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Old 2006-12-27, 02:27   Link #21
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlurEXE View Post
I like this. "Gin will die the most beautifully of them all"

*eyes glow red/evil*
Come on Kira. Make it painful.
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Old 2006-12-29, 15:55   Link #22
Megu-chan
Is not junk!
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Age: 33
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I've got two more chapters done!
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/45576337/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/45576896/
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Old 2006-12-30, 23:44   Link #23
blitz1/2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Megu-chan View Post
Another wonderful good job on those 2 chapters. It seems Shinku and Suigintou have a crush on Jun.

Please continue. Your work is too good for it to stop.
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Old 2006-12-31, 00:06   Link #24
Megu-chan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
Another wonderful good job on those 2 chapters. It seems Shinku and Suigintou have a crush on Jun.

Please continue. Your work is too good for it to stop.
Thanks so much!! hehe I've already got 18..and two or three pages of 19 started!! a lot more drama with Gin and Megu in 18 and 19!
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Old 2006-12-31, 12:33   Link #25
Megu-chan
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Spoiler for chapter 18:


You guys get to read chapter 18 before anyone else!! I'm 6 pages into 19 at the moment!
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Old 2006-12-31, 13:00   Link #26
edgewalker00
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
this is the link to my fan fiction. this is my first attempt in making a rozen maiden fic. hope you guys like it. ^_^

please drop by and rate my reviews (even insults/harsh criticisms are appreciated) >_<

Rozen Maiden: Eternal Play

Act 1: Well Laid Plans
Act 2: Medium's Heart
Act 3: Harbinger of Alice
Act 4: Deep Wounds
Act 5: Isolation//Solitude
Act 6: Convalescence
Act 7: Deception
Act 8: Infernal
Act 9: Rebirth and Baptism
Act 10: Crossroads
Act 11: Defiance and Damnation
Act 12: Innocence
Act 13: Snow Mirror
Act 14: Remember
Act 15: Corinne
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Last edited by edgewalker00; 2007-04-17 at 05:47. Reason: **UPDATED** 4-5-07
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Old 2006-12-31, 14:35   Link #27
EnigmaticThief
Schach is MAI WAIFU
 
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I've read through the first six chapters of your fanfic, Megu-Chan (aka Evil-Poptart) and let me give you my review so far:

I think that the fake-out you did in the first chapter was a very clever idea, as I said to myself, "This doesn't seem right..." However, after the first chapter I didn't find there to be very much of a shift in tone to make that first fake-out as poignant. Suiseiseki's anger towards Suigintou was well-done, and the scenes of her doting over Souseiseki and Hina Ichigo were heartfelt. I think you could have done a better job of writing for character (the characters tend to blend together in terms of personality, speech, and physical mannerisms.) I will keep reading, though.
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Old 2006-12-31, 16:06   Link #28
Megu-chan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnigmaticThief View Post
I've read through the first six chapters of your fanfic, Megu-Chan (aka Evil-Poptart) and let me give you my review so far:

I think that the fake-out you did in the first chapter was a very clever idea, as I said to myself, "This doesn't seem right..." However, after the first chapter I didn't find there to be very much of a shift in tone to make that first fake-out as poignant. Suiseiseki's anger towards Suigintou was well-done, and the scenes of her doting over Souseiseki and Hina Ichigo were heartfelt. I think you could have done a better job of writing for character (the characters tend to blend together in terms of personality, speech, and physical mannerisms.) I will keep reading, though.
Thanks for the crit on my fan fic! you're the second person that has given a decent reply to my work. I really appriciate the crit honestly! Things to get better as the story goes on, I start to work more with thier mannerisms quite a bit more, I think I'm getting better with how Suiseiseki and Shinku are xD Sousei is too serious for me...so i make her a little sweeter in later chaps. anyway keep reading!! i just finished 19
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Old 2006-12-31, 17:33   Link #29
Megu-chan
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Here's chap 19! just got it finished a little while ago!! the GinXMegu paring folks will like this one
Spoiler:
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Old 2007-01-02, 00:46   Link #30
EnigmaticThief
Schach is MAI WAIFU
 
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Having just caught up with the story, Megu-Chan, let me give you another critique:

Things done well:

-- You've done a better job of recreating the general atmosphere found in the actual series. Chapter 17 is the best example of that. Including the vast majority of canon characters also added to that familiarity.

Things to work on:

-- Narration. Right now the voice of narration you use in the story is a bit too familiar, as if you yourself were telling the story. When this happens and your personal biases and excitement slip into phrases of the narration it makes it seem very young and unprofessional.

-- Your chapters are a bit... episodic. I mean that problems tend to introduce themselves and get resolved in very short order. You should think about weaving plotlines together rather than building them up and breaking them down one-at-a-time.
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Old 2007-01-02, 09:04   Link #31
Megu-chan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnigmaticThief View Post
Having just caught up with the story, Megu-Chan, let me give you another critique:

Things done well:

-- You've done a better job of recreating the general atmosphere found in the actual series. Chapter 17 is the best example of that. Including the vast majority of canon characters also added to that familiarity.

Things to work on:

-- Narration. Right now the voice of narration you use in the story is a bit too familiar, as if you yourself were telling the story. When this happens and your personal biases and excitement slip into phrases of the narration it makes it seem very young and unprofessional.

-- Your chapters are a bit... episodic. I mean that problems tend to introduce themselves and get resolved in very short order. You should think about weaving plotlines together rather than building them up and breaking them down one-at-a-time.
Hmm..ya know I think you may be right with things getting resolved too quick..I wrote half of 18 and 19 in themiddle of the night and was probably half assed asleep. I'll try harder to not make things sound..un professional in the later chapters, xD I guess I did get a little excited about a few things. With the newest problem that going to pester the dolls I'm definately not going to solve it in one or two chapters this time. Your crit has really helped me alot!!! thanks so much!!
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Old 2007-01-02, 09:34   Link #32
edgewalker00
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i'll be looking forward for the next chapters hope you can apply your old style of making my mind race since the next chapter would include mind boggling and butt kicking action because of the 10th doll

8th = bara
9th = shaina
10th = jigukumo (uh is this ryt? ~_~ )

thanks so much for the review. i'll do better next time ^_^

till then, have a pleasant year ahead guys ^_^
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Old 2007-01-05, 01:57   Link #33
Shadow Miko
ASuki's #1 Virgillia fan~
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Moriya Shrine, Gensokyo
Age: 21
Oh...err....while I doubt anybody cares, I've updated Backlash alot.

Waikyoku Arc: Chapter Two
Waikyoku Arc: Chapter Three
Waikyoku Arc: Chapter Four
Waikyoko Arc: Chapter Five
Otomegokoro Arc: Chapter One
Otomegokoro Arc: Chapter Two
Otomegokoro Arc: Chapter Three
Otomegokoro Arc: Chapter Four

That's all since the previous post I made here.

The last two arcs focus on Suigintou and Kirakishou, so enjoy that if you will.

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Old 2007-01-13, 16:35   Link #34
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Megu-chan View Post
Here's chap 19! just got it finished a little while ago!! the GinXMegu paring folks will like this one
Spoiler:

I finished reading your latest chapters. Exciting battle. Very good story so far.

No! Bara-chan! Why?! Why must you die?! NO!!!!!

At least Kirakishou is still alive.
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Old 2007-01-13, 18:19   Link #35
Megu-chan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
I finished reading your latest chapters. Exciting battle. Very good story so far.

No! Bara-chan! Why?! Why must you die?! NO!!!!!

At least Kirakishou is still alive.
She'll be back in a later chapter, I can't keep Bara-chan gone for long, Kira will see to it that she'll be back!
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Old 2007-01-15, 20:48   Link #36
Shadow Miko
ASuki's #1 Virgillia fan~
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Moriya Shrine, Gensokyo
Age: 21
Here's a little more. Haven't been working on this much (or Rozen Maids for that matter) because of *points to sig link* my other fic.

Speaking of Rozen Maids, Suiseiseki is the first to confession to Jun, in case anybody cares.

Myouyaku Arc: Chapter One

The new arc, The Myouyaku Arc (The Wonder Drug Arc), features on some of the left out characters, Shinku, Yuna, Tomoe, Suiseiseki and Jun. Kira, Megu and Gin won't be in the spotlight for awhile because the last two arcs were about them.
I feel this one hits a little close to Higurashi, with the needle in the food and the scratching your neck to death, something that was vaguely show in the first arc when Hina and Sui fought.

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Old 2007-01-21, 03:33   Link #37
edgewalker00
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Join Date: Dec 2006
for anyone interested...

Act 6: Convalescence

of Rozen Maiden: Eternal Play is up

enjoy ^_^
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Old 2007-01-21, 16:35   Link #38
Megu-chan
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Here's chapters 21 and 22 finished!!
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/47117326/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/47117761/
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Old 2007-01-22, 09:47   Link #39
SlurEXE
MEGU REALLY IS JUNK
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Because I got banned from DevART for "participating in a coordinated attack against a user" who is banned now. :|

Partially based on Chapter 21 and 22 of Megu-chan's story, because I'm a uncreative tard ;D

Spoiler:
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Old 2007-01-22, 20:31   Link #40
_duangelique
Adorate Sui ~desu.
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Monteloup.
Here is the link to my fic. It's on spanish but I know that there must be some latin people in this thread community:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/47192931/
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