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Old 2013-10-15, 02:47   Link #5521
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
How about this?

------------------------------------------------------


Saten waved her friends goodbye. It was afterschool and she had found herself unwilling to do some karaoke nor visit Uiharu at the judgement office. She's been less and less of those lately, the things she normally does that is.

She looks down at her phone. A folder in her inbox is blnking.

Laplace

There were three new mails in there. She's been getting them daily ever since that day. Her thumb hovered over the confirmation button, her face a mask of uncertainty as to what to do. After all, what would you do if you knew somewhere at some point in time, somebody was going to die and you know exactly how. They could be a stranger, they could be someone you know. It didn't distinguish between anyone. It seemed almost at random, the information would be arbitrarily given. Like a random call for help.

What could Saten do but heed that call?

At the start, Saten didn't pay it much mind. She had survived her ordeal, she was confident others could survive theirs. Laplace was probably real, but it was not accurate. That was what she believed and that was what she thought all that time. Until the day of her discharge from the hospital.

Laplace mail had warned her that an old man would be run over that day. She paid it no mind like usual. Getting run over was easily overcome, more so than her own trial of being raped and murdered. She was at the crosswalk then. Many people were walking, but one person in the scramble caught her eye. An old man hobbled along, alone and seemingly swept by the tide of people. Saten could not move to assist him in this dense number of moving bodies. Then someone screamed.

Metal crashed and panic rippled through the masses. Saten checked to see the source was an out of control truck careening down the street. People were getting out of the way as unfortunate cars that failed to do so were crushed underneath its girth. Saten motioned to make a break for it herself, but the forecast of death from Laplace held her in place.

Where was the old man?

She looked around in a panic. An old man was to be run over in the scramble crossing of the 7th district. It was to happen that morning right around the same time she was discharged. The moment of death foretold. It was this moment!

Saten found the old man pushed down on the ground. Her body moved, pushing against people who ran opposite her way. She tried to fight, she tried to push. But even as she did, she the terrified look on the old man's face. She watched his eyes flicker like he was watching his life flash before his eyes. Then she saw a number that she had not noticed resting over his head.

0

Deathclock. That was the name of that number's identity. Saten read about it in the supplementary tutorial documents provided along with the welcoming letter of Laplace. The numbers over a person's head represented the number of days left to live. And any number over 3 would not be shown.

0 days to live. The moment of death was now!

SPLAT!

Blood flew everywhere. The truck crushed the old man and scattered blood and viscera everywhere like a squeezed grape. Everything was red. The metallic smell of blood nauseously reminded her of the hospital. The smell of blood mixed in with antiseptic. Brief flashes of the night of her own ordeal flashed before her eyes before she emptied her stomach's contents and promptly passed out.

Ever since that day, Saten believed strongly in Laplace prophecy. Everyday, she would obtain the information necessary to save someone. Everyday, she obtained the means to save someone. And yet, everyday she arrived only in time to watch them die. In the end, everytime Saten set out to save someone, she could only watch the oppurtunity slip away with their life.

The last failure was three days ago. She watched a man be devoured by demons. His desecrated corpse left with gaping hollows as his innards had been scooped out as a snack. She screamed, screamed and unleashed her own demons to decimate those that wandered her home.

After that, she stopped. She couldn't open the mails anymore. Her heart wouldn't let her. She would break the next time she failed to save the next victim.

But today's mail was different. It was named specifically to her with the word: "URGENT!"

Saten hesitated. She didn't want to watch someone die again. But it was named for her. It was something specifically for her. This information would be relevant to her and only her.

She bit her lip.

Click

Her thumb pressed down heavily on the plastic numpad. The screen opened up to a custom font mail.

Welcome to Laplace

October 14

Today's event is a large scale riot at 7th mist after school. The event starts 4:30 PM. Espers of all levels will clash with anti-skill and Judgement in a jumbled conflict. Casualties will number 147, one of which is Judgement officer Shirai Kuroko after she is shot 3 times by an anti-skill rifle. Thank you and have a nice da-

TACK!

Saten flipped her phone shut. Her feet already running before she could even process the contents of her mail. She did not truly understand the system of demons or Laplace. She did not know the mechanics well enough to change fate successfully like she did to her own. She didn't have the strength nor the qualifications of a hero that allowed them to succeed where others fail. But her heart's conviction screamed one thing.

"I won't let my friends die."
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Old 2013-10-15, 10:38   Link #5522
MrTerrorist
Takao Tsundere Cruiser
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Classified
I had a weird dream. An erotic dream.

It was about my fanfic idea that all the known Level 5s are female and fall in love with Touma.
In this dream, the six girls agreed that three of them will spend a week with Touma while the other three get their turn next week.
So the dream went normal where the girls (Mikoto, Mugino and Misaki) doing couple stuff with Touma.
And then things went steamy........Very steamy.

Words cannot describe what i dreamt so i can only give you these clues.

A King size bed.
The girls in erotic nightwear and lingerie.
Lots of moaning and sweating.
Five or possibly six times being satisfied.
And it ended with a four way kiss.

........ I have no idea how i came up with that.
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Old 2013-10-15, 11:22   Link #5523
Draco Spirit
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hormones?
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Old 2013-10-15, 11:37   Link #5524
R.LocK
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^^Reading too much Campione?
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Old 2013-10-15, 11:41   Link #5525
the one above all
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Location: America
reading too many doujins before going to sleep?
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Old 2013-10-15, 12:02   Link #5526
MrTerrorist
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Classified
I think it was this upcoming game.
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Old 2013-10-15, 15:34   Link #5527
omega253
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Hey, Demino. I remember that you were fascinated with Vento of the Front for some reason and found some pics of her without all of the piercings and make-up. See them for yourself and check whether or not you can make another Vento snippet.

Spoiler for Vento without make-up and piercings:


Interesting, aren't they?
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Old 2013-10-15, 19:10   Link #5528
Goldzero
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by omega253 View Post
Hey, Demino. I remember that you were fascinated with Vento of the Front for some reason and found some pics of her without all of the piercings and make-up. See them for yourself and check whether or not you can make another Vento snippet.

Spoiler for Vento without make-up and piercings:


Interesting, aren't they?
why did she had all those piercings again?
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Old 2013-10-15, 19:58   Link #5529
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
.... No pantsu route, definitely no pantsu route.

So did Saten turn out to be correct or should I rewrite the whole scenario?
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Old 2013-10-15, 19:59   Link #5530
omega253
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goldzero View Post
why did she had all those piercings again?
It's to help with her magic.

Here's an excerpt from the wiki explaining why she looked so.... well, the way she did.

Quote:
Divine Punishment (天罰術式, Tembatsu Jutsushiki?, lit. Damnation Arts) is a large-scale surpression magic spell which applies the logic that no one should bare any menace towards God, if so, punishment will apply.[2] As explained by Idol Theory, using the significance of being pierced by steel in Christianity,[1] such as the piercings on her face that bears the attribute of the nails that pierced the Son of God to the cross, and the hammer that she carries which bears the attribute of the hammer that nailed him to the cross.[12] Because of this Vento of the Front can symbolically mimic the Son of God's body during his crucifixion, as such she is practically substituting herself as God for the Divine Punishment to work. In combination of her now already intimidating looks, she uses provocative speech patterns as well to incite hostility to successfully trigger Divine Punishment.[2]

This magic literally strips people of their consciousness if they ever bear any ill will to Vento of the Front. The spell is a large-scale one considering that it can affect anyone in the world,[9] regardless of distance or knowledge of Vento of the Front.[2] For example a person hears on the news that an intruder (Vento of the Front) has invaded Academy City and the person bears ill will to the intruder, then that person will activate and receive Divine Punishment. The spell works by stripping away oxygen inside the victim's body, leaving the minimum necessary amount as to not hinder brain and organ functions, forcing the physical body to go into a state like an animal's hibernation period in order to preserve survival.[13] It is also stated by Index that there maybe certain stages in response to hostility given to the user such as depriving consciousness, body-binding, and even preventing interference from the outside.[2]
Do you understand?

@demino_hellsin:

I take it you liked the images? Personally, I like the second one better.
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Old 2013-10-15, 20:07   Link #5531
demino_hellsin
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Join Date: Nov 2011
She looks oh so very moe ^_^

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2013-10-15 at 21:15.
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Old 2013-10-15, 22:23   Link #5532
allfictions
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Canada
Age: 19
Eh, been a while since I last posted here. So, besides real life coming up to keep me occupied, I decided to stop procrastinating and started working on this. I guess my major motivation was the fact that fanfiction admin finally added ''Saronia A. Irivika'' and ''Kihara Enshuu'' to the list of characters available for the tags following an email I sent them. Only problem, Misaka 10777 is not there and I remember asking for her! Ugh, such misfortune, guess I have to send them another email, huh?

(on a side note, Aureolus Izzard, Himegami, Sasha Kreutzev, Ollerus and Othinus have been added thanks to me, and Arisa, Shutaura, and Leivinia have been ignored )

Anyway, bottom line is, I need some feedback. Harsh criticism is highly appreciated, so don't hold back.
Without further ado:
Spoiler for Winter of the World:

Heavy Object-style title, plus reference to a song of one of my favorite band . Hope you like the COD MW-style timestamp. Thought I'd use it for this fic.

A couple of head ups:
SAR — Special Administrative Region
R&D program — Research and development program
And before someone point it out, yes, Clement XVI is the name of the Pope in Mass Effect, I figured that I should give the Pope an official and appropriate name since Kamachi-sensei didn't bother

So yeah, exposition. That's the main reason I am kinda unsatisfied with this, too much words and description all over the place, and not that much dialogue. I have difficulty seeing what I should and what I should not expose and describe, so I end up pouring too much. After this, Jonah speaks to Kasper Hekmatyar and the discussion serves to do more exposition (principally AC and Russia's military might but also a bit about the September Space race, might as well try to fit the Endymion bit), albeit in a more relaxed way. I tried to put all the extra info in the discussion as to not render the intro too heavy, but I obviously failed. I want to desribe how much of a Crapsack world it is and try to put some reality in the politics because, let's be honest, Kamachi-sensei seems to have no idea how real-world politics work.

By the way, the depressing state of the world? Most of it comes from the final episode of Jormungand The only things I added was the destruction of Tel Aviv (but not the war in the Middle East) and the EU having petrol platforms in Antartica, that's it. I even left some of the more over-the-top stuff, like Big Ben being blown up (I kid you not) and Russia changing into the NUSSR, the New Soviet Union, and starting the Cold War yet again.

Anyway, you get the drill, like they say on FF.net, please review!

I also decided that I too will announce when my favorite fics update:
Suzumiya no Index chapter 23 up since the 11th. A crossover (by now, you should know my love of those)

One of my top favorites, it has my full approval and recommendation. And this is not because, fun fact, it is actually the first fanfic I read, 2 years ago. It's because it is one of the few crossovers I read that was actually done right, the two universes mesh so well together this fic might as well have been canon. You might get confused by the timeline though, all I can say is that it takes place after Shiage joined ITEM, but in a timeline when the 0930 Incident didn't occur, yet Accelerator mentions fighting the Hound Dogs, and the Skill-Out uprising obviously happen even without the circumstances surrounding it. Confusing, but you can manage.
Be warned though, this is more of a fic focusing more on the Suzumiya cast rather than the Raildex cast, but it's still enjoyable, look forward to the character interactions, the main good point of this fic. And if Ferret reads this...wait till you see Mugino, who is...yeah, can't really reveal anything, too spoilery

Oh, and the fic is on TvTropes. With its own page.

Anecdote: by looking at the archives, it seems the author, Hyakimaru, used to be a member of the forums before his/her hiatus (when I saw that the fic updated in my Alerts, I screamed like a little girl)

Other fic of interest: He Will Surely Save, chapter 5 is up. Highly recommended, if only because Beetle 05 is the MC. Funny at first, but now a plot seems to slowly form.
Also, everyone falling prey to the Kami-yan disease, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone.
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Last edited by allfictions; 2013-10-16 at 01:10.
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Old 2013-10-16, 00:22   Link #5533
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
What if... Kamijou-san is already going in his thirties. Still feeding the freeloading Index and working a boring desk job that offers below average wage? Add his misfortunes and he honestly has no time for anything else. Both Mr. and Mrs. Kamijou are quite eager to meet their grandchildren so one day Kamijou-san got a large crate on his 31st birthday. He opened it and found it stuffed with folders upon folders upon folders of information and pictures of... women. He quickly called his parents to see what was going on and they explained that they had put up a public ad for an omiai with their son. So begins open season on a certain unfortunate soul.

------

"This is the time."

"Uwaaa!"

"That girl is the dragon priestess. She governs the shrines of north, east, south and west."

"Dragons are the same as angels, just masses of telesma given definite form."

"We must keep a new angel from being born."

"What will you do? If she joins with the dragon or if you destroy the dragon, she dies either way. The two are intrinsically linked as one yet separate existences."

"I-"

"Onii-chan I'm scared!"

"I-"

"Touma-onii-chaaaaan!"

"OTOHIMEEEE!!!!"

--------------------

Sorry AF, I can't touch Jormungand just as you can't touch SMT

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2013-10-16 at 01:24.
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Old 2013-10-16, 04:07   Link #5534
SmokinFerret88
Comrade Ferret
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The darkest corner with the best view...
..::ATTENTION!!!::..

A Certain World of Darkness has been updated.

..::THAT IS ALL!!!::..
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How far would you go to save someone...

How much blood would you voluntarily shed for them...

How deep in the muck would you be willing to trek through to reach them...

How long would you remain defiant before submitting to the Darkness that traps them...
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Old 2013-10-16, 04:16   Link #5535
Draco Spirit
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by allfictions View Post
Eh, been a while since I last posted here. So, besides real life coming up to keep me occupied, I decided to stop procrastinating and started working on this. I guess my major motivation was the fact that fanfiction admin finally added ''Saronia A. Irivika'' and ''Kihara Enshuu'' to the list of characters available for the tags following an email I sent them. Only problem, Misaka 10777 is not there and I remember asking for her! Ugh, such misfortune, guess I have to send them another email, huh?

(on a side note, Aureolus Izzard, Himegami, Sasha Kreutzev, Ollerus and Othinus have been added thanks to me, and Arisa, Shutaura, and Leivinia have been ignored )
They could do with a sort of general MISAKA Network tag IMHO. Say you wanted to do a fanfic about Misaka 00006, you wouldn't really have a tag you could use, so you might just end up putting 10032, to catch people looking for stories about the Sister's in general.
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Old 2013-10-16, 06:26   Link #5536
demino_hellsin
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Spoiler for AIM Touma versus Kamijou Touma logic:
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Old 2013-10-16, 11:41   Link #5537
Ilidsor
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by allfictions View Post
Eh, been a while since I last posted here. So, besides real life coming up to keep me occupied, I decided to stop procrastinating and started working on this. I guess my major motivation was the fact that fanfiction admin finally added ''Saronia A. Irivika'' and ''Kihara Enshuu'' to the list of characters available for the tags following an email I sent them. Only problem, Misaka 10777 is not there and I remember asking for her! Ugh, such misfortune, guess I have to send them another email, huh?

(on a side note, Aureolus Izzard, Himegami, Sasha Kreutzev, Ollerus and Othinus have been added thanks to me, and Arisa, Shutaura, and Leivinia have been ignored )

Anyway, bottom line is, I need some feedback. Harsh criticism is highly appreciated, so don't hold back.
Well I can't really think of any criticism, so I can't help you there. The only problem is that I haven't read/seen/heard of Jormungand so I don't really know the characters or what's going on.

@SmokinFerret: That was a good chapter, are you actually planning on having Touma join judgment?

@demino: AIM Touma?
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Old 2013-10-16, 11:49   Link #5538
demino_hellsin
That one guy
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
my version of dark Touma a few dozen pages back. An AIM being that is the coalescence of all ESPERS that have experienced the worst end of the darkside. Child errors, underground hit teams, skill outs, everyone. AIM Touma is composed of their powers and their memories of suffering. He is the crystallization of their hopes and dreams and his right arm simulates the rumored "negating" effect of a certain level 0. This is done by reverse engineering supernatura phenomena caused by espers and applying it across the board.
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Old 2013-10-16, 12:26   Link #5539
the one above all
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demino_hellsin View Post
my version of dark Touma a few dozen pages back. An AIM being that is the coalescence of all ESPERS that have experienced the worst end of the darkside. Child errors, underground hit teams, skill outs, everyone. AIM Touma is composed of their powers and their memories of suffering. He is the crystallization of their hopes and dreams and his right arm simulates the rumored "negating" effect of a certain level 0. This is done by reverse engineering supernatura phenomena caused by espers and applying it across the board.
Do you plan of making a fic about AIM touma or are you just gonna make snippets
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Old 2013-10-16, 12:43   Link #5540
demino_hellsin
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Join Date: Nov 2011
he's supposed to be an antagonist in crippledTouma story. But all level 5 girls will be involved and I can't write Mugino for crap. So just snippets when depressed.
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