try to put some reality in the politics because, let's be honest, Kamachi-sensei seems to have no idea how real-world politics work.

By the way, the depressing state of the world? Most of it comes from the final episode of Jormungand The only things I added was the destruction of Tel Aviv (but not the war in the Middle East) and the EU having petrol platforms in Antartica, that's it. I even left some of the more over-the-top stuff, like Big Ben being blown up (I kid you not) and Russia changing into the NUSSR, the New Soviet Union, and starting the Cold War yet again.

Anyway, you get the drill, like they say on FF.net, please review!

I also decided that I too will announce when my favorite fics update:
Suzumiya no Index chapter 23 up since the 11th. A crossover (by now, you should know my love of those)

One of my top favorites, it has my full approval and recommendation. And this is not because, fun fact, it is actually the first fanfic I read, 2 years ago. It's because it is one of the few crossovers I read that was actually done right, the two universes mesh so well together this fic might as well have been canon. You might get confused by the timeline though, all I can say is that it takes place after Shiage joined ITEM, but in a timeline when the 0930 Incident didn't occur, yet Accelerator mentions fighting the Hound Dogs, and the Skill-Out uprising obviously happen even without the circumstances surrounding it. Confusing, but you can manage.
Be warned though, this is more of a fic focusing more on the Suzumiya cast rather than the Raildex cast, but it's still enjoyable, look forward to the character interactions, the main good point of this fic. And if Ferret reads this...wait till you see Mugino, who is...yeah, can't really reveal anything, too spoilery

Oh, and the fic is on TvTropes. With its own page.

Anecdote: by looking at the archives, it seems the author, Hyakimaru, used to be a member of the forums before his/her hiatus (when I saw that the fic updated in my Alerts, I screamed like a little girl)

Other fic of interest: He Will Surely Save, chapter 5 is up. Highly recommended, if only because Beetle 05 is the MC. Funny at first, but now a plot seems to slowly form.
Also, everyone falling prey to the Kami-yan disease, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone.
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Last edited by allfictions; 2013-10-16 at 01:10.
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Old 2013-10-16, 00:22   Link #5532
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
What if... Kamijou-san is already going in his thirties. Still feeding the freeloading Index and working a boring desk job that offers below average wage? Add his misfortunes and he honestly has no time for anything else. Both Mr. and Mrs. Kamijou are quite eager to meet their grandchildren so one day Kamijou-san got a large crate on his 31st birthday. He opened it and found it stuffed with folders upon folders upon folders of information and pictures of... women. He quickly called his parents to see what was going on and they explained that they had put up a public ad for an omiai with their son. So begins open season on a certain unfortunate soul.

------

"This is the time."

"Uwaaa!"

"That girl is the dragon priestess. She governs the shrines of north, east, south and west."

"Dragons are the same as angels, just masses of telesma given definite form."

"We must keep a new angel from being born."

"What will you do? If she joins with the dragon or if you destroy the dragon, she dies either way. The two are intrinsically linked as one yet separate existences."

"I-"

"Onii-chan I'm scared!"

"I-"

"Touma-onii-chaaaaan!"

"OTOHIMEEEE!!!!"

--------------------

Sorry AF, I can't touch Jormungand just as you can't touch SMT

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2013-10-16 at 01:24.
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Old 2013-10-16, 04:07   Link #5533
SmokinFerret88
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: The darkest corner with the best view...
..::ATTENTION!!!::..

A Certain World of Darkness has been updated.

..::THAT IS ALL!!!::..
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Old 2013-10-16, 04:16   Link #5534
Draco Spirit
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by allfictions View Post
Eh, been a while since I last posted here. So, besides real life coming up to keep me occupied, I decided to stop procrastinating and started working on this. I guess my major motivation was the fact that fanfiction admin finally added ''Saronia A. Irivika'' and ''Kihara Enshuu'' to the list of characters available for the tags following an email I sent them. Only problem, Misaka 10777 is not there and I remember asking for her! Ugh, such misfortune, guess I have to send them another email, huh?

(on a side note, Aureolus Izzard, Himegami, Sasha Kreutzev, Ollerus and Othinus have been added thanks to me, and Arisa, Shutaura, and Leivinia have been ignored )
They could do with a sort of general MISAKA Network tag IMHO. Say you wanted to do a fanfic about Misaka 00006, you wouldn't really have a tag you could use, so you might just end up putting 10032, to catch people looking for stories about the Sister's in general.
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Old 2013-10-16, 06:26   Link #5535
demino_hellsin
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Spoiler for AIM Touma versus Kamijou Touma logic:
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Old 2013-10-16, 11:41   Link #5536
Ilidsor
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Location: Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by allfictions View Post
Eh, been a while since I last posted here. So, besides real life coming up to keep me occupied, I decided to stop procrastinating and started working on this. I guess my major motivation was the fact that fanfiction admin finally added ''Saronia A. Irivika'' and ''Kihara Enshuu'' to the list of characters available for the tags following an email I sent them. Only problem, Misaka 10777 is not there and I remember asking for her! Ugh, such misfortune, guess I have to send them another email, huh?

(on a side note, Aureolus Izzard, Himegami, Sasha Kreutzev, Ollerus and Othinus have been added thanks to me, and Arisa, Shutaura, and Leivinia have been ignored )

Anyway, bottom line is, I need some feedback. Harsh criticism is highly appreciated, so don't hold back.
Well I can't really think of any criticism, so I can't help you there. The only problem is that I haven't read/seen/heard of Jormungand so I don't really know the characters or what's going on.

@SmokinFerret: That was a good chapter, are you actually planning on having Touma join judgment?

@demino: AIM Touma?
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Old 2013-10-16, 11:49   Link #5537
demino_hellsin
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Join Date: Nov 2011
my version of dark Touma a few dozen pages back. An AIM being that is the coalescence of all ESPERS that have experienced the worst end of the darkside. Child errors, underground hit teams, skill outs, everyone. AIM Touma is composed of their powers and their memories of suffering. He is the crystallization of their hopes and dreams and his right arm simulates the rumored "negating" effect of a certain level 0. This is done by reverse engineering supernatura phenomena caused by espers and applying it across the board.
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Old 2013-10-16, 12:26   Link #5538
the one above all
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
my version of dark Touma a few dozen pages back. An AIM being that is the coalescence of all ESPERS that have experienced the worst end of the darkside. Child errors, underground hit teams, skill outs, everyone. AIM Touma is composed of their powers and their memories of suffering. He is the crystallization of their hopes and dreams and his right arm simulates the rumored "negating" effect of a certain level 0. This is done by reverse engineering supernatura phenomena caused by espers and applying it across the board.
Do you plan of making a fic about AIM touma or are you just gonna make snippets
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Old 2013-10-16, 12:43   Link #5539
demino_hellsin
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Join Date: Nov 2011
he's supposed to be an antagonist in crippledTouma story. But all level 5 girls will be involved and I can't write Mugino for crap. So just snippets when depressed.
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Old 2013-10-16, 21:17   Link #5540
SmokinFerret88
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: The darkest corner with the best view...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilidsor View Post
@SmokinFerret: That was a good chapter, are you actually planning on having Touma join judgment?
Thanks, and sorry it took a day to answer the question. Anyway, the answer to that is no, he won't join Judgment. The reason for that is because, well, this story is about Touma's struggles with entering and participating in the Dark Side of academy city.

Maybe, should I ever see an end of my Darkness Project, then I may do a Judgment Touma story. Can't promise nothing, but I can't deny that he would be a great candidate...especially if I were to have Gunha as his partner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
he's supposed to be an antagonist in crippledTouma story. But all level 5 girls will be involved and I can't write Mugino for crap. So just snippets when depressed.
That statement alone is complete and utter crap demino!

Your last attempt at Mugino was well within the range of believability considering it was only your second attempt at writing her(from what I've seen at least). It wasn't a bad interpretation of her, it worked, and you have this Ferret's support; since I'm apparently the Mugino expert in terms of writing. So don't get all depressed, give yourself more credit, and remember you can always ask me for help if you have problems or questions in regards to how to write her.

It's why I'm here, after-all; for this Ferret is more than happy to lend a hand(paw) to anyone who asks.
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Mugino is Love.

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Shizuri's my Dove.

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