|2013-11-09, 04:34||Link #21|
Good OP Hunter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Hello there. I'm almost back in action, but I'm kind of split at the moment as to what I should write. My mind urges me to write about something like AKB0048 (about it's origins and the start of the revolution against DES or something) or Strike the Blood (even though it's not finished, I could write something decent in between episodes or something) or hell even Angel Beats, which would be an utter clustermind-insert F strike- about what I consider to be a very good alternate ending. I even have thoughts of rewriting about Tari Tari and a possible sequel to my work.
I was wondering if anyone could chip in and say what they'd like to read or what they would not.
I want to write, I just don't have the... patience so to speak.
|2013-11-09, 19:54||Link #22|
Operation sneaky sneaks
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Hic et ubique
Angel Beats! is the series I'm most familiar with, and one where I would enjoy seeing an alternative interpretation, or even an extension to the stories behind some of the characters. The anime was too short and felt rushed in places, so a fan fiction there about some of the character's backstories or what happens in the epilogue would be brilliant!
|2013-12-05, 02:43||Link #23|
Good OP Hunter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Her phone whistled, that was the sign that her date had gotten to the café. Just to make sure it was not some other date asking her out, she took out her pink cased smartphone from her handbag, her bracelet making a small clink when it touched the deodorant in it. Women had to be ready for anything. She took the phone out and her eyes had to adjust a little bit as she shielded them from the intense light that came from the screen. Night had fallen very quickly, even for summer, when days are supposedly longer.
“I'm here, I'll be at the table at the end of the right corridor”
She threw the phone in her bag and took out a mirror from it and quickly checked her appearance. Her make up highlighted her prominent cheekbones while here eyes were only a bit shadowed to contrast her bright yellow hair which she had dyed that morning. She quickly straightened out her clothes and pulled her skirt a bit downwards, she didn't want to look bad in front of him for the first time they met which made her notice that her blouse was a bit unrevealing. She unbottoned her blouse's top button.
The summer breeze just danced through her legs as she started walking towards the café, only to find that it was not really a café, but a bar. Shrugging it off, she went in confidently enough for her 15 years. No one asked a question so she simply strolled right and came across what she assumed was her contact. A man around his fifties was sitting alone drinking something that emanated a blue-ish light. She presumed it was alcohol, were it not, she'd be all over that drink by the end of the day.
The man's eyes sparkled to life when he saw the stunning girl sitting in front of him and for a second was unable to coordinate his mouth. The girl simply smiled and asked him if she could sit there. No one would actually refuse a girl like that a seat, but that was actually the code word they had settled on.
“Go ahead, but only for five minutes.”
The girl's smile broadened. She was not mistaken, it was him. Her face relaxed a bit more once the conversation started flowing like a river, only interrupted by the waiter's mistake at assuming that the girl was of age and offering to bring a wine. The bar itself was not really what you could call a “cool” bar, it was more of a small bar for what she assumed was people who were not interested in picking up girls but rather go out for a drink with their co-workers. The walls were covered in wood and it issued a nice comfy feel once the dim lights were taken into account. The table was also made of wood, fine polished wood which was plastered to avoid spilling drinks and damaging the wood, she guessed. She was actually interested in quite a few things around the bar and asked her new friend if he could explain, but he was also new to this area. They had, after all, arranged to meet in a neutral place.
She often did that, she didn't like meeting them close to home, nor too close to their home. Unless they were lying, which could be a possibility, but she was a pretty good stalker online which let her double check identities. Her eyes lingered for a second at the image of a girl with her dad walking down the street across de window and wondered if that's what she looked like at the moment.
The thought went nowhere when she noticed that her face resembled nothing of the man's face, and the hair, even if she had dyed it, was nothing like the man's auburn. Her's was jet black. She had decided against jet black after someone had confused her for the girl from “The Ring”. She also cut her hair shorter since then, hanging a bit below the shoulders. It happened a long time ago, but she was a bit scarred for life in that moment.
Her phone whistled at her. Annoying ringtone, isn't it? Everyone that has an android phone has that whistle noise. She couldn't help it, she only got it a few days ago after her last date, and it was too cute to throw. She made a mental note to change it to something less annoying. The thing is that everyone looks at their phone, even if you know you have it on “vibrate” you look just in case. The conversation went on about 10 minutes about how annoying that ringtone was.
By the time they had brought her the second glass of whatever she was drinking, an hour had passed. She really enjoyed herself with this man. Online dating really is a thing when you're a girl, you get to choose them. Men can also choose, but they are more limited. Even more if they don't have the... wallet of a bigger man. That is what her mother told her at least. Always look at the wallet, later at the face. If they both come together then break the champagne. If the first comes alone, then also break the champagne, as long as he pays for it. She remembered how one of her mother's dates literally broke the champagne against the wall once he found out that her mother felt nothing for him and let out a little laugh at the thought.
The man in front of her had apparently started to feel the kick of the -third- drink. It was some mix of sake with some kind of juice which she didn't hear correctly, but it wasn't really that worrying as it didn't show too much. This man could handle alcohol, at least that's what it seemed like. She glanced at her phone, it was around 9 already, time really went fast this time. So much better than her other dates with older men who were willing to pay for the dates. She never really thought she was anything special, she just thought it was a nice way to get pocket money, and her mother had even lauded her for doing that and getting pressure of her to feed her. She didn't really do it for her, but she'd have no money if she didn't do this, and once she started doing it she even had money to spare... at least when her mother didn't steal it from her.
In that regard, she was glad that she kicked her out of the house once that boyfriend of hers told her to kick her over to her dad. She sighed as she deflected a few questions off the man and answered a few texts from other men, thinking of how her dad saw her come with a bag and a letter from her mother telling him to take care of the girl because he was the dad and she didn't care for her. Her dad who was most of the day at work reluctantly took her little girl in and did his best to have her at home. Granted, she returned the favour doing some cooking for him from time to time (not that she was that great at it. She managed to burn a salad one day, don't ask how) but she was happy. She never really thought too much about home, but her mother had kicked her out of her house at the end of the last school term which means that she'll have to make the most out of the summer before being dropped into a school in which she knows no-one.
Which really isn't that much of a change from her everyday life. She had a few friends here and there in her last school, but they were either into her or wanted to use her for something. She sighed once again and realized that it was about time she left. With a nice farewell, she got her money and walked out of the comfy bar and into the hot outside. Did it get hotter while she was inside? Night had fallen and the night life had really kicked into high gear here in the city. The narrow streets were typical of Japan but nothing like a night stroll through the city. She opened the envelope with her money and found out that he had even put some extra notes in there, which she gladly took and put into her wallet.
During the walk to the station she started clearing out her makeup. She was tired and tomorrow would be a day where she had at least 3 dates with men, and she had to get some sleep or she'd have to cancel the last one to recover from a long week.
She bought a soda from a vending machine once she was at the station, she only had to go two stops before getting off, but it took a considerable amount of time off her commute to that place, so she figured she might as well go ahead, it's not like money was hard to come by for her. Her phone, now on silent for the sake of her patience, lit up like a christmas tree. She had about 10 notifications on Facebook, three mentions on twitter, two mails from the man she just saw and a call from her father. After texting her father that she'd be back home with take-away dinner she started fiddling with a game that had her hooked up. It involved a lot of fruit and a sword.
She opened the door to her home after stopping by the convinience store and buying her dad's favorite dinner. No one was home, as usual. Her dad was a paramedic which often involved him being called up at ridiculous hours or doing night shifts. She proceded to throw off all her clothes on the bed as soon as she got into her room, which was really a storage room refurbished for her. This meant it was kind of small, but she didn't need much more. She wanted a bed and a desk, the rest she'd handle. She had a tendency to go around the house in minimal clothing when no one was around, normally it'd be a big t-shirt which she had fallen in love with and a small short which made her feel free enough not to care about anything else. She wasn't really tall so she wasn't blessed with the long legs that could really go with said shorts, but she made enough of an impression on anyone with them on.
After a quick pass at the toilet, she proceded to grab her laptop, which she had bought after saving a month of money, and check her social life online. She didn't have many friends on Facebook which made her tend to avoid that place. She instead loved to use Twitter. She made it a habit to sit around reading what other people post and answering a couple of their posts on their twitter, totally random people. It was also a good way to pick up dates if one was good about it. Checking the date on her computer, she saw that she didn't have that much time until the new semester came around and a new year of school. Her only worry at the moment was when to go to school to do all the paperwork. She could go the day after tomorrow, but going to school on a Friday felt like such a waste...
She put a pop radio on her computer and simply laid back on her chair looking at the ceiling. She wondered what this year held in store for her, what with moving to a new house and changing schools. Her hair tickled her neck so she tied it up in a ponytail and decided to go watch TV while she waited for her dad to come home so they could eat.
Which turned out a bad idea because a few minutes later he told her to go ahead and eat because he had an urgent call. She didn't complain as she was starving and had an excuse to eat fast. Her father hated watching her eat fast because it reminded him of her mother. She actually ate too fast however and instantly felt her stomach complaining ordering her to lay down on the bed.
She fell asleep to the sound of music.
Author's;Notes: Well, this is my first original work. I had this in my mind for a while, and while I intended it to be a visual novel, I don't have the resources to make it one, and I opted for a light novel design for my story, which honestly feels more in sync with what I had in mind.
This work will follow the story of our little girl here and many others on their remaining years of school. It is a monumental work which I decided to take on, but I love it. I have almost the entire first year of school planned out, and there will be a lot of minor characters that are in this “season” which will be more important in the next years. All in all, I leave you with my first work. Social Fact. For those interested in the name, It's the best name I could come up with that defines the story, based off Emile Durkheim's definition of what a social fact is, the story is so big in design that I needed somewhere to start naming it, but I always fell short.
For now, Social Fact is the name of the light novel, it might change for future light novels, but this was chapter 0 of the novel. You don't even know her name yet, but I trust that it won't be a nag to understand what is going on in this chapter.
The model of the story will resemble that of my other works of fanfiction. Normally my chapters are around 2k which has been the norm for my entire writing story so far and I intend to keep it, so I don't know how many chapters there'll be.
This work will be very reliant on the social aspect of what boys and girls that age often come in contact with. No I'm not going to be all about romance. In fact it's quite a small part in it. This is more about a group of youngsters dealing with their personal battles against their personalities and social circumstances. I'm really fond of the idea that this is a work based off the model that Hanasaku Iroha and Tari Tari left behind on my person. Slice of Life, Comedy, Angst, Friendship, Romance, all in one read.
With that said, I hope you enjoy it. I'll be trying to post updates regularly. Enjoy, chapter 0 of Social Fact.
PS: Does anyone know where I could post a work like this online besides AS?
PPS: Any kind of comment is honestly inspiring. Even if you just drop to say hi, I'm constantly stalking the forums waiting for an extra comment or something that says "hey that was cool". It really pushes my to write more, so feel free to do that as well!
|2013-12-05, 23:20||Link #24|
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
I've not really found a good place to publish such things. DeviantArt supposedly has the ability to permit story publishing but this rocket engineer can't get it to work. I work my way through the submittal system and every method I try I end up with a dead end on text submittal. I'll keep an eye out for fantasy/sci-fi story forums.
As for the writing, there are minor spots where grammar (third person, passive, tense) are wonky but that's what editing and review is for. There's a lot of pronouns. Not necessarily a problem but it can get confusing in a complex sentence with three or four people involved.
example: she was glad that she kicked her out of the house once that boyfriend of hers told her to kick her over to her dad
I like the way you quietly let the reader know this is the "near future" (or "edge of now") with the use of technology. Also liked the gradual way her world is uncovered to the reader.
A lot of writers out there still haven't really grokked how thoroughly new tech has demolished some very old plot tropes and cliches.
|2014-03-11, 01:06||Link #25|
Good OP Hunter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Social Fact Episode 1
She woke up with a start. And by a start, what she usually means is a head start to the floor.
“I really need to stop having that dream...” the girl rubbed her head gingerly. Once her brain plugged in she could make out what sounded like her father cooking breakfast. At least she wouldn't have to cook it th- Of course he was up, it was about 6 in the morning. “What am I doing awake at this hour?” Picking herself off the floor she decided to slip back into the bed and pretend nothing happened.
I said go away! She pulled her blankets above her head. Her father gave up soon enough. She would have more time for her sleep, just as she wanted. As soon as those mosquitos gave up...
Growling, she got up and started smacking the air. Truth was that she was terrified of hitting mosquitos because they looked so disgusting to her that she had to grab something to hit them. She knew she wouldn't fool anyone “missing” those insects, more so when no one was looking. She was lying to herself, but that was something she was quite used to in any case.
She gave up and got out of her room, finding a note next to the fridge.
Rouka, I tried waking you up. Breakfast is in the microwave. Remember to go to school soon.
She sighed. His dad really tried to hard. Of course the breakfast was not cold at all because she waited until he had left. Rouka really didn't have the wits to talk to a total stranger who had kindly given her a home. That's what her dad was. A total stranger.
Her parents had been married for about 3 years before her dad found out about her mother's antics with pretty much the entire region. She could have given birth to an army had it not been for modern day technology. Her father could not stand the shame and ran from home basically. She never heard of him other than a couple of times he called to check up on her. All Rouka knew was that he was a paramedic and he was insanely busy most of the time. He probably took on this job to stop from himself from thinking, she was no wizard, but that's what she would do as well in his position.
Then her mother kicked her out of the place she called home just because some idiot suggested that. She came back from school one day and found a bag with her stuff outside and a letter telling her to go to her father's, that she was no longer welcome there. Rouka thought it was a prank, and knocked on the door. No one was there. Her mother had moved places to who knows where and left her completely stranded.
It had yet to sink in. She was probably in shock for most of the trip to her dad's and had not stopped to think about it. All she knew was that she was living with what might as well be a random stranger. Thank god he didn't have a girlfriend as well because she might as well hit the streets at that moment. She took the breakfast out of the microwave and eyed it not really interested in it.
She dumped it. It was still quite early for her standards so she decided that she might as well do something productive. Rouka donned a yellow skirt and a white blouse, as well as a pair of aviator glasses and decided to hit the street for some breakfast, not survival food.
The sunglasses were needed at that time because the sun was firing a full frontal assault of light most of the way to the closest diner. Or breakfaster, whatever works for people. She almost punched a window when she found out that the place was closed because of a fire the day before.
Sighing, she resigned breakfast as she decided to pull up a map on her phone. She had to get a lot of paperwork done at the school.
“I swear, if they are closed because it's too early I'm not going to school this year.” She muttered to herself as she started following the indications on her phone. Turns out she was much closer than she expected to be, it might not be half bad walking here. She had taken a habit to go to school on a pair of rollers but that had gotten her a few bruises. Mostly against the floor, but she had hit a few posts as well.
Bored on the way to her death, I mean, school; she started downloading random apps for her phone. One of those was a dating application that would pair you up with anyone on a 100km radius. Handy. Very handy, unless someone from the government came down cracking on it. But who cares, it's a new source of dates, and she needed new dates in this area.
The idea behind that application was putting up a picture of yourself and seeing other people do the same. You then swipe right or left if you like or dislike that person, and if both of you like each other, then its a date. She just spent the next 10 minutes swiping right, she'd have time to pick later.
She had arrived at the school at long last and pocketed her phone. Rouka actually had no idea of what to do right now so she spent the next 10 minutes wandering around school looking for the teacher's lounge or something. She found a couple of boards that told her what to do in case of a transfer so she just followed those guidelines.
And she found herself standing in front of the director's office. He was on a vacation, apparently she was too insignificant for anyone to bother with her so some random teacher just told her to wait until noon.
Looking at her phone she knew it was about four hours from that moment.
“Breakfast it is then...” She left the school and used her map application once again. Anywhere was fine as long as they had some kind of food. She regretted ditching her father's master piece of survival skill. Granted, if she were living in the north pole with nothing to eat, that would look like a king's meal, but sadly, she lived in the 21st century where for just a tiny sum you'd get a decent meal. Not that her father's cooking was bad, but it really was.
Closest place was a bar around 8 blocks from there. She trekked a bit faster this time, running away from school if you will.
The building was interesting. It had a very big lighthouse outside. Of course, the place was called “The Lighthouse” She figured it was some sort of dance club during the nights. Or some sort of bar. In any case it didn't look too bad from outside. On the inside, it was a nice place bathed in morning sunlight. It had two floors, but very few people were actually even on the first floor.
The bar was set on the corner of the block, so one would get a view of most of the crossing if you sat next to a window. She did just that and wiped off the sweat from her neck. Even with such small clothing the heat was really bad, noon would be exhausting. She took another look at the place. Glass windows covered the outisde of the bar, allowing for perfect view of the city. There was a staircase at the end that took you to the small 2nd floor. She couldn't see much but it looked like most of the other floor was more of the same. The first floor had a big circular bar in the middle where Rouka guessed the DJ would be if this place became a dance club. During the day it looked deserted. There was a more important bar next to the wall where she guessed most of the work would be done.
There was actually very few workers at this time here, had most of them gone after cleaning the place? Had yesterday been a great day here?
Before long however, a girl around her age, with long black hair came to her and asked for her order. She was actually dressed casually, normally cafes or diners and even bars had their staff dress up in some kind of uniform, she thought it was strange, but no one else thought so, apparently.
In very little time she had a decent breakfast in front of her. At long last. Her phone started ringing, which made her remember her mental note about changing the annoying whistle. She had about 15 people to talk to in the new app already. A few of them had actually talked to her already, but she couldn't be bothered to read right now. There were more important matters, like a nice breakfast in front of her waiting to be eaten.
She had to kill a lot of time however after she was done with her breakfast. She simply sat there in the bar with her phone. Watching the few people who walked in here have some coffee or tea or drink of choice. A few were staff members, but not many people were needed to run this place, at least not today.
She saw another girl around her age come into the bar and she went behind a door. After a couple of minutes she came back dressed up in a slick outfit, resembling a butler... with a lot less clothing. But the girl from earlier had not changed. Was she the boss or something?
A couple of hours went by but she still had to kill time. The staff had already taken to ignore her, as she was not ordering anything and was just taking a spot. The male cooks didn't mind however. One of the staff members decided to turn on the tv. A newscast with a handy subtitle came on. Apparently a train had caught fire nearby. No wonder she woke up with her face on the floor, the phone must have rung calling her father to work.
The girl that was beyond the dress code of the bar got into the middle bar and opened a laptop that was there. Before long a nice deep house tune started humming out of the sound system that hung on the ceiling. This place was definitely a place to visit at night, so she decided to remember it in case a date came by around here.
After what seemed like eternity, Rouka decided that 11:34 was the time to leave the place and start hiking back to school. She arrived a bit before noon, but punctuality is never bad.
After a small 10 minute talk with the headmaster she had all her things settled and would be starting high school normally. Rouka texted her dad as she came out of the school, pocketing her phone later, only to raise her sight just in time to see a familiar girl go past next to her.
Was that the girl from the bar?
She apparently thought the same thing as they both met their gaze. Rouka flashed a smile at her.
Back at home, she decided to combat the mosquitos with fire. She turned on the air conditioner full blast and opened the window. “This ought to drive them out of here”
Of course, only more mosquitos came in.
“That's it, I give up”
She threw herself on the floor below the AC. At least they wouldn't get her there. Pulling out her phone she decided to give her social life some care. In just a bit of time she found a date, apparently 2kms away from here. That's quite close. I guess that the blindspot of this application is that you cannot lie about distances anymore.
“Let's meet up at this place called The Lighthouse”
|anime, fanfic, fanfiction, little busters!, romance, slice of life, tari tari, visual novel|